Category Archives: marriage advice
Dr. Gregory Lunceford May Not Actually Be Done with His Marriage to Quad Webb-Lunceford, According to Cecil …
Quad Webb-Lunceford may have filed for divorce from her husband, Dr. Gregory Lunceford, but don’t declare this marriage officially over just yet. Dr. Simone Whitmore‘s husband, Cecil Whitmore, shared that he doesn’t believe Dr. Gregory is quite ready to throw in the towel on their relationship when he appeared in the audience to support his wife on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen Sunday night (clip above).
When asked for their thoughts on Dr. Gregory’s part in the divorce on WWHL, Dr. Simone implored her husband to “tell the truth.” “Actually, to be honest, Andy [Cohen], we’re friends, and he acts like he wants to do the work,” Cecil revealed. “He does, and he talks about hoping that Quad will turn and come back.”
However, Quad hasn’t seemed committed to making the marriage work, according to Dr. Simone. “It just seems like, mentally, Quad’s been gone for years,” she shared.
Cecil showed his support for both Quad and Dr. Gregory as he live tweeted Sunday night’s episode of Married to Medicine. “Listen Brother. Praying for my lil sis @AbsolutelyQuad & my golf buddy @DrGLunceford,” he tweeted. “I [heart] them both!!”
Quad confirmed to The Daily Dish in September that she had filed for divorce from Dr. Gregory. She later said on WWHL that “there were a number of reasons” why she felt like divorce was the best option. “As I was trying to work through things with my husband and I still was hitting a brick wall, I said, ‘He’s not getting it,'” she explained. “Apparently, that’s giving me a message that he doesn’t want to get it, which means he doesn’t want the marriage.”
Dr. Simone has been vocal about her disappointment over Quad not sharing her struggles with the Married to Medicine crew this season. You could tell that Dr. Simone is still not quite over it as she gave some advice to Quad on WWHL after successfully coming out of a dark time in her own marriage last season. “There’s lots of advice I could give to my girlfriend if just she would listen. But one of the things that I’ve told Quad more than once is that I feel she needs to get in counseling. The entire time I was separated from Cecil, I was in counseling because I did not want to hate him for the rest of my life,” she said. “But I think you just need to be whole and healthy, and Quad is not in a good place right now.”
Quad opens up more about the split, below.
Watch What Happens Live
Quad Webb-Lunceford on Why She Filed For Divorce
Quad Webb-Lunceford from #Married2Med tells Andy Cohen that she has filed for divorce from her husband who had cheated on her and says what led up to knowing she was done with him for good.
Amy Dickinson: Urban pioneer isn't ready for the neighborhood
Dear Amy: About a year ago, my husband, baby and I moved to a new neighborhood.
The neighborhood is “turning over.” It was once a somewhat dangerous area, but in the last 10 years or so it has improved significantly, partly because of an influx of young professionals.
When we moved here, we made friends with our neighbors, including folks who were new to the area, and those who had been there more than 40 years.
Recently, I walked around the corner to a restaurant. My husband and baby were not with me. As I was waiting, a man — older and larger than I — left his party (two women) and approached me to make small talk. He asked if I lived in the neighborhood. I told him I did.
The man then asked what street I lived on, and asked me to describe my house. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable sharing that information. He then read me the riot act, explaining that, “This isn’t that kind of neighborhood” and, “It’s not like I’m going to rob you.”
Frankly, I wasn’t worried about being robbed (or worse) before that comment, but I was worried afterward.
I didn’t want to engage, so I simply said, “Yeah, OK.”
Amy, I’m sure this man is perfectly pleasant to those who know him. But I’m a young woman, and no one should (1) ask a stranger where she lives, and then (2) respond so aggressively when she politely declines to answer.
Is there a better way to handle this in the future? I don’t think I was being a baby, but I wish more men understood that questions like this are inherently intimidating to women. — Wondering Woman
Dear Wondering: Your instinct is not to disclose your address to a stranger, for common-sense security reasons. But I’d like to suggest an alternate storyline: He engages you in small talk, and asks which house is yours. You deflect: “It sounds like you know the neighborhood pretty well. Do you live here, too?”
