Relationships Talk

Like so many people, Shannon Bradley-Colleary was a child of divorce. While her parents were very loving, and the dust eventually settled, as an adult she found herself repeating some of the bad dating patterns and dysfunctions she saw as a child. After two painful relationships, she realized she didn’t know what she was doing and that she had to find a way to make better decisions for her future.

Shannon looked inside herself for the courage to change her life. In her 30s, her love life did a complete 180, and she met the man she would later marry. They have been together over 20 years now and have two teenage daughters.

As a happily married woman and mother, Shannon began writing about her perspective on love and discussing how her pain and disappointment was the rocket fuel behind her love story. This message resonated with readers, particularly single women, who needed advice and support.

Shannon’s blog, cheekily titled The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful (TWFKAB), quickly took off. When she saw her love advice columns were the most popular, she created a coaching site and ShannonColleary.com so she could reach readers who have struggled with love and relationships. This led to a thriving career as a certified coach, public speaker, bestselling author, and friendly blogger.

“I’m not a lofty person preaching from on high,” she said. “I don’t judge you because I’ve been where my clients are, and I know how hard it is to change. My goal is to help women and men choosing toxic love to forgive themselves, accept the reality of their situation, and ask for help. I certainly make suggestions based on what’s worked for me — but each client is different and needs to be met where they are.”

The Newsletter Discusses Dating With a Sense of Humor

Shannon writes as if she were sitting on the couch and sharing a glass of wine with her best friends in the world. She lets her guard down when talking about her experiences and expresses her takeaways clearly and with a fair amount of humor. Her blog is a place for contemplation as well as laughter.

Whether she’s writing about the tell-tale signs of love addiction or the benefits of midlife married sex, Shannon relates to her audience first and advises them second. Her confessional blogging style is compelling because it shows readers that change is possible and that they’re not the only ones facing these heartbreaking issues.

“You can never change someone else,” she said. “You have to change yourself first.”

The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful blog offers a humorous and mature take on love.

If you’ve perused the blog and want more Shannon-esque guidance, you can always sign up for the weekly newsletter to get upbeat and constructive dating advice sent to your inbox. Her newsletter currently has over 3,500 subscribers, and she said her open rate is encouragingly high. For Shannon, it’s all about demystifying dating for singles, especially women, who feel stuck, alone, and undervalued.

“If our paradigm for relationships is damaged, we can get confused,” she said. “A lot of people are pleasers, and they honestly don’t know how to recognize toxic behavior.”

That’s where Shannon comes in. Her down-to-earth yet sure-footed tone informs readers without talking down to them. She isn’t a self-proclaimed guru telling people how to live their lives. She’s a woman who has overcome her own obstacles and wants to do her part to help others enjoy similar triumphs.

“I feel very maternally protective of my audience,” she told us. “I want to give them a big hug, and I want them to feel safe because they know I’ve been where they’re at.”

Shannon has taken on private coaching clients in the past,and she said she could see herself offering group coaching sessions someday in the future. Right now, however, her focus is on writing with compassion, clarity, and charisma.

Sharing Experiences & Insights in a Self-Help Book

Once her blog took off, Shannon realized she could positively influence daters by telling them about her experiences falling into bad relationships and then falling in love. So that’s what she did. She wrote “She Dated the #Asshats But Married the Good Guy” as a memoir with actionable dating tips and love lessons in every chapter.

Shannon combines research and anecdote in her book about healthy relationships.

The main purpose of Shannon’s self-help book is to help readers identify their dating patterns and eradicate unhealthy habits. The book outlines 12 steps to take readers from toxic love to fulfilling relationships. She zeroes in on the insecurities and misconceptions that keep singles in bad relationships, and then challenges readers to change their perspectives so they can change their lives.

“My book resonates with people who want to change who they are in the dating world, psychologically and emotionally speaking,” she said.

Her book has been an inspiration to single men and women from all walks of life. In fact, 95% of its Amazon reviews give it five stars.

“It demystifies codependency,” said one satisfied customer. “I highly recommend this book to anyone preoccupied with changing or controlling their partners.”

Shannon’s talent for writing has driven her blogging career forward, establishing her as a relatable voice in the dating industry, but now, as luck would have it, she has returned to her original passion of screenwriting. A script she wrote years ago has been picked up by Warner Brothers, and she is currently dealing with that whirlwind of stress and excitement.

Looking to the future, Shannon said she sees a lot of opportunities on the horizon to tell a story, make people smile, and spread a positive message to the world. She plans to grow her online audience by developing do-it-yourself coursework and group sessions focused on empowerment and education.

