Category Archives: Relationships
Mum expresses horror after daughter starts dating former tutor – and gets called 'ridiculous'
A concerned mum sought advice after finding out her daughter had started a relationship with her former tutor.
But if she was looking for people to agree with her then she didn’t find it on Mumsnet, where she had posted a message about the “horrifying” situation.
The woman, speaking anonymously, explained how her 24-year-old daughter has just finished a masters course
She is now in a relationship with her tutor, who was her personal supervisor during the course and is 30 years old.
The mum is concerned her daughter has made the wrong decision (Image: Getty)
The mum wrote: “She keeps saying that nothing happened until after she got her results so nothing inappropriate, now they are both adults who just happened to meet each other etc etc…
“Even leaving aside the age gap, I think that is completely inappropriate for a tutor to even look at a student in that way, never mind to start dating them afterwards.
“There obviously must have been some flirtatious relationship between them when she was his student for them to start dating so soon after, which I think is horrifying.
“Is that unreasonable?”
If she was seeking reassurance, she’s going to be a bit disappointed as most of the people who replied to her plea for advice actually disagreed with her.
One mum even told her she was being “very unreasonable”, saying: “There is a 6 year age gap and nothing happened while he was her supervisor.
“They will have lots in common and like the same things so it sounds a great match!”
The daughter had started up a relationship with the older man (Image: Getty)
She was also accused of being “ridiculous” as her daughter is 24, not 14.
Most replied to tell her the age gap was minimal and she was a postgraduate, not an undergraduate, which made it slightly less weird.
One saw where she was coming from, writing: “It’s a bit creepy but they are close in age and he’s not her tutor any more so I think you have to let it be.”
Another wrote: “I’m not far off your daughter’s age and I’d be mortified if my mother thought she had a say in my love life!
“They are both adults and it’s barely an age gap. Don’t push her away by lecturing her on this.”
Other mums agreed that she might ruin her relationship with her daughter if she told her how she felt about it.
What advice would you give the mum? Let us know in the comments below.
What would Victoria Beckham do? We ask her advice on fashion, dating and more
As the founder of her eponymous label, style icon in her own right and this month’s Vogue cover star, Victoria Beckham is certainly someone we turn to for style advice. But what if we could ask Victoria Beckham anything we wished?
On the set of Vogue Australia’s 2018 November cover shoot, we quizzed Beckham on the big existential questions. Like, for example, how to look chic on a budget? Her answer? “You can mix vintage with high street. Just feel confident in whatever you’re wearing.” Beckham also weighed in on dating, advising who should pay for a date, as well as dressing for a wedding. Beckham shared with us her tips for practicing mindfulness too – her mantra? “Be mindful, be calm.”
As Beckham celebrates the 10th anniversary of her eponymous label, she’s proven she can do anything. You can too – if you only concentrate on staying grounded.
Watch the entire video below—directed by Sophia Li, filmed by Image Partnership—and ask yourself: What Would Victoria Beckham Do? #WWVBD.
House cleaner tries her hand at being an interior designer
Dear Abby:
I am wondering if anyone else has ever asked about this. I have had the same cleaning woman for three years. She does an excellent job and works hard. I got her the last six or seven of her clients. However, she has made little changes in the past when I’m not home.
For example, she reorganized a kitchen drawer and laundry room cabinet without first clearing it with me. Yesterday, when I walked into my laundry room, I noticed two pictures had been removed from the wall and rehung in my living room. Furthermore, she used three nails to hang them and left the first nail in the wall because she had made a mistake. I removed the pictures and returned them to their original spots. The three holes in the living room wall remain.
I live in an expensive penthouse. The holes are like bullet holes to me. This is not my apartment. I am a renter. In addition, I do not have the paint that matches, and I am not handy with spackle and painting.
My cleaning lady is very sensitive. When I asked her to let me know the night before if she needs to cancel, I almost lost her for good. I had to call repeatedly, and I’m walking on eggshells now.
