Singer Cassie is dating celebrity personal trainer Alex Fine, according to a report.
Category Archives: Dating Advice
Is her ticking biological clock sabotaging her relationships? – Detroit Free Press
Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Dear Carolyn: How do women in their mid-30s, who hope for biological children, date without obsessing over looming questions about the future? I have seen two relationships crash and burn because my partners rightly suspected I was trying to suss out where things were headed – and disappointed with how long it was taking.
I don’t have the money for egg-freezing; realistically, if I don’t find the father of my children within the next couple of years, I will hit my “expiration date.” How do I NOT carry that knowledge into my dates?
– Dating Without Deadlines
This answer is almost impossible for me to write without sounding dismissive, so my apologies.
You stop it with “the father of my children.” Because that’s living almost entirely in a future that isn’t entirely in your power to get – and so puts you in the awkward spot of being at the mercy of others.
It is this awkwardness that likely pushed away the men you were dating. There’s nothing wrong with you, or with wanting what you want, but you weren’t in the present with these partners. You weren’t with them as people – you were in your vision of what could be and what they could give you. And there is something wrong with that. It’s not fair to them. Imagine if they dated you transactionally – say, for sex or connections or security.
Read more:
Or frame it this way: If a boyfriend told you he wouldn’t or couldn’t have kids, would you stay with him? Just for his companionship?
This is a fraught question, obviously, because the kid question breaks people up all the time. But that doesn’t change the baseline message: “I like you, even love you, but you alone aren’t enough.” It hurts.
Since living and dating for kids has been self-defeating, I urge you to decide instead to live fully in the life you have. As it is. You and all your wonderful gifts. And in the company of men you enjoy for their company alone.
Conveniently: No matter the context, embracing what you have has an uncanny way of improving whatever comes next.
Re: Deadlines: I can tell you it was a tremendous relief to reach 40, without having married or having had children, and to realize I was still here, with much to be grateful for, despite having this “worst fear” realized. So, not only try living in the present, but also in that future you dread, too. You may find it has much to recommend it as well.
– Relieved
Well said, thank you.
Re: Deadlines: I wasted years not asserting what I wanted for fear of scaring a guy off. By the time I met my husband, I was very upfront about my plans. I was no longer afraid of anyone walking away. Now I’m married and pregnant at 39. Don’t be afraid to be honest.
– No Longer Afraid
Re: Deadlines: Or go ahead and have your baby. I wrote to Carolyn years ago about picking a sperm donor and am happy to say I have a beautiful baby boy. I’m also dating. There’s less time for it, but I don’t have to suss out anyone’s intentions. It’s the best idea I ever had.
– Anonymous
Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.
Read or Share this story: https://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2019/01/01/fertility-dating/2415501002/
How To Get A Guy To Like You Without Playing Dating Mind Games | Diane Strachowski, Ed.D – YourTango
You can win his heart without silly games.
Figuring out how to get a guy to like you can be exhausting when you’re playing games. You may want to find true love, but have no idea how to make him want you or court you the way you think he should.
Some women report feeling like they’re stuck in the role of chasing men just to gain even a little interest and attention. What used to be seen affectionately as a game of cat and mouse now feels more like two people playing chicken.
Both men and women expect the other to take the lead and show their hand while keeping their own cards close to the vest. Neither person invests much energy, so potentially deep connections are missed.
No one is clear who’s chasing whom in the quest to find true love.
It used to be that a man pursued a woman he was romantically interested in, but in today’s society, with easy access to single men and women on social media and dating apps, many are faced with a so-called paradox of choice.
As explained in Barry Schwartz’ book The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, “choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, anxiety, and perpetual stress.”
In the dating arena, the paradox you face is that with more options, you may be less likely to choose just one person, thinking to yourself, “Why should I settle when a better partner might be only one swipe away?’
People’s expectations have, indeed, also gotten higher, though having high expectations for a mate are not new.
