Relationships Talk

The year may be nearly over but there’s still time for dating. In fact, these next few weeks are ideal for meeting new people, whether you’re after a life partner or just a date. There are lots of parties, most people have been at the mulled wine and are full of the spirit of Love Actually — and, more recently, the Love Island Christmas special. Work should be easing off too — that means more time for perusing dating apps or even offline dating, which has been on the rise this year. 

There’s a new practice called Scrooging, where people break up before Christmas to avoid spending money on presents — which if true should mean more single people to choose from. So in that spirit, here is your guide to festive dating. 

Checkmate

Forget tipsy Trivial Pursuit with distant relatives — “gaming” this festive season is all about finding love. And with game-playing being at the heart of dating, what better way to find love than over chess? Dating app Mates, which is owned by the people behind hook-up app Pure, uses dating technology to help find “a chess-playing partner near you”. Conversation is limited to an hour, forcing users to meet up and play. 

Think of the tension as you’re pitted against each other over those pawns. And if they’re confident enough to make the first move on the board… just wait until you get them in the bedroom.

Some of the Love Island 2018 girls (ITV)

Game it

Long gone are the days of awkwardly hot-footing it from table to table brandishing a name badge in a bid to find “the one” through small talk with strangers. London’s speed-dating scene has had a makeover, so expect motorbike rides and gaming to ease the tension of meeting your potential spouse. 

Dirty Scrabble Dating mixes drinking with spitting out rude words, but if talking isn’t the way to your heart, Shhh Dating events are silent affairs that rely on body language to find that spark. 

Gamers should try Jenga or Connect 4 dating while the capital’s Beyoncés  should head to Color Me Badd Dates, where singles take the mic to LOL about their worst dates.

Holiday romance

If you feel like you’re a better version of yourself on holiday, try a dating staycation. It’s a stealthy way to expand your pool of possible matches while giving you the chance to practise your dating skills with nothing to lose. 

If it’s practice you’re going for, create a persona. Perhaps you’re a top executive at a bank. Whatever path you choose, let your lowered inhibitions and different surroundings act as a confidence-booster. As soon as you clock a fabulous stranger, ask them if they want a drink. If they turn out to be boring, don’t worry — chances are you’ll never see them again. 

Some of the Love Island 2018 boys (ITV)

Bag a fittie

They say if you can’t accept someone at their worst then you don’t deserve them at their best. Think of that when you see someone you fancy while you are beetroot-faced on the treadmill. But working out releases endorphins, so despite not feeling your best physically, mentally you’re on cloud nine. 

Fancy switching the pints for pull-ups ahead of the food and booze binge? Send yourself into a spin at Psycle or go hunting for singles at 1Rebel. They are even hosting parties at Frame over Christmas to encourage social exercise, which could lead anywhere.

Get straight to the point

If you want to cut straight to the point, try a sex party. Don’t be shocked. If you’re up for it, Torture Garden is a good starter event. As one of the most original, professional and established adult parties out there, you are invited to participate, dictate or just simply watch — you never know who, or what, you might bump into. 

For girls who like their women fit, Skirt Club is where it’s at. Advice? Turn up in your sexiest lingerie and get ready for a whole new world of sexual exploration underground.  

And if you’re an A-list kinda boy or gal, head for Killing Kittens. With 45,000 members, the club has built its reputation as the adult party “for the world’s sexual elite”. In other words, it’s a good opportunity to walk out starkers with a Hollywood star (fingers crossed). All you have to do is send in a selfie to join the club.  

Jack and Dani found love on this year’s Love Island (ITV)

Animal magic

If Pongo and Perdy can find love in the bushes, you can too. And there are doggy speed-dating events to help. But why waste your money paying to meet pups and their humans when you can just find them walking through one of London’s fine green spots for free? 

Of course there’s your local acre or two, but if you really want to strike it lucky, head for Kensington Gardens. There you’ll find all sorts of attractions: jogging fitties training with their alsatians and, if you’re lucky, a man in uniform walking his sausage — that’s true love in our books. Good talkers, too. 

