Category Archives: Dating Advice

Tinder CEO Eli Seidman shares his tips and tricks for success – Fast Company

  Dating Advice, Relationships

When it comes to online dating, Elie Seidman knows what makes people swipe right. As CEO of Tinder, the innovative digital matchmaking app, he has helped thousands of people make a connection and, for better or worse, reinvented the dating world along the way. After taking over the company from founder Sean Rad in January 2018, Seidman, who previously ran dating site OkCupid, has helped grow Tinder into a global brand and digital innovation leader.

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Here, he reveals his tips and tools for getting the most out of every day.

[Photo: Marble Rye Photography, courtesy of Blue Bottle Coffee]What’s your on switch?

Having kids has made me an early riser. My day begins at 5 a.m. On a good morning, I’ll go to Equinox and do a core workout inspired by training I took at David Kirsch‘s gym when I lived in New York. Then I’ll swim. I’m a coffee aficionado, and when I get home, I’ll make Blue Bottle pour-over coffee while listening to NPR.

Before heading into the office, I like to put together priorities for the day: the things that must be done today, and work out how they ladder up into the rest of the week/month/year’s priorities. Doing this ensures that my schedule doesn’t control me, because I’m mindful of the big picture.

What’s your off switch? 

Since I’m an early riser, I also tend to end the day on the early side. Many mornings, I’m out of the house before my wife and kids are up, so I make a point of getting home for dinner most nights of the week, and I’ll put my kids to bed. My wife and I will catch up over a Cabernet. My mother is French, so my appreciation of wine started early.

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I watch very little television and end all screen time a few hours before going to sleep. I love books and like to read fiction to wind down. A great book pulls my mind somewhere else.

What books are on your nightstand? 

Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

This book is ultimately about the role of luck in life. It made me think about the magic of randomness and reminds me to be appreciative and grateful. We often attribute too much control over our own destiny, when in fact so much is related to luck. Correlation is frequently mistaken for causation.

The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy by Bill Walsh

This is, in my opinion, the best book on leadership by far. It’s by a football coach, but it’s not actually about football. The core idea is the results are symptoms and you need to manage the process. If you are successful in managing the process, the symptom (or result) takes care of itself. For so much of what we do, it’s how good the team is and how well it works together. The results are a symptom of that team cohesion.

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The Man in the White Sharkskin Suit: A Jewish Family’s Exodus from Old Cairo to the New World by Lucette Lagnado

My mother grew up in France, but she was born in Egypt. This book is about the world her parents lived in. It’s a beautiful and sad story about the joys of living. It’s about the beauty of day-to-day life. This book has deeply impacted me. It reminds me to be present every day. I spend very little time thinking about what my life will be in 5, 10, or 15 years. Your life is essentially your days; so if you want a good life, focus on having good days.

[Photo: courtesy of IWC]What classic product do you still use because you believe nobody’s ever improved on it?

I love gadgets. Honestly, there are so many things I could talk about here. I have an analog IWC Big Pilot watch. I’ve had it for 15 years, and I don’t see a need to get anything else. The 1987 Toyota FJ60 Land Cruiser. It’s a classic for a reason. The 1980s Mercedes 300 TD is an indestructible car with an engine known for easily going a million miles. A headphone amp with vacuum tubes. The sound produced from vacuum tubes is entirely unique. And paper and pen. Nothing will ever improve upon it.

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The art of dating in your 50s – according to the experts – Lifestyle from Xposé – Virgin Media Television – virginmediatelevision.ie

  Dating Advice, Relationships

8th Jan 19 | Lifestyle

As a French author says women in their 50s are too old for him to date, Jenny Stallard talks to those who disagree – and gets their advice.

Dating is a minefield, there’s no two ways about it. From ghosting to first date nerves, there isn’t a single person out there who doesn’t have a horror story. So it’s not that helpful when people make comments that add to the melee that is single life.

But French writer Yann Moix has done just that, saying in an interview with Marie Claire magazine that he found women over 50 ‘too old’ to love. While he also offered the caveat that many women wouldn’t want him either (Moix, a novelist and film director, is 50), he said: “The body of a 25-year-old woman is extraordinary. The body of a woman of 50 is not extraordinary at all.”

But it just isn’t true, say experts. Dennie Smith is 57 and runs dating agency Old Style Dating. She says: “That’s really rude and just not true. [In many cases] older women are looking after their bodies more than younger women.”

Smith added that she has many clients who are 50 and over, the majority of whom are “all having good sex”. But if you want to date and you’re over 50, how to start? Smith and others share their advice…

Give it a go

“I can understand it’s scary, and the first time for some, but if you don’t try, you don’t know,” says Smith. “Yes we are independent in our 50s, but you still want company.”

