Category Archives: Relationships
Risky Tips [With Kate Quigley]: Obsessed With My Ex – Mandatory
Hey Kate!
I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but she left me for her ex. Now they broke up. Should I try to get her back?
Thanks & keep killing it!
Ex Obsessed
Dear EX-O,
This answer is too short for a column, but I felt the need to shake some sense into you. Two words: Hell. No.
Don’t be a masochist, Ben! Listen, if it helps at all, everyone has been there. I still hook up from time to time with one crazy ex because the sex is so unbelievably hot that no one can seem to compare. And it’s comfortable, like chicken soup when you have the flu. The problem is, even with him, even as much as I know we could never work as a couple and promise myself I will not catch feelings, inevitably one of us will piss the other off. It leads to drama every time. I’m not saying your case is the same, as it sounds like you want an actual relationship with this girl.
There are so many reasons to not put in the effort to get this girl back, and I realize (because I’ve been the “you” in this scenario) that you probably aren’t going to take my advice, but let me make my case anyway…
Everyone Wants to Date the Drummer
Do you ever see anyone going on and on about a second-string athlete? No. Because the elite men play on the starting lineup, like the quarterback, are the ones everyone want (nobody knows the name of his backup). Similarly, you don’t deserve to be a backup boyfriend. Nobody does. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be with someone who is crazy about me! Someone who thinks I’m an amazing addition to their life. It sounds like you feel that way about her, but you don’t care if she feels it in return?
Once, I dated a guy who I was so obsessed with, he could literally text me at 3 am and I would get up, shower, shave, and drive a half hour to sleep in bed with him. Half the time he’d be asleep when I got there, and I wouldn’t even complain because I knew that he wouldn’t be that upset if he lost me. Do you think that guy respected me or would have been proud to call me his girlfriend? No way! Because I was acting like a pathetic loser, I eventually learned from that experience that if you don’t believe you are worth more, no one else will either.
If she does miss and wants to be with you, then let her be the one to come back! I’m not saying you can’t give her a second chance. Sure, we all have moments where we have feelings for two people at once, and sometimes we choose the wrong one. But in that case, let her decide to chase you for a moment. Let her sweat a little! Let her realize and admit that she chose wrong (even if it’s just to her herself). Why should you do all the chasing when she left you? As a woman, trust me, she will respect you less somewhere on the inside if she knows she can have you any time she wants.
The Fear Factor, Hosted By You
This is simple: She hurt you. And if you get her back right away, chances are she’ll do it again.
It sounds to me like she wasn’t over the ex when she started dating you. Doesn’t mean she didn’t like you. I’m sure you’ve dated someone as a band-aid to feel better about an ex you weren’t over. Hell, you may be doing it now. You may even truly like that person. But as long as you are harboring feelings for an ex, you can’t be completely open to a relationship with this new person regardless of how great they are. And neither can she.
Truthfully, in my opinion, getting into a relationship with someone when you’re still pining for an ex is incredibly selfish. I recently tried to date a guy when I wasn’t over a wizard. (Yes, I slept with a wizard. That’s a whole other story.) I liked the new guy, truly! But when I felt that he was moving quickly toward a serious relationship, and I knew I wasn’t over my wizard, I ended it immediately. Did it hurt for him? Probably. Did I want to? Not entirely. But how much worse would it have been if I’d faked my way through a mediocre relationship with the poor guy, waiting for my former flame to be single? Awful.
Now is dating casually OK? Sure! Rebound sex? Go for it! Just be up front and honest! Keep in mind that your ex cannot possibly be over this guy if they just broke up. So if you have any chance in hell of ever being with her, I’d recommend trying to move on for now. Forget about her. And if she realizes you’re the guy, trust me, she’ll show up.
Whatever you do, as tempting as it may seem, do NOT be her stunt cock while she’s thinking about the guy she misses. If she reaches out to you while she’s still in any type of contact with her ex, you tell her that you’re not sure if you’re willing to take her back! And that if you are even to consider the option, it will be later when she’s completely finished engaging with this clown (you don’t have to say “clown,” but we’d love if you did.)
