Category Archives: Dating Advice
This Relationship Expert Suggests How Scheana Shay Can Find the Right Guy – Bravo
Vanderpump Rules SURver Scheana Shay may appear too love hungry, but give her a break, she just wants to find true love like the rest of us. After divorcing her ex-husband, Mike Shay, she quickly moved on with Rob Valletta, who broke up with her after the season ended, as she revealed at the Season 6 reunion.
That left her starting off Season 7 single, which for Scheana is a good place to start. Jax Taylor agrees. He discussed her ever-evolving love life on The Daily Dish podcast, calling her a “hopeless romatic” who should maybe take a step back from dating for a quick sec.
“I think Scheana’s just in a place right now where she’s just — and I love Scheana, this is nothing against her at all, she’s a great friend and she’s very sweet — I think she’s just a hopeless romantic, maybe co-dependent, just wants to be in a relationship, she jumps from relationship to relationship to relationship to relationship and it’s just kind of like, dude, chill, take a moment, you know,” Jax said. “I feel bad because these guys I feel like are not in it for the right reasons and she just wants to settle down, she’ll just take whatever… and it’s sad to see, because you want to see her be happy, but she keeps finding the wrong guys… I mean, I don’t know how many she’s going to have to run through to figure it out.”
In the time it took to type this, there’s even been an off-camera update on Scheana’s love life. She’s been hanging out with fellow SURver Adam Spott, who she tried to set Brittany Cartwright up with in the wake of Jax’s cheating scandal last season. Is your head spinning yet?
About the two, Scheana recently told Us Weekly: “We’re always together. He’s my favorite person to be with. I don’t even know if we know … We’re hanging out. Yeah, but he’s still my best friend.”
OK, let’s back it up. Personal Space called in a relationship expert to explain that not every guy is the guy — and what we can do to slow down a bit and recognize when the right one does come along.
Relationship expert April Masini has seen this behavior before — hopping from relationship to relationship without even stopping to think what it is you truly want or need. She gives Scheana (and all single girls) some advice:
1. Be careful with the L word
“Don’t say it too soon,” Masini said. “Scheana seems to have a habit of being free and easy when it comes to expressing her feelings. And that’s normally great. But the L word carries special weight. It implies commitment, and it also begs a response. When you say, ‘I love you,’ to someone and they don’t say it back, there is no greater awkward moment. Likewise, if someone says it to you, and you’re just not feeling it, they’ve created a burden for you because they’re awaiting a positive response — and you just don’t have it for them. So, wait until you’ve been dating long enough to know there is a commitment, before using that four letter word.”
2. Don’t bend friendship
“Friends don’t sleep together. And while it’s common to refer to a boyfriend or girlfriend as a best friend, for many people, like Scheana, this is a trap. If you’re sleeping with someone and calling the relationship ‘friendship,’ you’re pulling the wool over your own eyes. The problem with bending friendship by adding sex, is that many people do this to leverage a romantic relationship. They think that sex means love — and it doesn’t. It just means sex. If Scheana can separate friendship from sex, she won’t confuse herself by thinking that a friend she is sleeping with is actually a romantic partner.”
3. No sex just yet
“Early hookups are not the road to long-term relationships. Spontaneity is awesome, but if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, hooking up is not the way to start one. Hookups are easy. They’re fun. But they don’t resonate serious relationship. They’re for people who are not looking into the future. If you want a serious relationship, date like you are. Get to know someone before jumping into bed with them. This sends a message to your partner — and yourself — that you’re not here for the sex, you’re here for the long run. Early hookups are confusing to everyone involved.”
4. Know what you’re looking for
“Beyond someone cute and available,” Masini continued. “This is especially true if you have a divorce under your belt. Own the mistakes you made in the relationship that failed, and be clear about what will work for you, and what you have to offer. Don’t marry a non-working actor and expect them to be a breadwinner. Don’t marry someone who wants kids when you don’t, hoping they’ll change. Know yourself, and know what you want in a partner. And don’t date people who you know are cute and hot — but not right for you, if you want a long-term relationship.”
5. Look into their lives
“Get to know your partner’s friends and family before you get too serious. They are going to be indicators of who this person is — beyond what you already know from dating. Do your homework. If your partner doesn’t speak to his or her parents, and the reasons seem random, beware. If your partner has a history of relationships that crash and burn in flames, beware. And if your partner’s friends have poor character or are not people you can see yourself being friends with, beware.”
Personal Space is Bravo’s home for all things “relationships,” from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.
How To Tell If Your Interview Went Well And If You're Likely To Receive A Job Offer – Forbes
Interviewing is similar to dating, as both activities involve trying to find out if the other person likes you and the interest is mutual. You fantasize whether or not this new opportunity has the potential to turn into a committed relationship. On a date, you’re on your best behavior and struggle to read the signs to see if the other person views you as an attractive partner. After the date, countless hours will be spent nervously obsessing over analyzing every detail and asking friends their opinions based upon your interpretation of the date.
I’m sorry that I won’t be much help with dating advice, as I’ve been married for over 20 years and have the home, two kids, dogs and cats. On the positive side, I will gladly assist you with interpreting all the signs, language and actions to determine if the interviewer likes you and is inclined to offer you the job.
When it comes to interviewing, there are a number of buy signals that indicate the hiring manager is into you and seriously considering you for the job. Here are some important signs to watch out for to figure out if you did well in the interview and are likely to receive an offer.
People tend to make a snap judgement when you first meet them. This holds true in our personal and professional lives. You can notice right from the start if the interviewer likes you. Hiring managers are regular people. They’re not trained in interviewing techniques and aren’t great at hiding their feelings.The way the interviewer initially looks at you, the handshake and the initial small talk are all clues. Do you feel genuine warmth or is the person cold and impersonal? Are they gracious and offer an engaging smile or do they come off as this is just a matter of business? If you get the vibe that the interviewer has an immediate bond, that is a good first signal.
Once the interview starts, if you notice a fluid transition into a casual conversation that veers away from the traditional uptight back and forth, then it is a sign that the hiring manager is interested and warming up to you. If you start finishing each other’s sentences and view things in the same light, it reflects that the relationship is heading in the right direction. If the interviewer stops asking traditional questions (such as, “Tell me about your responsibilities? Why are you looking for a job? How did you come across our opening and what made you apply?”) and starts selling the virtues of working at their company, then it is going well. The more the interviewer talks, the better it is for you. This demonstrates their desire to get you excited about the position. If they talk about the benefits that the company has to offer, including a gym membership, 401k, health care, vacation policies and other amenities, it indicates that they’re trying to get you interested in working for their company.
If the interview was set for 30 minutes and you notice that it’s already 45 minutes into the conversation and there is no sense of them trying to wrap up the meeting, that means that the interviewer feels comfortable with you and wants to keep the discussions going to learn even more about you. “Do you have some more time?”, the interviewer will ask. “I’d like for you to speak with so-and-so.” Before you can even answer, they either pop out of the office to get so-and-so or pick up the phone to call them—this is a big buy sign. The interviewer is showing their cards, indicating that they like you, is highly interested and wants to get another opinion before you leave.
Listen closely for their choice of words. If it seems that the interviewer is using language describing what it would be like to work at the company such as, “You will be involved with X,Y and Z and work with Judy, who is super nice,” you are heading in a very good direction. When the manager segues into offering inside information about the people, problems and politics of the company, it reflects that they are bringing you into their confidence and trust that this might move forward.
“When could you start? How much notice do you have to give? Do you have any other interviews pending that you are close with? What are you looking for with respect to compensation?” and similar questions indicate that you have turned the corner and they are now feeling out the logistics of structuring an offer, ascertaining if there are other competitors seeking to hire you and what it will take to bring you aboard.
At this juncture, it is important to listen to how the interviewer starts closing out the meeting. If they offer a perfunctory “It was a pleasure meeting you and we’ll be in touch” without any accompanying specific time frame, it is not a good sign. However, if they show you around the office, point out people by name, describes what they do, offer a little color about them and shows where you would work, that is a big positive. If the office tour is followed by them saying, “Allow me to show you out” and walks out with you instead of just pointing to the “Exit” sign, it’s looking very good. If they offer to ride down with you, then they’re almost there.
