Relationships Talk

“thank u, next.”

Love is a mysterious fig. Especially in high school.

At least we have Ariana Grande to help us get through the tough times with her own self-empowering wisdom on the subject.

Still, we felt we needed a little something more, like practical advice on how much to spend on a date, where to go and the best way to balance dating with study.

That’s why we decided to ask our members the most pressing dating questions, like…

“What are your high school dating tips? How early is too early to start dating? Where do you recommend going for a first date? How much should you spend? Did you have to break-up with your high school GF/BF? Why? Were you dumped? How did you cope? Did your relationship go through a rocky period after graduating or during exams? Did the relationship recover?”

Okay, not all of the advice we received was helpful, and we couldn’t rightfully co-sign some of the suggestions that came through (like actual submissions “Don’t ever get a girlfriend they ruin your life,” and “BE HOT”).

There were also disputes over the best time to start dating, and whether or not your first date should be full of distractions to keep it from becoming awkward or an uninterrupted get-to-know-you sesh.

So, take this advice in the spirt it was intended: to let you know that no one really has this dating thing figured out, but plenty have been through it before, so you’re not alone. Even Ariana’s just doing her best.

Here are our favourite 15 dating tips.

• Let her pick the movie, no matter how bad it is.

  Zethery B from QLD

• Do not go to the movies on a first date! First dates are made for getting to know one another, to explore common interests and to begin to familiarise yourself with some differences (which you can’t do whilst watching a movie unless you’re going to dinner afterwards). First dates should be for deciphering whether or not someone is a possible future partner.

  Nhi H from VIC

• Where do you recommend going for a first date? How much should you spend? Somewhere you can do an activity so you’re not too focused on each other (if things get awkward), but also where you have a chance to have a chat and get to know each other. Activities like mini golf are perfect because you can have fun while doing it but can also sit down afterwards and have a good conversation. This also wouldn’t break the bank.

  Kate D from WA

• The best place to go on a first date is somewhere where you and your potential partner can get to know each other. A movie theatre for example is not a great first date because it doesn’t allow for that much bonding through communication. Go out to dinner, bowling, the park or to a music concert as some examples. If you can enjoy each other’s company while being in an environment where it’s comfortable to talk, then this is a great way to grow intimacy and find out what you have in common. In terms of how much money should be spent on a first date: enough to buy yourself and your lady a meal and an ice cream after.

  Sam N from WA

• My high school dating tip is always split payments at the end of a date. Pay for yourself. It starts the relationship on an equal platform. Also, don’t ever feel pressured to do stuff or feel like you need to change who you are for a guy. If he’s the right guy, or even just a good guy then he won’t push you and he won’t need you to change. He will like you for you. One last thing: if he doesn’t treat his mother right, get outta there.

  Estelle M from QLD

• During my Year 12 exams my relationship did get slightly rocky at times due to the immense amounts of stress on both ends of the relationship. However, having a special someone who can relate to your struggles and can understand with a deeper knowledge due to going through the same struggle means he or she may be more capable to encourage you and make you feel calmer. It is always good to have good social support systems whilst going through exams or just tackling assignments in general. However, it is very vital to also set aside a few boundaries such as labelling certain priorities at times in order to keep on task and be productive instead of being a distraction to your partner or vice versa. I believe there are always pros and cons to everything but through this exam period, for me, I would not have been able to get through without my boyfriend.

  Chloe L from VIC

• During Year 12, keep a level of separation; you don’t need to be in each other’s presence 100 per cent of the time. Year 12 is stressful: keep distance and allow time for yourself. That said, DON’T LET PEOPLE TELL YOU IT’S BAD TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP IN YEAR 12. It can be done and sometimes great when you have a person with you for the ride to help.

  John K from SA

• Don’t get in a relationship in Year 12. If you do get broken up with, surround yourself with friends who will cuddle you and do things you love to distract you. P.S. Perfect first date 100% Laser Tag. Show him who’s boss!

  Tara C from VIC

• When dating in high school, it is so important to remember that the world you’re building is bigger than your relationship. If something goes wrong or if you break up, you have so much to look forward to, so many new people to meet and so many new more things to do. Surround yourself with people who love and support you and want to help make your world better.

  Michelle S from SA

• My main high school dating tip is to never take things too seriously. You are still young and there is so much to learn and it is okay to make mistakes. Never force yourself to do anything that you are not comfortable or are not ready to do.

  Marie C from NSW

• Enjoy the moments you have with them. Don’t take it too seriously, because love is very fleeting especially teenage romances.

  Christine L from WA

• Never change for anyone! It’s so easy to forget that there’s someone out there for everyone and you should always do what feels right for yourself! There’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right person to devote your time to because it’ll all be worth it in the end! When you know, you know!

  Cassidy H from QLD

• I never really believed in horoscopes or dating clichés. For me, the best dating advice is you’ll know you’re with right person if it feels right. Dating should be easy and fun. If you guys are arguing and yelling at each other all the time, then perhaps it’s time to reconsider.

  Anne G from VIC

• Firstly, keep your relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend separate from your circle of friends; meaning, don’t be overly affectionate while in the group, as that can get a bit awkward for everyone. Not only that but oversharing your personal moments on social media can not only be annoying for everyone but also makes your friends who aren’t in relationships feel worse about their situation, seeing you guys happy 24/7. Communication is key to a successful relationship. This is why if an issue comes up along the way, don’t talk to your friends or a third person about it before your partner. One of the worst things is when your boyfriend/girlfriend has problems with you but hasn’t addressed them to you first.

  Iccha S from NSW

• I got dumped beginning of Year 12. My boyfriend was older and was part of my closest friends group at church. He broke up as it would be too much stress during HSC time and also because he needed to mentally and spiritually grow more. I respect his decision even if I didn’t cope all that well at first. But once I’d realised that there’s other people in the world and I needed to focus on the ones who did love and care for me, life became more positive. I went from living off tubs of ice cream to going on runs and cooking fun, healthy meals. A good way of coping is to do some physical activity with a close friend; one you can open up to and talk to and laugh with whilst also keeping active so you too feel good inside and out.

  Crystal P from NSW

Good luck out there! And remember…

Header Image: YouTube (Ariana Grande)