Relationships Talk

Off the market! Nikki Bella is moving on after ending her engagement and six-year relationship withJohn Cena in April 2018. Bella is dating her former Dancing With the Starspartner Artem Chigvintsev, a source exclusively reveals to Us Weekly.

The professional wrestler, 35, and the ballroom dancer, 36, have been seeing each other “for a while,” the insider tells Us.

Bella appeared on the dance competition’s 25th season in 2017 and Cena, 41, also became close with Chigvintsev at the time. In fact, the Trainwreck actor once thought that the ABC star would choreograph his first dance with Bella.

“As far as dancing, I think he’s probably gonna teach me my first dance,” Cena told E! News in November 2017. “So hopefully I’ll be able to take those tips from him there.”

Bella supported Chigvintsev during Dancing With the Stars: Juniors tapings during the summer of 2018 and the pair have been spending a lot of time together since amid their busy schedules. The Russia native is currently on a national Dancing With the Stars: Live tour, but he was spotted with Bella at the farmer’s market in Studio City, California, over Christmas weekend during time off.

The new couple will also document their relationship on the upcoming fourth season of Total Bellas and the trailer, which aired on Thursday, January 3, showcases some of their dates. However, fans previously believed that the WWE star would pursue a relationship with The Bachelorette alumPeter Kraus, who she will also go on a date with in the new season.

Bella opened up to Us in December about dating again following her tumultuous split from Cena. “It’s hard being a single girl. Over the holidays, I’m really looking forward to wandering into some bars and being a single girl,” she said at the time.

Cena, for his part, exclusively told Us later that month that he is “grateful” for  everything he’s learned through his breakup from the E! personality, including the “good times and bad times.”

With reporting by Brody Brown.

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A girl’s got needs, and sometimes you just want to date and keep things casual. Sound familiar? Then you should know the rules of casual dating.

But first: What is a casual relationship? Sure, most people understand that casual dating means you’re not looking to marry the person, but what else is involved?

For starters, casual dating generally implies that you’re not planning to keep someone around long-term. The trick is making sure you’re both on the same page and each have the same expectations.

Now that you know the definition, you can ask yourself, “what’s the best way to pull off a casual relationship?” And “are there benefits of a casual relationship?”

Spoiler alert: Yes, there are benefits, and not-so-serious relationships are easier to navigate than you think. These casual dating tips will help.

1. Make sure everybody involved knows the score.

If you don’t want anything serious, it’s important that the person (or people) you’re dating know that. “Make it clear that you’re not looking for something serious from the beginning,” says Lindsey Metselaar, a relationship expert specializing in millennial dating as the host of the We Met at Acme podcast. “The other person then has the opportunity to say they aren’t interested in that, or to think it over and decide that they are.”

You don’t need to make a huge thing of it or even bring it up the first time you hang out, but clearly saying something like, “I like spending time with you, but I want to make sure you know that I’m not looking for anything serious right now” can go a long way.

2. You still need respect.

Casual dating still involves having a relationship with someone, and respect is important in any relationship: casual, serious, or somewhere in between. That means treating the person with the same kindness you’d treat any other human being—just without the commitment, says Metselaar.

3. Do what you damn well please.

Being in a relationship means you need to be willing to compromise, check in often, and generally spend a solid chunk of your time caring about what your S.O. needs. But with casual dating, you don’t need to do any of that. “You can come and go as you please with little accountability,” says Rosalind Sedacca, a dating and relationship coach, and author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50, & Yes, 60!.

4. Keep a few people in your mix.

You can casually date just one person at a time if that’s all you feel like you can handle, but one of the perks of this whole thing is that you’re not tied to conventional relationship standards, says psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free.

So, don’t be afraid to see a few people at once. “It’s okay to casually date more than one person,” she says. “Expectations are minimal.”

5. No possessiveness, please.

If you happen to see on social media that your casual date is seeing other people, you need to be cool with it, says Metselaar. The same is true for them with your dating life. And, if you start to notice that someone you’re seeing is getting possessive, shut it down real quick. There’s no place for that in casual dating.

6. Don’t make future plans beyond a few days.

If you want someone to hang with on Saturday night, it’s totally okay to make plans a day or two in advance. But anything more than that is getting into relationship territory. “It’s important to really live in the moment, knowing that the moment may be all you have because they may meet someone they want to date seriously,” says Metselaar. Also, you can easily meet someone else before you see them again, and you don’t want to be tied to plans you suddenly don’t want to keep.

