Category Archives: marriage advice
Bad advice before you marry the most beautiful woman on earth
Never say anything positive about the househelp
Keep every opinion to yourself, unless it is something negative
Never borrow money from your wife. If you borrow, pay it back with interest
For more than five years or so, your buddy Nicholas has enjoyed all the freedom that comes with bachelorhood. He always laughed at you when you excused yourself to leave the pub, claiming that you are all a bunch of henpecked men, hell-scared of their wives.
In two weeks’ time, he will marry one of the most beautiful women you have seen, but you cannot vouch for her attitude. You expressed your skepticism that she will run Nicholas down, but Nicholas said that his Maasai blood will not allow a woman to sit on him. How the mighty fall.
Nicholas is about to discover what American humourist Hellen Rowland said: It takes a woman 20 years to make a man of her son and another woman 20 minutes to make a fool of him. You don’t even envy him. As the old wise men said, marriage is like a place besieged. Those in want out and those out want in.
Last weekend, you sat as men to bring Nicholas up to speed on what marriage entails. Here are the pieces of advice you collated.
1. Never say anything positive about the househelp. Keep every opinion to yourself, unless it is something negative.
2. Never borrow money from your wife. If you borrow, pay it back with interest.
3. Never ask your wife how she spends her money. Never. Ever.
4. Ban cabbage and ndengu from the word go — before they become a staple serving.
5. Always stand your ground — firmly. Let her know the boundaries she can’t cross. If you give women a mile, they will grab the whole world.
6. You will lose all the arguments in your marriage. When your wife is on the wrong, she will gaslight you to a point of losing your sanity. Just know where to draw the line.
7. Act unreasonable sometimes. Scare them a bit. A comfortable wife is a dangerous one. (This in no way advocates for violence).
8. Buy her gifts. Once a year.
9. Women like pushing buttons, all the time. They like provoking the man. They derive pleasure in provoking you. Act cool and annoy her.
10. Don’t be too boring. Modern women like excitement. Find something exciting occasionally. Take her to the village and let her cool with wet pieces of wood. She will love it.
11. Minimise contact with her as much as possible. More contact begets friction. Friction is bad for your soul.
12. Beware of the silent treatment. The many nights you will come home from a night of bingeing, she will give you the scary silent treatment. Don’t succumb to pressure and panic. Enjoy the golden silence.
13. Your worth is your bank balance. Don’t be cheated that she will stay because you lay the pipe well, or some silly idea like romance. After 25, women are all about bills, vacations and everything money can buy. If you don’t have the money, she will a) despise you, b) cheat on you, c) find a reason or excuse to leave you.
14. Always pay the rent. Armed with that, remember better or worse is a lie. Marriage to women is only for better times. There will be many bad patches. Don’t quit. Stay and fight, until nothing is left. By then you will be too old. Wish you all the best Nick.
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Maple Grove couple renew vows to celebrate 76 years of marriage
Maple Grove resident John and Evie Kasper just celebrated their 76th wedding anniversary with a marriage vow renewal.
John and Evie’s daughter, Susan Rivard, said her parents are 96 years old, born in 1922.
“They met in school when they were 10 and got married when they were 20,” Rivard said. “My dad was in college but got drafted into WWII shortly after their wedding. After serving in the Army Air Corps, he returned home, finished college and then got a masters and doctorate in physical education and recreation.
John and Evie lived in St. Cloud for most of their married life. John Kasper was a professor and eventually Department Chair of Health, Physical Education and Recreation at SCSU.
The Kaspers had three children and seven grandchildren and currently have three great grand-children. They moved to the Twin Cities three years ago to be closer to family.
Rivard said it was big adjustment for her parents after 67 years in St. Cloud, but they have done very well, making new friends, staying involved in activities and enjoying family.
“Mom and Dad became Internet sensations a few years ago when their oldest grand-daughter (my oldest daughter), Danni Munro, took a video of them offering marital advice,” Rivard said. “It was pretty funny. She posted it on her YouTube channel, and eventually BuzzFeed found it and got her permission to post a clip of her video on their site – and after that, it exploded and went around the globe.”
Rivard said that to this day, if anyone googles “BuzzFeed John and Evie,” several videos of them that Munro made, and newspaper articles written about them, and a clip from a local tv station’s interview of them, will come up.
“Their videos (they are Danni’s favorite subjects) have been seen by many millions of people in 100 countries,” Rivard said. “But my parents don’t understand the Internet, so they only felt ‘famous’ when the Star Tribune ran an article about their Internet fame with a picture maybe a year ago.”
John and Evie Kasper’s marriage vow renewal ceremony took place on Oct. 21. Pastor Joe Lignon presided over the ceremony. Rivard said its was family-only affair.
