Relationships Talk

My lifestyle in Southeast Asia is barefoot, barefaced, and bare-hearted.

As a full-time traveler living out of a backpack, I don’t have much space to hoard appearance-enhancing products. Living in the extremely humid heat of Southeast Asia doesn’t really bode well for a full face of makeup, anyway. Every time I go outside, I learn that I can sweat from a different spot on my face—like the inner corner of my eye. Gross, I know. I rock a serious sweat stash sometimes, and when combined with concealer, it’s the perfect recipe for dreadful upper-lip pimples.

While traveling, I decided to stop wearing makeup every day to give my skin a chance to breathe. I’d been stuck in a vicious cycle of sweating through the makeup I wore to cover blemishes and acne scars, which just resulted in more and more pimples. Nonetheless, it was a process to cut back on my makeup use: My skin is acne-prone, and I’m still embarrassed to walk around with exposed zits. But I’ve noticed that by not wearing makeup, I actually have fewer pimples, and they heal much faster. I use natural skin care, which has resulted in my skin becoming healthier and younger-looking.

Not wearing makeup has forced me to be more vulnerable and rawly myself—blemishes, scars, dark spots, oily skin, and all. It’s been a test of self-love to present myself in my fully natural and unaltered form without cover-ups or enhancements. Wearing no makeup has been a tool for me to accept and embrace my “flaws.”

This isn’t to say I’ve gone totally makeup-free. I occasionally wear makeup if I know I’ll be photographed. I prefer natural-looking makeup, so the cosmetics I do own are pretty simple—brown eyebrow gel, waterproof lengthening mascara for my short and stick-straight lashes, liquid black eyeliner, concealer, powder, a few colors of berry and red lipsticks. None of these products last long in Southeast Asia’s humidity. Can you imagine how hideous it is to whisk sweat away from your brow and smear brown goo all over your forehead? It looks like you’ve shaved a slit in your brow hair like Vanilla Ice. Not a good look for me. Even my waterproof mascara and liquid eyeliner can’t last in this kind of heat.

The one time I absolutely refuse to wear makeup? On first dates. Terrifying, right? Let me explain.

My ex was one of those men who says he prefers women without makeup. This is the worst. I didn’t ask him whether he preferred women with or without makeup. To that unsolicited advice, I say, “Thank you, next.” Many men think it’s flattering to tell women that they prefer them without makeup, but it really isn’t. Instead, it’s just pressure to be naturally flawless.

Most men also have no idea what no makeup actually looks like. I’ve had male friends tell me that Kim Kardashian is a natural beauty. They’re clueless about contouring and the zillions of products that go into her daily look, which they think is a bare face. Like all women, she looks great with or without makeup, but men can rarely tell the difference, as long as the color palette is neutral.

It would make me actually laugh out loud when my ex-boyfriend would tell me I looked better without makeup. The only time he ever complimented my appearance was when I was wearing makeup. I hardly ever felt beautiful around him.

I’ve been single for about a year and have slowly started dating again. I want the next person I’m romantically involved with to fully accept and love me at face-value, literally.