Category Archives: marriage advice
Take time to find perspective and just focus on yourself
Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our early 60s, married for 40-plus years. We plan to retire and travel soon.
But the past year or so he seemed to become obsessed with his smartphone, holding his phone all the time and guarding it. I asked him if he had a Facebook account and he said no. But when I entered his cell number in the Facebook login and a common password we use, it came up with “invalid password.” (It would have said “no account found” if he didn’t have one.)
I told him I wanted to talk and asked him to be honest if he had a Facebook account. He yelled no and ran out of the room. Then, while he was at the store one day, I opened our iPad to read the news and the screen had a notification of a message or call from a woman. Her name had pink heart emojis around it. I have no idea who she is, as we don’t have any friends or family with that name.
We’ve had a few counseling sessions in which I told him that I saw the notification from the woman. He insists he doesn’t know her. I told him I’d meet him halfway, but he needs to be truthful or we can’t get this resolved. He still won’t budge. The counselor doesn’t believe his story either and told him so. After three sessions, she said he’s definitely nervous and hiding something, but that if everything else in the marriage is OK, maybe I need to let it go.
I cannot let it go! He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but how can I believe him? I cannot get past this. I have lost so much sleep over this ordeal and am sad every day about this. What do you suggest?
— Betrayed Wife
Dear Betrayed Wife: You were wise to listen to your intuition around a year ago when it spoke to you about your husband behaving differently. Now it might be hard to hear that little knowing voice within. Your (understandable) anxiety and distrust are drowning it out.
So, counterintuitive as it sounds, I think you’ll get a clearer perspective on your marriage if you take some time to focus on yourself. Go on vacation with friends or alone, just to get away for a few days. Keep a journal. Begin a meditation practice. Enroll in some fitness classes. Take up a new hobby. The goal is to hush that maddening din of frustration, anger and fear so that you might once again hear your intuition loud and clear. Then let it guide you.
Note that none of this is meant to take the place of marriage counseling. Your counselor also offers crucial perspective and guidance, and I encourage you to keep going.
Dear Annie: This is another suggestion for Enough Said, whose elderly relative carries on extended conversations.
I’m also an introvert and not a fan of talking on the phone, but my mom is. As I do want to hear from my mom, I make sure I have something to do during the conversation, such as folding laundry or even coloring. Modern speakerphones are helpful with this solution.
— Another Introvert
Dear Another Introvert: A great, practical tip. And while I know this isn’t the exact situation with you and your mom, for people who have social anxiety and dread phone calls in general, some light multitasking (e.g., doodling) during a call is a good way to relax.
Dear Annie: I am very disappointed with your advice to avoid doing business with friends. I am a real estate agent; would you advise me to never make any friends at all so I am free to do business with anyone?
How ridiculous of you to make such a statement. Half of my business has been with my friends over 15 years.
— Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: You’re right. Though I think it’s an area into which people should proceed with caution, it’s possible and sometimes very positive to do business with friends. That statement was a bit rash and over-generalizing. I’m printing your letter to correct the record.
Annie Lane, a graduate of New York Law School and New York University, writes this column for Creators Syndicate. Email questions to dearannie@creators.com.
Denzel Washington's Advice For a Happy Marriage: Shut Up and Listen
Legendary actor Denzel Washington was recently asked what are the keys to a happy marriage and he answered:
“I do what I’m told and I keep my mouth shut”.
Recently, Washington and his wife Pauletta celebrated their 35th anniversary. People reported the couple had a low-key celebration and dinner while interviewing the actor. During that same interview, he was asked for tips that make a successful marriage last. Washington answered,
“What pops into my head: security, food, a beautiful home”, “The difference between a house and a home, it’s a big difference,” Washington continued. “You can buy a house, but that doesn’t make it a home – and not to say a man can’t make a home a home, but my wife has made our house a home, and raised these beautiful kids and protected them and sacrificed for them, she did the heavy-lifting.”
According to various news stories, the couple got married in 1983. GoodHousekeeping reported they met on set and started dating ever since. Washington told Access Hollywood that his wife turned down this marriage proposal twice. Pauletta confirmed that she did reject his proposal twice. She accepted on Washington’s third effort. The couple raised four kids John David, Katia Olivia, and Malcolm. John has followed in his father’s footsteps getting into acting.
He is one of the stars of HBO’s hit television series Ballers also featuring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. John David is also starring in Spike Lee’s new movie The BlacKkKlansman scheduled to hit movie theaters on August 10th.
Washington starred in the movie The Equalizer 2 released on July 2018.
Ciara Isn't Afraid to Address Slim Thug's Allegations About Her Marriage with This Epic Response
Rapper Slim Thug made some pretty combative comments towards Ciara‘s marriage with Russell Willson on Wednesday and it looks like the “Level Up” singer responded back.
The Houston artist caught himself giving marriage advice on 97.9 “The Box” and questioned Ciara’s love for the NFL player. He even accused the singer of using her husband for “financial stability.”
“Do a woman who used to talk to Future really want a Russell Wilson?… I don’t believe it,” Thug said. “He’s just a corny dude, ain’t nothing wrong with it… I ain’t gonna say corny cause that’s hatin’ but he’s just like a square…I don’t believe a girl coming from a street dude could even adapt to that.” He also added that the football player was lame and not a “cool” guy.
Well, CiCi didn’t take to kindly to Thug’s comments and hit back. The singer took to Instagram on Friday and posted a photo that read, “Repeating the same bad habit over and over again, is a form of insanity. There comes a point in your life when you know better, and you have to do better.” Ciara added the caption, “Let’s Not Make Things Complicated, When They Don’t Need To Be 😌 #LevelUp.”
The “Never Ever” artists had just a little more to get off of her chest and added a second photo that was indeed a subtle response to Thug’s claims. The image read, “Cool: A man that’s God fearing… A man that is honorable.”
Ciara added, “Cool is in the eye of the beholder. What are some qualities you see as COOL? #LevelUp.”
Fans applauded Ciara for her classy clapback.
“You better let them know @ciara! Stan for your man! Long as he good to you & yall babies, let them hate!”
“The perfect response! 🙌”
“Clapping the hell back 👏👏😅.”
“They hate seeing u happy..don’t listen to the gossip of ignorant and immature boys because they are not men. God continue to bless u and ur beautiful family 🙏🏾.”
Ciara and rapper Future called it quits in 2014 after being engaged and having their son Future Zahir Wilburn. She told the “Breakfast Club” during a 2015 interview, “It clearly didn’t work out.”
The Atlanta singer and Wilson tied the knot in 2016. The couple share a beautiful one-year-old daughter Sienna Princess Wilson.
The keys to a *Jolley marriage
RICHMOND, Va – Dr. Willie Jolley, CSP, CPAE and his wife Dee Taylor-Jolley, M.Ed. sat down to talk about the 10 secrets to shape a great marriage. They share great advice straight from the pages of their latest book, “Make Love, Make Money, Make it Last.”
