Rodin Banica/WWD/REX/Shutterstock
Category Archives: marriage advice
Amy Schumer deals with bugs, marriage and sex at Treasure Island Casino standup gig
The last time Amy Schumer performed standup comedy in the Twin Cities, it was the day Prince died. Talk about a challenging situation.
Schumer returned to the area Saturday night at Treasure Island Casino amphitheater in Welch, and she faced a different kind of challenge: Bugs.
As she stood outdoors under the lights on a humid night, she wondered out loud if she’d leave Minnesota with West Nile virus or Lyme disease.
Anushka Sharma has some useful advice for married couples
Anushka Sharma and Virat Kohli have a strong marriage for a reason.
Speaking at an event the actor explained how she and the cricketer find time for each other:
“We try to create a proper work-life balance. Both of us really love doing what we do professionally. Our priorities are very clear in life. But at the same time, we try and find time to do something together. We don’t take our professions or our career too seriously.”
While they are stars in their own fields and have fans galore, Anushka says that the two are grounded.
“We don’t draw our identity only from that,” she said. “We are very simple and like doing normal things. For the world, it is about our professions. But in reality, it is just normal. It is as normal as anyone would be in a relationship. We don’t see each other in terms of our profession.”
The lovebirds tied the knot in December last year.
After 7 moves for husband's career, she wants to retire on her terms
Hi, Carolyn: I have been married to my second husband for 24 years. We have a 16-year-old and I have two adult children.
I have moved seven times in 17 years for his job. He didn’t have to quit and take another job, but they were opportunities for him to climb the ladder in his career. I have had to pack up and start over seven times.
I feel alone! During those years, my siblings and parents died. My older children now have kids and live in our hometown on the East Coast. When our youngest graduates and goes to college, my husband wants to move to Houston where his siblings are. I want to go east and be close to the other kids. All these years I have missed so much of their lives, along with countless nieces, nephews and friends. I feel that life is getting too short and I don’t want to be a long-distance, part-time grandma. This is causing a lot of resentment. Any ideas?
– S.
Make your decision privately beforehand – would you rather live near family on your own, or in Houston with your husband? – then make your case to your husband accordingly. If it’s the former, you insist that this move be yours to decide, after moving seven times for his career – and if it’s the latter, then you ask that he agree to a move near your children in return for those past seven moves.
You have a good case either way. All couples do make their deals, and yours may well have been more complicated than you allow for here; maybe his career-chasing enabled you financially, for example, to focus on your children as you wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.
Read more:
But even accounting for such a tradeoff, the fact of seven optional, ladder-climbing moves, which you paid a high price for emotionally, says he got to act while you only reacted. Humans need some sense of lead authorship of their life stories. While supporting a partner can be a valid, honorable and satisfying first choice, these moves were clearly concessions for you, not plans.
I hope he doesn’t resist your reasonable request to the point that you have to spell this out – much less leave.
Dear Carolyn: I don’t like the woman I’ve become! I have a loving husband and two wonderful preteen daughters, who are flourishing. I, on the other hand, am not flourishing and it makes me feel ashamed.
After several moves with my husband’s job, we ended up in a small city where I couldn’t find work. I have a fledgling business that I can’t quite get off the ground (even though it has potential). I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I don’t feel connected to anything and I’ve become apathetic.
How do I change my attitude so that I can be the woman I want to be for my daughters?
– Not Flourishing
You are holding the perfect lens through which to view your problem – you just need to turn it around: think how you’d respond if your daughters asked you exactly what you’re asking me.
Surely you’d flag, “makes me feel ashamed.” Everyone – everyone – struggles at some life stage. So where’s the shame in being normal?
You’d also want them to talk to you, their dad, and/or someone more qualified to help them, right?
Next, you’d probably note the disconnect and apathy and urge them to see a doctor. Depression is the obvious concern, but other illnesses also can speak through our moods.
As these interventions play out, I’m guessing you’d suggest practical, concrete, baby steps toward being productive, both within their energy limits and toward some basic goals. Tending to their physical health. Cultivating social connections. Breaking down the business launch into daily, reachable goals.
I expect you’d also tell them, from experience, that relocating is hard, relocating multiple times is downright alienating, and the only formula for regrowing roots is self-knowledge, steady effort, and time.
Dear Carolyn: My kids just took a field trip, and I sent them along with some spending money. Kid 2 (younger) came back with a gift for the family – some candy – instead of spending it all on him/herself, which would have been fine with me. I want to talk to Kid 1 about what a kind and generous thing Kid 2 did but I DON’T want to rub Kid 2’s kindness in Kid 1’s face. I just want to prod Kid 1 into that kind of generosity.
Is there any way on earth I can pull this off? I’ve already profusely praised Kid 2 when Kid 1 was well out of earshot. But is there a good plan for Kid 1?
– Parent
“Hey, Kid 2 got us all candy on the field trip. Thanks, Kid 2. Anyone want some?”
That’s it. Don’t overthink your way into over-teaching – especially not a lesson you were, before this, perfectly content not to teach.
Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.
Read or Share this story: https://on.freep.com/2MDfLJL
Untangling Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin's Whirlwind Wedding Buzz
Are they or aren’t they? Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin have sparked wedding rumors in the past 24 hours after they were spotted inside the marriage bureau of a New York City courthouse on Thursday.
