Relationships Talk

Figuring out what you’re looking for in a partner — and in a relationship — comes easier to some people than to others. Many of us will have an idea of our core values and beliefs as a person — things that are fundamentally a part of you — and those are definitely important to keep in mind when looking for a partner. “Core values are fundamental beliefs that help to guide and dictate a person’s behavior as well as inspire someone to commit to a particular action that is in line with certain life goals and fulfillment,” Katie Krimer, MA, LMSW, & Therapist, tells Bustle. “Core values as they pertain to a romantic relationship refer to those same fundamental beliefs that might make one feel safe, comfortable, inspired, passionate, and connected to their partner and within the relationship.”

But even though your core values might be obvious, they’re not the only things that you need to consider about potential partners. There’s also personality, hobbies, quirks, likes, dislikes — and so much more. But the more you learn about yourself, the more you’ll be able to know what you’re actually looking for in a relationship — and in a partner. Taking some online quizzes can give you a bit of good guidance. Some of them are serious, some are more silly, but they can still give you a general idea of your expectations of a partner and of a relationship — and what you should keep an eye out for.

Here are seven online quizzes that can help you figure out what you actually want in a relationship — because that’s the first step toward getting it.

Even at 29.5 years old, well past the days of camp and school breaks, I still find summer deeply intoxicating. The anticipation of it, the smell of it, the amount of adult beverages I justify consuming during it… June through August are the most intoxicating months of the year. And, subsequently, the most hungover (but there’s always a dip in the ocean to cure that). Dating during the summer is as intoxicating as the season, but it is also as likely to give you a big fat hangover.

Why is it so hard to date in the summer? The season has all of the ingredients for passionate evenings: clothes that strategically expose several body parts, warm night air prime for romantic walks, and weddings galore that beg for plus-ones. Why, then, does summer always seem to be the season of Sandy-and-Danny hookups, and never the season of, “Here’s my new boyfriend, fam!”

For a variety of reasons, it seems as if relationships tend to remain elusive until fall. It could just be that the straight dudes I like to hang around tend to be horny monster Chads who want to sleep with everyone during the summer months, or it could just be that summer, while relaxing, is sort of a hectic time. Next to the December holidays, summer could be the hardest time to go on regularly-scheduled dates. Or, you know, it could be that we’re all too sweaty to look cute. Below, here are some reasons why it’s so difficult to date with the intention of finding a serious relationship during the summer months.

Nicki Minaj is here to give you all the relationship advice you will ever need, and it all comes courtesy of her own life experiences. In a recent series of tweets promoting the release of her upcoming album, Queen, which hits stores on August 10, Minaj opened up in a big way about her romantic history and offered some unsolicited (but extremely relevant) advice for other women.

She started with some background about her own love life, which has been playing out in the public eye for years now.

#Queen, know your worth. I’ve been proposed to 3 times; asked by 4 boyfriends to have their child. Being emotionally, mentally, or physically abused just to crack a fake smile on the gram & show off a ring is not happiness. Being cheated on, humiliated, belittled… for the gram?”

Then came a quick transition from vulnerably sharing her own story to offering advice for other women.

“#Queen, know your worth. You were a Queen before him,” she wrote. “You’ll be a Queen after him. He can’t make or break you. Being equally yoked is what you should strive for. Spirituality is key. Once your spirit can soar on its own, then you are ready to “allow” him the privilege of ur time.”

Next, Minaj laid into men in general for their collective abuses of power in a tweet that epitomized a lot of the problems being addressed by #MeToo and #TimesUp.

“Having men treat you like dog shit because they’re famous or have money is the new era we live in. Word to the gram. Arguing w|other women while defending your abuser is the new era. Word to the gram. #Queen 8|10|18,” she wrote.

Finally, the singer turned her real talk to her current relationship, in which she describes a partner who wants to get her to settle down and have kids, even though she knows that’s not what’s right for her right now.

“New boy asked if I could have his baby in a year & a half. On God I said: ‘ain’t pushin out his babies til he buy da rock,'” she wrote. “Then I busted out laughing. He said: ‘I’ll put a ring on it. I’ll do anything it takes.’ Yet all I could think of his how much I love my new found freedom.”