Relationships Talk

Making resolutions at the start of the year isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, but reflecting and truly thinking about what you want to achieve in the coming year is healthy. If you’re single and want to be dating, there are some good mantras to be subscribing to – and repeating them should make navigating the cess pit that is dating easier and more enjoyable.

According to research from dating expert Match, Sunday January 6 is the busiest day for online dating. With a third of singles also feeling pressured to find a partner in the new year, Match’s dating expert Kate Taylor shares seven super smart dating resolutions to make this year.

Finish the wrong relationships faster

If you meet someone and realise it’s not going to work out, don’t continue to date them. Staying in the wrong relationship for the “right” reasons (you’re not ready for marriage yet; the sex is unbelievable; maybe you’ll develop feelings later; maybe they’ll develop feelings later; you’re lonely; they’re really nice to you) only wastes time.

Everything you need to know about a relationship is knowable in the first three months. If it’s not working, move on, and give yourself the greatest chance of meeting the right person, faster.

Flirt with the whole world

Flirting is terrifying if you think of it as an act that’s deliberate and seductive, and one you only do for people you’re nuts about. In fact, flirting is simply, as Max O Reill described it, “attention without intention”.

Use it liberally. Smile, talk and laugh with new people (of every gender and age) as often as possible in your everyday life. No, you won’t look insane. Yes, you will boost your love life because you’ll be so used to interacting with strangers in a relaxed, easy-going manner, going on dates will become SO much easier.

Plus, being open and receptive to new people increases your chances of drawing the right people towards you. If you’re really shy, practice a bit every day until you can look an absolute stunner straight in the eye, smile and say “Hi.” At that point you have officially graduated from charm school.

Set a couple of deal breakers

Love isn’t like Ocado, you can’t create a shopping list of qualities that you must have in a partner. What a love-life shopping-list really gives you is a valid-sounding excuse to stay single forever. When I meet really fussy singles, I usually discover they’re feeling vulnerable and scared of getting hurt, and hiding it all behind a fortress of “must haves”.

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Instead, set one or two (OK, three if you’re really anxious about it) genuine deal breakers, and beyond that keep an open mind and an open diary. If someone with none of your dealbreakers asks you out, go. Give it a try. Just one date.

Keep your deal breakers practical and specific, too. “Must be gorgeous” isn’t a dealbreaker. “Must have a job” may be a deal breaker. “Wants to settle into commitment within five years and be open to children within seven” isn’t a deal breaker. Stop thinking like that, or you’ll turn every date into a job interview.

And mainly: be open-minded.

Go where your people go

Being surprised that you keep meeting flighty commitment-dodgers on free, fun dating apps is like being shocked that you can’t apply to be Secretary of State in your local job centre. When you’re looking for a certain type of person, put yourself in their shoes. What do they do at weekends? Where do they work? Where do they hang out?

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I’m not saying stalk them like a poacher, but you have to hang out places at weekends too, so why not go where you have a better chance of meeting your “type”? Or join dating sites targeting that type of person.

Ask different people for dating advice

People give wildly different dating advice, depending on their life stage, experience, outlook on life, etc. Find someone who is in the type of relationship you want, and use them as your oracle.

Look forward, not back

Go all Marie Kondo on your phone and social media accounts, and ruthlessly delete ANYONE who makes you emotionally wobbly; these could be exes, “perfect” couples, or anyone who makes you feel inferior.

Replace them with people who always make you feel amazing, or aspirational couples who tell the truth about their relationships. Michelle Obama is great — in Becoming, she talks openly about marriage counselling.

Make plans

Set fun, empowering plans for 2019 so your eyes are trained optimistically on the new horizon of your life, not on the smouldering romantic wasteland behind. Your single years are the perfect time to switch careers, move house, or travel, without having to take a partner’s feelings into consideration.

