Relationships Talk

When Liron Shapira was in his 20s, he relied on dating advice from one of his best friends. He really needed help with online dating.

“I would be looking at the blank wall, thinking like, ‘I have nothing to say. How could I possibly say anything interesting?'” Shapira remembers.

His friend would explain to him “there’s actually a way to have a natural, funny conversation inside online dating.”

Shapira and his friend, Lior Gotesman, realized there were probably plenty of people out there who needed similar help — whether it was getting over the anxieties of dating or working through issues in existing relationships.

The entrepreneurs launched Relationship Hero two years ago to do just that — provide on-demand coaching for anyone looking for dating or relationship advice. The Y Combinator-backed startup now has 70 full-time relationship coaches on staff and on Friday, announced it raised a $2 million seed round led by Foundation Capital, Village Global, and Shrug Capital.

“We’re one of those companies that is finding a market that was hiding in plain sight,” Shapira told Business Insider in a recent interview. “We’re all going to our friends for relationship advice, but where is the equivalent company for that?”

Don’t call it therapy

So what does a relationship coach actually do?

The coaches help customers with a mix of dating and relationship advice — from sending an opening one-liner on Tinder to composing a heartfelt email to an ex. Customers range from 18 to 70-years-old and its demographic is split almost exactly even between females and males, according to Shapira.

Users can call, text, or chat a Relationship Hero coach at any time of the day and expect an immediate response. Fees for coaching vary, but the average rate is around $90 per hour.

Coaches all must go through the same intensive training program, but not all have a background in psychology. One coach, for example, was a former accountant.

There’s been some pushback by professional therapists who say people should be going to them for relationship advice, Shapira acknowledges. But he doesn’t think traditional therapy is the answer.

“If you go to a therapist, they’re going to have you focus on yourself — focus internally on your emotions, your own mental state,” he says. “And the problem is that relationships are actually very external. It’s all about getting the results you want with your partner and with the outside world. And it’s a totally different skillset.”

Working at Relationship Hero

There are 75 employees at Relationship Hero, and 70 of them are coaches.

“We’re basically a team of coaches, with a little bit of overhead,” Shapira explains. He says with the company’s 20% month-over-month growth, it’s continually adding new coaches to its team.

Interestingly, these coaches are full-time employees of Relationship Hero, rather than contractors.

“It’s not a marketplace. We’re helping invent and ensure the quality of the coaching so we have to own that,” Shapira says. “The people who work for us, they’re really not independent contractors. We’re really strict how they go about the coaching.”

When it comes to where and when employees work however, Relationship Hero is very flexible. The company is entirely remote. Coaches live across the US and have flexible schedules which helps the company provide customers with coverage throughout the day.

“It’s really hard for people to find quality jobs in middle-America and places where the local economy isn’t doing that great. We’re offering people a job that’s full time, guaranteed, with a steady stream of clients,” Shapira tells us. “They also love the work because they get to help people. They can see that they’re putting families back together.”

As for Shapira, he’ll be putting the remote work model to the test next month when he leaves Silicon Valley and moves to upstate New York with his wife.

Shapira met his wife on Tinder three years ago, and thanks to the coaching of his friend and Relationship Hero co-founder, he was able to land a date.

“I met my wife on Tinder all thanks to Lior’s help!” Shapira explained. “Afterwards she told me she always flakes on guys, but somehow I convinced her to go on a date. It was a high stakes situation and the coaching was life changing.”

Dear Abby: I am a 17-year-old girl who has been in a long-distance relationship for two years. We’re still in high school and actively involved in sports and extracurricular activities. During the fall months I cheer, and in the winter months he plays basketball. Our schedules only really allow for texting and FaceTiming rather than going out. Although our time is spent communicating on the phone, I feel we have a strong connection, and I am devoted to him. However, my mom is concerned “because I’m not dating and taking advantage of opportunities that could come with dating someone closer.” She criticizes him nonstop and thinks he’s making excuses and avoiding a commitment. She’d like to see me going out and having fun with someone like most girls my age do. I don’t think he’s making excuses, and I don’t feel as though I’m missing out on any opportunities. This disagreement is causing an issue between my mom and me. I feel that he’s The One, but Mom is finding it challenging to accept this. I would love to hear your advice.

Far, but Close, in Michigan

Dear F. but C.: You may feel that this young man is “The One,” but your mother has a point. Please listen to her. Rather than sit home every night because you are devoted only to him, you should socialize and develop non-romantic relationships. It wouldn’t be betraying him. Most young people go out in groups, and that’s what you should be doing. This may be what your mother is trying to convey rather than saying he isn’t The One. Also, you and this young man have years of education to complete before you’ll be in a position to formalize your relationship. While you are doing that, both of you will meet new people and be offered opportunities that may broaden your horizons. Think about it.

Dear Abby: For the past two years, my husband, “Dennis,” has worked Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. He’s in a business where he doesn’t have to be the only one to work these holidays. He volunteers to do it because of the tips and holiday pay. When I walked into the office today, I saw a note he had written to his boss asking to work both holidays again. Years ago when my father was alive, he hosted Christmas Eve for our family. Then the tradition was handed down to me, and I proudly hosted them. Now that Dennis and I are together, our place is too small, so I asked my son to do it and he gladly agreed. My problem is, I will have to go to my son’s alone again for Christmas Eve, and my son and daughter-in-law feel insulted because Dennis won’t come for the holidays. How do I deal with this?

Husbandless for the Holidays, Again

Dear Husbandless: It appears you and Dennis have been married only a short time. Was he like this when you were dating? If the answer is no, it’s time to ask him if he intends to continue working holidays indefinitely. And when you do, let him know that his refusal to spend family time with your son and daughter-in-law hurts their feelings as well as yours. If that doesn’t convince him to compromise, you will have to explain to your son and his wife that Dennis prefers to work rather than attend holiday celebrations and to please not take it personally because it’s not personal.

If OCIs are speed dating, interview week is when you define the relationship.

You’ve already checked out each other’s profiles, swiped right and made small talk over coffee. You liked them and they liked you, at least enough to go on a second date. You stressed about what to wear and rehearsed amusing anecdotes to fill potential awkward pauses. Over the past little while, you grabbed dinner, got invited back to their apartment, met some of their friends. And, of course, you dissected every facial expression and phone call, trying to gauge their interest.

Maybe you were playing the field and getting to know a few firms at the same time. Power to you. But then things started to get more serious. Maybe you realized you just weren’t clicking with one firm and ended things so you could concentrate on your other suitors. Maybe you resolutely dropped the “first choice” bomb over a Tuesday breakfast or maybe you kept coy and told every firm you could definitely see yourselves together one day.