Relationships Talk

Planning the perfect proposal can often feel as stressful as planning an entire wedding. A proposal is a moment that both you and your future fiancé have dreamt of for a very long time. Some people will hint about how they’d like to be proposed to and others will cross their fingers and pray to the universe that their partner can read their mind and do it just like they always imagined.

If you’re in the planning stages of the proposal and deciding what you should do, it’s also important to take mental note of all of the things you shouldn’t do when popping the question. Make sure you double check that you remember these 8 big marriage proposal mistakes so they don’t happen during your memorable engagement moment.

1. Skipping a Game Plan

If your proposal game plan is to just wing it, it might be time to reconsider. Popping the question should have some thought behind it. You may be setting yourself up for unwanted tears from your partner or a super awkward moment that sets both you and your partner up for feeling uncomfortable. Spend time thinking through how you want to propose, where you want to do it, and of course, what you will say.

2. Asking for too Much Advice

But be careful to not plan too much. It might be tempting to want to ask each and every friend and family member of your partner for their advice in how you should propose. You’ll be left with a handful of opinions and a massive headache trying to figure out what to do. Instead, ask a maximum of three people, and pick and chose parts from their responses when planning your proposal idea.

3. Overcomplicating the Whole Thing

Nerves fly high during any proposal and in order to make sure it goes smoothly, keep it relatively simple. If you’re incorporating a lot of different things or people (like a flash mob or a scavenger hunt) make sure that you practice beforehand so that it won’t be extra stressful making sure everything comes together in the moment.

4. Doing it the Very Wrong Way

Think about the kind of person your fiancé is when you’re planning the engagement. If they are naturally shy and introverted, you might not want to propose on a giant billboard or on the Jumbotron at a sports game. If they are the kind of person that likes romance and big gestures, you might not want to propose while you’re both in your pajamas sitting on the couch.

5. Forgetting the Ring

It might be obvious but in case it skips your mind, bring the engagement ring with you when you propose! Make sure you have it sized for your future fiancé and that you keep it in a safe spot so that when you’re ready to pop the question, you can easily have access to the ring.

6. Not Having It Documented

Before you propose, consider whether or not you want to hire a photographer or videographer (even if it’s a family member or friend with an iPhone) to be secretly capturing the engagement. Since it’s a moment that will only happen once and and you’ll probably both be nervous, it might be a good idea to invest in a service where they are able to get the best photos and videos of the moment.

7. Letting Your Nerves Get in the Way

Since you’ll find yourself extra nervous on the proposal day, make an effort to avoid showing those nerves to your partner. Try not to be around them when you’re getting anxious or else they might pick up on what’s about to happen and the surprise will be compromised.

See more: 7 Smart Things to Do When You Know a Proposal Is Coming

8. Leaving too Many Clues Around

If your partner is adamant about being surprised during the proposal, work overtime to make sure that you didn’t leave any clues around. Hide the ring in a safe spot that they won’t come across and make sure you don’t have conversations about the proposal with anyone who might leak that information to your partner.

Advice: Consider asking your beautiful, funny, married boss to write a positive letter of recommendation for you so you can find another job in retail — one that won’t make you ache every time you clock in.

DEAR ABBY: I’m 20 years old and have a job in retail. I have been working here for a few years and am in a higher position than most associates.

I’m in a relationship with my high school sweetheart, whom I truly love, but I am also crazy about my boss. She’s beautiful, funny, and to be honest, I jumped at my promotion so I could get closer to her.

I feel terrible because, while I love my girlfriend (she’s amazing), if I were given the chance to be with my boss, I’d have a hard time saying no. Thankfully, my boss is in a long-term marriage, so I know in my head I have no chance, but it hurts to go on every day thinking about her. I’d hate myself if I never told her how I feel about her. What should I do? — REALLY CONFUSED IN RETAIL

DEAR REALLY CONFUSED: Because you are excelling in this retail job, consider asking your beautiful, funny, married boss to write a positive letter of recommendation for you so you can find another job in retail — one that won’t make you ache every time you clock in.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been asked to be in his sister’s wedding. We said yes, mostly out of obligation.

There will be three married couples in the procession. I recently learned that my sister-in-law plans to have the couples split up and walk with others. I think it’s extremely weird and rude, so much so that we want to back out. Neither of us cares to be in a memory book with us posing with other people. It’s not that either of us is jealous; we have been married for 24 years. What do you think? — FEELING OBLIGATED IN THE EAST

DEAR FEELING OBLIGATED: I think that before you take offense and back out, you should ask your sister-in-law why she wants to do this. It could be something as simple as variations in the height of the participants and not weird or rude. Between you and me, unless you and your husband feel so strongly about this that you are willing to create a rift in the family, you should go along with his sister’s fantasy of her perfect day.

DEAR ABBY: I can’t do anything for my 70-something-year-old mom without her thanking me so much it makes me uncomfortable. A recent example: She moved to a new apartment, and I bought her some gift certificates as a housewarming gift. She thanked me profusely via email when she received them. She thanked me again over the phone when I next spoke with her. She’s thanked me at least half a dozen more times — each time she uses one of them.