Women who grew up watching Disney movies and romantic films like The Notebook expect men to pursue them gallantly. In their mind, if a man wants to be with them, he will slay a dragon, build them a house, and write them a letter every single day.
Chasing men is not most women’s idea of the role they want to play, nor is it what they think romance looks like.
But what happens when reality doesn’t match the fantasy?
In today’s more casual society, men are less likely to wine and dine a woman they’re interested in.
It’s not even called dating anymore. The new term ‘hanging out’ describes getting to know a person in a less formal way.
With the loss of formal courtship, there’s much more ambiguity in the pursuit of true love. You start wondering, “Do I dress up to hang out? Does he pay for my Starbucks? How will I know he is romantically interested in me if he doesn’t pursue me?”
While the process feels more casual, the truth is that people do still fall in love. The difference is that the courtship process doesn’t begin until after two people catch those “loving feelings”.
Two people fall in love, and then they decide to court each other.
It’s that subtle, yet not so subtle change that has so many people confused. Traditional relationships are a thing of the past. Men want to feel desired and cherished as much as women do. Men have been outspoken about feeling like they are wasting time pursuing women who only want friendship.
The research on what makes for successful and happy marriages and long-term relationships shows that couples who share responsibilities more equally tend to be happier than those that don’t. This equality translates to most aspects of daily life, including household chores.
If ideal relationships thrive on more equal terms, this means that neither the man or woman should be chasing the other.
Both parties can find ways to connect, pursue, court and explore what’s possible with a potential mate.
So if you want to know how to make him want you, this means you need to both stop chasing men and quit playing chicken one you find the one.
Here are the 5 best tips and pieces of dating advice on how to get a guy to like you and notice you with seeming desperate or playing games in your search for true love.
1. Give him the green light
Look for red flags and men look for green lights. On a date, make sure you are giving a fair number of green lights. While you may think you are obvious, many men are sensitive to rejection.
Try to be warm and friendly if you are interested. Be direct and tell him you would like to see him again.
2. Ask why
Instead of asking what he does for a living or what he does in his free time, ask him why he does what he does and why he finds meaning and value in things.
You will find out so much more about his passion and values. First dates shouldn’t feel like an interview but rather an interesting exploration.
3. Stay calm
If you are too anxious; you will over-talk or shut down, try to be calm and excited.
Practice mindfulness meditation, exercise before your date, do deep breathing, and calm down first.
4. Be confident
Speak up about yourself and what you are looking for in a relationship with conviction. You can do this without overly boasting or bragging, but instead of talking about topics you feel positive, happy and strong about participating in.
And never forget, confidence is contagious and sexy. Time and again, men report that confident women are the most attractive to be around, and that’s a good thing.
5. Be vulnerable
Get personal and talk about what’s important to you. Don’t be afraid to say too much about yourself. When people share things that are personal you are more likely to feel closer to them.
On first dates, it was once the rule to stay away from controversial topics such as your ex, politics, or religion. While you should still avoid talking about your ex, go ahead and talk politics, religion and about your dreams.
Many people connect with potential love interests by having things in common and/or mutual life goals. A shared interest in a cause, or point of view can go a long way in conversation, giving you the opportunity to open up and practice the five steps above.
Remember that time is precious. Because of this, the first date matters.
If you don’t strike that proverbial cord with a date, your first meeting will certainly not lead to second ones if they are devoid of personal information.
At the end of an average date you think, “Sure, I would go out with them again,” but now you are also competing with new matches who may do a better job of engaging on a first date. That’s why it’s best to practice these five tips and learn from the process as you go.
The more you do something, the better you’ll get at it — and as a result, you’ll find true love at last.
In order to be memorable, you need to stand out in order to not get lost in the sea of vanilla options. You don’t have time to waste. What forms a bond between two people is connecting on mutual topics, even if the topics are similar things two people hate.