Hope Is a Real Mother F****r
Lastly, I know this much: Hope is a bitch. And rejection breeds obsession. You want her back, clearly (you wrote an unlicensed stranger to write about it for the Internet).
The golden rule of dating is this: The minute you truly don’t care and begin to move on and stop thinking about them, that’s when they always come back. So the best thing you can do for yourself (for a multitude of reasons) is work on finding new ways to have fun without her. Forget about dating her. Focus on you. Hit the gym. Pick up some new work. Enjoy being a hot, successful, single guy! I don’t know if you’re hot or successful, but since you’re smart enough to write to me, obviously you’ve got the smart part down.
Best of luck, champ! You got this!
Sincerely,
Kate Q
xoxo
Joe Alwyn Says a Few More Words About Taylor Swift and His Relationship in New Interview – ELLE.com
Getty ImagesDavid Parry – PA Images
Joe Alwyn has made it clear he really, really does not want to talk about Taylor Swift in interviews. Every time he is asked about her, he makes the point that one’s private life is, well, private. But Esquire tried and successfully got him to talk a little bit about whether or not he’s ever sought advice on dating Taylor Swift.
The answer is no. “I didn’t seek out advice on that because I know what I feel about it,” he said. Then he went back to his usual point to interviewers: He really doesn’t want to talk about his girlfriend, ever. “I think there’s a very clear line as to what somebody should share, or feel like they have to share, and what they don’t want to and shouldn’t have to.” Okay, fair enough, Joe.
Alwyn has said four things so far now about Swift while doing press for The Favourite.
To British GQ, he explained that he doesn’t have to talk about her, so he’s not going to talk about her. “Someone’s private life is by definition private,” he told the outlet. “No one is obliged to share their personal life.” When the outlet’s reporter asked him, for GQ‘s final question, what his favorite Swift song was, Alwyn laughed. “I’m just not even going to go into that side of the world.”
To British Vogue, he said he understood people’s interest, but he still isn’t going to talk about it. And he thinks people get that they’re a very private couple, anyway. “I’m aware people want to know about that side of things,” Alwyn said, acknowledging the public’s curiosity. “I think we have been successfully very private and that has now sunk in for people…but I really prefer to talk about work.”
And during a red carpet interview when a reporter asked him what he thought of Swift’s U.S. midterm election endorsements, Alwyn answered the question briefly but politely and then promptly left the interview.
Serena Williams just gave Meghan Markle this piece of advice – Evening Standard
Speaking to People at the launch of her new clothing line ‘Serena’ at Art Basel Miami Beach, the tennis star revealed the Duchess of Sussex is still her old self, despite the enormous life changes she has experienced in the last year.
“I’m like, ‘How are you?’ and she’s like, ‘No, how are you?’ and I’m like, ‘You’re so sweet, but I’m really asking – how are YOU?’” Serena revealed.
“I’m like, ‘Meghan, stop being so nice…you’re the pregnant one, aren’t you supposed to have hormones, why are you so sweet?’ But that’s always been her.”
Hannah Davis, Nina Agdal, Serena Williams, Meghan Markle and Shay Mitchell at DirecTV Beach Bowl, 2014 (Getty Images)
Williams, who is mother to one-year-old Alexis Olympia, insisted too, that although she has given Meghan plenty of parenting tips, the Duchess “still gives me more advice”.
This isn’t the first time Williams has spoken publicly about the advice she has given Meghan. When the former Suits actress started dating Prince Harry, she apparently consulted the tennis ace on how to deal with the paparazzi.
As Williams revealed to Vanity Fair last year, “I told her, ‘You’ve got to be who you are, Meghan. You can’t hide.’”
Created with Sketch.