A Hopeful Message Helps Singles Heal Broken Hearts

Shannon described her core audience as singles ranging in age from 25 to 50. They’re relationship-ready but just haven’t found that special person yet. Many readers are women who feel their biological clocks are ticking and want to accelerate the path to love. They show up to the blog looking for answers, comfort, and support, and Shannon offers a down-to-earth perspective on love, dating, and relationships. She encourages singles to follow their hearts and remember that dating should be fun.

After reading her blog, a lot of readers say they feel lighter and more optimistic. “Your blog is amazing!” wrote Inez Coffman in a comment. “I cannot stop laughing! You are hilarious and so true to heart.”

Ali Kaufman stumbled upon Shannon’s blog in 2012 and found it brightened her day. “Thank you for the laughs,” she wrote. “Love your style. Thanks for making our age look so G-damn good. Wishing you much success and happiness.”

Shannon’s blog has a section dedicated to issues involving love, sex, and dating.

Another TWFKAB reader gushed, “You have a way of putting into words what I don’t even realize I feel. Your honesty is refreshing.”

Honesty and positivity are very much essential to Shannon’s blogging style. She prides herself on speaking the truth with a wry smile and a dash of wit. She aims to be like a supportive BFF to singles out there.

“I’d love to leave a message of hope with them,” she said. “I want to tell singles who are struggling that the relationship you think isn’t possible is possible — it just requires work and commitment.”

Shannon Bradley-Colleary is a Relatable & Wise Mentor

Shannon’s fairy-tale ending didn’t fall in her lap. She had to do a lot of growth work to make it happen. She had to leave the wrong guys and commit to finding the right guy for her. Now she is happily married and can lend her experience to singles struggling to recognize what’s going wrong and how they can fix it.

As a blogger, author, and certified life coach, Shannon has inspired many modern singles to take a hard look at themselves and then take action to improve their love lives. Rather than portray herself as an all-knowing dating guru, Shannon tells her readers that she’s just like them and understands what they’re going through because she has gone through it too.

“As soon as you commit to your emotional, mental, and spiritual health, you can change your life,” she said. “And it doesn’t have to be my path. There are a lot of paths available once you start to look for them.”

When should you tell a potential partner that you have an STD?

“When first dating someone, most people want to put their best foot forward and disclose information about themselves over time and as comfort, trust and feelings develop,” sex therapist Diane Gleim said. “Depending on your preference and your feelings about the person you’re dating, you may want to lead with your STI status or not. Either approach is OK, but not disclosing your status as sexual activity becomes clearly imminent is not OK.”

In other words, you don’t need to have this conversation on your first date (unless you want to), but you should absolutely tell your partner before you become sexually intimate with them.

“It’s super important to make your STI status known prior to having sex with someone new,” sex educator Heather Alberda said. “Setting the stage for healthy communication starts on day one.”

Josh Robbins, an HIV/AIDS activist and spokesman for another dating website, DatingPositives.com, said that “all you can do is be safe. Being safe means taking personal responsibility and getting tested regularly in order to be up to date on the status of your health.”

“But it’s also about being honest about your sexual health, and the longer you wait to tell someone you’re positive, the harder it will be. Sadly, there may be people who are too afraid to admit they have a condition because they fear rejection. That fear comes from stigma, which can only be reduced by educating people and accepting as a society that STIs are very, very common.”

How should you tell a potential partner about your STD status?

It’s best to approach the conversation pragmatically and succinctly in a safe space with few distractions, Pierce said. “Give the person space and let them take a day or two to circle back with questions. And try your best not to take their response personally.”

And for people with STDs who want to skip the uncomfortable conversation — and get right to all the other wonderfully awkward aspects of dating — websites like PositiveSingles.com and DatingPositives.com offer a way to do just that. “When folks are initially diagnosed, they are absolutely petrified of disclosing to a new partner, if they even want to date at all, so sometimes, a dating site can really help,” Pierce explained.

Sex therapist Rachel Needle offers this advice: “First, make sure you tell them in person, face-to-face. Be prepared to educate your partner about the STI you have, including ways you can be sexually active and reduce the chance of transmission. If you feel comfortable, you can share with them how you contracted the STI and how, if at all, it has impacted you. Allow your partner to ask any questions they have and provide them with good resources to learn more on their own.’

What should someone expect when disclosing STD status?

