Category Archives: marriage advice
Man says he wants divorce, but doesn't leave the house
Dear Abby:
My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, but always managed to work our way through them. Last year, he decided he no longer wanted to be married, saying the last 20 years “were not all that pleasant” and “we have never really gotten along.” (As far as I know, there isn’t another woman.)
My problem is, for the most part, he still ACTS like he wants to be married. He has made no attempt to leave, tells me his comings and goings, asks me to have dinner together, etc. However, he sleeps on the couch and there’s no sex. He says he does this because he hopes we can stay friends after the divorce.
I have yet to be served with divorce papers, so I’m thinking it may be a midlife crisis. Am I misreading his signals and he’ll snap out of it, or am I being strung along?
— Anonymous In The Usa
Dear Anonymous: You are confused because your husband is sending you mixed messages. Could he be having performance issues? Do you still love him? I ask because nowhere in your letter did you mention it. The two of you are overdue for an honest discussion about whether your marriage is salvageable. If it isn’t, ask him when and if he plans to file for the divorce, because this situation has left you in limbo, which is unfair to you. Then consult an attorney to ensure you get a fair shake.
Dear Abby: I am a young adult who suffers from migraines, which make it difficult to have much of a social life. My family and close friends know about them and are supportive and understanding. However, I’m a private person and don’t like talking about it with new people.
It’s hard to make friends and go on dates when I know I might have to flake out at the last minute due to a migraine. What’s a good way to gracefully bow out of plans without seeming like a flake? Or should I just tell new people about my migraines?
— Hurting In
Dear Hurting: Suffering from migraines is nothing to be ashamed of. More than 12 percent of people in the U.S. share your problem. While I don’t think it’s necessary to make an announcement about it when you meet someone, I do think you should tell the truth if you must cancel an engagement.
Dear Abby: I am the youngest of four children. Every Sunday, our family gets together for Sunday dinner, a tradition I have loved since I was a kid, although lately, I have grown less fond of Sundays. Here is why: I am now 30 and the tallest sibling in my family, yet I am made to feel as though I am the smallest.
No one listens to me; no one asks my advice. I could be at the table with my finger up my nose and I don’t think anyone would even notice. I say things and no one acknowledges me. Sometimes I feel as though I don’t even exist. It’s as if because I’m the youngest, I have no importance. What can I do to change this?
— Patience Running Thin
Dear Patience: Allow me to suggest that at the next Sunday dinner you speak up loud and clear and say exactly that. And if nothing changes, make other plans for Sunday.
Will Smith Admits He & Jada Pinkett Have 'Broken Up' Within Their Marriage
It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine kisses in the Pinkett-Smith household.
In the latest episode of Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook Watch Red Table Talk show, the Girls Trip actress and her husband of 20-years Will Smith got real about their at one-time struggling marriage.
Monday’s (October 29) episode picked up right where it left off last week, with Will detailing how he had been blind to his family’s unhappiness due to his jaded idea of success. “I saw for the first time what Jada had been saying the whole time about hiding behind my ego, my dreams and my desires and pretending like it’s love,” Smith said, referencing their now 17-year-old daughter Willow’s decision to shave her hair off in protest of her doing more music following her hit “Whip My Hair.” “And I realized [Jada] wanted none of the stuff I had built.” He added: “The house was too big, there was always too many people here, she didn’t want to travel the way we traveled. She didn’t want all of her kids to be getting trolled on Twitter. She didn’t want any of that.”
Jada then hopped in saying, “And there was a decline from there.”
“Yup,” Will agreed. “To have to let go of the picture, to have to let go of the dream was devastating. We essentially had to destroy our marriage.” He continued, “I was reading in the tabloids that we were getting divorced and all of that stuff.” Despite tabloids claims about the two seeking professional advice to dissolve their union, Jada said, “I had never even seen a divorce lawyer! It never even crossed my mind.”