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For their final 76th engagement of the tour Meghan and Harry cut a casual figure as they visited Redwoods Treewalk
Getty Images
2/92
Meghan wore a puffer jacket by Norrona and black skinny jeans
Getty Images
3/92
Coupled with a pair of smoking slippers by US brand Birdies Slippers
Getty Images
4/92
Meghan’s second outfit of the day was a Givenchy ensemble made up of a striking cobalt blue pleated skirt and matching top
Getty Images
5/92
She paired the dress with navy suede shoes by Manolo Blahnik
Getty Images
6/92
For the final day Meghan’s hair was fashioned in her signature messy bun
Getty Images
7/92
For the first engagement on their last day Meghan wore a navy asymmetric dress by Stella McCartney
Getty Images
8/92
Meghan was also gifted a woven Korowai, a Māori cloak honouring her as a great leader
Getty Images
9/92
She also wore a Pounamu Kouma necklace made by leading Māori designer Kiri Nathan
Getty Images
10/92
Meghan arrived at the Auckland War Memorial for the evening reception in a Antonio Berardi dress
PA Wire/PA Images
11/92
She accessorised with a clutch bag and sported a bolder lipstick than usual
PA Wire/PA Images
12/92
During the day Meghan wore J Crew jeans and a Karen Walker blazer
PA Wire/PA Images
13/92
She kept things simple with her hair in a ponytail
PA Wire/PA Images
14/92
For the wet weather Meghan also donned a pair of wellies by Muck Boots
PA Wire/PA Images
15/92
Back in a trusty trench coat, Meghan opted for a design by British brand Burberry
Getty Images
16/92
She paired the outerwear with a white dress by Brandon Maxwell
Getty Images
17/92
And shoes by Stuart Weitzman
PA Wire/PA Images
18/92
The Duchess of Sussex chose another tuxedo dress for a visit to Courtenay Creative, a film production company in Wellington
Getty Images
19/92
The bespoke white blazer dress was by Maggie Marilyn, an ethical New Zealand designer
Getty Images
20/92
She kept the look simple, opting for a plain pair of court shoes and her hair in the low bun
Getty Images
21/92
For the afternoon visit to Abel Tasman National Park Meghan wrapped up in a waterproof jacket by Seasalt Cornwall, Outland Denim jeans and Stan Smith x Stella McCartney trainers
Getty Images
22/92
Her hair was kept in a casual ponytail
Getty Images
23/92
For the morning Meghan re-wore her Outland Denim jeans and a cosy black jumper by Australian brand Jac and Jack
Getty Images
24/92
She covered up in a khaki trench coat by Club Monaco
Getty Images
25/92
And sported a statement pair of heeled boots by Stuart Weitzman
Getty Images
26/92
Meghan wore a custom deep blue Gabriela Hearst dress and Dior clutch bag to the evening reception at Government House
Getty
27/92
The look was accessorised with a Maori design necklace
Getty Images
28/92
And her hair was styled in loose waves
Getty
29/92
Meghan departed the plane wearing an ASOS maternity black dress
Getty Images
30/92
For the majority of the day Meghan covered up in a checked trench coat by New Zealand designer Karen Walker
Getty
31/92
She also sported Birks earrings and a polished bun
Getty Images
32/92
For her Sydney departure, the Duchess of Sussex wore nude heels and teamed them with the BOSS by Hugo Boss Slim-Fit Soft Jersey Dress in burgundy, the perfect comfy dress for a flight
Getty
33/92
Meghan spoke at the 2018 Invictus Games Closing Ceremony wearing an Antonio Berardi tuxedo-style dress
Getty
34/92
Meghan attended the Invictus Games wheelchair basketball finals wearing a Scanlan Theodore jacket
Getty
35/92
She accessorised her look with a half up-half down hairstyle, Sarah Flint heels and Shaun Leane earrings
Getty
36/92
Meghan had a princess-perfect moment in an Oscar de la Renta gown
EPA
37/92
The dress was delicately adorned with laser cut birds and featured a billowing tulle skirt
Ian Vogler / Daily Mirror
38/92
Her dark locks were fashioned into loose waves
EPA
39/92
Meghan changed into a sky blue shirt dress by Veronica Beard for the couple’s afternoon in Tonga
Getty Images
40/92
Her hair and natural make-up stayed the same throughout their multiple engagements