The sex resolutions everyone should make

There was a time not so long ago when women judged men based on civilized criteria like the height of their Flock of Seagulls haircuts, or whether they paid for popcorn at the drive-in. Now we have texting. With texting came a set of rules which, though subtle, still set the tone for your budding relationship: “Hahaha” is encouraging, but “haha” is dismissive, and ending a text with an ellipsis means you’re confused (“I don’t know what I want…”) but ending a text with twoellipses means you’re horny (“I don’t know what I want……”). It’s exhausting.

The rules surrounding the practice of sending three texts in a row are particularly convoluted. Some people see triple-texting as the third rail of flirting: Once you send three unanswered texts in a row, these naysayers naysay, it’s over. I think triple-texting can be cute. But especially in the early stages of dating someone, you should understand the triple-texting spectrum, presented below, before you deploy one.

Never Okay: The Please Respond Triple Text

There comes a time in every dalliance with a psycho when you haven’t been in touch for a while, and they decide to burn it all down with a multi-text diatribe about PEOPLE who don’t RESPOND to TEXTS in a timely MANNER. Often these text meltdowns are followed by some variation of “please respond.” We’ve all been tempted to send texts like this: Once you suspect you’re being ghosted—or even if you’re just pining after a poor correspondent—it gets harder and harder to be chill and take no action. But be chill you must. Nobody has ever received three novel-length texts about how they should be ASHAMED of themselves for being such a TEASE and thought, “Huh, that guy really showed me myself. Better respond.” But they havescreenshotted those texts and sent them to all their friends with the caption, “If I get murdered soon, it was this guy.”

Rarely Okay: The “Where Have You Gone?” Triple Text

If you sent her a text a few days ago and didn’t hear back, and then you sent her another text yesterday and didn’t hear back, don’t send a third text today. Every text you send from this point on will just make her feel harassed. The best dating advice anyone has ever given comes from Justin Long in He’s Just Not That into You: “The rule is this: If a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to call you.” It’s true of women too. She didn’t fall ill, her grandmother didn’t die, she didn’t lose her phone, and she didn’t forget about you. (If she did forget about you, better to abort anyway.) You can still come back from two unrequited texts. Maybe down the road the textee will pause and think, “Huh, that guy seemed nice and interested, but not in a creepy desperate way. Maybe I’ll text him and see what happens.” But you can’t come back from three unrequited texts.

Sometimes Okay, Always Annoying: The Player Triple Text

The linguistic conventions of the player prohibit texting more than three words at a time, which is why I occasionally receive a string of texts that looks like this: “hi”/ “what’s up”/ “in your neighborhood.” While not offensive, per se, these texts do not make you look casual and aloof. They make you look like you couldn’t even take the time to compose a proper text with proper punctuation.

Usually Okay: The Banter Triple Text

If you really have a robust rapport with someone you’re dating, then by all means, send three texts in a row. Send five texts in a row, if they’re making the textee laugh. Just be cautious of banter burnout: It’s all fun and games until you’re lost in your “bit,” firing off multi-text jokes, and I’m bored of being your audience. (Again: “hahaha” means go, “haha” means stop.)

Always Okay: The Correction Triple Text

Sending a third text to correct a typo in a previous text is acceptable. The disgrace of an uncorrected typo always outweighs the disgrace of a triple text.

Always Adorable: The Flirty Sexy Haiku Triple Text

When you’re text-flirting,

If you’re not sure what to send,

Send a cute haiku.

Another batch of seven famous singles are set to take on the dating scene once again in Celebs Go Dating.

And the best bit? They’re dating just us normal folk. Well, if you applied to be on the show and ‘date a celeb’ that is.

The sixth series of the E4 dating show hasn’t got an official start date just yet but it is set to be just around the corner.

It’s only been a few months since the last series aired and saw a change to the line-up.

Eden and Nadia are no longer agents on the E4 show (Image: Channel 4)

Dating expert Eden Blackman left the show before the start of the 2018 series and was replaced by American Paul Carrick Brunson who founded award-winning matchmaking business PCB Agency.

The 2019 series is also set to have a new look as Eden’s former co-star Nadia Essex also made a departure after being “suspended” by Channel 4.

Taking her place will be TV presenter and life coach Anna Williamson. The 37-year-old has appeared as an expert on a whole host of television shows including This Morning and Good Morning Britain.

