Relationships Talk

Can you handle her?

While you may be attracted to an independent woman’s success or confidence, some men find dating powerful women to be a challenge.

Strong, independent women are ambitious and bold, and they know exactly what they want in life and in love.

They don’t need a man for protection, financial security, or status. They are quite capable of living alone, although they might prefer sharing their lives with a man who’s willing to her accept her and her own personal strengths and weaknesses.

They want a romantic partner they can feel close to, and with whom they can share their life.

RELATED: 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Woman Who Likes Being On Her Own

If you’re dating or falling in love with a woman like this, know that strong women tend to be faithful to their mates, have a good sense of self, and have several friends and activities that they enjoy, which occupy their time. They likely are working toward their next career success or are happy with their job as it is.

Successful women may or may not want children, but will be clear about their decision either way. They know themselves well — like what works for them and what doesn’t. They know what makes them happy and go after it. They also manage their finances successfully on their own.

Would you be happy dating such a woman with these strong character traits?

Here are 8 pieces of dating advice for men on how to get a girlfriend by taking into account her greatest personal strengths and weakness.

1. Her need for emotional closeness.

A healthy independent woman will want an emotionally intimate relationship. You will need to do your part in that. This means that you both take responsibility for emotional intimacy in the relationship.

For example, you both reach for the other person to connect and feel close to one another.

2. Her desire for social independence.

A healthy and independent woman with good character traits will have a variety of friends, activities and possible work events.

You would need to have some of your own interests and activities to avoid relying on her busy life.

3. Your ability to trust in her fidelity.

An independent woman will spend a good portion of her time away from you. If you have been cheated on in the past or have been unfaithful yourself, then you may question whether she may be cheating. Not everyone cheats.

You need to feel comfortable with your partner and ask her about her history and if she has cheated in the past. If you are the one who has cheated, you are more likely to believe she is cheating, even if this is not the case. An independent woman may not be the right match for you.

This type of woman needs an independent and emotionally secure man to share her life. An independent woman is not going to want to deal with jealousy in a relationship. This will likely be a deal-breaker for her.

4. Her ambitious career goals.

This is a big issue to consider and absolutely shapes the relationship lifestyle. Independent women often highly value their career and may see it as equal to having a family. They may want to continue to advance their career after each child’s birth if children are in the picture. This is an important factor to know about yourself ahead of time regarding whether this fits you.

What does your picture look like? Are you going to be comfortable if she chooses to move forward in her career or even surpasses your career? What if her advancement involves a move out of state or even out of the country?

There is a big difference between having a family where the wife stays at home with the kids versus a career woman who may want it all: a career and a family. What if this means you will need to step up more often to help? Is this OK with you? Will this affect your career?

Her career may mean more to her than money. Some careers involve prestige, which may result in others respecting her career or position more than yours. Are you going to feel secure enough to handle this? Again, this is not about a challenge. It is about what will make you happy.

RELATED: 4 Things You Must Accept To Win The Heart Of An Independent Woman

5. Your comfort with her financial independence.

Again, this goes back to your sense of self and how secure you feel. Men like to feel needed and finances are often where men can exceed the woman’s financial status. An independent woman will not “need” your money to be comfortable in life.

Also, she would likely be making her own decisions about her finances. Are you going to be OK with this? And what if she makes more money than you? Are you comfortable with this?

6. Your level of self-esteem.

She will want a man who has a very secure self-esteem. She will emotionally support you, but will not want to be responsible for you feeling good about yourself. You are responsible for your own feelings of self-worth.

7. Her feelings about having children.

Having children affects your lifestyle together, and how this might affect her career, as well as yours. You both need to be in agreement about this decision because you each will be living this particular life choice. A highly independent woman may choose not to have kids, either because of her desire to focus on her career or that she does not want that lifestyle that includes having kids.

You both need to feel resolved in this decision because it could affect you for life one way or another.

8. Her relationship with family and relatives.

Some independent women enjoy making time for family, but others do not feel the need. What if your independent woman is not close to her own family and focuses on her career and her mate by choice? She may not feel drawn to family in general and does not seek out either family.

This may come from making a healthy choice rather than an avoidance of a negative family dynamic. What will this be like if you enjoy getting together with your family?

This is not a complete list of the types of personalities independent girls and women have. You may find other factors about their positive qualities to consider before choosing a healthy and independent woman to share your life.