— Renter in Nevada
Dear Renter: For your cleaning woman to have done what she did was wrong, and you need to explain it to her so nothing similar will happen again. Sometimes it isn’t what you say but how you say it. Hang onto your temper while telling her she has created a problem for you. It’s the truth, and she needs to hear it. If her response is to punish you by not showing up, you are well rid of the woman.
P.S. Visit a paint store or home improvement store and you may be pleasantly surprised to know that paint can be closely matched these days if you bring a small sample with you. They may also be able to recommend someone who can fix the wall for a reasonable price, or offer guidance on how you can fix it yourself.
Dear Abby: I’m a 58-year-old woman, divorced for three years. I was in a loveless marriage for almost 20 years. Over the last three years I have lost 45 pounds and have started going to online dating sites. I’m attractive, so I get lots of attention.
I post nice pictures of myself, nothing sexy. But the kind of attention I’m getting is not what I want. I’d like to meet a man and try to have a long-term relationship. Most of the men “say” that’s what they want, too. But to be honest about it, it’s not.
How can I come across as a woman who wants an LTR and not a “friends with benefits” or a hook-up? I don’t sleep around, so those things just are not my cup of tea. What do I do?
— Lost In The Online Dating World
Dear Lost: If someone wants to move your “relationship” to the next level before you are ready, you need to say you are not comfortable in moving so quickly. It’s straightforward and honest.
It occurs to me that there are many kinds of dating sites, and you may be on the wrong ones. If you have friends who are also in the dating world, ask them which they use. But if you have no luck there, consider meeting suitable men the old-fashioned way — by being introduced by people you know and who know you well.
If You Are the One's Meng Fei helps people find love on Chinese Dating with the Parents
Following the success of its first season, Chinese Dating with the Parents is back on Australian shores to provide entertaining, hilarious and sometimes “too close to home” scenarios of what it’s like when your parents show an unnecessarily high level of interest in your love life.
This season, the show has a new host, the ubiquitous Meng Fei, host of another hit Chinese dating show If You Are the One. His funny quips and sound advice have the bizarre ability to resound with both older and younger generations alike. And in each episode, hopefuls looking for love will enlist his help in order to be matched with a possible suitor.
However, there is a twist…
Instead of meeting their potential suitors face to face à la If You Are The One, the potential matches are locked away in another room. Here, they watch the events unfold from a television screen while their parents take center stage, posing questions to the candidates of the week and deciding whether they are worthy of proceeding through the rounds to eventually meet their children.
This show is insanely popular in mainland China and is sure to be a hit in Australia as well. Viewers will be able to take solace in the fact that no matter what the culture or language, you can always count on your parents to embarrass you in front of your crush.
Chinese Dating with the Parents makes for compelling viewing because the hidden-from-sight matches feel helpless in controlling how their parents view the potential suitors. Though they can communicate with their parents and Meng Fei by telephone, miscommunication still happens and the matches often watch wistfully as their parents let yet another viable candidate slip away.
Of course, the opposite scenario happens just as often, where the parents get along a little too well with the contestants. Nothing turns you off a potential suitor faster than learning that your slightly out-of-touch dad thinks “he’s a really cool guy”.
The show also highlights what modern day life in China is like – and dispels some long-held stereotypes. For example, it’s often thought that Asian parents are cold and distant, only wanting their children to study hard and become doctors, engineers, lawyers or a prized combination of all three. Happily, Chinese Dating with the Parents shows a more affectionate and playful side of Chinese parents not often captured for cultural outsiders to appreciate.
It also uplifting to see that all around the world, (China included), expectations for women are changing for the better: women are encouraged to have their own careers and successes with many of the suitors listing “independent women” as a favoured type.
We even see that the men on the show are recognising the need to be domesticated. In the first episode, a suitor who knows his way around the kitchen is deemed a keeper, which is a valuable lesson for everyone:
Find a partner who can cook. Looks fade, hunger doesn’t.
Chinese Dating with the Parents season two airs on Saturdays at 6:30pm, followed by If You Are the One, on SBS Viceland. Missed the first episode? Catch up at SBS On Demand:
