Relationships Talk

A woman who has been married for thirteen years has taken to social media to give marital advice to young wives and women who are about to walk down the aisle and say I do to the man of their dreams.

The woman identified simply as Mphephethwa who revealed that she was married at the age of 17, noted that she has been married to her husband for thirteen years and she her three beautiful kids.

According to the 30-year-old woman, the tips on marriage that she shared on Twitter is to help young wives and wives to be survive marriage.

She advised women to try and start their businesses early, adding that it is expensive to take care of children both financially and emotionally.

READ ALSO: Lady who has been a side chic for 6 years shares photo of her engagement ring

The woman further noted that communication is key in a marriage. She asked women not to assume anything but talk about everything with their partners.

Mphephethwa stated that women should have the patience to manage things maturely because they would be hurt by their husbands in a way that no one would understand.

She advised that young wives should have the heart to forgive and not hold grudges. She added that in-laws should be respected no matter how friendly they are.

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Read her thread below:

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Planning a wedding in Ireland doesn’t have to be stressful. Whether you’re on a budget or hosting it at a castle, these tips will get you through. 

Many people come to Ireland to get married each year. Some reasons are their Irish ancestry, or love for the magic that our ancient castles, country homes, ruins, and abbeys have to offer. And of course, there are those that have never been before, they simply want to experience the romance that they hear everyone else talking about. I am very proud to call Ireland my home and feel especially lucky to be back after living abroad for many years. I am fortunate to be able to help couples, just like you, get married in my home country, Ireland.

If you have thought about getting married on the Emerald Isle, or are in the midst of planning a wedding in Ireland from America, here are some tips to help you in the process.

Read more: Best Irish wedding venues from castles to a location beside the sea

Your ceremony:

This is the first thing you need to look at. Do you want a religious ceremony in a church or a civil, spiritual or humanist ceremony to name a few others? Do you want to get married at the Cliffs of Moher or in a castle?

There are lots of rules and restrictions so best to get the facts right in case you need to slightly re-adjust the dream. Click here to read up on civil or religious ceremonies in Ireland. Humanist and Spiritual ceremonies also follow the same rules as a civil ceremony.

Legalities:

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Image: iStock.

Regardless of the type of ceremony you choose, you need to give notice of your intent to marry to the registry office by post because you are not in the country. It is normally three months for people in the country but start this process six months at least beforehand to give yourself enough time.

Contact the local registry office where you want to get married before commencing the notification process. The notice fee is $233 (€200). Click here for all the information you need on what to bring with you etc.

You will also need to be in Ireland five days prior to your ceremony, to meet with the registrar and get the Marriage Registration Form which you will need for the wedding day.  

If you are looking for a blessing only, and not a legal ceremony than this is a lot easier and you have saved yourself the paperwork!

Read more: Ancient superstitions of a traditional Irish wedding may surprise you

Sourcing the right venue and location:

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Castle Durrow.

Had you thought about where you would like to get married, and what county? In Ireland, castles, abbeys and country houses are growing in popularity over hotels, and we have many unique venues popping up like art galleries, and museums. I

f you are not using a wedding planner, I recommend you ask a trusted friend in Ireland to go visit your venue for you if you cannot visit yourself. If you can afford to make the trip over, map out visits to a few venues that you have narrowed down that fit your preferences and numbers.

Get the timing right:

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Every couple wants to sun to be shining. Image: iStock.

Regardless of the time of the year, or season, you choose to get married in Ireland, it is most likely going to rain at some stage or another during the day. Sorry! Best to just be prepared for it. It may not be the tropical downpours that you are used to, it could be just a light shower.

June, July and August are the most popular months to get married. Make sure you look at the calendar to see if there are public holidays around the time you are planning. If you don’t have a preference on the day, go for midweek because it will probably be at a lower price.

Don’t forget the time difference also between Ireland and where you are living.

Your supplier search:

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Image: iStock.

Make a list of who and what you need for the day. If you are planning a small elopement or a bigger day your priorities and needs will be different.

Make sure you research each supplier and look at their portfolios and previous work to see if their style is what you are looking for. One thing that I have had to get used to upon returning to Ireland from abroad, is the slow response time from suppliers compared to overseas. You may need to be a little bit more patient!

And also remember that the weekends are the busiest time of the week because they will be at weddings.