When my sister and I paid for a trip for her, she bought us expensive gifts as thank-yous. The gifts cost far more than she could afford (and unfortunately, in my case, was something I’d never use), which kind of negated the idea of us paying for the trip.

I know Mom means well. Should I say or do anything, or just let it be? — THANKS-FULL SON IN SEATTLE

DEAR SON: If you say something, you risk embarrassing your mother or, worse, hurting her feelings. I vote for just letting it be.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

The dating world can be a scary place sometimes, which is why it’s nice to get a little guidance every once in a while. But what if that advice was coming from one of the biggest names in the music industry? One lucky Tinder user just experienced that firsthand. As part of a new video for Tinder’s “Swipe Sessions,” Jennifer Lopez offered dating advice to a Tinder user, Brooke, in the hopes of helping her to find a perfect match. Lopez, who is currently dating former Yankees player Alex Rodriguez, does her best to provide helpful, constructive tips to Brooke throughout the clip and it will definitely give all rom-com lovers flashbacks to Lopez’s character, Mary Fiore, in The Wedding Planner.

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie (do any of you really exist out there?) then here’s a brief summer: Mary is one of the best wedding planners in the business, though it leaves her very little time to focus on her own love life. That all changes when she meets Steve (played by Matthew McConaughey). The only problem is, he turns out to be the groom for one of the weddings she’s planning. In the film, Lopez isn’t exactly an expert on true love and relationships, but she is a hopeless romantic, and her character always seems to know the right thing to do when it comes to following her heart. Apart from Selena, it’s definitely one of the best roles of Lopez’s acting career, which is why it was so great to see her back to fixing other people’s love lives.

Right off the bat, the “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” singer suggested that Brooke make a few pivotal changes to her dating profile and provided guidance on the type of man that Brooke should be on the lookout for. “Guys, until they’re 33, are really useless,” Lopez remarked while browsing through the matches shown on Brooke’s phone. She also tried to convince Brooke that wood-chopping skills aren’t really all that necessary in a relationship — or at the very least shouldn’t be all that high up on the priority list.

The best part, though, came about midway through the conversation after Brooke swiped right on a possible match. In order to get a better handle on the type of person this guy was, Lopez is shown telling Brooke exactly what to say to him, which instantly brought back memories of when her character in The Wedding Planner fed the best man his wedding toast speech at the start of the film.

The scene itself doesn’t appear to be online (though if you own the film, might as well just go back and watch the whole thing in its entirety), but here’s a little snippet of what she whispers into her headset for the best man to say in The Wedding Planner:

“May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, enough friends to give you comfort, enough determination to make each day a better day then yesterday.”

Of course, in real life, Lopez didn’t go so far as to start planning Brooke’s wedding, though the topic of marriage and nuptials did come up near the very end of the video. Brooke even suggested that Lopez perform at any future wedding that she has, but the singer declined and jokingly stated that it would be “way too expensive.” But hey, you can’t blame a girl for trying, right?

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Basically, the main takeaway from this all should be that Lopez deserves a talk show ASAP where she gives out random dating advice to various people each week. Just based on this one clip, her tips are pure gold and are sure to help others find themselves in long-lasting relationships. It may not be quite as good as an actual Wedding Planner sequel, but it’s definitely the next best thing.

You haven’t heard the last of Audrey Roloff! Shortly after the reality star and her hubby Jeremy Roloff announced they were leaving Little People, Big World, she hinted at what her next business venture would be. The red-haired beauty seemingly revealed she might be starting a podcast and fans are psyched about the possibility of listening to her on a regular basis.

“Please make a podcast. It would be amazing @AudreyRoloff. We’ll miss ya’ll on the show,” one person commented. The mother-of-one sent fans into a frenzy when she coyly replied, “🤫🤫🤫.” After appearing on the hit TLC reality show for so many years and authoring a successful marriage advice book with her hubby, Audrey has certainly built up a following. And of course, several of her fans are on board with her potential new passion.

“Oh my gosh, yes! Podcast, please,” one excited fan wrote, while another eager fan chimed in: “I second this!” Audrey and Jeremy broke the news about their future on LPBW on July 10, revealing they’re ready for the next chapter of their lives. “This past season was our last season of filming for Little People, Big World,” Audrey wrote via Instagram. “I’ve shared some pretty big life moments — getting engaged, our wedding day, the launch of @beating50, three moves, a remodel, finding out we were having a baby girl, and becoming a new mom!”

Audrey expressed her utmost gratitude by concluding her heartfelt most with the message: “I and so thankful for the encouragement, kindness, and support that each of you have shown to our family.” Luckily, fans will be treated to plenty of updates about Audrey, Jeremy, and their precious 10-month-old daughter Ember via social media. “Duhh, we aren’t going anywhere,” Audrey responded to a fan. “We’ll be here.” Thank goodness for that!

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Amy Roloff Shuts Down Rumors Daughter-in-Law Tori Is Pregnant With Baby No. 2