○ A Chinese digital television provider cooperated with African partners to produce a dating show

○ To respect local cultural sensitivities, the Chinese teams stuck to technical advice

○ The show has become a hit and is being produced in a growing number of countries

A woman and a man find their match in the show Hello Mr Right in Kenya. Photo: courtesy of StarTimes

Deiz Nandako, a 21-year-old student at University of Nairobi, and Godfred Wafula, a 25-year-old restaurant waiter, had never imagined they could be shot by Cupid’s arrow during the filming of Hello Mr Right, a blind dating TV program in Kenya produced by a Chinese company. This couple, among many other prospective lovebirds, recently found partners on the show.

Hello Mr Right was created by Chinese digital television provider TopStar, a subsidiary of StarTimes. The Beijing-based company is now a media group with 10 million subscribers across 30 countries in Africa.

The company has a large base of young viewers and media networks across Africa. The company gave technical support for filming and production. This is the first time a Chinese company cooperated with African local television stations to create a dating program.

A show for Africans

The show follows a simple format. Eight women stand in an arc, each behind a podium. A single man comes on the stage. A video clip introduces his background such as his occupation, interests, job, what he is looking for in a mate, and dating history.

Specially designed for Africa, men and women are given an opportunity both in the auditions and shooting to show off their talents with a dance or a song to warm things up. Women can decide if the man is “date-worthy’ by keeping a light on or turning it off. The man makes a selection from the women with their lights on. After giving his final questions, he then makes a decision by taking the winner’s hand, or departs alone.

The program will premiere in Kenya soon, after successful runs in Zambia. The Kenya version’s female host is Vera Sidika, one of the most influential celebrities on social media. She recently hinted on social media that Hello Mr Right will be all about the fun and challenges of relationships in its first season.

The hosts, content planning team and male and female guests are all from Africa. “We hope it to be a show grown in African, and for Africans,” Zhao Chengxu, the producer of the Chinese production team, told the Global Times.

Talking about potential concerns about production in culturally conservative Africa, Zhao acknowledges that religious and cultural differences had to be taken into account. For this reason, “The Chinese production team provided support and guidance only at the technical level, leaving the local partners space to develop the content.”

The design of the show’s interactions and selection criteria during the auditions was all left to local television partners. The program uses both English and Kiswahili.

“We can only give suggestions such as ‘simplify the program format,’ because an overly complex process makes it harder for the audience to understand in the very first season,” said Zhao.

“Love knows no borders. It is an eternal theme, and a studio dating show is a good format. We found local dating shows in Africa were lacking. As it happens, the broadcasting channel developed by TopStar in Africa is a drama channel with love as the main theme. I thought our target audience might be interested if we opened a new blind dating show,” said Zhao.

Thanks for the chance 

“Hello TopStar thank you for posting my video, I was really curious to watch it,” commented Emmanuel. He felt excited to see a short clip featuring his dancing uploaded onto the official social media account of Hello Mr Right. This 20-year-old young African man is a recent participant on the show in Zambia.

In the comments section of the social media account, one person after another showed their curiosity and enthusiasm amid comments about Emmanuel’s short video.

“What should I do if I want to participate?”

“How can I compete… Or be part of the show… I really want to find my dream girl… My Miss Right.”

The show, in cooperation with the Zambia National Broadcasting Corporation (ZNBC), was launched in Zambia earlier this year. A total of 25 male and 40 female guests from Lusaka, Livingston, Ndola, and Kitway participated, with a dream of finding their true love. Participants with great talent result in huge climaxes during the love competition, explained Zhao.

Deiz Nandako and Godfred Wafula are now happy together, since they met up on the program in Kenya. Nandako was full of anxiety and skepticism before the show.

“When I went there, there were so many beautiful ladies. I thought there is no chance for me. But at the end of the day, I was the one who was chosen, and I just thank God for that,” Nandako told the Global Times. She is 21 now. She believes it would be awful if she did not have a boyfriend by 24. She did not sound very confident in a telephone interview.

Wafula, her partner, who works as a waiter and an actor, quickly interrupted during the phone interview to reassure her.

“Yes I saw a lot of beautiful ladies as she said, but one thing caught my attention, her appreciation for what I do,” he said.

Nandako said almost all of her friends advised her against joining the show, because of their doubts about its authenticity.

“They thought the show was fabricated, the guys were fake, and I was coming here to find a fake thing. They want something real for me, not just for having fun but for a serious thing. Now I can prove them wrong because I have already found my perfect match,” she said, sounding satisfied at the other end of the line.