If you are looking for someone with shared values and interests, it’s going to be hard to find this without talking about meaningful topics. When you are vulnerable there is no mistake that you are interesting and interested. While everyone wants chemistry, it’s often more complex than mere attraction.
One of the biggest worries women have in letting go of the pursuit fantasy is that if a man doesn’t chase her at the start, he never will.
But is this true? No.
It’s often only the beginning of a relationship that is casual. As relationships become more serious over time and men catch feelings, it’s in their nature to want to provide, protect and to keep you. Men do still pursue women, but only after they know the feelings are mutual. A man wants to know that a connection is real and that he won’t be rejected. Once he does, he’ll feel free to invest.
The bottom line is chasing men or playing chicken doesn’t work. Dating is most fulfilling for both people when each person takes responsibility for their part in an authentic, vulnerable way.
If you’re interested in someone, tell them. And if you’re not interested, say that.
Good communication is less about the topics you choose to discuss and more about being comfortable in your own skin.
Now get focused and and make that special connection.
Diane Strachowski is a licensed psychologist, dating and relationship expert, author, and researcher with more than 20 years of clinical experience. For daily tips on love and relationships, follow her on Instagram or visit her website.
This article was originally published at Secure in Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.
How They Met: “I Drank a Bit Too Much, and Blew a Raspberry On Her Face” – Washingtonian
For their wedding Melissa wore an Oleg Cassini gown while Jill wore a custom suit from Bindle & Keep.
It was the spring of 2014, and Jill Tighe was feeling grumpy and tired—she was performing a 24-hour “play-in-a-day” fundraiser for a local DC theater company and she hadn’t had enough coffee that morning. Jill had been cast in the whirlwind production alongside Melissa Hmelnicky, and though the two had just met, they were now playing sisters. Neither Melissa nor Jill were professional actresses—Melissa worked as a marketing manager at NPR while Jill was a grassroots specialist at the American Occupational Therapy Association—however, both liked to moonlight on the stage as their busy schedules allowed. When the play wrapped, the two parted as exhausted acquaintances. There was chemistry but, because both were dating other people, they shrugged it off, and that was that. Besides friending each other on Facebook, neither of them made a moves.
Eighteen months later, fate intervened to give them a nudge. Capital Fringe Festival was in full swing and it was a warm, beautiful night at the Logan Fringe Arts Space. The venue was packed, and Melissa and Jill were both performing. At that point Melissa was single, so when she bumped into Jill she was thrilled. They chatted for a while, but Jill had come with someone she was casually dating. Gradually, they began to mix and mingle with other friends.
Later that evening, in the midst of the festivities and after the prosecco had long-since started flowing, Jill approached Melissa out of the blue. She leaned in and pulled Melissa’s face close to hers.
“Okay,” thought Melissa, “She’s going to kiss me… I’m good with that!”
The kiss never came. Instead, Jill stunned Melissa by blowing a big raspberry on her cheek. She finished the stunt cackling and said “You thought I was going to kiss you, didn’t you?” And with that, Jill disappeared back into the party.
“She was glowing. The whole world seemed to revolve around her. The only thing I could do was resort to schoolyard flirting tactics” says Jill. “So I drank a bit too much, and blew a giant raspberry on her face. Her shocked silence is something that I will never forget.”
But the gag had worked. For her part, Melissa was smitten.
“Something in me kept saying ‘pay attention to her, she is important’” says Melissa. “I like to think that my soul simply recognized hers.”
The rest of the summer they continued bumping into one another at various theater groups, becoming more and more friendly. When Melissa realized Jill was using online apps to date, she invited her to a small joke-y support group she had made on Facebook, the “Ladies App Dating Support” or LADS where friends exchanged dating advice and swapped stories. Soon enough, Jill and Melissa were having their own private conversations on the side in addition to the group chat. Still, they had never been on a date.
Finally, on Columbus Day of 2015 Melissa invited Jill over to make cupcakes and watch a movie. Once the two were finally alone together, the conversation flowed nonstop and they found themselves confessing feelings for one another. Melissa had to run to a rehearsal, but before she left they set up a second date. Their first date had fallen on a Monday. By the end of the week Melissa and Jill were dating exclusively.