Getty Images
41/92
Meghan started the day in a cotton dress with khaki stripes by Martin Grant
Getty Images
42/92
With her hair styled into a sleek ponytail
Getty Images
43/92
She also carried a Prada clutch bag
Getty Images
44/92
For her first evening in Tonga Meghan donned a elegant white evening gown by Theia
PA Wire/PA Images
45/92
She accessorised the dress with a Givenchy clutch and aquamarine ring that once belonged to Princess Diana
PA Wire/PA Images
46/92
The duchess also chose to wear her hair in a simple bun and sported a nude lip
PA Wire/PA Images
47/92
Arriving in Tonga the duchess changed into a striking red dress from Self-Portrait
Getty Images
48/92
The colour was a nod to Tongan red and featured delicate lace detail
Getty Images
49/92
For the couple’s final engagement in Fiji Meghan wore a forest green dress by Jason Wu
Getty Images
50/92
She accessorised with gold leaf earrings and kept her makeup minimal
Getty Images
51/92
For a visit to a market in Suva Meghan wore a bohemian floral dress by Figue
Getty Images
52/92
During a welcome ceremony she was given a floral garland to wear around her shoulders
Getty Images
53/92
Her bag was from the local Suva market
Getty Images
54/92
She completed the look with a floral updo
AFP/Getty Images
55/92
Meghan stunned in a regal blue dress with a sweeping cape by London-based brand Safiyaa for her first state dinner
Getty Images
56/92
She paired the dress with statement earrings that are thought to have been borrowed from the Queen
Getty Images
57/92
Meghan arrived in Fiji wearing a white dress by Australian brand Zimmerman
Getty Images
58/92
She accessorised with a Stephen Jones hat, a bracelet given to her by Prince Charles and pearl earrings that had been gifted by the Queen
Getty Images
59/92
For her second outfit of the day on Fraser Island Meghan wore a striped dress by Reformation
PA Wire/PA Images
60/92
She paired the beach-ready number with Sarah Flint sandals and Karen Walker sunglasses
PA Wire/PA Images
61/92
Meghan arrived on Fraser Island in a burgundy polka dot dress by high street store & Other Stories
Media-Mode / SplashNews.com
62/92
To watch the sailing event at the Invictus Games Meghan dressed down in black jeans, a Superdry jacket and Veja trainers
PA Wire/PA Images
63/92
For the Invictus Games reception Meghan smartened up the skinny jeans with a striped blazer by L’Agence and recycled her striped handbag by Australian designer Oroton
PA Wire/PA Images
64/92
For the event she had her hair swept up in her signature messy bun and kept her make-up minimal
PA Wire/PA Images
65/92
To the Invictus Games opening ceremony Meghan wore a Stella McCartney dress and Gillian Anderson x Winser London coat
PA Wire/PA Images
66/92
She accessorised the look with sapphire drop earrings by Birks
AFP/Getty Images
67/92
Meghan arrived at the JLR Drive Day at Cockatoo Island in a pair of black jeans by Mother Denim, an Invictus Games shirt and white Altuzarra blazer
Getty Images
68/92
She kept her hair loose and accessorised with a pair of sunglasses by Illesteva
Getty Images for the Invictus Ga
69/92
To the official opening of the refurbished ANZAC Memorial Meghan wore a chic all-black look
AFP/Getty Images
70/92
She paired the Emelia Wickstead dress with a Philip Treacy headpiece
AFP/Getty Images
71/92
And accessorised with her Givenchy satin clutch
Getty Images
72/92
During a visit to Macarthur Girls High School Meghan changed into a A-line blue dress by British brand Roksanda
Getty Images
73/92
She kept her look minimal, with her hair in a half-up half-down style
Getty Images
74/92
The couple started their day with a trip to Bondi Beach where Meghan wore a striped maxi dress by Martin Grant
Getty Images
75/92
She paired the dress with beach-ready espadrille wedges
Getty Images
76/92
And once again wore her hair in a sleek ponytail
Getty Images
77/92
As she talked to members of OneWave she also wore a pink flower garland
Getty Images
78/92
Meghan wore a dress by Australian designer Dion Lee to attend a reception at Government House
Getty Images
79/92