“People who have long-term STIs always expect the worst when disclosing their status, but I want to challenge them to also only accept the best,” Pierce said. “While everyone isn’t going to be excited that you have an STI, a calm, kind and thoughtful response is what should happen when you disclose to a new person. If they are hysterical, cruel or disrespectful, then walk away.”

Robbins agreed. “I’ve found that refusing to pursue someone’s approval or acceptance of my chronic condition is the way to go,” he explained. “Attempting to validate myself through another person’s acceptance is pointless. Instead, I view being open about my journey as a privilege I extend to a potential partner. Their reaction will determine whether or not I want them to be in my life.”

The sex educator known as Laureen HD added that “potential partners tend to ask ‘what happened?’ after you disclose that you have an STI. And a common mistake — at least, I consider it a mistake — that people with herpes make is to feel that they owe potential partners an explanation on how they contracted herpes, as if contracting it from a cheating boyfriend versus from a one night stand makes a difference.

“I did an experiment where I used Tinder for a month, where the only thing my bio read was ‘I have genital herpes, swipe right only if you’re cool with it.’ I didn’t know what to expect, but my fearful self, brainwashed by the stigma, anticipated that there was going to be a lot of slut-shaming or rude interactions. But none of that happened. Most guys who swiped right were genuinely appreciative of how upfront I was about the information, and a few were even down to meet up and get to know each other in person. This taught me that we are more understanding of STIs in the privacy of our relationships than we are in public conversations.”

What should people without STDs know about dating someone who’s positive?

Many people may just assume that they’re negative and have not been tested for STDs. The experts I contacted point out that someone who knows that they have an STD is more likely to be aware of their sexual health. “People who are openly STD-positive are the people you should least fear,” Robbins said. “It’s the people who say they’re negative — but maybe they’re only assumed negative or maybe they’ve just never been tested — who actually pose the most risk.”

It’s also worth educating yourself about that risk. “A once-daily preventive medication called PrEP is now available for people who are in a relationship with someone who is HIV-positive,” Alberda said. “We also know now that if viral loads are undetectable, HIV is unable to be passed along to a partner.”

Sex therapist Michael Vigorito explained, “Studies show a decrease in HIV infections associated with two medical advances: taking a pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for those who are HIV negative and ‘undetectable = untransmittable’ for those who are positive. My clients share that these interventions decrease their anxieties about HIV infection or transmission and allow them to enjoy their sexuality more fully.”

It’s clear that having an STD doesn’t have to put an end to dating or sex. Just like safe sex, it’s one more topic you’ll want to discuss with a new partner before getting intimate.

“When I got diagnosed with genital herpes, which is an incurable STI, it felt like going back to teenage years and having to learn how to date all over again,” Laureen HD said. “How to make myself look approachable without coming off as easy or promiscuous, how to build self-confidence to put myself out there again, how to not fall for the first person who would fall for me in light of my disclosure, etc.

“After my first rejection, I remember thinking, ‘That’s it, I won’t ever be able to be in a relationship anymore. I won’t ever be a wife. I won’t ever be a mom.’ Those fears and insecurities even lead me to neglect letting some partners know of my diagnosis in a timely way. But a lot of trial and error later, I figured I would rather be rejected while having done the right thing than accepted but having neglected their consent. The emotional fragility never vanishes completely, even after getting many positive responses.”

Ian Kerner is a licensed couples therapist, writer and contributor on the topic of sex for CNN.

Tinder opened Pandora’s box when it launched in 2012 and introduced singles to its swiping matching system. Swiping empowered singles to judge one another based on a single photo and a few pieces of information, and they began swiping with impunity, safe in the knowledge that a new dating profile would always be waiting for them on Tinder. Today, this infamous dating app reaches 196 countries and sees over 1.4 billion swipes per day.

Once Tinder gained momentum in the dating scene, many dating platforms followed suit and used its engaging, photo-based matching system to attract savvy singles online. However, ImYours.co.uk, a U.K. dating site, has resisted the swiping trend and stuck to more traditional matchmaking features. Since it launched in 2000, I’m Yours has facilitated thousands of connections between sincere singles. The team’s focus is on fostering relationships, not creating a game of Hot or Not.

I’m Yours has been around long enough to understand what most singles want and how technology can help or hinder the dating experience. This longstanding dating company has watched swiping culture gain popularity in recent years and takes issue with the way it seems to devalue individual profiles and cheapen the dating scene.

The I’m Yours team argues that many singles burn out after days of reckless swiping lead to no real connections, and they need a more responsible system to support their long-term relationship goals. That’s what I’m Yours aims to provide.