You need to honestly evaluate these situations and questions before you commit to an independent woman, no matter how enticing her personal attributes may be.

RELATED: 4 Ways To Spoil An Independent Woman So She’ll Love You Forever

Susan Saint-Welch, LMFT, is a marriage and family psychotherapist who has been practicing in-person and online in the South Bay of the Los Angeles area for over 20 years, helping families and couples learn healthy communications skills, and guiding single men and women to get un-stuck and find the lasting love they deserve. For more, visit her website.

This article was originally published at Life and Relationships 101. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Before you give her your heart.

If you’re a man who’s ever found yourself falling for an attractive woman, only to later find out she wasn’t as beautiful on the inside as she initially seemed from outward appearances, you’re definitely not alone. One of the most important pieces of dating advice men and women tend to forget is how critical it is to make sure you know if the person you’re seeing really likes you for who, and whether or not you really know and like who they are, too.

Think about the Venus flytrap, as an example. It lures its meals with a fragrant nectar, then assesses the liveliness of its prey before trapping and consuming. It doesn’t bother keeping a potential snack if it lacks a certain energy and movement.

And while the mosquito lacks the ability to see danger and avoid ;it, a guy can learn how to spot a Venus flytrap, aka gorgeous women, from a safe distance and walk away before it’s too late!

The biggest mistake you often make about beautiful people is an automatic assumption that they are good and kind and loving when all you’re aware of is the regularity of their features and the quality of their body.

Does any of this imply kindness or caring? No. Does any of it suggest decency and respect for others? No, again.

RELATED: Science Says Women With These Traits Are The Most Beautiful

Learning to evaluate people based on all the information you can possibly gather is the secret to having a great future. Because truth be told, there are men and women out there who really should come with a warning label.

The difficult fact remains that people don’t post warning signs any place you can see with your eyes … at least, not until it’s too late and you’re already too close for comfort.

To protect your heart from falling in love with someone who will only leave you with a broken heart, here are 5 pieces of dating advice on how to know if a girl really likes you — and if you really like her, too.

1. Don’t assume what someone is like based on their looks.

My father used to say that after 40 you have the face you deserve, but that was before Botox. Now, there’s absolutely no way to look at someone and know who she is. She may just be a great combination of genetics and plastic surgery, so don’t just get pulled in by a pretty face!

You can tell she’s a good looking woman, but what else do you know about her? Nothing!

2. Take your time learning who they really are.

The minute you meet someone or the minute you hear about her, your job is to go into research mode. When you think of moving you research the schools for your children before you buy a home, right? And when you think about taking a job you have already checked the company, the owners, the financials, haven’t you?

And yet how many people feel hopeful that this is destiny when they meet someone new and leave logic, safety, and practical thinking behind?

RELATED: Listen Up, Guys! Here’s What Women REALLY Want From You

3. Don’t ignore what your ears tell you!

Even if she’s the most beautiful woman ever born, she may turn out to be the opposite when you take the time to get to know her.

Take the time to listen to everything a woman says, because she’s telling you who she really is. Even the most attractive women have flaws and hangups, so pay attention to what hers are!

4. Keep things casual as you see how things go.

While you may be mesmerized by this woman and you may feel as if you’re hearing a siren’s song, remember that sirens sang men onto the rocks where their ships sank. When you first meet a woman like this, it’s OK to put yourself through madness short term because you’re totally infatuated with her beauty and passion.

But if you realize her drama is unavoidable and that she definitely should have come with a warning label, just plan on making your time together short-term — perhaps a weekend or two, but not longer. Sirens may be beautiful, but they certainly don’t have your happiness in mind! It’s okay to go a little temporarily gaga for her — but make sure to pull back and take a good look at the whole package!

5. Beware of any attempts to pressure you into a commitment before you’re truly ready.

This kind of woman is incapable of love; incapable of commitment to you and devotion to a life-long relationship that is joyous and respectful. While it’s taken her decades to become the deeply-troubled woman she is you don’t want to commit yourself to sticking around and trying to change her. We can never change someone who is intimately involved with us — that’s for the pros.

So face the fact that she isn’t here to love; she uses people. She doesn’t care. She needs, and when you realize she has nothing to offer in return, you will want to get as far away from her as fast as you can! Even if you share children, there are tools and skills that will allow you to generate more compromise as you become more skilled at motivating her.