Find a decent agency or app

“If you go with a respectful agency, you should be able to avoid getting rude pictures,” says Smith. “Yes, there are lots of free apps, but you’re exposed to all sorts of things…” There are many to choose from, including Smith’s agency, but you could also try Lumen, an app aimed at those over 50.

Ezgi Ceren, dating expert at Once says: “Do not be afraid to trust in technology that is available to make your dating life easier. Don’t invest your time in dates that are not going to go anywhere – be honest and upfront with your date about what you are looking for, and if they have other ideas, do not be afraid to move on.

“It’s important to take your time finding someone who is right for you, so that you enter a meaningful relationship that is much more likely to stand the test of time.”

Ghosting is a no-no at any age

(Thinkstock/PA)

It’s something you might associate with time-poor phone-addicted 20-somethings, but ghosting is common at any age when you’re dating, and is the biggest no-no, says Smith. “The rules apply at any age – it’s polite to reply if you’re sent a message. Be honest with your photo, and completely be yourself on your profile,” she advises.

Compromise is key

Jacqui Wright is in her 60s, and through experience has become something of an expert in dating for those over 50. She says: “Don’t take it too seriously, and you have to realise the goal posts have changed. Be prepared to compromise on some level.”

Watch out for scammers

“It’s easy to get scammed as an older dater. Many scammers use profiles that say they’re peace keepers in Syria, army generals or doctors, [and usually say they are] widowed with a young child and looking to relocate to England,” advises Wright.

Know that one person’s opinion isn’t everyone’s

Yes, Moix is entitled to his opinion, but a quick look at the response on Twitter, and it’s certain that not everyone agrees with. Take heart, and don’t place his views into the mouths of the other 50-somethings you might date.

© Press Association 2019

Is Sonakshi Sinha dating Zaheer Iqbal? Find out here – The Live Mirror

  Dating Advice, Relationships

Even before he makes his Bollywood debut, Zaheer Iqbal has been grabbing attention with link-up rumours. If the sources are to be believed, Zaheer is dating the ‘Dabangg girl’ Sonakshi Sinha.

According to a report in Filmfare, Salman introduced Sonakshi and Zaheer, and the two instantly clicked. The two were last seen together at Salman Khan’s 53rd birthday bash at his Panvel farmhouse. The birthday bash was attended by Salman’s close friends and family members.

Zaheer wished the actress on her birthday and had a rather adorable post for her. Have a look at a post here:

Zaheer Iqbal aka Zahero will be launched by Salman Khan in ‘Notebook’ which is being produced under his home production banner Salman Khan Films. Zaheer, who is Salman’s friend’s son, will be making his debut opposite Monish Bahl’s daughter Pranutan. The film is a love story set in Kashmir and is being directed by Nitin Kakkar. The film is expected to release on March 29 this year.

In a series of the tweet, Salman wrote about Zaheer and wished him good luck and also had a piece of advice to give him.

Meanwhile, Sonakshi is currently shooting for the last schedule of Karan Johar’s ‘Kalank’. The film also stars Alia Bhatt, Varun Dhawan, Madhuri Dixit, Sanjay Dutt, and more. Besides this, Sonakshi is also working on Mission Mangal, co-starring Akshay Kumar, and will be seen in Dabangg 3.

It is to be noted that Salman had previously launched many new faces like Sooraj Pancholi, Athiya Shetty, Warina Hussain and his brother-in-law Aayush Sharma in Bollywood.

Also Read: Filmmaker-actor Rakesh Roshan diagnosed with early stage cancer, reveals Hrithik Roshan

What Is A Relationship, Really? Dating Advice For What To Look For In Healthy Relationships – YourTango

  Dating Advice, Relationships

Find out which one you are, and be that.

The following advice is aimed at adults who have been dating for a good decade already.

In my opinion, you should do whatever you want with dating in your twenties, within the bounds of treating people with feelings like you would want yourself to be treated, of course. The proverb all’s fair in love and war is never literally true, but is whimsically true when you’re dating in high school and becomes less true the older you get and the more you should expect of yourself and others.

When you are young, too much about your core self is malleable, and that’s how it should be. Other than those occasional high school sweethearts who got lucky and have been together ever since, dating in your 20s should be viewed as an experiment to find out what you want out of a partner, and what you are prepared to offer yourself.

However, at a certain point you need to get your romantic stuff together.

In a sense, every romantic relationship you will ever have goes through a “high school” stage in the beginning, during which you’re just getting to know each other and it’s OK to find some unforgivable deal-breaker, and break up with caring, but without much else owed to the other person.

This ends after a couple of months. The longer things go on, the more you will “owe” the other person. If you’ve just ghosted someone you’ve been seeing regularly for six months, unless you did it because you fear for your personal safety or something, you’re not a kind person.