“Believe it or not, there are some people who prefer the old-fashioned romantic love, which is based on getting to know someone, then going on a date, and then starting a long-lasting relationship,” said Evgeniy Garkaviy, spokesperson for I’m Yours. “These kind of singles are certainly not cared for in the dating app swiping culture.”

I’m Yours offers a quality-driven alternative to high-quality singles seeking a genuine partnership in the U.K. Its lengthy profiles and matching algorithm caters to individuals who are serious about getting into a relationship and are willing to put in the effort the make it happen.

A Proudly Old-Fashioned Platform Values Sincerity & Love

I’m Yours is a free dating site with intuitive match and search tools. The dev team designed it to be easy to navigate, even if you’re not a digital native.

Joining I’m Yours takes only a few seconds. The signup process is simple, requiring only a first name, birthday, and email address. From there, users can fill in their profiles with personal details and upload a profile picture, which is automatically reviewed by the site.

The detailed profile setup on I’m Yours helps singles get to know one another.

Once users feel satisfied with their profiles, they can search the database for a new connection. The search filters allow users to quickly narrow down the dating field to viable matches in their area.

I’m Yours has positioned itself as the dating site “for singles who still believe in romance,” and its interface reflects that idealist frame of mind. You won’t find any cheap appeals to singles’ baser instincts here. The language focuses on discovering common interests and revealing personality traits in a more organic and slow-paced way.

While many modern dating sites and apps push singles to hurry up and make a date already, I’m Yours encourages its users to take their time and weigh their options in a friendly atmosphere. On this old-fashioned dating site, relationship-minded singles make deliberate choices about who they like and what they want, so every date is the result of careful consideration, not a gut reaction.

“From the site’s sappy name to the retro design, it is unashamedly targeted at men and women looking for that old-fashioned romantic date,” Evgeniy said. “Not a quick swipe to the right or the left.”

It is free to register to join the site. Paid registration gives you access to full membership, with enables you to take your time to meet your life partner.

Pairing Up Thousands of British Couples Since 2000

Since its launch in 2000, I’m Yours has helped countless singles find loving partners. The dating site caters to straight men and women who want to meet people and fall in love, and its success stories include many married couples and happy families.

I’m Yours has found success by sticking to what works. It hasn’t changed much in the last decade or so, and that’s very much intentional. The dating site’s simple search tools give users a push in the right direction by allowing them to access thousands of profiles in its national database.

I’m Yours is a mobile-friendly dating platform designed to meet the needs of modern singles.

Thanks to I’m Yours, finding a compatible date prospect is as easy as clicking the search button. After singles have zeroed in on a potential match, they can seal the deal by sending a message. While I’m Yours is free to join, it isn’t free to message, so singles have to invest in the platform if they want to make a genuine connection.

While some dating platforms support a free-for-all system where anyone can send a message, I’m Yours maintains a more standard pay-to-chat system because it ups the caliber of conversations across the site by ensuring that only singles who are serious about meeting someone can communicate with one another.

I’m Yours assists singles throughout the dating process and offers an array of resources to get them in a relationship as quickly as possible. In addition to its premium dating service, I’m Yours offers an informational blog where a member of the team posts dating advice and highlights popular profiles. This blog teaches users the ins and outs of online dating so they can get a leg up on the competition and take positive action.

Whether it’s offering love advice or recommending matches, I’m Yours takes a personalized approach to online dating and has seen fantastic results on a local level.

“I’m Yours has been online for more than a decade,” said Evgeniy. “Since it has been online, it has brought thousands of men and women together. The site is still bringing discerning singles together.”

I’m Yours™ Strives to Be a Dating Site for Hopeless Romantics

Some dating companies, like I’m Yours, have recognized issues that can come with fast-paced, photo-based matching interfaces and have begun offering more quality-driven alternatives to Tinder and other dating apps.

“All Tinder does is feed that caveman part of a male brain,” said David Wygant, a Huffington Post Contributor. “The app is far from making love connections. It’s all about look connections!”

Fortunately, Tinder isn’t the only option for singles seeking a date, a friend, or a relationship. I’m Yours can deliver a grade-A dating experience where personality matters more than looks. This dating site has made inroads in the dating scene with its old-school solutions for new-school problems.

The I’m Yours team champions meeting people the old-fashioned way. This UK-based dating site does not support swiping features or a casual dating atmosphere. Instead, I’m Yours has taken a leading role as a relationship-oriented counterbalance to the Tinders of the world.