I'm in a dating slump? Any advice to get me fired up again?
Click Here for the Post https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/im-in-a-dating-slump-any-advice-to-get-me-fired-up-again-alnpt/Allana Pratt Relationship Intimacy Expert suggests something kinder than a “kick in the seat”…
Question: Coach Allana, I feel like I’m in a real dating slump. How can I give myself a kick in the seat to get back out there and date?
Answer: I appreciate your question and thank you for reaching out. I’m also inspired that you’re taking action wanting to shift out of your slump.
May I be straight love?
I don’t believe slumps are either bad or good… they are simply a part of you piping up… trying to tell you something. They don’t need to be kicked 😉 They’re telling you that there’s a reason why you are procrastinating or feeling depressed or hopeless. And that part of you that’s asking to be heard, loved and healed in a lasting way… not be kicked in the seat! They need to be scooped up in your arms and listened to… we wouldn’t kick a child if it was sad, right?
A lot of us haven’t been taught how to navigate intense emotions.
A lot of us haven’t been taught how to be with somebody and just listen and not fix them.
A lot of us have been judged (or even kicked) by somebody who is uncomfortable with our feelings.
Thus when we feel anything other than happy and good… and we resist ourselves!
And the distance we create between ourselves and the uncomfortable emotion… is the same distance we create from those we choose to date. Another way of saying that is when we are emotionally unavailable to ourselves, we attract emotionally unavailable partners. Or the more we hide from our truth, the more we will hide from showing up in the world.
The inner always creates the outer. Make sense?
So how do you change it and get back into that natural authentic expansive open hearted state so as to enjoy the process of dating while also enjoying the perks of being single until you meet your ideal partner?
One of the keys is being totally at peace and content with being alone.
Another is learning to love the part of you that is lonely and wobbly… and not judging that aspect.
Another part is learning to navigate intense emotions so that you can do so in a relationship, stay present and be an outstanding vulnerable listener.
I encourage you to strive to be someone completely safe to be authentic with, someone who so easy to be around that you awaken the best in another, someone who really sees their partner for who they are without judgment.
I have compiled what I believe to be the 7 key steps that build upon one another that create a solid intimate relationship with self, with your body and sexuality, with the Divine and Life, that unequivocably leads to a sacred relationship with an ideal beloved.
Long-term lasting change just doesn’t occur being motivated from fear… it happens through being inspired by love…notice that part of you that knows that to be true.
So again while I appreciate your desire to kick yourself in the seat…xox I’d rather you heal your heart, develop courage and expand your resilience…
for those are deeply attractive inspiring qualities that any conscious partner will appreciate and admire.
Humongous love, Allana XOX
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Deliciously yours, Allana xoxo