I was poly for about four years, and have been in a monogamous relationship for over two years. Being poly was a wonderful thing, and taught me a great deal about what I wanted and what I didn’t. It started after being burned out on a decade of serial monogamy.

RELATED: 20 Little Things That’ll Make Your Relationship Super Strong

Being poly taught me that all those years, I was essentially monogamous for the wrong reasons. Because polyamory is less accepted by society, friends, and family, people tend to enter into relationships with whoever they went on a few dates with merely because they’d like to continue seeing them. This is not enough of a reason.

Actively learning what I wanted out of a relationship taught me how to be monogamous for the right reasons. When I was poly, I used to joke that “it takes three or four men to make one good boyfriend these days” and I was right. I knew I was ready to give it up when I found someone who felt like three or four men put together. He was enough, and then some.

But I’m not talking about heightened passion or otherworldly attraction.

I’m talking about the more rational process of someone possessing 90% of the traits I had always wanted in one person and didn’t really think I’d ever find.

I’m writing this today because over the past few months several of my friends have gone through painful breakups. They had been together anywhere between six months and five years, yet all of them had lovers who said to them some dreaded version of “I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore”, “there’s no spark anymore”, etc.

Here’s the thing: adults know that the in-love part fades, then ebbs and flows with work, attention, and active caring over the years. It may take months to fade, or it may take years. But it is the obvious eventual side effect of the very familiarity you seek.

True monogamists are not afraid of the lack of spark or butterflies; that wonderful but ultimately transient and even shallow feeling of being in a state of love.

I say shallow because everyone eventually has had that feeling — and strongly — for a person they know they have no business dating. Chemistry doesn’t care if you’re deeply attracted to a Republican who would make you incredibly miserable. Once you’ve had an experience like that, you don’t put a lot of stock in what your blood thinks is a good idea.

True monogamists are there for the benefit of adding a partner; a family member to your day to day life that a sister or a mom or a pet can’t possibly provide. That goal is ultimately antithetical to romance by nature; a fact that successful monogamists use as a starting point; they do not hide from it, nor do they leave it alone and hope it will spark itself from time to time without any work.

RELATED: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Relationships

People who are dumped because the other person “just wasn’t feeling it” after a couple years have a right to be angry, and a right to feel betrayed. If you are that person, who has ended a long-term relationship over not feeling the magic, then you owe it to yourself and others to become a polyamorist.

You’re either a spark-chaser or a long-burner. There is no in-between.

If you are trying to be a monogamist yet insist on expressing that desire to “be in love” through serial monogamy, then you are not being honest with yourself or your needs, and are disrespecting the needs of people you care for.

Polyamorists have the EQ to know that being a spark-chaser is nothing to be ashamed of; that it’s natural for human beings to desire others throughout their lifetime. They’re right, and they have the courage to admit they want that.

Monogamists understand the same thing, they’ve just made a conscious decision to overpower it for the sake of something they have built with another.

Yet for some crazy reason, it’s still seen as more moral to be a guy who has a new girlfriend every few years, than to be the open, honest, Ethical Slut.

American culture is dead wrong about this. If you are thirty or over and always looking for the person who will satisfy every need while making you feel like you are in love, you need to stop being in relationships. Period. Relationships quite simply don’t provide that.

There is also no evolutionary purpose to the in love feeling lasting longer than it takes to produce offspring. Sorry, but nature is far from romantic. Nature doesn’t give a fuck about making you feel endless butterflies for the same person over decades.

Monogamists have the EQ to know that the “spark” is replaced by other things that are more valuable to them; a sense of family with the other person, a deep sense of belonging, a partner who is there for you when you get sick. This is why polyamorists often have a dedicated “primary” who serves that role, while their other lovers serve as adventure, romance, and variety.

That doesn’t mean that monogamists shouldn’t stay on their toes in a relationship and try, whenever possible, to spark things up. They should, and they do. They are comfortable doing so because they are rooted in where the relationship is and have the emotional depth to roll with the tide, to endure the plateaus, and to always seek the best in the other person.

If your idea of looking for The One is going from relationship to relationship, you are denying who you are, hurting others, and wasting people’s time.

Are you interested in always being in and out of love? Admit that poly is best for you. If you want a family, companionship, and history with the other person, and most importantly — accept the effort and anti-glamour that comes with it — you should be in a relationship and should not try to make things work with those who don’t see the same way.

Certainly, there are other reasons to end a relationship that are perfectly valid. But if you’re ending it because you’re not feeling it anymore, you never felt the desire for monogamy as it actually exists in the first place. Figure out who you are, what you want, and be that. The only people who can have both are those few who are very, very good at polyamory.

RELATED: 12 Facts About Love You Only Realize When You’re Finally In A Strong, Healthy Relationship

Sara Lynn Michener is a writer, maker, feminist, and internet curator. Follw her on Twitter and read more of her writing on Medium.

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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