Relationships Talk

Dating is complicated enough as it is, without having to deal with commitment issues.

Making the choice to date someone who’s not completely ready to commit to you is a brave decision to take, and we get it. There’s always the possibility of it working out in the long run, and sometimes the heart wants what it wants.

Understand what your partner’s main concerns are

If you’ve made the decision to continue seeing someone who’s uncomfortable with making a commitment, trying to understand where this stems from will help you deal with the situation rationally. Plus, once you have this conversation, you’ll truly be able to figure out the possibilities of where your ‘relationship’ could go. Also, realistically keep in mind that this has the possibility of not going anywhere, so don’t set yourself up for heartbreak.

This doesn’t mean you put your own relationship needs aside

Hey, nobody deserves to be in a relationship where they are left fighting for it alone. That being said, no one is judging you for wanting to see someone who is currently unwilling to commit, all we’re saying is, don’t ignore your own relationship needs. If your situation isn’t making you happy or loved or fulfilling whatever it is that you require from a relationship, then it’s not worth it.

Set a timeline for yourself

It’s only logical to keep a timeline for yourself when you’re in a relationship with a commitment-phobe. Don’t be too hasty though, give it a reasonable amount of time. And be firm with yourself that if he or she doesn’t come around to committing to you by that time, you will do what’s best for you, and let go.

That being said, don’t push that person either

In your enthusiasm and obvious eagerness to be with the person, don’t overwhelm them with too many plans or extra affection, or try to push them to do things they may not be open to yet. It could completely backfire on you with him or her completely retreating, and being even more reluctant and shut off than before. Instead, give them space and let them come to you. Also remember, subtle jibes or passive aggressive comments about the lack of commitment, even if you may not fully intend to be that way, could also lead to a negative reaction from your partner.

But none of this means you should give up being yourself

No relationship (especially a non-committal one) calls for you to give up on being who you truly are, giving up what you normally do and the people you hang out with. So while this may be an almost constant factor playing on your mind, going about your life as you normally would will hopefully keep you distracted. And it’ll give the person you’re seeing some space too, which in such a situation could be a good thing.

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