Anna Williamson is a life coach as well as a TV presenter (Image: Daily Record)

But fans of the reality series do have something to look forward to as show favourite Tom Read Wilson will be back as the agencies receptionist and celebrity confidante.

So which celebrities are taking part this year? Here’s the full run down.

Chelsee Healey

Signed up to the agency is Manchester-born Chelsee Healey, who is now best known for being a part of the McQueen clan in the Channel 4 soap Hollyoaks.

Manchester-born Chelsee is one of the celebs taking part (Image: Eddy Gosht)

As well as Hollyoaks, Chelsee also played a major role in BBC school drama series Waterloo Road for six years where she played Janeece Bryant before moving on to Casualty.

Georgia Steel

We know she is loyal but how will Love Island star Georgia Steel handle the advice of the agents?

The 20-year-old became a massive talking point this summer when she appeared on the ITV2 dating show for using the word loyal more times than we have had hot dinners.

She did have a bit of a rocky road during the show after potential love interest Josh Denzel chose other contestant, and now girlfriend, Kaz Crossley to couple up with.

Georgia with ex Sam Bird (Image: Tabatha Fireman/Getty Images)

She left the show coupled up with 25-year-old Sam Bird but they ended their whirlwind romance with a public showdown.

Sam Thompson

No stranger to reality TV or the Celebs Go Dating agency for that matter is Sam Thompson as he returns for another crack at the world of dating.

The Made In Chelsea star took part in the programmes fourth series in 2018 but after returning to MIC, the star found romance with co-star Sophie Habboo which, you guessed it, didn’t quite work out.

Sam has already enlisted the agency’s help once (Image: Channel 4)

Sam said: “I’ve had a rough old run in the love stakes so I’m back to my spiritual home at the dating agency!

“It’s about time I got lucky in love, so let’s see if this time round I can find that special someone!”

Pete Wicks

The Only Way is Essex star Pete Wick is swapping one reality show for another as he joins the agency.

He was last seen dating TOWIE co-star Shelby Tribble before calling it quits after eight months.

TOWIE star Pete has already dated another celeb on the agency’s books (Image: Ian West/PA Wire)

The ITVBe show aired a dramatic row between the pair in which Shelby accused the 30-year-old of texting other girls behind her back.

Let’s see how he gets on under the agents watchful eyes.

Kerry Katona

Former Atomic Kitten star Kerry Katona is no stranger to a headline about her latest romantic link but now she will be looking for love on TV.

The mum-of-five was married to former Westlife Brian McFadden for four years between 2002 and 2006. She has since been married a further two times.

Kerry Katona was looking for singles to date on Celebs Go Dating (Image: Kerry Katona/Instagram)

Kerry has said about her part in the show: “I’ve never done anything like this before. If what I’ve been doing before hasn’t been working I may as well try something new!

“I’ve been on dating apps but to be honest they didn’t work. I’m so excited to be joining the agency and see who Anna and Paul set me up with!”

David Potts

Hoping to bring a bit of sunshine to proceedings is star of Ibiza Weekender, David Potts.

On the ITV2 show, Bolton-born David started as a receptionist before making his way through the ranks to become head rep where is in charge of hiring and firing.

David is aiming big going into Celebs Go Dating commenting that he hopes to be leaving engaged. No pressure agents.

Megan McKenna

The final star to join the series was former TOWIE star Megan McKenna and fans may remember her fiery relationship with Pete Wicks – could it be awkward?

Megan has made her name as a reality star after appearing on Ex on the Beach and Celebrity Big Brother.

Megan Mckenna is no stranger to reality TV (Image: Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images)

She is also a country singer and released her debut album Story Of Me at the end of 2018 following her ITVBe show, There’s Something About Megan, saw her head off to Nashville to kick start her music career.