“African people are normally real and unsophisticated, so we don’t usually preset templates or over-glorify participants’ backgrounds in the programs. We want to give them a real, pure show,” Zhao told the Global Times.

“Africans fall in love and get married at a younger age than Chinese. Many young people in their early 20s participated in the auditions. The show is a new way for them to make friends and find potential dates. In Zambia, many students aged under 18 applied for the auditions. This is very novel for students, but we have to set an age limit,” she added.

Chinese contestants

Three Chinese appeared on the program in Zambia. They are all employees of Chinese companies based in Africa. Oscar, 28, came to work in Zambia in 2016. This Chinese man was looking forward to meeting some suitable African girls, or more new friends, to explore Zambian culture together.

“For Chinese people, being unmarried at 28 will worry their parents,” he told the Global Times. Like many Chinese employees in Africa, Oscar can only return home once or twice each year, leaving no chance for a long-distance love. His work in Africa was so intense it restrained him from getting to know more African women after work. He heard about the blind date show, and knew it was time for him to find love.

He fired up the audience in the program with a performance of a Chinese Peking Opera selection. “I am not good at singing or dancing like other participants, I just wish to show my own characteristics,” he said.

“Many were fascinated by the Chinese opera. They left messages for me, showing their curiosity and desire to know more about Chinese culture. That made me feel proud and satisfied, though I failed to find a girl on the show.”

“I feel very natural about marriage between Chinese and Africans. More and more Africans are willing to consider marrying Chinese people. And the program host treated me as an ordinary male guest throughout without deliberately magnifying my identity as a ‘Chinese guy,'” said Oscar. 

Cooperation and challenges

The cooperation between production teams from China and Africa sparked opportunities and also challenges.

Brian Mulamba, the host of Hello Mr Right in Zambia, appreciates the bringing in of many Chinese advanced techniques and resources. “China’s media and broadcasting industries are more mature than Zambia’s, so this helps us to know the latest changes and trends for broadcasting and television,” he told the Global Times.

Jack Kafukilwa, the leading engineer of ZBNC, expects that such cooperation will continue. He hopes that his crew can be invited to see programs produced by TopStar elsewhere.

“The difference between China and African teams in working rhythm is actually a small challenge. For instance, Chinese team tends to quicken the process if it is rainy during the outdoor shooting, while the African cameramen still move the camera leisurely while humming a tune. They can enjoy the process more than us, and we should get used to their rhythm,” Zhao told the Global Times.

Since its debut in Zambia, the show has set a new record for the channel’s best ratings. It received 3.11 percent of the audience in Uganda and 2.58 percent in Nigeria. The show was well received on social media in both countries.

Newspaper headline: Hello Mr Right

Sagittarius

Birthday: November 22-December 21

Type: Mutable fire sign

Key words: Carefree, optimistic, blunt, active, adventurous

Love anthem: “Run Away With Me” – Carly Rae Jepsen

Famous Scorpio men: Brad Pitt, Jay-Z, Jake Gyllenhaal, Charlie Puth, Trey Songz, Jon Stewart

Best matches:

When it comes to this sign, another Sagittarius is the best choice in partner! You’re both unapologetically upfront and can dish out the tea as well as you can take it from others, so arguments are quick and then forgotten about. Another great match for Sagittarius is Aquarius. Both of you have unique perspectives on the world that are completely your own, which you both love to have friendly debates over.

Love is always an adventure when it comes to Sagittarius men. This feisty fire sign is classified as mutable, meaning he’s creative, expressive, adventurous, resourceful, and always on the go. His sign is ruled by Jupiter, planet of abundance and expansion, and he wants to be completely unrestricted so he can honor his ruling planet’s themes of growth and broaden his horizons. He does this by traveling and engaging with a ton of different people. This upbeat guy is a present-day Indiana Jones—educated, a bit of a troublemaker, and totally irresistible, if you’re down for the ride.