Will admitted he also felt the same way towards the idea of divorce, however, that didn’t mean they didn’t break up within their marriage. “Because I had been divorced before, I wasn’t getting divorced again. Divorce wasn’t an option,” he said. “I was devastated even worse than a divorce. We broke up within our marriage and got back together again,” he revealed. “We had to rebuild with new rules and something way, completely different.” Jada further explained their split, saying, “You really have to go your separate ways to figure out your stuff. You have to be strong enough, and understand clearly what it is you’re in search for… because that whole time you’re in a union you’re pointing fingers cause you’re thinking it’s your partner[‘s fault]… You have to get away and get out of each other’s way to really see yourself.” She added: “So I had to go away and gain my strength as Jada again — not mommy, not wife, Jada.”
Meghan King Edmonds Shares Surprising Relationship Advice: “The Best Marriages Are Flawed”
Meghan King Edmonds and her husband, Jim Edmonds, celebrated Halloween in the most spookily romantic way: They dressed up as a pair of zombies. (Look, Halloween is not the night for champagne and caviar; it’s the night for eyeballs for two!) When sharing the look on Instagram, Meghan used it as a segue to introduce her latest blog post. Here’s what she wrote in her caption:
“After four years of marriage, we’ve turned into zombies! But seriously, marriage doesn’t have to be scary. I wrote a blog on the top five things I’ve learned in our four years of marriage.” And over on her blog, The Real Housewives of Orange County alum got way more real than the threat of a zombie apocalypse.
Riffing off the concept of “love languages” — which, as Vicki Gunvalson well knows, basically describes how people in a relationship show affection — Meghan admitted that she and Jim speak different ones.
“Jimmy likes acts of service. I like quality time. If you aren’t sure how your spouse speaks ‘love’ just watch how he communicates his love to you. Jimmy will wash my car or clean the kitchen. Even though these are nice, I’d rather the two of us have a nice dinner without cell phones or go on a field trip to the museum. But, I understand that ‘quality time’ isn’t his first (love) language so it’s not as natural for him to think of doing something like this. Nudging him in the right direction is fine but also embracing what he perceives as the greatest acts of love is going to make everyone happier.”
She also encouraged her followers to embrace the flaws in their marriages — because what relationship is flawless? “We are inundated with perfection via social media. It’s not real,” Meghan wrote. “Remind yourself of that. The best marriages are flawed. You read that correctly: the best marriages are flawed! How? Because they allow their marriage to be a work in progress and don’t put pressure on it to be magically better or different or something they wish it was instead. Just live in the moment and work through differences as they come.”
Credit: Meghan King Edmonds/Instagram
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Dr. Jackie Walters on Marriage with Curtis Berry: “We've Had to Tear Down to Build Up”
Dr. Jackie Walters and her husband, Curtis Berry, celebrated their 16th anniversary on Sunday night’s episode of Married to Medicine with a romantic dinner at a French restaurant. However, no one was sure the couple would actually make it there after they dealt with Curtis’ infidelity last season.
But is everything as très magnifique for Dr. Jackie and Curtis as it looks? Dr. Jackie shared where things really stand with her and Curtis today when she appeared on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen Sunday night (clip above). “We’re in a good place. I mean, we’ve had to tear down to build up,” she shared. “We’re really in a good place.”
Dr. Jackie shared a similar sentiment, saying that she and Curtis were “in a much, much better place,” during an interview with The Daily Dish back when this season of Married to Medicine first began. However, she knew that reliving their difficult past through the show could bring back those painful memories. “We’re still in a better place of healing and of course reliving the story on the show brings back those memories and can take me to a really dark place,” she told The Daily Dish in September. “But overall, he’s a keeper today.”
Trust is one of the areas that Dr. Jackie and Curtis are still working on rebuilding. “I think trust is a process and completely regaining trust is going to take a while,” she told The Daily Dish last month. “Some of the sensitive areas still come up, and I cannot tell I’m 100 percent there, but I’m there enough to stay married to the man.”
Dr. Jackie didn’t hold back her thoughts on the other Married to Medicine relationships during her appearance on WWHL. Check out her marriage advice for the crew, below.
Watch What Happens Live
Dr. Jackie Walters’ Advice for the Other Ladies
Dr. Jackie Walters talks about her Parisian-themed date with her husband Curtis Berry and plays a gamelet where she gives her best relationship advice to her #Married2Med castmates.