Or you answer truthfully: “It’s the yellow one with the white trim,” and he says, “Oh, the Robinsons used to live there. They raised five kids in that house.” You say, “Oh, we love that wonderful kitchen. How long have you lived in the neighborhood?”
And you’ve both formed a connection.
You bear no blame for reacting the way you did (my scenario might be wrong). He should not have reacted so defensively — and offensively. But you assumed the worst and swatted away his bid for connection — and he responded badly.
In the future, you can respond to entrees by deflecting with politeness.
When a stranger asks you any question you don’t necessarily want to answer, you can say, “Hi, I’m ‘Sandy.’ I didn’t get your name…?” This is a way of rewiring the encounter. The person’s response to this polite deflection will reveal what you might want to do next.
Dear Amy: My husband of 41 years died. I do not plan to remarry.
Now I’m wondering, do I continue to wear my wedding band?
Someone told me that you wear it on your right hand if you’re widowed.
Should I do that, or should I take off my ring, since he has passed away? — Widowed
Dear Widowed: You should do whatever you want to do. After 41 years of marriage, you might feel lost without your ring on your left hand where it has always been.
There are no rules about this. Some widowed people take their ring off immediately. Some switch their wedding band to the right hand.
Give yourself time to make the decision that feels right to you. You can also make one choice and then change your mind.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to manage your loss.
Dear Amy: Thank you for your sensitive response to “Hello Teaching, Goodbye Teaching,” from the new teacher who wanted to quit on her first day.
I was a high school teacher for over 30 years and absolutely loved my job, but I always said if I had to repeat my first year of teaching I would find another line of work.
I definitely agree with giving yourself permission to quit but also give yourself enough time to find out if teaching is really for you. If I had quit after the first year, I would have missed out on an extremely rewarding career. — Been There (panic attacks and all)!
Dear Been There: Many veteran teachers responded with similar stories.
Gwyneth Paltrow Got Wedding Advice from 'Very Excited' Cameron Diaz, Says Source
When Gwyneth Paltrow wanted advice for her wedding day, she knew just the person to call.
A source tells PEOPLE that Paltrow, 46, sought out tips from Cameron Diaz, also 46, before tying the knot with Brad Falchuk, 47, in the Hamptons on Saturday.
“Cameron was very excited about Gwyneth’s wedding,” the source says. “Gwyneth has been giving her updates and asking for advice during the planning.”
As for Diaz’s expertise, the insider says, “Cameron pulled off a private wedding even though the media found out about it before. Gwyneth wanted the same privacy.”
Diaz and Benji Madden, 39, wed in January 2015 at their home in Beverly Hills, California.
RELATED: Who Is Brad Falchuk? Get to Know Gwyneth Paltrow’s New Husband
John Salangsang/BFA/REX/Shutterstock
Diaz and Madden were two of the several celebrity pals — including Jerry Seinfeld, Steven Spielberg and Robert Downey Jr. — to celebrate the actress and the Glee co-creator at their wedding.
In April, Diaz, Nicole Richie, Rachel Zoe and others attended Paltrow’s bridal party. Paltrow captioned a picture of the group, “When some of the women you love most in the world give you a luncheon and you end up with underwear on your head…”
RELATED: Gwyneth Paltrow Says She ‘Feared Intimacy’ Before ‘Adult Relationship’ with Brad Falchuk
Paltrow and Diaz have had a tight bond for years. In 2012, the stars rapped about Chelsea Handler in honor of the comedian’s move to a new studio. In 2014, Diaz defended Paltrow and ex Chris Martin‘s use of the phrase “conscious uncoupling” to describe their split.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz
Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock
RELATED: Cameron Diaz Spotted Shopping in N.Y.C. Ahead of Friend Gwyneth Paltrow’s Hamptons Wedding
“I think it’s actually a very elevated and conscious and realized statement,” Diaz told Extra at the time. “I think that when people like Chris and Gwyneth, who really worked hard to be friends and keep the things that are really good and work in their relationship, which is being friends and being parents, which they are amazing at … people go their separate ways in other aspects of their life, and I think it’s really brave of them to phrase it that way.”
