Relationships Talk

28 November 2018

As you enter your late 20s, social media feeds become full of engagements, wedding pictures and baby announcements. It seems like every day someone new is engaged or has something exciting to announce. But what happens if you’ve had the whirlwind romance, big white wedding, moved into your dream home and the realisation dawns that Mr. Right isn’t quite right? You might be able to work through it, or you might choose to separate. Getting divorced is never an easy time, but for young couples this can be particularly difficult.

Is it time to go your separate ways?

Inevitably, a young couple going through a divorce hasn’t been married for very long. Unhelpful (and, in my view, undeserved) feelings of failure and embarrassment can surface, particularly if family and friends have recently forked out for your wedding. This, coupled with daily reminders on social media that everyone else is getting engaged, the financial pressure of getting divorced, finding a new place to live and working out how to split your financial affairs, can make you feel completely overwhelmed. It is no surprise that separating couples’ mental health will suffer during this time – depression, heavy drinking and anxiety are just some of the issues which can arise as a result of a divorce. The Shaw Mind Foundation published in its study that on average it takes a year to recover from a close bereavement but two years to recover from a divorce.

My first advice is to ignore the image portrayed by Instagram and other social media platforms. You are not alone in needing to end a failing marriage: 42% of married couples find themselves divorcing. It is healthy to end an unhappy relationship, and you are doing the right thing. But what can be done to try and make the process less stressful and expensive? It’s no secret that a protracted and messy divorce battle is costly and means that neither spouse can move on with their lives for quite some time.

The ‘usual’ divorce process leads the separating couple down an adversarial road straight away, with both parties consulting different solicitors from day one. This framework creates an element of conflict which can have a damaging impact on the whole process and the couple’s mental health – much more than people realise.

There is another aspect which can exacerbate an already emotional situation, and that is the cost of divorce. The average divorce now costs £17,000- £30,000 – an amount which can seem insurmountable to a young couple. And if cases end up in court they can cost much, much more.

Whilst a stress-free divorce is near impossible, it is worth looking into your options to find a process that is less combative – from both a legal and financial perspective.

For example:

1. Mediation – since 2013, couples have been actively encouraged to consider this as a viable alternative. If you are a separating couple you must each now attend a mediation information meeting before you can make a court application. For many couples who engage in mediation, the process can be effective in reaching a quick settlement. The only disadvantage is that mediators cannot offer legal advice.

2. Another option is the service we offer at The Divorce Surgery, which short circuits the traditional route. Instead of appointing your own lawyers, one impartial and experienced family law barrister advises you both as to the way a court would view your case. This process takes around 6-8 weeks and the couple knows the total fee up front before they commit. The couple can then come to an agreement which is fair, armed with an understanding of what their legal rights are and what a court would consider is fair in their situation.

Ignore Instagram and Facebook. The healthiest response to an unhealthy relationship is to address what is wrong rather than putting on a brave face. Do what is right for you, and choose the way to divorce that works for you. One of these less adversarial routes might leave you in a much better position, emotionally and financially, to rebuild on the other side.

Samantha Woodham, Barrister and Co-Founder of The Divorce Surgery – helping separating couples cut straight to the answer so they can minimise the conflict, as well as save time and money.

via GIPHY

Ella Daniels – Dating lawyers is not something to be done lightly for more reasons than any of us might think, but we recently came across an article in law jobs site LawCrossings that caught our eye.

The problem is that of the 11 tips, only four –  five at most –   made any real sense to us.

It provided the 11 top tips on dating lawyers, apparently based on expert interviews from those who know about such matters, including lawyers.

But work out which of the tips are those that you could live by and which are simply giving in to someone whose yet to get his or her around having a workable relationship.

The 11 ‘Lawyer Dating’ Tips You Need to Know

1. Raise Your Awareness – aka ‘Get Used to It’

If you go in with a high level of awareness and can keep adjusting how you deal with the pressures, you’ll manage better in the end.

Law is a high pressure business, so get ready for the pressures it will bring if you’re about to embark on a legal career.  As if we didn’t know.

2. Admire – aka ‘Leave ’em to it

An odd one really, but here the suggestion is that lawyers earn big money doing a hard job and “sometimes you just have to leave them alone and let them get on to it.”

We’re not sure if that’s a tip exactly, or just an observation on a tough-ass job.

3. Get a Life – aka ‘Find other things to do’

“If you’ve ever had an urge to start a hobby, now’s the time,” the authors suggested.

Well, we don’t know what sort of commitment that is to making the relationship work, but hobbies are generally good and having what they call “structured activities” are also good so long as the relationship is structured properly as well.

Bonus Tip:  
We like hard facts
So if you think there’s a chance in hell we’re one of those people you can just float along ‘seeing’ for months and months, then think again. We want an actual relationship status and an anniversary date for the diary. Minimum.

Cosmopolitan

4. Get a Dog – aka ‘Find a real friend’

Look, we love dogs, but when you’re looking to build a relationship with someone, why are you also buying a dog, unless it’s a way to meet people and have them admire your cuddly four-legged friend when you’re really intent on cuddling your two-legged one.