Use Skype/Facetime:

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Image: iStock.

I love Skype and Facetime. They really make it so much easier when speaking to my couples overseas to get a real sense of their personalities. I learn so much more from a Skype call compared a normal phone call and the conversation is so much more personable and open.

Use Skype/Facetime when you can for chatting with your venue or suppliers. I also took my couple for a walk around a venue while they were on Skype – something to think about if you cannot get over to Ireland to view your venue.

Read more: Perfect ideas for your Celtic wedding ceremony: Bands, blessings, vows and traditions

Looking after your guests:

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Image: iStock.

There will be lots of information to keep your guests abreast of, therefore best to create a wedding website, rather than send them reams of paper! On the website, I recommend you put details of your venue, your wedding day schedule, include pre- and post-wedding activities, the closest airport, closest accommodation, and perhaps a page with useful tips on traveling to and around Ireland.

I also love reading the story about where you met and why you chose Ireland as your wedding location. It may be an idea to book transport to and from the ceremony location depending on what your plan for the day is. This will save guests having to plan this themselves.

I hope these tips will help you on the run up to your wedding day and as a wedding planner myself, I also recommend that you get a wedding planner on-board to save you the stress that often comes with planning, and to help you with the legal side of things.

Here are a few quick reasons from me as to why you should enlist the services of a planner, especially one based in Ireland.

• Ability to source a suitable wedding venue in Ireland for you.
• Budgets tend to quickly start adding up. A planner will manage and track your wedding budget spend and advise you of average costs you will pay.
• The Gift of Time. You get time back to focus on the things that are really enjoyable. Therefore, you can spend more time finding the perfect wedding dress, thinking about the cake, and planning your big trip to Ireland.
• Let your wedding planner sweat the small stuff. Your planner will worry about things like wet weather contingency and will know the vendors and suppliers who are the best to work with.
• Remove the stress on the day. One the morning, allow yourself to enjoy the build-up. Let the planner do the running around and set up. Furthermore, your planner will also ensure everyone else is where they are meant to be!
• Having lived abroad for years myself, I understand how difficult it is to plan things from overseas. I wish you all the best with your wedding planning and lots of luck for the day you have dreamed of in our magical country of Ireland.

The last thing to do is simply enjoy your big day! 

MartinaO is a Wedding Planning and Styling Consultancy based in Ireland. We work with couples coming to Ireland to get married and assist with everything from finding the right venue, booking the right photographer for being there on the day itself.  Our focus throughout the planning process is on finding new, unique and creative ways to celebrate each couple’s relationship and we pride ourselves on bringing something different to the table.

MartinaO offers bespoke packages tailored to every couple’s needs. We offer ‘Consultation only’, ‘On the Day Coordination’, ‘Style & Design’, ‘Month of Wedding Planning’ and ‘Full Wedding Planning’ packages. It doesn’t matter how big or small your wedding is, or if it is a simple romantic elopement for just the two of you, we would like to be a part of your day to make the dream you have become a reality.

You can find more information at www.martinao.com, on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or on Twitter. 

KENNEBUNKPORT, Maine — When her granddaughter asked for marital advice, former first lady Barbara Bush told her, “You have to go 75 percent of the way.”

“Be thoughtful and make things nice for your husband or wife … it’s a two-way street,” she continued. “I believe I’ve had a very happy marriage and I’m having a happy marriage.”

It’s that 73-year marriage to former President George H.W. Bush, the longest marriage of any presidential couple in history, that is featured in a new book “George and Barbara Bush: A Great American Love Story.” It’s an intimate look into the private life of a very public couple written by their granddaughter Ellie LeBlond Sosa, and Kelly Anne Chase. In this first-ever family tribute, Sosa infuses fond memories of her grandparents and growing up in the Bush family with intimate interviews with the Bushes and their family friends.

[George H.W. Bush arrives in Maine for summer]

The book includes never before published stories, letters and photos from the Bushes long-time Kennebunkport summer home, Walker’s Point, and explores the enduring relationship of George and Barbara Bush from its beginnings at the outbreak of World War II, through his time in the Navy and his long career of service. Barbara Bush passed away in April of this year, just before the book’s release.