“Jill lights up a room. You can’t help but notice her because she radiates joy and playfulness and possesses a kind of liberated bravery that draws you to her,” says Melissa, “She’s almost always the person who is having the most fun.. and wants you to have the most fun, too. ”
A little over a year later Melissa and Jill simultaneously planned a surprise proposal for one another—on the very same day. It was New Year’s Eve and the pair planned a trip to go ice skating. As Melissa was driving, she told Jill to put on a sleep mask as a blindfold because she had a surprise ahead. Instead of driving to the skating rink, she took Jill back to the Logan Fringe Arts Space bar where the head of Capital Fringe, Julianne Brienza, had reopened the space just for them. When Melissa finally proposed to Jill, Jill not only responded with a yes, but went back to the car and brought out a ring for Melissa—she had intended to propose later that day.
For their wedding, the two brides decided to throw an all-out celebration… on New Years Eve. The bash at Ceresville Mansion was rife with cocktails and confetti, as well as laughter from the brides’ closest friends and family. Melissa wore an Oleg Cassini gown while Jill wore a custom suit from Bindle & Keep.
Take a peek at the images below, courtesy of Bee Two Sweet Photography.
The Details
Photographer: Bee Two Sweet | Venue: Ceresville Mansion | Event Coordinator: Stephanie Lindsey at Ceresville Mansion | Crystal beaded bouquet, crystal corsages, and crystal and pearl boutonnieres came from Ky Kampfeld | Invitations: Wedding Paper Divas & Minted | Cake: Teresa Scrimenti of Bake and Banter | Hair Dresser: Isabel Duarte of Total Babe Hair | Makeup Artist: Kathy Schultz of Blend Makeup Artistry | Melissa’s Gown: Oleg Cassini from David’s Bridal, Rockville | Jill’s Suit: bespoke from Bindle & Keep, Brooklyn | Music/Entertainment: DJ Brennan Sullivan of Bialek’s Music | Transportation: On The Town Limousine | Rings: Brilliant Earth | Dress Alterations: Estee Livioco
Assistant Editor
Hayley is an Assistant Editor at Washingtonian Bride & Groom and Washingtonian. Previously she was the the Style Editor at The Local Palate, a Southern food culture magazine based out of Charleston, South Carolina. She currently resides in Bloomingdale. You can follow her on instagram @wandertaste.
Cassie 'is dating celebrity personal trainer Alex Fine' – IOL
Cassie. Picture: Instagram
The 32-year-old singer split from her long-time partner Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs earlier this year following their 11-year romance, and The Blast has now revealed the identity of the new man in her life.
Alex, 25, is one of the best-known personal trainers in the entertainment business, with his client list featuring the likes of Jennifer Aniston and Kelly Ripa.
Alex’s health tips have also helped him to gain an impressive following on Instagram, where he posts some of his dietary secrets.
Cassie recently posed for a kiss with her new boyfriend for an Instagram snap, but until now, his identity has remained a mystery.
Meanwhile, Diddy admitted prior to their split, that he was deeply in love with Cassie.
The chart-topping rap star claimed Cassie was the true love of his life during an interview in 2017.
He shared: “I’m in love now. When a record comes on, the way she moves.
“When I look at her, the way she smiles. The way I see her look at me sometimes, when I wake up and she’s already awake.”
Diddy – who has kids Quincy, 27, Justin, 25, Christian, 20, and 12-year-olds Jessie, D’Lila, and Chance from past relationships – also revealed he was open to the idea of having children with the ‘Me & U’ hitmaker.
Speaking earlier this year about their relationship, he said: “Without a doubt, I love children.
“I could go to eight without a problem. Can’t stop, won’t stop. Whatever is supposed to happen in the future is going to happen, but that’s something that I want.”
