Category Archives: Marriage & Divorce
10 Pieces Of Marriage Advice You Must Follow You Want To Save It – YourTango
Not everyone has what it takes…
Troubled relationships and marriages aren’t easy to deal with, and in most cases, they don’t make it through the hard times. In most cases, couples don’t have what they need in order to fix all the damage that has been done.
Truthfully, if you don’t have the following 10 things, you probably should just cut your losses. Because when it comes to how to save a marriage, there are just some non-negotiables.
1. A partner who’s willing to work on the relationship with you
This is an important piece of marriage advice: If your partner is absolutely refusing to do anything about the problem, or if they tend to simply avoid the subject, no amount of work you do will fix the relationship. It takes both partners to make a relationship work. If they’re not willing to work on it, your only real option is to walk away.
RELATED: 6 Ways To Turn An ‘OK’ Relationship Into An Unbelievable One
2. A willingness to compromise
Relationships are all about compromising on wants and needs. If they aren’t willing to compromise, it’s basically the same thing as refusing to work on the relationship. In the end, it will result in a one-sided uphill battle that shouldn’t be fought.
3. A calm demeanor
Flying off the handle the moment a problem is about to be discussed is a surefire way to shut down any progress that you could have made. If you can’t both keep calm (for the most part) when talking things out, there’s no way to improve things.
4. Making the relationship the main priority
If you want to know how to save a marriage and fix things, you partnership is going to have to be your number one priority. This means that your in-laws, your jobs, your friends, your drinking, everything else will have to come in second. Not making your relationship a top priority will likely result in one or both of you taking one another for granted yet again.
5. A history of loyalty to one another
Serial cheaters aren’t going to change their ways. Don’t bother forgiving them.
6. Respect for one another
You can’t have love without respect. If you regularly treat one another with contempt, disdain, or a complete lack of respect, the relationship likely ended years ago.
7. An understanding that things take time
A relationship that has gone up in flames isn’t going to be fixed within a matter of days. These things take months, or even years. Both partners have to be aware that it will take a lot of time and effort to make things right again. If one wants things fixed immediately, it probably won’t work out.
8. Coupledom
In other words, you still need to hang out with one another and act as a team in order to make things work. If you’ve “uncoupled,” the marriage is typically D.O.A.
9. Communication
If you aren’t able to actually tell your partner what you want in an open, honest manner, you can’t really work on your problems. How can you improve things when you can’t even discuss things with your partner? Without being able to actually talk about everything, there’s not much you can do.
10. Hope
Hope is what keeps us all going. If you’ve lost hope in the relationship, it’s time to cut your losses and look for someone who can bring hope back into your life.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she’s not writing, she’s drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.
Carolyn Hax: When, exactly, does a marriage become irreconcilable? – seattlepi.com
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Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Photo: Dorioconnell, Getty Images
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Photo: Dorioconnell, Getty Images
Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared on April 14, 2004.
Dear Carolyn:
My wife feels unfulfilled in our relationship and wants to move on. We are great friends, and I’ll admit our marriage has gone flat.
She will seek counseling, but I feel she has already made up her mind.
I have put in writing the changes I need and want to make. I have addressed her complaints — that I am stubborn, un-alive, un-driven in my career, emotionally dependent on her and have too few friends — which are valid.
I’m seeing a career adviser, volunteering, contacting old friends, turning off the TV, buying her flowers and cooking her romantic dinners. Already I feel more confident and alive. I fear I am too late. When do marriages become irreconcilable? She is the love of my life and I am determined to earn her love and respect.
— D.C.
D.C., D.C. Earn your own love and respect.
To answer your question, a marriage becomes irreconcilable when one of you decides it is.
That’s apparently up to your wife now, and while everything you’ve undertaken to lobby her sounds healthy and productive, the fact that you’re lobbying her is anything but.
You’ve jumped from depending on your wife to be your entire purpose in life to making it your entire purpose in life to win back your wife. If you’re having trouble seeing the distinction, good, because I have no idea what it is myself. Maybe codependence updating its resume versus codependence eating a bag of chips.
You say you feel more confident and alive. Good stuff. That has to be what drives you now, and braces you.
Not only because your marriage might be beyond saving, but because its only hope is for you to save you — enough to become an entity unto yourself versus a satellite of your wife.
A close friend is in a wedding next weekend. She just found out the bride’s mom died and is to be buried on Monday.
They are going through with the wedding. I think that is incredibly tacky.
Five years ago, my brother got engaged to a great girl. Her family planned an elaborate engagement party at some real expense. My mom died, unexpectedly, six days before the party. It was horrible. The bride’s mother canceled the party and sent a letter that my dad held while he cried. It said that in light of the tragic death of the groom-to-be’s mother, this special but ultimately trivial party will not be held.
My dad and I still can’t believe how thoughtful his daughter-in-law’s parents were. Am I just weird about this, or do you agree a funeral should — um — stop a wedding?
