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Category Archives: marriage advice
5 Times Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Reminded Us Marriage Is Hard Work
Marriage isn’t easy, even if Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard make it look like it is.
The Frozen star, who turns 37 on Wednesday, and the 43-year-old actor have been married for more than four years, have been together for more than 10, and share two daughters.
The two are refreshingly candid about their love lives—not to mention life in general—on social media and in press interviews.
“We really just get by. We feel, you know, a little vulnerable just as much as everyone else does,” Bell told E! News in June.
Here are five times Bell and Shepard reminded us that marriage is hard work.
1. Couple’s Therapy: The two are open about how they have sought counseling to work out relationship problems.
“You do better in the gym with a trainer; you don’t figure out how to cook without reading a recipe,” Bell told Good Housekeeping in 2015. “Therapy is not something to be embarrassed about.”
2. Slimey Situations: It could be beneficial for both partners to try to laugh off some unpleasant situations, namely those one person could have stopped. In June, Bell posted on Instagram Stories a video showing a slug that ended up in her salad, which her husband prepared with lettuce grown in their garden. Shepard joked it was just a “lil’ but of protein.”
“The terrible thing was he has never gone outside and picked the lettuce,” Bell told E! News. “He’s made salads before, bought salad at the grocery store. I’m like, ‘I grow six different kinds of lettuce, you can just grab it.’ The first time he does it and there’s a gigantic slug.”
3. Fights Happen: At anyone who’s been in a relationship knows, disagreements can occur over seemingly anything. In January, Bell recalled on Jimmy Kimmel Live! how when she and Shepard once took a motorcycle road trip and argued over what music to play and about whether they should wear helmets at all times, as states have different laws.
“If he was on the highway, he had to wear the helmet. But if he was on side streets, he didn’t have to wear the helmet,” the actress said. “I’m not joking, he took side streets for like four hours just to make a point.”
4. Nobody’s Perfect: In February, Bell shared marriage advice on Instagram by request of a fan who was getting married.
“Loving someone despite their faults, failings, or character defects, is the most powerful loving thing you can do,” she wrote. “Rejoice in what makes the other person happy and allow them their individual interests. Know that everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got. So get a bigger emotional tool box to fix your problems.”
5. Keeping It Spicy: “The funny keeps it spicy for us a lot. He keeps me laughing all the time. I try to make him laugh and every now and again I get there,” Kristen told E! News in 2017. “But really it’s just being aware of the other person’s needs.”
Husband's political rants are a burden
Dear Annie: In more than 35 years of marriage, my husband and I have had conversations on a wide variety of topics.
However, almost every day for the past two years, he has ranted about political issues after watching a news program or reading an article on a website. During these rants, he sometimes gets emotional, even angry. I start feeling tense, and I’ve told him so. Occasionally, he apologizes for getting so emotional, but he hasn’t stopped.
Although I don’t agree with some of his opinions about the issues, I don’t expect him to change his views. I realize he feels passionate about the issues, but he doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t want to listen to his political rants or discuss those issues every day.
In addition to telling him that it makes me feel tense, I’ve tried ignoring him, tuning him out and going into another room. What else can I do?
— Exhausted by the Onslaught
Dear Exhausted by the Onslaught: You and your husband are not alone. In the most recent Stress in America survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, 57 percent of Americans reported experiencing “significant stress” about the current political climate.
I would ask your husband (non-factitiously) what he’s really getting out of all the news. What’s the use in having so much information if all you do with it is get angry?
Suggest healthy outlets for his passion about these issues. He could get involved in politics at the community level, join a political discussion group or book club (check out Meetup) or even just volunteer once a month at an organization he believes in.
I suspect he’ll feel better once he channels his energy into being the change he wants to see in the world.
Dear Annie: I am a man in my 60s. I’m writing out of concern for my friend. “Will” and I are the same age; in fact, we share a birthday. He and I became well-acquainted in childhood and were very attached to each other. But then, in my early teens, our relationship took on a new and unanticipated aspect. We found that we shared an interest in girls, and as we grew through our teens and into our early 20s, we had many adventures together.
When I married, Will was there and always supportive. It wouldn’t have been the same without him, and I’m sure my wife would agree. I never minded in the least the interest he showed in her.
But now, Will seems to have lost much of his get-up-and-go. He no longer shows much interest in my wife or in any other woman. I’ve tried to get him to be more spontaneous, telling him stories and showing him pictures that he used to like, but I barely get a rise out of him.
I believe that Will is too young to be this listless. What do you think I should do?
— Will’s Friend
Dear Will’s Friend: Thank you for this artfully crafted letter. Though the likelihood of erectile dysfunction does increase with age, it’s not an inevitable part of getting older, and it can be caused by underlying medical issues, such as high blood pressure. For Will’s sake, your own sake and your wife’s sake, talk to your doctor today.
Annie Lane, a graduate of New York Law School and New York University, writes this column for Creators Syndicate. Email questions to dearannie@creators.com.
Mercedes “MJ” Javid Already Learned the Secrets to a Happy Marriage — And She's Sharing Them With Us
Shahs of Sunset‘s Mercedes “MJ” Javid has not even been married for three months but, hey, she’s a quick study in this whole happily-ever-after business. In fact, she’s already sharing her wisdom in the marriage department with the rest of us.
We got a glimpse of her new life as Mrs. Feight (in the clip above) and caught up with her at the DailyMail.com & DailyMailTV Summer Party (also celebrating Tom Tom’s soft opening). Here are her tips to marital bliss — and why she says “married life is better than [she] thought it’d be. Surprisingly.”
Married life should be romantic.
Even though the couple had been dating for years, MJ confessed at the Tom Tom opening that marriage is “so friendly, it’s romantic.” She also shared that her relationship has gotten better since tying the knot: “My favorite thing is how much more romantic things have become for some reason. We became more polite to each other. We don’t want to fight so we’re really minding our P’s and Q’s.”
Partners need to be patient and compassionate.
It’s not all automatic sunshine and rainbows once the vows are said and rings have changed hands. MJ dished that “anything that might bother you before you’re married, it’s still going to be that way after you’re married.” So, if they “run into problems like the dishes in the sink,” she makes sure she is patient and compassionate and “you know, kill[s] him with kindness.”
Remember there’s no ‘I’ in ‘we.’
Now that you’re a set unit, it’s not time to be selfish. Happy couples consider each other in decision making, even for the small things. “Everything is ‘we’ now, it’s not ‘I,’ she confessed. “I’ve started being that annoying person that answers text messages in we and I’m so ready to get shit from everybody” about it. Even Tommy says that his relationship with Mama Javid and Toya has changed for the better, too.
Quality time is so important.
Even if you’re no longer actively wooing a new partner, it doesn’t mean that you no longer need to make time and plans for and with each other. In order to keep that quality time up, it’s important to have things that you can do together on a regular basis. For MJ and Tommy, she says that three nights a week they will cook a meal together and they sit together at the table to eat it.
But it’s also important to spend time apart.
That’s not to say that couples should be spending every minute of every day together once they’re married. Time apart where each person follows his or her individual interests is key. MJ is a self-admitted “Bravo addict” and, most of the time, she says, she’s “watching Bravo in [her] room while Tommy’s watching baseball in the other room.”
That sounds about right for us, too … Hey, MJ, want some company for the season 7 premiere? We’ll even bring the snacks.
Additional reporting by Alice Dubin.
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