“Their marraige has always been based on respect, trust and love — with a strong dose of humor, which is a necessary part of any successful relationship,” Rivard said.
To watch a video of the vow renewal created by Munro, visit https://youtu.be/EJaY7_gbqxo
Advice on a wedding day from an imperfect man
Dear Todd,
You didn’t ask for my advice; but, you did ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage.
The old man … her old man … seeks your indulgence for offering the former while happily granting the latter.
Today you will become part of our family, though we accepted you long ago. You didn’t have to ask for her hand, and thereby our acceptance of you, but you did.
There are a lot of things you won’t have to do as a husband, but you do them already.
These are things a real man does … things a real husband does.
A reminder of this is found in 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13. I’ve heard it echoed again and again, often as part of a wedding ceremony.
“If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal … .”
Say “I love you” every day. If the words don’t come, the actions will speak louder than a resounding gong.
“Love is patient.” That doesn’t mean waiting her out or holding your tongue until you gain advantage. It means trusting that God had a reason for all things. Being patient doesn’t always mean you will understand her or that she will comprehend your reasoning. It simply means patience will yield new knowledge for your both as you allow God to work in your lives.
“Love is kind.” In a time when kindness is hard to find in our world, it is essential to marriage. Kindness is one of your many great qualities. It means being kind when the overwhelming temptation is to lash out. She now takes preference over everyone and everything in your life. You take preference for her. When both your glasses are half empty, you fill up hers and she fills up yours.
“Love is not rude.” I’ve never seen rudeness in you, and I’m sure Tamara would not expect it. Don’t listen to popular culture, where rudeness is portrayed as an acceptable counterpoint.
“It does not rejoice over wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The world is hard on married people, suggesting in so many ways that the truths that preserved Christians for centuries are no longer relevant. Proclaim God’s love to one another and you will strengthen your marriage to an extent you might not think possible.
“When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.” You love our daughter, and she loves you. But that’s far beyond the words of a popular love song, a movie plot or the infatuation that makes your heart flutter. As a man and woman, love is more than the culmination of a growing passion. It’s about a daily recommittment by both of you to love one another simply because.
As I look down the pew on Sunday morning, I am assured that the two of you continue to gain understanding about the nature of love.
My advice to you, unsolicited but offered anyway, comes from an imperfect man whose many failings should make him unlovable. And yet, one woman has loved him for more than 50 years. Two imperfect people, strengthened by the unconditional love of God.
Loving one another, simply because. God bless you both on this your wedding day.
Mr. Clinton retired as executive editor of The Messenger in 2011. He and his wife, Barbara, live in Lone Oak.
Alec Baldwin Arrested for Allegedly Punching a Man in NYC
Alec Baldwin has been arrested in New York City.
The NYPD confirms to ET that the 60-year-old actor was arrested on Friday on 10th St. in Manhattan for assault, after allegedly punching a man over a parking dispute. He is currently at the 6th precinct and charges are pending.
This isn’t Baldwin’s first brush with the law. In 2014, he was taken into police custody for disorderly conduct after allegedly riding his bike the wrong way down 5th Avenue.
A year prior, Baldwin was accused of yelling a homophobic slur at a paparazzo. The alleged incident took place just months after he was photographed allegedly pushing a man against a car near NYU’s Greenwich Village campus. The alleged altercation reportedly began after the photographer began following Baldwin’s wife, Hilaria Baldwin, into a nearby store.
Back in 2012, cameras caught Baldwin allegedly attacking New York Daily News photographer Marcus Santos after he attempted to snap a photo of the actor.
According to The Los Angeles Times, in 1995, Baldwin was placed under citizen’s arrest for allegedly punching Alan Zanger, a photographer, in Los Angeles, California. The alleged incident occurred when Baldwin and his then-wife, Kim Basinger, arrived home with their newborn daughter, Ireland. Baldwin disputed the claims and was never formally charged.
“Anyone with a shred of human decency would understand that there are times in your life when you want your privacy respected, whether you are a public figure or not,” Baldwin said in his statement at the time. “I do believe that bringing your wife and 3-day-old baby home from the hospital is one of those occasions.”
“That Mr. Zanger felt it was appropriate to videotape my home and my family for his own profit is unacceptable to me,” Baldwin’s statement continued. “I asked him repeatedly to stop filming us and he refused each request. I dispute his contention that I broke his nose or caused any other facial damage.”
Baldwin and his wife share four children, Romeo, 5 months, Leonardo, 2, Rafael, 3, and Carmen, 5. On Wednesday, just days before his arrest, the family dressed up as astronauts for Halloween.
Watch the video below for more on the Baldwin clan:
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