By Brian A Jackson/shutterstock

by Julie Nealon | January 4, 2019

Here’s a list of dating jargon for newly single parent. The new year brings forth a lot of goals and resolutions, and perhaps getting back into the dating scene is one of yours. Dating as a single parent is exciting and slightly terrifying. Maybe it’s been ten years since you’ve sat across from a person who wasn’t your baby daddy or mama. In my experience, so far, it’s been a lot of fun getting to know new people. I’ve had my ego (and maybe some other things) stroked, and I’ve also had my heart and expectations smashed a little. It can be really tough to meet new people. It’s not like you’re going to meet the man of your dreams at the P.T.A. meeting, wouldn’t that make life so easy.

By v.scaperrotta/shutterstock

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List of Dating Jargon To Keep You Updated

You’ve got to put yourself out here and be receptive. Maybe you’ve met someone, and they’re being really slow to take the leap from texting to an actual face-to-face date. There I said it, the ‘D’ word. It seems to scare the sh*t out of some people. I’ve found myself avoiding it sometimes, texting with someone for weeks, but never actually meeting them. I don’t know if I’m scared, or if I’m just not that interested. There’s one thing that I’ve noticed myself doing, and I’ve got to stop. Bread-crumbing. Have you heard that word before? I’m not talking about cooking here.

I do something that I’ve heard my girlfriends cry about. Just yesterday, a friend of mine was telling me about her frustrations with a guy she’d been seeing. “He texts me every once in a while, just when I’m about to give up on him and move on I get a text.” I told her that he was breadcrumbing her. Paying her just the tiniest amount of attention, the bare minimum to keep her interested. He was dangling the proverbial carrot. The words had barely come out of my mouth when I realized I’ve been doing that. I’m not doing this to hurt someone purposefully. It’s selfishly for my own ego. Even though I’m not really interested in the guy, I’ll string him along so that I never have to feel alone. I’m that a**hole.

My friend was flabbergasted. How had she never heard of this term before and how in the h*ll did I know about it? It was then that I realized a lot of us are probably not up to date with all of the jargon. So I’ve compiled a list of dating jargon. The more you know!

AF

You probably know this one already. AF is an acronym for ‘as f*ck.’ Tired AF, single AF… you get it.

Breadcrumbing

Sending just enough flirty, yet non-committal messages to keep someone interested. (Hi, that’s me, don’t date me, I’m an a**hole and I’ll probably break your heart. (Sorry!)

Cuffing

Winter is coming! We are deep in the midst of cuffing season. This is when the eternal singleton pairs up in the winter months to avoid being lonely, then BAM the sun comes out, and you’re ghosted. (we’ll get to that one).

Deepliking

This one is a bit stalker-ish if you ask me. I think it’s probably wise to avoid this person. Deepliking is when you scroll through a person’s social media and like every single damn picture, even from ten years ago. Ew, don’t do that, it’s creepy AF.

E-Fit

Making sure that all of your posts and pictures on social media are perfectly perfect, only posting the good ones, you know, the pictures where you look hot AF at all times.

Ghosting

When a person you’ve been talking to or dating disappears, without explanation. Poof, they’re gone.

Haunting

When said ghoster starts liking all of your social media post out of the blue.

IRL

In real life. When you finally go on a real face-to-face date with the person you’ve been talking to.

Layby

Someone who dates you, just giving the bare minimum and always keeps “better” options on the horizon.

R-Bombed

When the person you’re seeing reads your messages but doesn’t reply, you have been R-bombed. You’ve been left on read. Harsh.

Slow-Fading

A mildly kinder way of ghosting, where you slowly wind down the contact with the person you’re seeing, leaving longer and longer between your replies, until they give up. (I do this one too, ugh, I’m a terrible person)

Uncuffing

Winter is over! Dump that warm safety blanket and commence a summer of love.

YODO

Kind of like YOLO except dumping. “You only dump once.” Basically, never go back, don’t f**k the past.

Zombieing

When a ghoster suddenly starts texting you out of the blue, as if back from the grave. My advice here, drop the rope, they’ll 100% ghost you again.

So there you have it. You’re now armed with all the lingo you need to navigate the crazy dating scene. It’s time to swipe right.

By CLS Digital Arts/shutterstock

And go.

Got more to add to this list of dating jargon? Comment below.

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