Category Archives: marriage advice
Alec Baldwin's relationship advice for Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber
Alec Baldwin has shared the secret to a successful marriage with Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber.
The ‘Beetlejuice’ star is so excited for his model niece – the daughter of his brother Stephen – now she is engaged to the ‘Sorry’ hitmaker but has urged the pair to always make time for each other and spend time together despite their “crazy superstar careers”.
He told etalk: “People who get married young – and they are very young – I want them to just spend time with each other. Obviously, [Justin] in particular has this crazy superstar career. When you’re married … like, right now, I’m quite a bit older than both of them, but I got married recently a few years ago. And my wife and I had four kids in four-and-a-half years. We have a lot of little kids.
“The thing is, all the work I do now is based on my family. There are movies I got offered where they say, ‘Come leave town for five weeks. No, we can’t travel your family with you, we don’t have that in the budget.’ And I pass because I don’t want to be away from my family. And I hope that they realise that. If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to be together. You gotta stay together.”
Justin decided he wanted to be with Hayley after taking a break from the spotlight.
A source shared previously: “Justin has always been in love with Hailey and is looking forward to being married. Justin has been in the spotlight for a long time, and his childhood was accelerated. After years of ups and downs, Justin took some time to evaluate everything in his life, took time off his tour [and] music and got to enjoy a more simple life. With that time, Justin knew he wanted to spend his time with Hailey and have a future with her. Wedding planning hasn’t really started other than talking about what the couple would like when they do tie the knot.”
Ask Amy: My wife can't stop crying since her ex died
DEAR AMY: My wife and I have been together since 2010. Our marriage has never been perfect, but we have managed to stay together. We’ve both been married before and have kids from our first marriages.
Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)
Last weekend, my wife’s ex-husband (father of her 14-year-old son) died — either from an overdose, or by suicide.
Instead of her son being distraught, he is taking the news well. His dad has not been in his life much, since the dad has been in prison multiple times.
My wife, however, is torn up over his death. She has said things such as, “I can’t believe he is gone; why would he do this to us…?” She has been crying practically nonstop.
This is taking a toll on our already challenging relationship. I feel as though she is still in love with him and is going to miss him.
I feel the opposite way about my ex-wife (mother of my kids). If she died, I would be throwing a huge party. I’d celebrate, not cry.
I can’t imagine anyone being this upset over someone they haven’t had a relationship with in 10 years. He has never paid child support, so there is no financial attachment.
I can’t help feeling that because she is so upset about this death, that maybe there was more going on between them over the years, during the time we’ve been together.
Am I wrong for thinking there is something wrong here?
WTF
DEAR WTF: Yes, there is something wrong here. With you.
Perhaps your wife is crying and carrying on because she is basically begging you to notice and to talk to her about her feelings. Not for you to tell her how to feel, or expound on how you would celebrate your ex’s death (that’s nice, by the way), but to comfort her, and ask her to describe her own emotions, even if you don’t understand or share them.
Maybe she would emote a little less if you emoted a little more — or at all. Yes, she should probably dial down her emotions, while you should dial up your own.
The person you should both be paying close attention to is this 14-year-old boy. Kids this age never express sadness or loss the way adults do. They suppress their emotions and feel anger, confusion, depression, guilt — and sometimes relief (and then guilt about their relief) when an absent and/or troubled parent is out of their life forever.
Your stepson also has to deal with a mother who is grieving, weeping and feeling victimized and abandoned — and a stepfather who has decided to be judgmental and jealous.
I suggest you keep your eye on the ball and pay very close attention to this teenager. He needs to feel supported by the two adults in his life. Right now, he seems to have no one.
DEAR AMY: I’m a young woman. “Adam” was recently hired where I work, and my general manager told me to train him.
Immediately there was a noticeable tension between us. Adam became extremely hostile after I corrected an action of his. He began to make derogatory statements to me and about me.
I walked away and pulled my manager to the side. He told Adam that his behavior was extremely inappropriate. Adam was still rude. The next time I worked with him, he made statements regarding some of my coworkers and me.
The environment at work has quickly deteriorated.
I am moving and leaving this job in a few weeks, but should I still sit down with my manager and tell him what is going on and how I feel about it?
Put-down Employee
DEAR EMPLOYEE: Yes, have this talk. Do not drop the ball, just because you are leaving. Document these incidents involving “Adam” and inform your manager. One person with bad chemistry or bad behavior can quickly poison the entire work environment. Warning the manager about this employee would be your parting gift.
DEAR AMY: As an occasional reader of your advice column it’s obvious to me that most of the problems you handle, even the complex ones, are easily solved with better communication.
If your troubled fans spent as much time talking to each other as writing to you, their problems would undoubtedly disappear almost as quickly as the stroke of their pen.
Deep Thinker
DEAR DEEP: I agree with you, but I’m conflicted, because people communicating with me instead of each other is basically the cornerstone of my business model.
You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or “like” her on Facebook.
Amy Dickinson: Husband resents wife's grief over ex's death
Dear Amy: My wife and I have been together since 2010. Our marriage has never been perfect, but we have managed to stay together. We’ve both been married before and have kids from our first marriages.
Last weekend, my wife’s ex-husband (father of her 14-year-old son) died — either from an overdose, or by suicide.
Instead of her son being distraught, he is taking the news well. His dad has not been in his life much, since the dad has been in prison multiple times.
