Relationships Talk

Leo

Birthday: July 23-August 22

Type: Fixed fire sign

Key words: Loyal, brave, creative, dramatic, charismatic

Love Anthem: “I Like It” – Cardi B, Bad Bunny & J Balvin

Famous Leo men: Barack Obama, Shawn Mendes, Chris Hemsworth, Jason Momoa, Dylan Sprouse, Cole Sprouse, Andy Samberg

Best matches:

Leos love being coddled and having their egos stroked, so flirtatious, romantic Libra is a great match! Kingly Leo is attracted to someone who’s just as vibrant and unique as they are, so Aries is a wonderful match, too. They’re both bold and brash, and their fire sign compatibility is out of this world!

Leo is the most dazzling, expressive sign in the Zodiac—it’s no surprise he’s ruled by the Sun, the biggest, brightest, object in the sky and the center of the solar system. This fixed fire sign is a constant source of warmth and affection for you, like a benevolent king is loyal to his subjects. He demands to be treated like royalty, but reciprocates right back. The better he feels, the better everyone else feels. Keep him happy, and you’ll feel as extravagant and luxurious as he does!

[/twitter]

This frisky, playful guy is downright cat-like. He lives life on his own terms, and confidently so, following no one’s rules or timeline but his own. Your Leo lover is very assured in his convictions, and you can tell by his demeanor that he knows he’s the shit–absolutely no one can tell him otherwise. Sure, this can come off as cocky, but done right, it’s also kind of hot. He has so much vitality coursing through him and an inferno of ideas that he has to express, it’s rare for him not to be an artist or athlete of some sort. Even on his very worst days, his vibe is warm and vibrant.

This lion is ruled by his heart, first and foremost. He goes for what he wants, as soon as he wants it, because he is convinced he can conquer any challenge. He doesn’t try to grab everyone’s attention 24/7 but he always does anyway. He takes care of his appearance, is a master at the art of conversation, and has a wild sense of humor—what’s not to love? Although he likes the steady affection from all his thirsty followers, he’s a fixed sign, which means he takes commitment very seriously. Despite showboating himself sometimes, he genuinely has a lot to offer and wants someone like him—loyal and undeniably original. He can sniff out dishonesty from a mile away, and nothing turns him off more than phoniness from others.

Men born under the Leo constellation are hopeless romantics, through and through. He’s the guy that wants to be a part of an Instagram couple, and he loves PDA. He’ll wine and dine you, buy you flowers, and take cute pics together, never shy to show off how great you are together. Natural performer that he is, everything becomes a show in your relationship. Even when you’re spending one-on-one time with him, the way he holds your hand and looks in your eyes before kissing you could win an Oscar!

Which is why if you want to date someone low-key, a Leo is probs not for you. He has one hell of a fragile ego and needs constant doting and affection to make things work. Again, you’ll be rewarded with epically romantic gestures on his end, but if you never care for that kind of stuff anyway, it might not be worth the effort of dealing with his moods and need for validation.

Like the Sun, everything revolves around him, and you have to stay in his orbit too! Getting him to see things from your perspective is work, and it can feel like it’s his way or the highway, with his being a fixed, stubborn sign and all. Call him out for his flaws, and you’ll be met with defensiveness and excuses as to why he didn’t do anything wrong. There’s also a part of him that is a shit-stirrer and lives for the drama, so if that sounds like a nightmare to you, approach this relationship carefully.

But if you’re smitten with a Leo, play along with his games, even if you roll your eyes while doing so, and let him feel like a royal. When you’re together, he knows that you know he’s not actually center of the universe, but is too proud to ever admit it. Humoring him goes a long way, whether it’s with his need to be top priority, or by going along with his cheesy, romantic ways of acting around you. He has an inflated ego, yes, but he also has the biggest heart. He’s huge on trust and commitment and love, and if you can secure a relationship with him, he’ll shower you in more affection than you know what to do with.

Follow Jake on Instagram.