To greet members of the public she covered up in a Martin Grant trench coat
Getty Images
80/92
With her hair styled into relaxed waves
Getty Images
81/92
For a trip to the beach Meghan changed into a Club Monaco dress
Getty Images
82/92
And opted for sensible black pumps by sustainable brand Rothy’s
Getty Images
83/92
Meghan arrived in Dubbo wearing a blazer by Serena Williams
AFP/Getty Images
84/92
And a pair of black jeans by ethical Australian brand Outland Denim
Getty Images
85/92
During a farm tour the duchess showed off an oversized white shirt by Kitsuné
Getty Images
86/92
Meghan changed into a Brandon Maxwell dress for an afternoon reception
Getty Images
87/92
Her hair was worn in a messy up-do
Getty Images
88/92
And accessorised with Princess Diana’s jewellery
Getty Images
89/92
During the Welcome Event at Admiralty House Meghan wore a white dress by Karen Gee
Getty Images
90/92
Meghan then wrapped up in a trench coat by Martin Grant to greet the public outside Sydney Opera House
AFP/Getty Images
91/92
She finished off the look with a pair of nude stilettos
Getty Images
92/92
And accessorised with a gold bangle that used to belong to Princess Diana
AFP/Getty Images
1/92
For their final 76th engagement of the tour Meghan and Harry cut a casual figure as they visited Redwoods Treewalk
Getty Images
2/92
Meghan wore a puffer jacket by Norrona and black skinny jeans
Getty Images
3/92
Coupled with a pair of smoking slippers by US brand Birdies Slippers
Getty Images
4/92
Meghan’s second outfit of the day was a Givenchy ensemble made up of a striking cobalt blue pleated skirt and matching top
Getty Images
5/92
She paired the dress with navy suede shoes by Manolo Blahnik
Getty Images
6/92
For the final day Meghan’s hair was fashioned in her signature messy bun
Getty Images
7/92
For the first engagement on their last day Meghan wore a navy asymmetric dress by Stella McCartney
Getty Images
8/92
Meghan was also gifted a woven Korowai, a Māori cloak honouring her as a great leader
Getty Images
9/92
She also wore a Pounamu Kouma necklace made by leading Māori designer Kiri Nathan
Getty Images
10/92
Meghan arrived at the Auckland War Memorial for the evening reception in a Antonio Berardi dress
PA Wire/PA Images
11/92
She accessorised with a clutch bag and sported a bolder lipstick than usual
PA Wire/PA Images
12/92
During the day Meghan wore J Crew jeans and a Karen Walker blazer
PA Wire/PA Images
13/92
She kept things simple with her hair in a ponytail
PA Wire/PA Images
14/92
For the wet weather Meghan also donned a pair of wellies by Muck Boots
PA Wire/PA Images
15/92
Back in a trusty trench coat, Meghan opted for a design by British brand Burberry
Getty Images
16/92
She paired the outerwear with a white dress by Brandon Maxwell
Getty Images
17/92
And shoes by Stuart Weitzman
PA Wire/PA Images
18/92
The Duchess of Sussex chose another tuxedo dress for a visit to Courtenay Creative, a film production company in Wellington
Getty Images
19/92
The bespoke white blazer dress was by Maggie Marilyn, an ethical New Zealand designer
Getty Images
20/92
She kept the look simple, opting for a plain pair of court shoes and her hair in the low bun
Getty Images
21/92
For the afternoon visit to Abel Tasman National Park Meghan wrapped up in a waterproof jacket by Seasalt Cornwall, Outland Denim jeans and Stan Smith x Stella McCartney trainers
Getty Images
22/92
Her hair was kept in a casual ponytail
Getty Images
23/92
For the morning Meghan re-wore her Outland Denim jeans and a cosy black jumper by Australian brand Jac and Jack
Getty Images
24/92
She covered up in a khaki trench coat by Club Monaco
Getty Images
25/92
And sported a statement pair of heeled boots by Stuart Weitzman
Getty Images
26/92
Meghan wore a custom deep blue Gabriela Hearst dress and Dior clutch bag to the evening reception at Government House
Getty
27/92
The look was accessorised with a Maori design necklace
Getty Images
28/92
And her hair was styled in loose waves
Getty
29/92
Meghan departed the plane wearing an ASOS maternity black dress
Getty Images
30/92
For the majority of the day Meghan covered up in a checked trench coat by New Zealand designer Karen Walker
Getty
31/92
She also sported Birks earrings and a polished bun
Getty Images
32/92
For her Sydney departure, the Duchess of Sussex wore nude heels and teamed them with the BOSS by Hugo Boss Slim-Fit Soft Jersey Dress in burgundy, the perfect comfy dress for a flight
Getty
33/92
Meghan spoke at the 2018 Invictus Games Closing Ceremony wearing an Antonio Berardi tuxedo-style dress
Getty
34/92
Meghan attended the Invictus Games wheelchair basketball finals wearing a Scanlan Theodore jacket
Getty
35/92
She accessorised her look with a half up-half down hairstyle, Sarah Flint heels and Shaun Leane earrings
Getty
36/92
Meghan had a princess-perfect moment in an Oscar de la Renta gown
EPA
37/92
The dress was delicately adorned with laser cut birds and featured a billowing tulle skirt
Ian Vogler / Daily Mirror
38/92
Her dark locks were fashioned into loose waves
EPA
39/92
Meghan changed into a sky blue shirt dress by Veronica Beard for the couple’s afternoon in Tonga
Getty Images
40/92
Her hair and natural make-up stayed the same throughout their multiple engagements
Getty Images
41/92
Meghan started the day in a cotton dress with khaki stripes by Martin Grant
Getty Images
42/92
With her hair styled into a sleek ponytail
Getty Images
43/92
She also carried a Prada clutch bag
Getty Images
44/92
For her first evening in Tonga Meghan donned a elegant white evening gown by Theia
PA Wire/PA Images
45/92
She accessorised the dress with a Givenchy clutch and aquamarine ring that once belonged to Princess Diana
PA Wire/PA Images
46/92
The duchess also chose to wear her hair in a simple bun and sported a nude lip
PA Wire/PA Images
47/92
Arriving in Tonga the duchess changed into a striking red dress from Self-Portrait
Getty Images
48/92
The colour was a nod to Tongan red and featured delicate lace detail
Getty Images
49/92
For the couple’s final engagement in Fiji Meghan wore a forest green dress by Jason Wu
Getty Images
50/92
She accessorised with gold leaf earrings and kept her makeup minimal
Getty Images
51/92
For a visit to a market in Suva Meghan wore a bohemian floral dress by Figue
Getty Images
52/92
During a welcome ceremony she was given a floral garland to wear around her shoulders
Getty Images
53/92
Her bag was from the local Suva market
Getty Images
54/92
She completed the look with a floral updo
AFP/Getty Images
55/92
Meghan stunned in a regal blue dress with a sweeping cape by London-based brand Safiyaa for her first state dinner
Getty Images
56/92
She paired the dress with statement earrings that are thought to have been borrowed from the Queen
Getty Images
57/92
Meghan arrived in Fiji wearing a white dress by Australian brand Zimmerman
Getty Images
58/92
She accessorised with a Stephen Jones hat, a bracelet given to her by Prince Charles and pearl earrings that had been gifted by the Queen
Getty Images
59/92
For her second outfit of the day on Fraser Island Meghan wore a striped dress by Reformation
PA Wire/PA Images
60/92
She paired the beach-ready number with Sarah Flint sandals and Karen Walker sunglasses
PA Wire/PA Images
61/92
Meghan arrived on Fraser Island in a burgundy polka dot dress by high street store & Other Stories
Media-Mode / SplashNews.com
62/92
To watch the sailing event at the Invictus Games Meghan dressed down in black jeans, a Superdry jacket and Veja trainers
PA Wire/PA Images
63/92
For the Invictus Games reception Meghan smartened up the skinny jeans with a striped blazer by L’Agence and recycled her striped handbag by Australian designer Oroton
PA Wire/PA Images
64/92
For the event she had her hair swept up in her signature messy bun and kept her make-up minimal
PA Wire/PA Images
65/92
To the Invictus Games opening ceremony Meghan wore a Stella McCartney dress and Gillian Anderson x Winser London coat
PA Wire/PA Images
66/92
She accessorised the look with sapphire drop earrings by Birks
AFP/Getty Images
67/92
Meghan arrived at the JLR Drive Day at Cockatoo Island in a pair of black jeans by Mother Denim, an Invictus Games shirt and white Altuzarra blazer