There is always a way to motivate anyone, no matter how difficult and self-absorbed she may be.

These dating tips will help you learn to spot women who should wear a warning label, recognize them for who they are, and realize that by moving on, you won’t lose anything.

In fact, you’ll be saving yourself from what would have been a miserably unhappy life sentence.

RELATED: 13 Things That Will Turn Him Off, No Matter HOW Pretty You Are

Susan Allen is a certified mediator and communication expert who helps couples find the passion in their sex lives. For a complimentary session, email her or visit her website.

KISSIMMEE, Fla. – Three men accused of using a dating app to lure their victim to a Kissimmee store and then rob him were arrested Wednesday, according to officials with the Sheriff’s Office.

Osceola County deputies said the victim told authorities he thought he was going to meet up with a woman he met on a dating app just before 7 p.m. Dec. 5 in the area of Sevilla Plaza on West Irlo Bronson Highway.

Surveillance video first shows the assailants waiting for the victim to come out of the store before they confronted him and told him he was under arrest. The victim said he believed the men were law enforcement and complied with their requests.

 Authorities said the three suspects made the victim escort them to his hotel room, where they demanded money and then fled in a dark-colored vehicle.

With help from tips from the community, Osceola County Sheriff’s Office Robbery Unit tracked down and arrested the suspects, Kenneth Waldrop, 22, Adam Zsiga, 30, and Terry Brown, 55.

Deputies said the suspects specifically targeted the victim.

The three men are charged with armed robbery with a firearm, aggravated assault, kidnapping, grand theft and impersonating a law enforcement officer.

Copyright 2018 by WKMG ClickOrlando – All rights reserved.

Kate Gosselin is looking for love on an upcoming TLC dating show, but her ex-husband seems to think she’s looking in all of the wrong places.

In a new interview with Us Weekly, Jon Gosselin, who has been dating his former childhood friend, Colleen Conrad, since 2014, revealed that he doesn’t think his estranged ex-wife, Kate, will find her next man on a reality TV show.

“I don’t think anyone can [find love on TV]. I think you need to find it [organically].”

Earlier this year, it was announced that Kate Gosselin would let cameras follow her dating life on TLC’s Kate Plus Date, but the network has not yet given a premiere date. When the show does finally air, the Gosselins’ eight kids — twins Cara and Mady and sextuplets Aaden, Alexis, Collin, Hannah, Joel, and Leah — will not be seen on the series. This is because Jon would not allow his teen kids to be filmed.

“I didn’t sign their work permits,” the former Jon and Kate Plus 8 star said. “That’s why they can’t film. They came to me and I was like, ‘No, I’m not signing that.’”

That could explain why Jon Gosselin is currently estranged from his ex-wife — and more than half of his kids.

Kate Gosselin previously expressed excitement over her Kate Plus Date series, telling People that — nearly a decade after her messy divorce from Jon — she is ready to give love another try.

“I’m nervous, I’m excited, and I’m forcing myself to do this,” Kate Gosselin said. The mother-of-eight also revealed that it’s her kids who are pushing her to find someone.

“It was very apparent, now that they’re older and talking about dating and how they’re all gonna get married someday… it became apparent: they want someone for me. They want me to have somebody in my life.”

Kate Gosselin admitted that she even started picturing herself as a “spinster,” and realized that she didn’t want that to be her fate after her kids move out. But the busy mom also realized that normal dating would be out of the question due to her reality TV fame.

“I mean, online dating, seriously — I put my profile in there and people will know who it is within 90 seconds. No, this is probably the safest way for me to date, let’s be honest… If I’m going to date someone, I can’t just go out on a date — it’s creepy to me to think of just going out somewhere with some stranger, and so I actually feel like doing it like this is the best and safest way for me to go on a date — a camera crew will be there! I’ll be safe! And the person will have been vetted by a matchmaker.”

As for her type of man, Kate Gosselin said she wants to date “a grown-up with their own life.” He will have to have a set career, love dogs, and be self-sufficient. Kate doesn’t mind if her future guy travels for work, because she’s used to having her space.

While most of the Gosselin kids are not on speaking terms with their dad, Jon, right now — Kate hopes her new man can be a friend to them.

“I would love my kids to have a mutual friendship and respect with this guy and for him to be someone they can ask for advice. It would be great for my kids to have someone they can feel like is a real friend.”

There is no official air date for Kate Plus Date.