Dear Boss,

My new boss started here in January. My co-workers and I are upset and concerned over her complete lack of boundaries. It hasn’t gotten better as time goes on. I could write you a novel about all the stuff she does, but here are just a few examples to show what I mean:

1) My boss told us she’s trying to lose weight, and her goal is to lose over half her weight. She says my co-workers and I have to keep her accountable and make sure she stays on track. One time she was upset with the five of us for not “calling her out” when she had a doughnut with her lunch. If she strays away from her diet, she expects us to say something to her — but when one of my co-workers saw her eating a chocolate bar and reminded her about her diet, she got upset with him. None of us are comfortable with this because we can’t win, whether we say something or not.

2) Related to her diet, she told my co-worker Jane to write down everything she (Jane) eats and what she does at the gym because my boss wants to weigh the same as Jane does. Jane isn’t a dietician or personal trainer, and she has no experience with this kind of thing. Jane told us she doesn’t want to do this, that she thinks it’s off-putting and invasive, but our boss won’t take no for an answer. She has mentioned she wants everyone to shop for clothes together after she loses weight.

3) Our boss had a meeting with all of us because she wanted help with her online dating profiles, and she asked the men on our team what she could do to be more appealing. She has asked us about this more than once.

4) Our boss, my co-workers, and I all live alone. None of us have any children or dependents. All of us are single except one of my co-workers, Mark, who is moving in with his girlfriend next month. When our boss found out, she hid in her office for the rest of the day. At one of the mandatory after-hours bar trips she puts on for us, she cried and said Mark was breaking up our “single people’s club” and said over and over that she didn’t know his relationship was serious. She talks all the time about wanting marriage and kids.

5) She has all of our personal phone numbers and calls us at home after work and on weekends.

She should know better because she’s the director of HR. I could make a list of all the ways she crosses the line. If anyone says anything to her or doesn’t do what she wants, she gets upset.

She calls us her family and as you can see from the examples above, she gets way too personal with everyone. It is way over the line. No one is sure about going over her head to her boss because she reports to our VP of Operations. I have talked to my co-workers and no one wants to get fired for standing up to her or saying no to her requests. She doesn’t like it when we don’t go along with her.

Your boss is a nightmare.

You can’t make your co-workers assert themselves in the face of all this boundary-crossing, but you can set your own boundaries and stick to them.

That means:

1) When she asks you to “keep her accountable to her diet,” say something like, “Oh, I could never do that” or “I wouldn’t feel comfortable commenting on someone else’s food” or “I try not to think about dieting like that so I can’t help, sorry!” Say it in a brisk, matter-of-fact tone like of course she’ll accept that because any reasonable person would, and then change the subject. (She’s not reasonable, but using that tone can be surprisingly effective.)

2) If she asks you for help with her online dating profile or for dating advice, say, “Oh gosh, I wouldn’t have the first idea. But I wanted to ask you about [work-related topic].” If she pushes, then say, “To be honest, I prefer to keep that stuff outside of work. Thanks for understanding!”

3) If she hides in her office and cries because someone has a significant other, ignore it.

4) If she talks about your “single’s people’s club,” ignore it.

5) If she talks about wanting marriage and kids, make vague noises like “mmm hmmm” and then change the subject.

6) If she calls you at home after work or on the weekend, don’t answer. Consider blocking her number or labeling it “don’t answer” in your phone. If she asks you about it later, say you often turn your phone off at night and over the weekend.

Ideally in this situation you’d be able to have a conversation with her, where you explain the boundaries you prefer to have at work. You could possibly do that here, but so far all signs point to her being an emotional child who won’t be able to handle that, or someone who will cry and sulk if you say something. Frankly, it might be fine for her to cry and sulk as long as she eventually pulls it together, but she sounds so juvenile that I worry if you’re the only one who calls her out, she’ll take her displeasure out on you in ways that will be bad for you professionally.