Getty Images
68/92
She kept her hair loose and accessorised with a pair of sunglasses by Illesteva
Getty Images for the Invictus Ga
69/92
To the official opening of the refurbished ANZAC Memorial Meghan wore a chic all-black look
AFP/Getty Images
70/92
She paired the Emelia Wickstead dress with a Philip Treacy headpiece
AFP/Getty Images
71/92
And accessorised with her Givenchy satin clutch
Getty Images
72/92
During a visit to Macarthur Girls High School Meghan changed into a A-line blue dress by British brand Roksanda
Getty Images
73/92
She kept her look minimal, with her hair in a half-up half-down style
Getty Images
74/92
The couple started their day with a trip to Bondi Beach where Meghan wore a striped maxi dress by Martin Grant
Getty Images
75/92
She paired the dress with beach-ready espadrille wedges
Getty Images
76/92
And once again wore her hair in a sleek ponytail
Getty Images
77/92
As she talked to members of OneWave she also wore a pink flower garland
Getty Images
78/92
Meghan wore a dress by Australian designer Dion Lee to attend a reception at Government House
Getty Images
79/92
To greet members of the public she covered up in a Martin Grant trench coat
Getty Images
80/92
With her hair styled into relaxed waves
Getty Images
81/92
For a trip to the beach Meghan changed into a Club Monaco dress
Getty Images
82/92
And opted for sensible black pumps by sustainable brand Rothy’s
Getty Images
83/92
Meghan arrived in Dubbo wearing a blazer by Serena Williams
AFP/Getty Images
84/92
And a pair of black jeans by ethical Australian brand Outland Denim
Getty Images
85/92
During a farm tour the duchess showed off an oversized white shirt by Kitsuné
Getty Images
86/92
Meghan changed into a Brandon Maxwell dress for an afternoon reception
Getty Images
87/92
Her hair was worn in a messy up-do
Getty Images
88/92
And accessorised with Princess Diana’s jewellery
Getty Images
89/92
During the Welcome Event at Admiralty House Meghan wore a white dress by Karen Gee
Getty Images
90/92
Meghan then wrapped up in a trench coat by Martin Grant to greet the public outside Sydney Opera House
AFP/Getty Images
91/92
She finished off the look with a pair of nude stilettos
Getty Images
92/92
And accessorised with a gold bangle that used to belong to Princess Diana
AFP/Getty Images
5 Boyfriend Mistakes You Don't Realize You're Making – AskMen
Five Boyfriend Mistakes You Don’t Realize You’re Making (and How to Fix Them)
Relationships are complex beasts. Each one is unique to the two people in their specific couple, the sum total of all the moments they’ve spent together, the life lessons they’ve learned along the way, the secret thoughts that each produces in the other.
But relationships also tend to follow certain patterns.
If they didn’t, most of stand-up comedy as we know it would be immediately obsolete, for starters. And secondly, relationship advice would be all but impossible.
Luckily for our purposes, that’s not the case. Unluckily, however, the pattern this article is discussing is dynamics guys often don’t realize they’re participating in in their relationships.
Yes, your real blind spots are the things you don’t know that you don’t know. If you know you don’t know something, you can work on it and make headway, like any problem-solving attempt. But if you don’t know you don’t know something, you’re just going to wander around, blissfully ignorant, until it’s too late.
If you’re lucky, the too-late moment will be a tough talk or a long, drawn-out fight and not a full breakup. But just in case, you’d better read on to cover your bases.
1. Microcheating
It’s 2 a.m. and you’re liking your ex’s selfie from three months ago. You’re shamelessly flirting with a coworker who you haven’t yet told that you’re taken. One of your friends sends you a nude and you respond with a heart-eyes emoji. What’s going on? That’s microcheating! It’s behavior where you repeatedly engage in small acts of envelope-pushing and boundary-breaking that aren’t technically cheating but are clearly done in a kind of cheat-y spirit.