7. Focus on other stuff in your life.

Relationships take up a ton of mental energy and, oh hey, you’re not dealing with one right now! Use that energy you would have spent on a relationship and put it toward work, school, or just doing whatever else you’re into. “Casual dating gives you a social, and perhaps sexual outlet, without creating demands on your time and emotions,” says Tessina.

8. Personal favors are a no-go.

That means you call someone else when you plan to move or need someone to watch your cat while you’re out of town. “Casual relationships don’t have those kinds of expectations,” says Tessina. “It’s confusing to ask.” Also, you don’t want to need to do that kind of stuff for them, so…

9. Don’t take them as your plus one.

Weddings and parties are for meeting new people to casually date—not bringing someone you’re not invested in to interact with your friends and family. Go solo to these events. “This way your friends and family won’t begin identifying you as a committed couple, and your date won’t get the idea that you’re intending to incorporate them into your friends and family,” says Tessina.

10. End it like a grownup.

If you’re no longer into someone, even casually, you can do one of two things: Stop asking them to do stuff and hope they go away (and they might), or tell them you’re just not feeling it anymore when they say they want to hang out. “Honesty is the best policy,” says Tessina. Given that this wasn’t a huge thing, you can even respond to an invite with a text that says something along the lines of, “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you lately, but I think this has run its course.” Anything is better than ghosting someone—that’s just mean.

Really, almost anything goes when it comes to casual dating. “Casual dating has few rules beyond politeness,” says Tessina. And if you just can’t with a serious relationship right now, it’s definitely a great option for you.

Making resolutions at the start of the year isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, but reflecting and truly thinking about what you want to achieve in the coming year is healthy. If you’re single and want to be dating, there are some good mantras to be subscribing to – and repeating them should make navigating the cess pit that is dating easier and more enjoyable.

According to research from dating expert Match, Sunday January 6 is the busiest day for online dating. With a third of singles also feeling pressured to find a partner in the new year, Match’s dating expert Kate Taylor shares seven super smart dating resolutions to make this year.

Finish the wrong relationships faster

If you meet someone and realise it’s not going to work out, don’t continue to date them. Staying in the wrong relationship for the “right” reasons (you’re not ready for marriage yet; the sex is unbelievable; maybe you’ll develop feelings later; maybe they’ll develop feelings later; you’re lonely; they’re really nice to you) only wastes time.

Everything you need to know about a relationship is knowable in the first three months. If it’s not working, move on, and give yourself the greatest chance of meeting the right person, faster.

Flirt with the whole world

Flirting is terrifying if you think of it as an act that’s deliberate and seductive, and one you only do for people you’re nuts about. In fact, flirting is simply, as Max O Reill described it, “attention without intention”.

Use it liberally. Smile, talk and laugh with new people (of every gender and age) as often as possible in your everyday life. No, you won’t look insane. Yes, you will boost your love life because you’ll be so used to interacting with strangers in a relaxed, easy-going manner, going on dates will become SO much easier.

Plus, being open and receptive to new people increases your chances of drawing the right people towards you. If you’re really shy, practice a bit every day until you can look an absolute stunner straight in the eye, smile and say “Hi.” At that point you have officially graduated from charm school.

Set a couple of deal breakers

Love isn’t like Ocado, you can’t create a shopping list of qualities that you must have in a partner. What a love-life shopping-list really gives you is a valid-sounding excuse to stay single forever. When I meet really fussy singles, I usually discover they’re feeling vulnerable and scared of getting hurt, and hiding it all behind a fortress of “must haves”.

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Instead, set one or two (OK, three if you’re really anxious about it) genuine deal breakers, and beyond that keep an open mind and an open diary. If someone with none of your dealbreakers asks you out, go. Give it a try. Just one date.

Keep your deal breakers practical and specific, too. “Must be gorgeous” isn’t a dealbreaker. “Must have a job” may be a deal breaker. “Wants to settle into commitment within five years and be open to children within seven” isn’t a deal breaker. Stop thinking like that, or you’ll turn every date into a job interview.

And mainly: be open-minded.

Go where your people go

Being surprised that you keep meeting flighty commitment-dodgers on free, fun dating apps is like being shocked that you can’t apply to be Secretary of State in your local job centre. When you’re looking for a certain type of person, put yourself in their shoes. What do they do at weekends? Where do they work? Where do they hang out?