You also want to hear them talk in specifics about the next steps. Interviews for mid-to-senior level professionals will last two-six months and require an applicant to meet with three to ten people. The odds of getting an offer on the spot is negligible, so don’t let it discourage you if you leave without one. What’s important to know is the next steps. If the hiring manager tells you, “It was great meeting with you. I really enjoyed our conversation and believe you would be a great fit,” followed by, “I would love for you to come back and meet with so-and-so,” and they continue to reference a bunch of people with important titles in different groups that you immediately forget, then things are looking good. Hopefully, it is followed by, “Christine in human resources will follow up with you to set up the meetings.” An extra plus is: “Here is my business card. Please feel free to call me if you have any questions or don’t hear back from Christine in a few days”.
After this first interview, there will be others. The following meetings will be with people from other groups that you may interact with, human resources and miscellaneous bodies thrown into the mix. These interviews are mainly conducted to validate the hiring manager’s initial decision to want to hire the person. If you come across as a smart, motivated, team oriented, non-confrontational and you can tell that they believe you, most likely they’ll give their okay to hire you.
If you experienced most of these signs then it is highly likely that the interview went very well and you stand a great chance of receiving a job offer.
Could this be the best day of the year to find love online? – MarketWatch
This is a date to remember.
If you’re hoping to meet someone new in 2019, mark your calendars for Sunday, Jan. 6. That’s the first Sunday after the new year — and each year, that Sunday is the day when dating sites say they see a peak in new singles logging on and looking for dates. Dating site Match MTCH, -0.70% , for example, says the first Sunday of the year is consistently the most trafficked day and predicts there will be a 69% spike in new singles coming to the app this year, and that over 1.5 million messages will be sent.
Last year was no different, with dating sites like Match and PlentyofFish telling Moneyish that the first Sunday after the new year typically sees a big spike in online daters both joining and engaging with one another. Indeed, Kate MacLean, a spokesperson for the dating site PlentyofFish, told Moneyish that the first Sunday may be the best day of the year to find love online.
Also see: Adding these 3 words to your online dating profile will land you more dates
Why is this day so popular? For one, Sundays are a particularly popular day for online dating. A spokesperson for Match tells Moneyish that may be due to “people actually having time to sit down and catch up on their lives on Sunday” and that Sundays are “a great way to plan the week ahead when it comes to potential dates.”
Plus, “the start of a fresh year symbolizes new beginnings, and singles may be feeling particularly excited and hopeful about the future,” MacLean says. “Also, after spending the holidays solo and/or with family, and being asked the dreaded question, ‘Why don’t you have a partner yet?’, many singles start off the year armed with a resolution to find love.”
While finding love is high on many people’s lists, be prepared for the cost: A Match survey of 5,500 singles found that they spend nearly $1,600 on dating every year, including everything from coffee to cocktails to food to clothing. Many people also pay for their online dating site or app subscription — which may explain why the online dating marketplace will be worth roughly $3.2 billion by 2020, according to MarketResearch.com.
No matter, it’s worth the money for many. Here’s how to make your profile stand out to get ahead of the pack.
Step one in that process: the photos, as these are often the first things a person sees. Relationship expert and author April Masini says that you should “decide what kind of image or brand you want to project, and then before posting, ask yourself if the images and posts you’re putting up reflect that intention.” Plus, you should consider a professional photo, she adds, noting that selfies are often a no-no. Moneyish has more tips on revamping your online dating profile here.
Once you’ve gotten noticed, conversation is the key to securing that in-person date. When you reach out, “don’t just say hey, hello or hi,” says Justin Lavelle, the chief communications officer for Been Verified, which helps you research people – as “approaching someone with one of these boring, traditional salutations will get you a measly response rate.”
Instead, ask about their interests after reading their profile: “You’ll have a higher chance of connecting with someone if you use phrases like, ‘curious what,’ … ‘noticed that,’ ‘good taste,’ and ‘you mention,” he says — all of which show you’ve looked at their profile and now are interested in them. But he adds, don’t write a too-long initial message — “‘Twitter-like’ messages, those that are 40 to 60 characters long, tend to have the highest response” — and make sure you use correct spelling and grammar.
This story was originally published in 2017 and has been updated.
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'Millionaire Matchmaker' to talk high-dollar dating in Pittsburgh – Tribune-Review
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