In fact, I’m concerned about her retaliating against the actions I just advised you to do as well, except you have far less of a choice there — it’s not a tenable solution to write her online dating profile and shop for clothes with her and take her evening phone calls, so you’ve got to put up those boundaries now. It just may not make sense to have the Big Conversation about boundaries as well, as opposed to being matter-of-fact about how you will not get involved, and just going about your business.

I do think you should consider talking to her boss, if you know her boss to be a generally reasonable person. A decent manager would be horrified to hear what your boss is doing and would intervene. You said no one wants to get her fired, but companies don’t usually fire managers on the spot for this kind of behavior — it’s far more likely that her boss will just talk to her and tell her to cut it out (and then she’ll probably sulk for a while and act terribly hurt, which is fine; you can ignore that).

But ultimately there’s no magic wand here. You’ve got to decide if you’re willing to set boundaries (on your own, if your co-workers won’t join you). If you’re not comfortable with confronting her, please know there’s no shame in that — sometimes with a boss who’s this out of her mind, it’s easier to just roll your eyes but not push back too much. You’re allowed to choose that path if it seems like the best one for you. But if you do want to try to push back, this has the most chance of success.

Order Alison Green’s book, Ask a Manager: Clueless Colleagues, Lunch-Stealing Bosses, and the Rest of Your Life at Work, here. Got a question for her? Email askaboss@nymag.com. Her advice column appears here every Tuesday.

Cancer

Birthday: June 21-July 22

Type: Cardinal water sign

Key words: Emotional, nurturing, protective, intuitive, sentimental

Love anthem: “The Shallow” – Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper

Famous Gemini men: Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Hanks, Jaden Smith, Post Malone, Pauly D, Nick Offerman, Milo Ventimiglia, Vin Diesel

Best matches:

Best Matches: When it comes to a perfect match for Cancer, Scorpio easily takes the cake. The two water signs share emotional compatibility and a lot of similar values when it comes to security, trust, and commitment. Taurus is another great match for Cancer—both are slow-moving, loyal, and love to get comfy and cozy. The Moon’s fave sign is Cancer, but its second fave is Taurus, so they share that lunar connection as well.

As the first water sign of the Zodiac, Cancer is intuitive and sensitive, and as a cardinal sign, he’s motivated to make intimate emotional connections that promise to last. At first, this shy guy probably can’t even look your way without blushing and turning away. He’s prone to overthinking things and might not be able to approach you, but if you make the first moves, he’ll hold on tight and do anything for you. Cancer is incredibly nurturing, committed, and protective of his loved ones, and does everything in his power to make sure you’re comfortable and feel safe with him.

Your Cancer boy is the king of cuddle puddles. He’s ruled by the Moon, which in astrology represents feelings, and one’s inner self. As a result, he’s sweet, romantic, and a total softie. If you like to spend quiet evenings with your boo on the couch, watching Netflix and resting your head on his shoulder, look for a Cancer! He loves to spend time at home as opposed to lots of traveling and socializing. Crabs live in their shell, and carry their home on their back wherever they go. They’re slow-moving critters, too. Your Cancer man is the same—he’s a homebody, and a relationship with him moves along gently and steadily, with no alarms or surprises.

Being a water sign, there’s an abundance of emotion in his soul and he needs to feel comfortable enough to express his feelings with you. He takes trust and commitment very seriously, needing a lot of reassurance and open communication. Sure, he’s a great listener and is amazingly receptive, but actively expressing his own emotions isn’t the easiest. Without encouragement from you, he can keep his feelings bottled up. But if you invite him to open up, he’ll share a rainbow of emotions with you!

Cancer wants a relationship that feels like home, so there’s a certain amount of security he requires. Hookups aren’t really his thing, because he knows that if he’s physically intimate with someone, he catches feels quick. And, in general, it’ll take you a while to get out of the talking phase with him, but once he feels safe, he’s committed. Sexually, he’s a true romantic above anything else, and looks for intimate and erotic moments to get him going. Sex is slow, with lots of body contact and emotional connection, mirroring the overall relationship.