5. Keep Your Own Company – aka ‘Only the Lonely’

“Be confident doing things alone -eating, shopping, catching a movie.”

Well, it’s getting depressing now because the tips all relate to being alone, or walking your new dog.  And loneliness was not part of the deal, even if you do have a wealthy lawyer in a so-called relationship.

6. Set Ground Rules – aka ‘Division of Labor’

A heavy workload doesn’t absolve your loved one of all responsibilities . .  Divide chores, and even stick a chart on the fridge detailing who does what -dorky, yes, but effective.

Work out a statement of expectations that each person can set priorities around. This includes time for each other. Plan a 15-minute phone conversation every afternoon. At first it may seem pathetic that you have to arrange this kind of thing, but it’ll give you both something to look forward to – a constant, which will be hard to come by these days.

7. Learn the Language – aka ‘Speak like a Lawyer’

Buy a copy of Merriam Webster’s Dictionary of Law. Each day, commit to memory one legal term. When your beleaguered spouse sloughs through the door at night, ask if she’d like her dinner in facie curiae or by herself. She’ll think it’s funny.

8 Show Some Interest – aka ‘Get Oriented’

Most law schools offer an orientation session for family members.

Frankly so do Gambling Anonymous, but we’re not sure if this is the way towards building a great relationship.  Besides, if you’re beyond law school, what orientation sessions then?  The boardroom drinks?

Bonus Tip: We’re Always Fighting

Yes, I know there are some loud mouth lawyer types out there who like to make themselves known. These are the ones that make all lawyers seem unbearably obnoxious. I promise we’re not all like that.

Thought Catalog

9. The Care Package – aka “Sucking up”

Suggested items include: 1 lb. gourmet coffee, 2 movie tickets, 1 Cross Morph pen,1 Power Bar, Listerine breath strips, 1 good-smelling candle, and 1 CD of Chopin’s Nocturnes. Instructions: Arrange items in box, write sweet note, leave on desk

Really?

10. Speak Up – aka “Ask leading questions”

When you feel neglected – and you will -take a deep breath and give the neglecter a break. But if it gets serious, voice your concern.

11. Join the Team – aka “Empathetic understanding”

Any relationship is based on good communication, right?  So when you’re neglected, tell’em.  Straight.

Lawyer or not, straight talking and honesty will always win the day.  You’re not in Court when you’re in the kitchen or the bedroom.  You’re in a relationship, so drop the jury-selection tactics and get on with the main event

(MENAFN – GetNews) In this changing world, one of the areas that are the hardest to navigate is the dating area. The way dating has changed has made it a lot easier for some people and a lot harder for others. Therefore, a new approach has to be considered for some people when it comes to dating of any style. The approach has a lot to do with the social climate. At the same time, individuals have to be considered. There are also different styles of dating such as traditional dating, online dating and speed dating. For those that are interested in speed dating, there are a few tips that can help you get comfortable.Some of the issues that people have with speed dating are the same as the issues they have with dating in general. A lot of people are nervous with their dates. Fortunately, if you are struggling with this, then . Change the way you look at dating. You might avoid putting undue pressure on yourself. Dating is not a performance. Therefore, it should not be approached as one. Instead, dating should be treated more like just getting to know someone, because that is what you are doing.For those of you that are not comfortable with keeping a conversation going, there are a few tips that can help you. One of the things to avoid is talking excessively about yourself. A better thing to do is ask questions about the person you are dating. Among the things you can ask your date on a speed date is what they enjoy doing, places they like to go. When asking questions, the best thing to do is keep it casual. Going into deep and personal questions on the first date can cause a lot of discomfort in the person you are dating and can blow your chances.If you are looking for places that you can go on a speed date, there is the which can give you information on the next events such as speed dating. In dating, one of the most important things is to keep your eyes open. If you are aware of your opportunities, you will increase your chances of having a good speed dating experience.Many people have had good experiences at places like for example.One of the most important things about dating is to have an easy-going time. If you put too much pressure on yourself to take things to the next level, you may sabotage yourself. One thing that people have to face is the fear of rejection in dating. The most important factor in this case to manage is your mindset. You are going to get rejected. Therefore, you should take every rejection as nothing more than a mismatch. It is not a reflection on your quality. However, it does not hurt to put your best foot forward so that you can attract more potential mates.

Media Contact
Company Name: Dayrep.com
Contact Person: Sarah M. Hale
Email: Send Email
Phone: 269-756-5771
Country: United States
Website: https://www.nycinsiderguide.com/new-york-city-nightlife

MENAFN2711201800703268ID1097755124

Like a lot of people, I was raised to think about life in a particular way. You go to college, land a steady 9-to-5 job, meet “The One,” and then swap a promise and a piece of paper before getting down to raising a family.

Somewhere in there, you may adopt a pet, or take the next big step and buy a house. This typically happens between a man and woman, who once coupled, remain linked in almighty monogamous bliss until “death do us part.” I never bought into this fairy tale, although the storyline was pushed throughout my childhood and 20s.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine, though, that I’d have the life I have now at 45. I steered clear of societal norms or pressures, and my life continues to grow more abundant and fulfilling every single day.

Here are 8 ways my life looks entirely different than I ever imagined: