Category Archives: marriage advice
Young couple not ready for marriage … and may never be
Dear Annie: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 10 months now, and she has been pushing for an engagement since month three.
I’ve been telling her I’m not ready for marriage. We are in a toxic relationship but have been working on it and have been improving step by step. The main reason I have been hesitant about marriage is the fact that she’s lazy. By “lazy,” I mean she won’t get a job unless it’s exactly the one she wants, and she won’t do any kind of cleaning, even though she makes the primary messes.
I work a full-time job, as well as a part-time job, and clean in my spare time. I’m getting terribly exhausted. We are a young couple; I’m 21, and she’s 18. We are not financially stable at all. Neither one of us is very good with money.
She has had a tough life and has a lot of issues. She has an anger issue and gets angry about the smallest of things. She has told me she won’t wait forever to get married.
How can I explain that we aren’t ready for marriage without angering her?
— Not Ready
Dear Not Ready: If she gets angry with you for saying that you two aren’t ready for marriage, she’s only proving your point. Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and you can’t have that when one partner is living in constant fear of the other’s wrath.
You stated that you’re working on making the relationship nontoxic. However, until she works on herself — finding a job, seeking help for her anger problem — anything you do to try improving the relationship will be like putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm, dumping a thimble of water on a wildfire or tying a balloon to the Titanic. Futile.
I know this isn’t the advice you were looking for, but it sounds as though the best thing for both of your futures might be to go your separate ways. It won’t be easy; like other things that are bad for your health, toxic relationships can be addictive and hard to break out of. But it will be worth it. You are both so young and have so much more growing to do.
Dear Annie: Recently, someone wrote to you to remind people about the importance of sending older relatives, especially those in assisted living facilities, photos.
My father was in a nursing home for about three years. We purchased an internet-connected “smart” photo frame for him. Once I had set up the account, anyone I gave the username and password to could add photos, which my dad could then see on his frame.
My son is in Oregon, and my brother is in Utah, and I’m in Virginia. With the click of a smartphone, any of us could have new photos display for Dad. I asked him whether he wanted me to have the frame turn off at night, but he said, “No, I love waking up and seeing all of you.”
Ours was made by Nixplay, but I am sure there are others. It was the best gift we ever gave him! For people who can’t or won’t take the time to get photos printed, this is a godsend.
— Loving Daughter
Dear Loving Daughter: What a great gift idea, and just in time for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Thanks for the tip. It looks as though Aluratek, Micca and several other companies also make this type of frame.
For readers who are interested in buying a digital photo frame: Be sure the frame is Wi-Fi-enabled if you want to be able to change or add pictures from afar.
Annie Lane, a graduate of New York Law School and New York University, writes this column for Creators Syndicate. Email questions to dearannie@creators.com.
Anil Kapoor has the perfect marriage advice for Sonam Kapoor
Sonam Kapoor and Anil Kapoor
Sonam Kapoor is getting hitched to Anand Ahuja on May 8, and her father, Anil Kapoor, could not be happier. Buzz is that he has a special performance lined up for her sangeet – he will be dancing to Gallan Goodiyaan from Dil Dhadakne Do and My Name Is Lakhan from Ram Lakhan.
In an interview with Hindustan Times in 2015, Anil Kapoor had the best advice concerning marriage for daughters Sonam and Rhea. “Things have changed now. It all depends on what makes them happy. I tell them to only think of marrying when it makes them happy and not any time soon. Dont marry for the sake of marrying,” he had said.
Incidentally, at an event in 2013, Sonam had said that Anil did not believe in the concept of marriage. “My father doesn’t believe in marriage, he thinks that it’s a very old-fashioned concept. The men in my family are completely against marriage. So whoever has to marry me has to go through like six brothers and a father,” she had said.
The Kapoor and Ahuja families ended weeks of speculation by the media when they officially announced Sonam and Anand’s wedding earlier this week. The celebrations will be spread over two days, with the mehendi on May 7, and the wedding and reception on May 8.
FULL COVERAGE: SONAM KAPOOR AND ANAND AHUJA WEDDING
ALSO READ: Sonam Kapoor or Anand Ahuja, who is more romantic? This is her answer
ALSO READ: Did you know Sonam’s boyfriend Anand Ahuja owns a Rs 173-crore bungalow in Delhi?
ALSO WATCH: Sonam Kapoor-Anand Ahuja to Prince Harry-Meghan Markle, biggest weddings of 2018
'90s Pop-Punk Band Smash Mouth Has Some Critical Marriage Advice For DJ Khaled
Getty Image
Twitter is one of the most interesting, frustrating, confusing, and hilarious tools of the digital age. There are times it makes you want to throw your phone in a garbage disposal — basically, anytime Kanye West has tweeted in the last week — and times it saves a particularly bad day with a hilarious and timely hashtag. Then there are times you just don’t know how to react, like the time — actually, this afternoon — ’90s pop-punk band Smash Mouth used the platform to admonish rap super-producer DJ Khaled for saying he refuses to give his wife oral sex.
https://mobile.twitter.com/smashmouth/status/992478669435060224
So how did Twitter deliver one of the most bizarre collection of names and motivations in its sordid, ten-year history? It all started with a recirculated clip from DJ Khaled’s 2015 interview with New York’s The Breakfast Club radio show. The hosts asked their outspoken guest about his marriage and received a long-winded explanation about why Khaled doesn’t (or didn’t, there’s no update on whether he’s since changed his views) like to go down on his wife.
“A woman should praise the man — the king” he said. “If you holding it down for your woman I feel like the woman should praise. And a man should praise the queen. But you know, my way of praising is called, ha-ha, ‘How was dinner?’, ‘You like the house you living in? You like all them clothes you getting? I’m taking care of your family, I’m taking care of my family…’ You know, I’m putting in the work.” He says this excuses him from one particular marital duty, because, “It’s different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the king. There’s some things that y’all might not wanna do, but it got to get done. I just can’t do what you want me to do. I just can’t.”
As the old clip made its rounds of the usual Twitter sharing circuit, The Root’s Grapevine vertical picked up the humorous story of its resurrection and tweeted out the link to their post — a link Smash Mouth’s Twitter account manager couldn’t resist commenting on. “A King who doesn’t is no King at all,” they tweeted, along with the quoted retweet of the original link. Of course, their response went super viral, garnering 15,000 retweets and over 52,000 likes as Twitter users weighed in on the debate. If there’s anything Twitter users love, it’s ‘90s nostalgia, raunchy talk on a slow Friday, and a good, old-fashioned celebrity roast, so the perfect storm of all three was almost guaranteed to take off like a rocket. It’s one of the many reasons that, no matter how bad it gets, we will never, ever delete this app. Happy Friday!
