Photo: WeHeartIt
5 Critical Things You Need To Do To Make Your Dating Profile Pop
Click Here for the Post https://www.yourtango.com/2018314786/dating-profile-examples-and-five-things-you-need-do-make-yours-popYou’re sabotaging yourself.
Did you know that in certain corners of the internet people actually turn to me for advice about love and dating? That’s right, I may be in no way licensed or certified, but 10 plus years writing about love and dating has made me something of amateur-expert — an amapert, if you will!
The question I’m tackling today gets asked almost every show: “I’m single and I can’t meet anyone and dating websites don’t work. I don’t know how to get a date. What can I do?” You can start by checking out dating profile examples, because without them, yours is probably the reason you haven’t had success.
Dating websites and dating apps absolutely work. I’m not just saying that because I met my current boyfriend there, I’m saying it because I also met my worst boyfriend there, and my dead boyfriend there (long story).
If dating apps and websites aren’t working for you it’s because you aren’t working them. In order to get the best out of the site, there are a few different things you need: Patience, a self-care plan, and an amazing profile.
Today I want to break down that last one: the amazing profile. If you follow this advice you will absolutely get a better selection of partners. That doesn’t mean you aren’t still going to be bombarded with unsolicited d*** pics or messages that just say “hi,” but it does mean that you can focus on separating from the wheat from the chaff instead of just wandering waist deep in chaff and crying.
1. Be diverse.
In your photos and in your interests. You only have one face and one body, and while they are both fly as hell, you have THOUSANDS of different expressions and ways of capturing your face, your body, and in doing so, a better glimpse into who you are as a person.
We all have an angle or a pose that we love to strike. I turn the right side of my face towards the camera so often that I had a man message me and ask if I was missing an ear — legitimately, that happened. Make sure your pictures show your face, your body, your passions, and all of your angles. Dudes are more visual than women, so if you date men, consider this.
Same goes for your interests. Sure you like humor, but what else do you like? What interests you? What do you spend your time Googling? Include this stuff, it helps build a fuller picture of who you are. I mean, who you are other than a choice piece of Prime A filet.
2. Be clear.
For a long time I had a terrible profile. In fairness to me, I was a dateless late-in-life virgin at the time, terrified of being forever alone, but also maybe even more terrified of actually going on a date. A big problem with my profile was the fact that I included a lot of quotes, maybe a poem, and very little about what I actually wanted in a relationship.
Instead of saying “Just looking for sex” or “hoping to meet someone special and see where it goes” or “Only message me if your d*** is working and you have a healthy relationship with your mother,” I festooned my profile with Ani DiFranco lyrics and poems by the Persian mystic Rumi.
Is it any wonder I didn’t get laid? Don’t be like me. Make your profile crystal clear when it comes to what you want and who you are.
3. Be honest.
If you know there are things you don’t want, say that. If someone messages you asking you if you’re open to whatever it is they’ve got on offer (threesome, hook-up, dinner with their mom), don’t feel like you have to be nice. Tell them the truth. You’ll both be better off.
Also, be honest about your weight, your height, your income, and all that other jazz. It might seem “too” personal, but consider it a best practice. You’re establishing that you’re trustworthy and honest from the jump, and this gives you every right to expect the same from them!
4. Be open.
I had a massive list of “won’ts” when I started dating online: I wouldn’t date dads, I wouldn’t date divorced guys, I wouldn’t date guys who were professional clowns. To date, in an effort to keep my options open, I have dated all three. Please feel free to pick whichever two bring you the most delight.
A date is not a marriage. If you meet someone online and you click, and they ask you out, go out. Be safe, obviously, but don’t automatically discount someone just because they don’t meet all of your arbitrary restrictions for love. Who knows what you could keeping yourself from?
5. Be pragmatic.
Look, nobody wants to pay to meet a mate, but guess what? Sometimes with dating apps you get what you pay for. So if you’ve paid nothing, uh, yeah, that’s what you’re going to get.
Don’t be afraid to pay to play. That’s what loads of other people are doing. Plus, it sends a message that you’re taking dating seriously and will in turn attract equally serious potential mates.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the love and dating advice show, Becca After Dark, on YourTango’s Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.
