Relationships Talk

This is a date to remember.

If you’re hoping to meet someone new in 2019, mark your calendars for Sunday, Jan. 6. That’s the first Sunday after the new year — and each year, that Sunday is the day when dating sites say they see a peak in new singles logging on and looking for dates. Dating site Match MTCH, -0.70%  , for example, says the first Sunday of the year is consistently the most trafficked day and predicts there will be a 69% spike in new singles coming to the app this year, and that over 1.5 million messages will be sent.

Last year was no different, with dating sites like Match and PlentyofFish telling Moneyish that the first Sunday after the new year typically sees a big spike in online daters both joining and engaging with one another. Indeed, Kate MacLean, a spokesperson for the dating site PlentyofFish, told Moneyish that the first Sunday may be the best day of the year to find love online.

Also see: Adding these 3 words to your online dating profile will land you more dates

Why is this day so popular? For one, Sundays are a particularly popular day for online dating. A spokesperson for Match tells Moneyish that may be due to “people actually having time to sit down and catch up on their lives on Sunday” and that Sundays are “a great way to plan the week ahead when it comes to potential dates.”

Plus, “the start of a fresh year symbolizes new beginnings, and singles may be feeling particularly excited and hopeful about the future,” MacLean says. “Also, after spending the holidays solo and/or with family, and being asked the dreaded question, ‘Why don’t you have a partner yet?’, many singles start off the year armed with a resolution to find love.”

While finding love is high on many people’s lists, be prepared for the cost: A Match survey of 5,500 singles found that they spend nearly $1,600 on dating every year, including everything from coffee to cocktails to food to clothing. Many people also pay for their online dating site or app subscription — which may explain why the online dating marketplace will be worth roughly $3.2 billion by 2020, according to MarketResearch.com.

No matter, it’s worth the money for many. Here’s how to make your profile stand out to get ahead of the pack.

Step one in that process: the photos, as these are often the first things a person sees. Relationship expert and author April Masini says that you should “decide what kind of image or brand you want to project, and then before posting, ask yourself if the images and posts you’re putting up reflect that intention.” Plus, you should consider a professional photo, she adds, noting that selfies are often a no-no. Moneyish has more tips on revamping your online dating profile here.

Once you’ve gotten noticed, conversation is the key to securing that in-person date. When you reach out, “don’t just say hey, hello or hi,” says Justin Lavelle, the chief communications officer for Been Verified, which helps you research people – as “approaching someone with one of these boring, traditional salutations will get you a measly response rate.”

Instead, ask about their interests after reading their profile: “You’ll have a higher chance of connecting with someone if you use phrases like, ‘curious what,’ … ‘noticed that,’ ‘good taste,’ and ‘you mention,” he says — all of which show you’ve looked at their profile and now are interested in them. But he adds, don’t write a too-long initial message — “‘Twitter-like’ messages, those that are 40 to 60 characters long, tend to have the highest response” — and make sure you use correct spelling and grammar.

This story was originally published in 2017 and has been updated.

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Los Angeles-based Holly Shaftel, 29, has been dating her boyfriend for four years. Early on in the relationship, the duo rarely spent more than $50 a week on dates. When they decided to go steady, they also decided to do something that’s far more common among married couples.

They decided to budget.

“We weren’t into fancy pants places,” says Shaftel, who works as a science editor at NASA. “We started with $30 to $40 dinners once or twice a month. Then we discovered we were both into physical activities and the great outdoors, so that started to make things cheaper.”

Americans are spending an average of $1,596 a year on their dating lives.

They started racking up free activities like playing tennis in the park, slacklining, hiking or spending a frugal $12 at the batting cages. One rare splurge included a dinner at Red Lobster for around $60.

The first six months into their relationship, Shaftel’s partner lost his job, so she agreed to pay the majority their dates until he found work again. After all, if they were married, she would do the same for him, and he for her if the tables were turned. “He has a full-time job now and pays about half for food and fun, sometimes more, sometimes less,” she says.

Americans are spending an average of $1,596 a year on their dating lives including bar tabs, dating sites, dinner and grooming expenses like getting a manicure or a new outfit, according to the most recent data from dating site Match.com IAC, -1.60% That’s more than the median monthly rent for a two-bedroom apartment.

Don’t miss: The unbelievable persistence of the male-paid date

Dating coaches don’t recommend spending more than $50 on a first date, especially if it’s a blind date and you hardly know the person. “Dating is a long haul. Don’t expect it to go on five dates and then you’re going to be done kissing frogs,” says Chicago-based dating coach Bela Gandhi.

“First dates should be short and sweet — no more than two hours long max,” she says. “Don’t make it epic — a drink and an appetizer is fine. Go for a walk, grab a cup of coffee. Get creative without breaking the bank.”

Many people don’t take that advice. In fact, the cost of the average first date is $75, and the average person spends $56 on dates that follow, according to data MarketWatch obtained from The Meet Group, the company behind mobile dating apps like LOVOO. Men reported that they pay 80% of the time on first dates, though women said that men pay 58% of the time on first dates.

The cost of the average first date is $75, and the rest cost $56 on average.

It’s not uncommon for people to split the tab while dating: 22% of singles said they split the bill on first dates, and half of dating app users, meanwhile, reported that they share the cost of dating on subsequent dates, according to data from The Meet Group.

Others make their first dates a night to remember. When Newport, Rhode Island native Dustyn Ferguson, 21, planned a first date for his now girlfriend of two years he met on a dating app, he made it a culinary destination date.

They started off with appetizers at a local Mexican restaurant, had a main course at an Italian eatery and finished off the evening with ice cream at a local scoop shop before seeing a movie. The total cost of that date: $130. “I was trying to be unique,” Ferguson says. “In this instance, I didn’t budget anything.”

Ferguson, a finance blogger, picked up the tab on the first date, but says he’s not opposed to splitting costs with his partner. They don’t have any hard and fast rules. “It’s go with the flow. Don’t fight it or make a scene,” he says.

Today, he says he spends around $50 to $150 per week on dating. “We still go to restaurants, movies and the occasional trampoline park,” he says. But he now seeks out happy hour and menu specials like “Taco Tuesdays” that don’t break the bank.

Jonathan Robinson thought his text exchanges with an attractive woman he met on a dating app were going so well that he asked her out. He was delighted when she said yes.

But then she asked about his past relationships. After he said he was divorced, she peppered him with questions: When was the breakup? Was he really over his ex? Did he feel emotionally available?

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