The Sagittarius man is optimistic above all else. He sees every moment as an opportunity to learn something new, or to help someone, or to improve at a skill. Every goal he makes is lofty and ambitious, and every obstacle he faces is just a chance to improve. His constantly-hopeful mindset is something to be admired, and he views you through that same idealistic lens, too. He sees the best in people very easily, and he only seriously connects with those he thinks have potential. In a lot of ways, he’s like a coach. He’ll push your buttons sometimes, but at the end of the day, he wants nothing more than for you to be the best version of yourself.

Just like the Sagittarius constellation—the Centaur—he’s always on the move! He’ll motivate you to work out with him and prefers long walks together over sitting at a bar. He hates to be bored, and in the rare times when you two have no plans, he immediately has an idea for an outing or adventure. It’s hardly ever something as simple as catching a movie or getting dinner at a nice restaurant—he wants to go on a hike, or a couples art class–anything that’s mentally stimulating and provides an opportunity to try something new.

With a Sagittarius guy, what you see is what you get. He’s no good at keeping secrets—as soon as something pops into his mind, it immediately comes out of his mouth. Is he tactless? Sure, at times. But you know that with this guy, you’ll only get the real truth tea. It’s an interesting way he honors his ruling planet. Jupiter is all about unrestricted growth and expansion, and his straightforwardness is a result of him wanting the relationship to evolve. Other signs might be more passive aggressive, but you can rest assured that if you’re with a Sagittarius, he will mince no words!

However, his words can hurt, especially if he makes you feel clingy just for having basic relationship needs. After all, his sign gets a reputation for being unable to commit—he takes a great amount of convincing before he even starts to entertain the idea of settling down. He might view you as his ball and chain if he thinks you’re restricting him in any way. He wants nothing more than the freedom to explore and experience everything life has to offer (in return, he grants you that same autonomy). But he also needs to be continually fascinated by you. If you can’t keep him intrigued and keep up with his fast-paced movement through life, good luck!

Being ruled by Jupiter, planet of expansion, this sign is exaggerative by nature in everything he does. One tiny misstep on your end turns into an argument, and his natural loudness really shines when he’s in a disagreement with someone! He identifies very strongly with his beliefs and opinions, to the point of where a simple argument feels like a personal attack on him. Best strategy to deal with this craziness? Shrug it off. Don’t bother over little tiffs, just roll your eyes and move on. He won’t remember them in five minutes, and neither should you. His sign gets heated the quickest, but he’s also the sign that’s fastest to forgive and forget.

Again, the simplest way to make it all work with him is to give him some breathing room. He’s a fire sign, so he’s terrified of his natural spark being smothered. If you’re looking for a nightly Netflix and chill buddy, you might not be a perfect match for a Sagittarius boy. There’s a need for freedom in everything he does, including his schedule, so don’t expect important dates or plans to be set in stone. Appreciate the impromptu lifestyle he lives, where you can enjoy every date as a surprise, and every moment spent together will feel like an adventure.

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Love is in the air for Jennifer Garner and her new boyfriend, John Miller! The two have been reportedly dating for nearly eight months now and seem to be doing super well.

According to a source who spoke to Us Weekly, the actress and businessman are “very much in love” and are “stronger than ever.” Aw! We couldn’t be happier for Jen who recently divorced ex-husband, Ben Affleck, after 13 years together.

Like any couple in their honeymoon stage, Jen and John spend lots of time together. He even sleeps over from time to time because “it’s easier to go there.” Though reports claim he’s already met her three kids, Violet, 13, Seraphina, 9, and Samuel, 6, the 40-year-old would rather not run into them. “Jen doesn’t want them to see him in the morning at breakfast. He will arrive late at night and leave very early the next morning,” the source told the outlet. Considering their relationship is still fairly new, it makes total sense as to why they want to lay low for now.

Getty Images

Earlier this week, the 13 Going on 30 actress was all smiles at the American Ballet Theatre’s Annual Holiday Benefit in Beverly Hills, CA. No wonder! A happy relationship can make a person glow. A source told In Touch that “her relationship with John is like a dream.” How can one not ship these two?!

It looks like Jen may have to thank her besties for some of her relationship’s success though. In November, it was reported that her friends had given her dating advice prior to her first date with John. “They told her, avoid talking about Ben Affleck, don’t spend all night discussing the kids and most importantly, no more mom jeans!” a source revealed to Life & Style magazine. We’re glad those tips paid off because look at these lovebirds now!