Of course, this abundance of emotion can backfire when he’s not in a good mood. His sensitivity and need for assurance can make him really needy and draining at times. And yes, while his commitment to you is obviously a huge plus, the flip side to that is it can turn to clinginess. You might struggle to do anything by yourself, and when you address it, he might take it the wrong way and think you just don’t like him. So look for a Cancer who has a strong passion or hobby outside of his relationships (a good rule of thumb for all partners, TBH).

He also can get very passive and quiet. He’ll follow your lead and is very compliant in providing you with what you want, but won’t speak up if he feels neglected (even if his feelings of being ignored are just a wistful by-product of his eternal moodiness). Instead, he recedes further into his shell, and if you aren’t able to coax him out fast enough, he might lash out with those claws of his.

This guy has a lot of walls and only lets them down when he’s 100 percent sure he can trust you, so open up! When he’s ready to go to the next level in your relationship, he will, but pushing him out of his comfort zone in any way is a big no-no. If you’re together, he’ll put his heart in your hands, so be extra careful with it! Ragging too much on the parts of himself he’s insecure about is a surefire way to start drama. He’s full of love and will forgive you, but a Cancer never forgets. But if you’re looking for someone who you can be extra, unabashedly cheesy with, he’s your lobster, er, crab.

Follow Jake on Instagram.

A little over three years ago, the petite, platinum blonde enigma known as Poppy uploaded her first post on YouTube: one minute and 22 seconds’ worth of herself simply eating cotton candy. Whether or not there was any deeper meaning to that pastel pink repast remains unknown, though the response to the video alone, which has racked up 3.5 million views to date, led Poppy to upload hundreds and hundreds more. By now, there are 400,000,000 YouTube views on her channel.

As entertaining as clips of Poppy interviewing a plant and reading aloud the Bible are, Poppy’s videos have also found such an intrigued audience because they’re one of the only texts available to those looking for an answer to the central riddle of Poppy: Is Poppy even human?

The Poppy who “come[s] from the internet” might not be, but the 23-year-old Poppy who described her avatar’s origins as such on a recent afternoon is most definitely living and breathing—an accomplishment for anyone, really, who’d just flown in from a few days of partying at Art Basel Miami Beach. Perched on the edge of a couch and clutching a pale blue phone case that she’d covered in kawaii beads herself, Poppy maintained her usual poise, but also spoke in a notably less robotic and slightly deeper voice than the one so familiar to her followers. (The video of her simply repeating “I’m Poppy” for 10 minutes has nearly 19 million views.)

But that was hundreds of videos ago, and there was a much more pressing one on her plate: a three-part holiday gift guide series she produced for W (you can see the first video above), featuring champagne sabers and selfie drones (with the usual sense of disquiet unique to Poppy). As usual, she was working in tandem with the musician-director Titanic Sinclair, who’d also been with her in Miami—and pretty much everywhere she’s gone for the past year. Oh, and he’s also the only person Poppy follows on Instagram—at least on her main account. Learn more about her finsta, exes, and other IRL matters of interest she opened up about while answering W‘s Social Q’s, here.

Do you remember your first Instagram?

It was a shorter version of the Poppy Eats Cotton Candy video that I put up on YouTube. It seems to be a lot more popular recently, but I don’t think a lot of people saw it when it was first posted.

You only follow one person, Titanic. How long has that been the case?

A little over a year now. When you only follow a smaller amount of people, you get to see all of their posts. And I try not to pay attention to what other people are doing—I try to just stay in my own world.

About how many did you follow before that?

Maybe 25? It was mostly just fashion brands that I like: Miu Miu, Chanel, and Rodarte. And Louis Vuitton, of course.

Do you have a finsta?

I do… but it’s a secret. Is that the name for it, finsta? I just call it my secret page. Now anyone listening to this will try to find me, but they can’t! All of my friends have secret pages, and I follow people, but I don’t have any followers on that account.