My wife, however, is torn up over his death. She has said things such as, “I can’t believe he is gone; why would he do this to us …?” She has been crying practically nonstop.
This is taking a toll on our already challenging relationship. I feel as though she is still in love with him and is going to miss him.
I feel the opposite way about my ex-wife (mother of my kids). If she died, I would be throwing a huge party. I’d celebrate, not cry.
I can’t imagine anyone being this upset over someone they haven’t had a relationship with in 10 years. He has never paid child support, so there is no financial attachment.
I can’t help feeling that because she is so upset about this death, that maybe there was more going on between them over the years, during the time we’ve been together.
Am I wrong for thinking there is something wrong here? — WTF
Dear WTF: Yes, there is something wrong here. With you.
Perhaps your wife is crying and carrying on because she is basically begging you to notice and to talk to her about her feelings. Not for you to tell her how to feel, or expound on how you would celebrate your ex’s death (that’s nice, by the way), but to comfort her, and ask her to describe her own emotions, even if you don’t understand or share them.
Maybe she would emote a little less if you emoted a little more — or at all. Yes, she should probably dial down her emotions, while you should dial up your own.
The person you should both be paying close attention to is this 14-year-old boy. Kids this age never express sadness or loss the way adults do. They suppress their emotions and feel anger, confusion, depression, guilt — and sometimes relief (and then guilt about their relief) when an absent and/or troubled parent is out of their life forever.
You stepson also has to deal with a mother who is grieving, weeping and feeling victimized and abandoned — and a stepfather who has decided to be judgmental and jealous.
I suggest you keep your eye on the ball and pay very close attention to this teenager. He needs to feel supported by the two adults in his life. Right now, he seems to have no one.
Dear Amy: I’m a young woman. “Adam” was recently hired where I work, and my general manager told me to train him.
Immediately there was a noticeable tension between us. Adam became extremely hostile after I corrected an action of his. He began to make derogatory statements to me and about me.
I walked away and pulled my manager to the side. He told Adam that his behavior was extremely inappropriate. Adam was still rude. The next time I worked with him, he made statements regarding some of my coworkers and me.
The environment at work has quickly deteriorated.
I am moving and leaving this job in a few weeks, but should I still sit down with my manager and tell him what is going on and how I feel about it? — Put-down Employee
Dear Employee: Yes, have this talk. Do not drop the ball, just because you are leaving. Document these incidents involving “Adam” and inform your manager. One person with bad chemistry or bad behavior can quickly poison the entire work environment. Warning the manager about this employee would be your parting gift.
Dear Amy: As an occasional reader of your advice column it’s obvious to me that most of the problems you handle, even the complex ones, are easily solved with better communication.
If your troubled fans spent as much time talking to each other as writing to you, their problems would undoubtedly disappear almost as quickly as the stroke of their pen. — Deep Thinker
Dear Deep: I agree with you, but I’m conflicted, because people communicating with me instead of each other is basically the cornerstone of my business model.
Help for a snooping sister's marriage
Hi, Carolyn: I just got off the phone with my sister, who is married and has a 9-year-old daughter. Her husband has been having an emotional affair with his high school sweetheart. My sister knows because she has been going through his phone; apparently, he sends the sweetheart text messages and emails with lots of heart and flower emojis and has said that she (the sweetheart) is his “queen.” Ick.
My sister has a high-pressure job. She makes more money than her husband and is fiercely independent. She has always made work a priority, sometimes at the expense of her family. She realizes this and has started to try to be more present when she’s at home, realizing that her husband is probably feeling emasculated and in need of attention. She has a session scheduled with a counselor. Any other steps you can advise?
– Sib
For her, no (except to get out of his phone). She’s apparently doing the hard work she thinks she needs to do. I expect that will eventually have to include her telling him what she knows, but this is her trail to blaze, not mine.
If it were: I’d take exception to the “emasculated” line of reasoning. Money earned is (literally?) a paper-thin way to define masculinity. And everyone, not just the representatives of one gender, craves relevance, which comes in as many forms as there are people.
Plus, she is who she is. Playing a role to flatter his ego is not anyone’s long term solution. I hope.
Read more:
The part about attention, though, is as valid as it gets. Not being present in a relationship is lethal to it, no matter where it is you’ve misplaced your attention – be it on a high-powered career or baking bread from scratch all weekend for the 12 children you home-school during the week.
Or did you mean, any other steps for you? Not much there, either. Just listen to her and encourage her to be true to herself, no matter how she chooses to approach this. That’s the only way it’ll work.
Dear Carolyn: I have some new friends with two young children, both of whom I like a lot and who are always excited to see my husband and me when we get together with their family. We don’t have kids. Their mom, who is lovely, is from the South, as am I, and she always insists the kids call us “Miss and Mister [First name].” This is a convention of child-adult interaction that I’m very familiar with, but it’s one my parents always disliked and never enforced. I also dislike this convention and so I try to interact with the kids just using my first name, but their mom inevitably corrects them.
I know it’s up to parents to guide how their kids interact with adults, but is it reasonable for me to say to the parents, “Hey, I’d love for the kids to just call me by my first name,” or would I be overstepping?
– First name
That’s OK, but present it as a question: “Would that be OK with you?” And take no for an answer. When the kids are 18, you can ask them directly to call you what you like.
Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.
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