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I’m not saying stalk them like a poacher, but you have to hang out places at weekends too, so why not go where you have a better chance of meeting your “type”? Or join dating sites targeting that type of person.

Ask different people for dating advice

People give wildly different dating advice, depending on their life stage, experience, outlook on life, etc. Find someone who is in the type of relationship you want, and use them as your oracle.

Look forward, not back

Go all Marie Kondo on your phone and social media accounts, and ruthlessly delete ANYONE who makes you emotionally wobbly; these could be exes, “perfect” couples, or anyone who makes you feel inferior.

Replace them with people who always make you feel amazing, or aspirational couples who tell the truth about their relationships. Michelle Obama is great — in Becoming, she talks openly about marriage counselling.

Make plans

Set fun, empowering plans for 2019 so your eyes are trained optimistically on the new horizon of your life, not on the smouldering romantic wasteland behind. Your single years are the perfect time to switch careers, move house, or travel, without having to take a partner’s feelings into consideration.

The sex resolutions everyone should make

There was a time not so long ago when women judged men based on civilized criteria like the height of their Flock of Seagulls haircuts, or whether they paid for popcorn at the drive-in. Now we have texting. With texting came a set of rules which, though subtle, still set the tone for your budding relationship: “Hahaha” is encouraging, but “haha” is dismissive, and ending a text with an ellipsis means you’re confused (“I don’t know what I want…”) but ending a text with twoellipses means you’re horny (“I don’t know what I want……”). It’s exhausting.

The rules surrounding the practice of sending three texts in a row are particularly convoluted. Some people see triple-texting as the third rail of flirting: Once you send three unanswered texts in a row, these naysayers naysay, it’s over. I think triple-texting can be cute. But especially in the early stages of dating someone, you should understand the triple-texting spectrum, presented below, before you deploy one.

Never Okay: The Please Respond Triple Text

There comes a time in every dalliance with a psycho when you haven’t been in touch for a while, and they decide to burn it all down with a multi-text diatribe about PEOPLE who don’t RESPOND to TEXTS in a timely MANNER. Often these text meltdowns are followed by some variation of “please respond.” We’ve all been tempted to send texts like this: Once you suspect you’re being ghosted—or even if you’re just pining after a poor correspondent—it gets harder and harder to be chill and take no action. But be chill you must. Nobody has ever received three novel-length texts about how they should be ASHAMED of themselves for being such a TEASE and thought, “Huh, that guy really showed me myself. Better respond.” But they havescreenshotted those texts and sent them to all their friends with the caption, “If I get murdered soon, it was this guy.”

Rarely Okay: The “Where Have You Gone?” Triple Text

If you sent her a text a few days ago and didn’t hear back, and then you sent her another text yesterday and didn’t hear back, don’t send a third text today. Every text you send from this point on will just make her feel harassed. The best dating advice anyone has ever given comes from Justin Long in He’s Just Not That into You: “The rule is this: If a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to call you.” It’s true of women too. She didn’t fall ill, her grandmother didn’t die, she didn’t lose her phone, and she didn’t forget about you. (If she did forget about you, better to abort anyway.) You can still come back from two unrequited texts. Maybe down the road the textee will pause and think, “Huh, that guy seemed nice and interested, but not in a creepy desperate way. Maybe I’ll text him and see what happens.” But you can’t come back from three unrequited texts.

Sometimes Okay, Always Annoying: The Player Triple Text

The linguistic conventions of the player prohibit texting more than three words at a time, which is why I occasionally receive a string of texts that looks like this: “hi”/ “what’s up”/ “in your neighborhood.” While not offensive, per se, these texts do not make you look casual and aloof. They make you look like you couldn’t even take the time to compose a proper text with proper punctuation.

Usually Okay: The Banter Triple Text

If you really have a robust rapport with someone you’re dating, then by all means, send three texts in a row. Send five texts in a row, if they’re making the textee laugh. Just be cautious of banter burnout: It’s all fun and games until you’re lost in your “bit,” firing off multi-text jokes, and I’m bored of being your audience. (Again: “hahaha” means go, “haha” means stop.)

Always Okay: The Correction Triple Text

Sending a third text to correct a typo in a previous text is acceptable. The disgrace of an uncorrected typo always outweighs the disgrace of a triple text.

Always Adorable: The Flirty Sexy Haiku Triple Text

When you’re text-flirting,

If you’re not sure what to send,

Send a cute haiku.