“I’ve witnessed my grandparents for the past 31 years of my life and knew they had something special, and I also knew that before me and my time there was so much more,” Sosa said. “I’ve heard stories over the years from family and from them and thought what a great story this would be to put all together, not only to share it with the world, but also as a keepsake for our family to have because we all look up to our grandparents so much and look up to their love story. To have everything together, the stories and the letters and photos, to have it all in once place, is a really special thing for our family.”

[‘I thought I was done’: Bush faced death at 20 during WWII]

Sosa and Chase, who first worked together when Chase — a magazine editor — worked on a story about the Bushes and Walker’s Point, reconnected for “George and Barbara Bush” in February 2017. Sosa said she first ran the idea of a book on her grandparents’ love story by her mother, Doro Bush Koch, who thought it was a good idea and suggested she speak to her grandmother, who Sosa calls “Ganny.”

“I talked to my grandmother in Maine and said, ’Ganny, we are wanting to write a book about you and Gampy and your love story,” Sosa said. “She’s like, ‘Well, I don’t know why you’d want to write about that. That sounds like such a bore.’ But she really was excited about it. We interviewed her three times throughout, so that was really special to have her included in the book.”

Sosa and Chase were given access to the Bush Presidential Library in College Station, Texas. Sosa said they poured through more than 100 scrapbooks “from every part of their life together” that included family photos, newspaper clippings, diary entries from decades ago, and the letters the couple wrote to each other. In one scrapbook, in an envelope at the bottom of the page, was a wishbone from the first Thanksgiving they hosted in 1945, Sosa said.

[Barbara Bush, matriarch of American political dynasty, dies at 92]

“My grandmother saved everything over the years,” Sosa said, adding she told her grandmother about finding the wishbone and said she laughed and said, ”‘I remember that.’ I’m so grateful that she did. It’s like she knew many years down the road that people were going to look back and want to have all this.”

The process of compiling her grandparents’ story was like putting a puzzle together, Sosa said. “Take a letter from here, a photo from this part of their life, part of the diary entries from here, and kind of puzzle piece it all together into the story,” she said. “The book is somewhat of a chronological story of their life, but it’s through the eyes of their love story. It was a really fun process and very special for me.”

In the book, Sosa talks about the special relationship she’s had with each of her grandparents. She said that bloomed when she, her brother and mother moved to Washington, D.C. during her grandfather’s presidency, and they spent a lot of time at the White House.

“They both have this special way of making everyone feel so loved and special,” Sosa said, adding her grandfather was an “amazing letter writer” who used his words and writing, among other reasons, to share his love and support of his family.

In one letter to Sosa, when she was a junior in college in the fall of 2007 and going through a tough semester, Bush writes, “Your mom told me you tried to call me and she told me what it was about. My message back to you is that I love you, I am proud of you and I will always be in your corner. We all hit bumps in the road of life but you will get past this bump and go on to great things.”

[Barbara Bush was ‘first lady of the greatest generation’]

While Sosa said her grandmother had a reputation for being the “rule maker, when you really got down to it, she was just full of love and the only things that really mattered to her was her family and her friends,” she said.

Looking at her grandparents’ story, Sosa said it’s hard to imagine two people can have such experiences in one lifetime. “They went through some of the hardest things a couple can go through – losing a daughter, losing elections. They also had some of the greatest times together – raising their family, raising five healthy kids, they made it all the way to the White House,” Sosa said. “There’s a line in the middle of all that and that was their love. It’s just straight across all the time. That was the constant.”

Sosa said she believes much of their strength and unity as a couple comes from their shared love of family. “They surrounded themselves with family always,” Sosa said. “They made each other laugh every day. And, of course, they were fiercely loyal to one another.”

Today, Sosa lives in Boston and is happy to be so close to her family’s summer home in Kennebunkport. It’s where she met and, in 2014, married her husband.

[George and Barbara Bush’s love is inspiring]

“Maine is such a special place, I think especially to me,” she said.

In her final interview with Barbara Bush, just 10 days before she passed away, Sosa asked if there was anything in life her grandmother regretted.

“I would have been nicer, thinner, smarter, more beautiful, more educated, I mean, all those things,” she said, as she made everyone in her hospital room laugh. “No, I wouldn’t have changed anything. You’re not going to talk to anyone happier.”

“I think she attributes that mostly to being George Bush’s wife,” Sosa said.

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