Is it tacky to get legally married months before the wedding?
Dear Carolyn: Is it tacky or deceitful to legally get married as much as nine months in advance of a wedding ceremony? I’m recently engaged (yay!) to a great guy. We chose a date nearly a year from now because my fiance travels for work all through the spring, and we want to accommodate parents, stepparents, and family traveling from many other states.
However, we’re both small-business owners and it looks like it would benefit us financially to marry before 2018 is over. I recently told a friend this idea and she was appalled, that it amounted to us putting on a “show” wedding. For me and my fiance, getting legally married as a business/tax decision doesn’t have any of the emotional meaning that standing up in front of our friends and family would.
We’re having a “no gifts” wedding, so it doesn’t feel like we’re even asking friends for anything other than joining us for a celebration of vows. Is my friend right, could it be perceived as dishonest? Should we keep this idea to ourselves?
– Engaged
I’m impressed your friend has the energy to be “appalled” by a decision that isn’t about her and doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s good to be young, I guess.
There is something to its being a “show”; I’ve been knowingly to one such wedding and, yes, there are moments that might otherwise have seemed spontaneous that came across as staged.
Read more:
But it’s hard to remember caring more than a second or two beyond said flicker of recognition. The point of that wedding and any other was for the couple’s loved ones to show their support; for the couple to share their moment with others and express gratitude for the support through generous hospitality; and for people in general to step out of their routines to celebrate life for a day or three.
And, pardon the juxtaposition: A memorial gathering is still moving and important when it’s held months after a loved one’s burial, no?
And, pardon the juxtaposition again: The end of a close game is still exciting (to me at least) an hour late on DVR. It technically already happened but the story it tells is the same.
Whether any of this gets you off the “tacky” hook is moot because every guest will have an opinion on everything you do anyway; that’s why chasing approval is for suckers. Be true to yourselves and be gracious hosts and leave the sleep loss to somebody else.
It is “deceitful,” of course, if you pre-marry and don’t tell anyone you did; you don’t need me to tell you that. Now you just need to decide whether the deception is morally significant and/or worth the money you’d save.
Dear Carolyn: I have a neighbor who frequently joins me in my morning walk. She or I will initiate a conversation. There are times when she is quite insightful and even delightful. Usually however, when I start talking, she either pulls out her phone and starts talking about something else, or yells to someone across the street, or is so distracted by whatever is going on in her head she completely misses whatever I’m saying.
I’ll say something like, “Apparently I’ve lost my audience.” Or, “I’m sorry. Am I keeping you from something?” My sweet morning activity then becomes an upsetting experience.
When I have spoken to her about how this makes me feel, she says, “I’m a space case. Don’t take it personally.” I do take it personally. Sometimes it affects the rest of my day.
Any suggestions on how I can get through to her without killing the relationship?
– Tuned Out
You are unlikely to get through to someone who’s still in the excuse-making phase, and you have no relationship to kill. Unless performer/audience counts as one.
I actually agree with her that not taking it personally is your best play, though. Your only information is that she demonstrates zero interest in what you have to say, so I get why you see it as personal and why it can ruin your day. But look at it this way: A polite person with zero interest in you would at least make a show of nodding and uh-huh-ing during your turns to speak.
She doesn’t do that – she grabs her phone, ugh, like an adolescent dopamine fiend. More important, when you object, she doesn’t show you the basic respect of an apology. That’s not spacy, that’s self-absorbed.
So your neighbor apparently is a few qualities short of high-quality. Oh well, right? Don’t torture yourself looking for just the right combination of words to unlock the secret brain-dungeon that imprisons her social graces. When you see her coming, just remind yourself you’re the latest audience for an impromptu one-woman show. Or, of course, walk the other way.
Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com
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