— Vermont
I believe both hosts acted appropriately.
In the past case, the loss wasn’t suffered by the host, but instead by a guest of honor — so the host was, I agree, most gracious to cancel the event out of respect. In the present case, the loss was suffered by the host (and guest of honor) herself, and so it was up to her and her family entirely to decide how best to honor the mom’s memory. If it were my daughter whose wedding was six days after I died, then I’d want the joyous event to go on.
Carolyn Hax: When, exactly, does a marriage become irreconcilable? – Midland Daily News
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Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Photo: Dorioconnell, Getty Images
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Keep clicking or swiping through the slideshow for” Break Your Bad Relationship Habits”
Photo: Dorioconnell, Getty Images
Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared on April 14, 2004.
Dear Carolyn:
My wife feels unfulfilled in our relationship and wants to move on. We are great friends, and I’ll admit our marriage has gone flat.
She will seek counseling, but I feel she has already made up her mind.
I have put in writing the changes I need and want to make. I have addressed her complaints — that I am stubborn, un-alive, un-driven in my career, emotionally dependent on her and have too few friends — which are valid.
I’m seeing a career adviser, volunteering, contacting old friends, turning off the TV, buying her flowers and cooking her romantic dinners. Already I feel more confident and alive. I fear I am too late. When do marriages become irreconcilable? She is the love of my life and I am determined to earn her love and respect.
— D.C.
D.C., D.C. Earn your own love and respect.
To answer your question, a marriage becomes irreconcilable when one of you decides it is.
That’s apparently up to your wife now, and while everything you’ve undertaken to lobby her sounds healthy and productive, the fact that you’re lobbying her is anything but.
You’ve jumped from depending on your wife to be your entire purpose in life to making it your entire purpose in life to win back your wife. If you’re having trouble seeing the distinction, good, because I have no idea what it is myself. Maybe codependence updating its resume versus codependence eating a bag of chips.
You say you feel more confident and alive. Good stuff. That has to be what drives you now, and braces you.
Not only because your marriage might be beyond saving, but because its only hope is for you to save you — enough to become an entity unto yourself versus a satellite of your wife.
A close friend is in a wedding next weekend. She just found out the bride’s mom died and is to be buried on Monday.
They are going through with the wedding. I think that is incredibly tacky.
Five years ago, my brother got engaged to a great girl. Her family planned an elaborate engagement party at some real expense. My mom died, unexpectedly, six days before the party. It was horrible. The bride’s mother canceled the party and sent a letter that my dad held while he cried. It said that in light of the tragic death of the groom-to-be’s mother, this special but ultimately trivial party will not be held.
My dad and I still can’t believe how thoughtful his daughter-in-law’s parents were. Am I just weird about this, or do you agree a funeral should — um — stop a wedding?
— Vermont
I believe both hosts acted appropriately.
In the past case, the loss wasn’t suffered by the host, but instead by a guest of honor — so the host was, I agree, most gracious to cancel the event out of respect. In the present case, the loss was suffered by the host (and guest of honor) herself, and so it was up to her and her family entirely to decide how best to honor the mom’s memory. If it were my daughter whose wedding was six days after I died, then I’d want the joyous event to go on.
Hershey's Kisses Are Missing Their Iconic Tips, And Bakers Are FREAKING OUT – Delish.com
‘Twas the cry heard round the world as home bakers unwrapped their Hershey’s Kisses—perhaps to make the holiday staple that is a peanut butter blossom—and discovered their chocolate candies were missing their signature tips. Facebook group The Wedding Cookie Table first posted about the pandemic earlier this month, posting a picture of the classic Kisses and asking, “Do this year’s kisses look like this for you? Or are the tops broken off?” Nearly 100 comments flooded in agreeing that they did, in fact, have flat-topped Kisses this year.
“This is crazy!!! Looks like way more have broken tips than not!! Unacceptable Hershey!! 💩 😜😂😂😂😂,” one user wrote. Another chimed in, “I just opened a few bags today for cookies i’m gonna make next week… every single one is missing the tip.” “I have been curious since seeing the post about the kisses so I have been opening some kisses that i have received in favors and they do not have tips.😟 Yikes! What is Hershey doing???😲,” someone else responded.
If anyone thought the issue would stay in a small Facebook group during the biggest baking season of the year, they were sorely mistaken. Soon, people took to Twitter to corroborate the story.
Tragic, no?
The uproar was so loud, that Hershey’s finally acknowledged it. In a statement given to both The Washington Post and People, Hershey’s said, “We make more than 70 million Kisses a day here in Hershey, Pa., and we want each of them looking as great as they taste. The iconic, conical shape is one of the reasons families have loved Kisses for generations. We shape the tip on our classic, solid Milk and Dark Chocolate Kisses to create that iconic appearance. And while there has always been some variability in that process, we are working to improve the appearance because it’s as important to us as it is to our fans.”
Here’s hoping the travesty didn’t affect your holiday too poorly.
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