Which accounts do you look at, whether you follow them or not?

Tame Impala, Rick Owens, Jack White, Alison Mosshart from the Kills, Yoko Ono, Cornelius, and my producers. And I follow a lot of art galleries—my friend curates the Corey Helford Gallery in Los Angeles.

What about Marilyn Manson? I hear that you’re friends now.

Yeah, it’s very funny that that happened. He’s a wonderful person, and extremely intelligent—I think he and Titanic make sense as friends. [Laughs.]

As an expert in the field, what would you suggest giving him for the holidays?

Ooh, something scary. Maybe something dead, like some bones or something.

What are your tips for taking a good selfie?

I get my photos taken, but I don’t take a lot of selfies. I know what I look like, so I don’t think I need to save a bunch of photos that I took of myself or post them on the internet. I’ve posted them before, but it has to be a really good one.

Any tips for getting your photo taken, then?

You just gotta always be ready for it—and you better cover up your entire face and head if you’re not. But I suggest you wear makeup and have your hair done at all times.

Filter or #nofilter?

Well, filters make everything look better. So why not make everything look better?

What’s your favorite thing to post?

Photos from live performance; photos of my cat, Pi; and photos of places that I get to visit, like this one of me in Milan at the Duomo. We were there for Fashion Week, for Fendi, then we went to the Prada museum, which is really inspiring. That’s why I went to Art Basel. I’d like to have my own gallery show next year.

What type of art do you make?

I like to paint still life, but it’s as told by Poppy, so that’s what you get. [Laughs.]

Do you have any social media-related pet peeves?

I wish people could just post and forget about it, as opposed to checking back in. I’ve seen people become almost neurotic with obsessing over who’s checking their Instagram stories or liking their posts. Kanye West said there should be social media that exists where you can’t see the numbers, and I’m sure if that was to be made, people wouldn’t be neurotic about it.

Would you also want that to exist?

Yeah, I think it makes sense. I love social media, because without it, I wouldn’t be here. But everybody has a voice, and there’s a lot of people talking, so there’s a lot of room for error or misinformation. It’s like when you’re little and you play a game of Telephone—it starts out one way, and by the time it gets to the end of the line, it’s something completely different. It’s kind of like that multiplied by… well, however many people are on the internet. [Laughs.] Things always end up being morphed into things so far from their origins.

Do you find yourself constantly checking things, too, or have you always had more of a hands-off approach?

I feel like I’ve had a hands-off approach, because there’s so much in my life that I want to create, to entertain people. And if I’m constantly checking in on what other people’s opinions are, that would weigh into what I’m creating. It might steer me off my path of intention.

Do you ever read the comments?

I used to, but now there’s too many. And I think now I have a very clear intention and vision for what I want, and I don’t want anybody else to distract me from that.

Do you ever read your DMs?

I do, but not on Twitter or Instagram—just on this site I’ve created called poppy.church. We have a chat room for the church’s “guardians,” who I handpick to protect it, and I always read their DMs.

Do you have any tips for sliding into someone else’s DMs?

It’s always nice to start with a compliment, and then you just see where it goes from there. I do it with different artists sometimes, when it seems right.

What about people you’re into romantically?

It’s funny to say, when I come from the internet, but no. I think when you’re trying to start a relationship online, it’s a little… it seems a little foreign to me. I know a lot of people do it, but I don’t think it’s for me.

Do you ever unfollow or block your exes?

I don’t really have any. Um, yeah…

I don’t really either.

[Laughs.]

Is there anything you would never post?

Photos of food. Unless it was cute food.

How come?

Because food’s boring.

How do you unplug?

I turn off all of the technology. You have to restart fresh in the morning, so I turn it off every night.

Everything? Do you have an alarm clock?

No, I just have a Poppy clock. My body wakes me up every day at 7 a.m.

Related: Poppy IRL: Meet the Internet’s Most Mysterious It Girl as She Takes New York Fashion Week by Storm