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How To Fix It: First and foremost, you should speak honestly with your partner (earlier rather than later) about what they consider OK and what they don’t. A certain degree of flirtation outside the relationship is normal and healthy for most people, but if you’re doing it a lot without your partner’s knowledge or consent, that’s a problem. If you’re willing to confront the reality that your behavior is harmful even if it hasn’t necessarily hurt anyone yet, you should be able to cut it out through a frank conversation and some honest self-evaluation and boundary-setting.
2. Improper Use Of The ‘L’ Word
“I love you” is a weird sentence. It’s just three little words; three syllables, eight letters. But it contains immense power. Considering that, it’s best not to be careful in how we use it, neither to use it frivolously, nor to hide it away and pretend it can’t be said. “I love you” isn’t just a statement of feeling, it’s also a promise. What’s special about romantic love isn’t just its intensity, it’s also its enduring nature and uniqueness. “I love you” means “I’ll be here next month, holding your hair back while you vomit after you get food poisoning.” “I love you” means “You are the one I choose, and your best friend does not entice me one bit.”
How To Fix It: Don’t say “I love you” too early! If you have strong feelings for someone you’re not even dating yet, that’s called infatuation. It can be hard to know the difference, so as a rule of thumb, don’t say it unless you’re in a relationship. If you are dating, circumstances will vary from couple to couple, but a good rule of thumb is to give a relationship a few months before saying it, and then say it fairly regularly thereafter. “I really like you, a lot” is a great placeholder, in the meantime.
3. Not Doing Emotional Labor
You might not know what the phrase “emotional labor” means, but it’s definitely occurring in your relationship, and if you’re dating a woman, it’s likely that she’s doing more of it. Simply put, emotional labor is the work of making sure the people you care about feel happy, safe and cared for through your words and actions, and most guys aren’t taught how to do it growing up, so if you’re not stellar at it, it’s not necessarily your fault.
How To Fix It: First off, read up on the subject of emotional labor a little bit. Depending on your partner’s familiarity with the concept, they might be aware of the term or not, but when one person is putting in less emotional labor, the other person can usually feel it. The good news is, if you don’t have a ton of experience with emotional labor, there’s nowhere to go but up! Start working harder at asking your partner how they’re doing and being thoughtful about their wants and needs and watch what happens.
4. Avoiding Friends & Family
Relationships can feel airtight sometimes — like a chamber that only has room for two people. You’re crazy about them, they’re crazy about you, and all you want to do is [have sex/go on dates/binge-watch TV/build pillow forts/etc.] But the truth is, spending time in groups of people that aren’t just the two of you is healthy and important for the relationship to work out in the long term. Not only that, but meeting your partner’s closest people will give them context for understanding you and your motivations if the two of you ever go through a rough patch.
How To Fix It: Once the relationship’s past the first few weeks and still going well, you should be putting in work not only to meet and get along with your partner’s friends and family, but introducing them to your own. Host a get-together, go on double-dates, do dinner with their parents — approach the relationship you have as something to show off, not something to keep hidden away. That kind of attitude will let your partner know that you care about them as a whole person, not just for how they make you feel one-on-one.
5. Mistaking “Emotional” For “Crazy”
Most guys have either said this or heard this about a woman: “She’s crazy, dude.” It’s a sort of male shorthand from one guy to another that communicates that she’s a hassle, stressful, incapable of being chill, over-emotional. It’s that last one that’s of particular interest here, because most of the time, “She’s crazy, dude” just means this: “She has emotions about stuff that I don’t understand and don’t like.”
How To Fix It: If you catch your partner reacting strongly to something (particularly if it’s something you did) and your instinct is to think, “She’s crazy,” it’s worth investigating whether what she really is is experiencing valid, normal and healthy emotions about something you don’t fully understand. Instead of calling her crazy, ask her what’s up. Men are taught to hide their emotions and not really talk about them, but that’s a terrible approach to healthy relationships. Get real about the issue with her and you might start to understand the issue after all.