Baldwin has taken to social media to deny the speculation, tweeting that she’s “not married yet.” But a courthouse source tells E! News that the 24-year-old “Boyfriend” singer and the 21-year-old model arrived at around 4 p.m. and got married in a back room.
People broke the story on Friday, citing two sources, that Bieber and Baldwin married at the courthouse on Thursday, with one source close to the couple telling the outlet, “They went ahead and did it without listening to anyone.” While a religious source also told the outlet, “They’re going to have a big blowout, in front of God and everyone they love.”
According to TMZ, Bieber was crying inside the courthouse and said to Baldwin, “I can’t wait to marry you, baby.”
Another insider also told E! News on Friday that Bieber and Baldwin are legally married. The source also shared that the couple, who got engaged two months ago, “didn’t tell anyone they were doing it,” adding, “They are doing a separate ceremony out of the country with a few family members soon as well.”
“Justin and Hailey told friends and family they were going to get paperwork and inquire about a marriage license but decided to tie the knot right at the courthouse yesterday,” a third source tells E! News. “No one knew about their plan. They thought it would be better that way so no one would try and talk them out of it. They wanted it to be a special moment just between the two of them.”
The insider adds that Justin and Hailey both “had to go through a marriage counseling course through their church which was several sessions long before the marriage became official. They both agreed that they wanted the church to be heavily involved in the process and wanted to follow all of the protocols.”
“Everyone is very on board for the marriage and happy for them,” the source tells E! News, adding that Bieber’s manager Scooter Braun is also “happy” for the couple. “They are definitely still in the middle of planning a big ceremony for their family and friends”
In order to get married at the courthouse, Bieber and Baldwin had to complete a marriage license application, which is then reviewed by a City Clerk staff member, who also checks the identification of the couple getting married and collects the $35 fee. Once submitted to the court, a marriage license application is valid for up to 60 days and a marriage ceremony must be performed either there in the office or anywhere in New York State within that time frame in order for the couple to be eligible to receive a marriage certificate. In addition, a couple that has obtained a marriage license in New York must wait 24 hours before they can have a marriage ceremony unless they obtain a judicial waiver. It is unclear if Bieber and Baldwin had one or had submitted the required paperwork before Thursday.
Broadimage/Shutterstock
Back in July, shortly rekindling their romance, Bieber got down on one knee in a surprise proposal to Baldwin while on vacation in the Bahamas. “The proposal was a very happy moment and Hailey was taken off guard,” a source told E! News at the time. “Her face was in shock but you could tell they are both so in love.”
Shortly after news of their engagement broke, the “Baby” singer took to social media to confirm the exciting relationship update.
“Was gonna wait a while to say anything but word travels fast, listen plain and simple Hailey I am soooo in love with everything about you! So committed to spending my life getting to know every single part of you loving you patiently and kindLY. I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make,” he wrote. “My heart is COMPLETELY and FULLY YOURS and I will ALWAYS put you first! You are the love of my life Hailey Baldwin and I wouldn’t want to spend it with anybody else.”
Vasquez-Max Lopes / BACKGRID
While the couple received a lot of love on their engagement, there was, as expected, some negativity on social media about their relationship. But, Hailey recently told Australian magazine Stellar that she’s “beyond excited” about the engagement. When asked about the media attention surrounding their rekindled romance and how it’s impacted her, she shared, “I don’t think it’s affected me really. I have learned to just try my best to ignore the negativity at this time so that I can enjoy this season of my life.”
Earlier this month, ahead of New York Fashion Week, Hailey flew to Shanghai to walk in Tommy Hilfiger‘s TommyNow Icons show, where she proudly showed off her engagement ring on the runway. Days later, Hailey was back in New York City, where she attended John Elliot’s presentation with the “Baby” singer.
Just this week, Baldwin sat front row at Carolina Herrera’s New York Fashion Week show on Monday, where she was asked about comments her uncle, Alec Baldwin, recently made about her engagement. During an interview with etalk at the 2018 TIFF, Alec said, “People who get married young, and they are very young, I want them to just spend time with each other. Obviously, he in particular has this crazy superstar career.”
Alec has lived his life in the public eye for many years, so he knows all about trying to navigate fame and family.
“When you’re married… Like right now, I’m quite a bit older than both of them but I got married recently a few years ago,” Alec continued. “And my wife and I had four kids in four and a half years. We have a lot of little kids. The thing is, all the work I do now is based on my family.”
BACKGRID
He went on to share, “There’s movies I got offered where they say ‘Come leave town for five weeks. No we can’t travel your family with you, we don’t have that in the budget’. And I pass, because I don’t want to be away from my family. And I hope that they realize that! If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to be together. You gotta stay together.”
When asked about her uncle’s comments on Monday, Hailey—the daughter of Stephen Baldwin—told WWD, “I hadn’t heard this yet, so you’re actually the first telling me. But that sounds like very sound, solid advice. He’s just trying to look out for me.”
In response to his advice about putting family before work, Hailey replied, “It’s smart, and it’s important. You have to always put family above work, no matter what.”
While Hailey has been in attendance at several New York Fashion Week shows, she’s being selective about which shows she walks in. She explained to WWD, “I’ve tried to be really choosy with fashion week going forward, just because I want to have the time to spend being relaxed and being with family — and my fiancé.”
Don’t miss E! News every weeknight at 7 p.m., only on E!
