Category Archives: marriage advice
Monica Lewis: 8 tips for healthy, happy marriage
Sometimes, it’s just a matter of knowing what to avoid — like asking “what’s for dinner?” right after a fight.
A young, soon-to-be-married friend recently asked me for marital advice out of the blue. After I stopped laughing, I told her I was divorced and have been single at random intervals for about 10 of the past 15 years.
“Well, you can tell me what not to do then,” she said.
Wanting to help out a friend, and considering that her chances were nil of exhuming and reanimating Liz Taylor to get some real insight on what not to do, I figured I’d better make an effort.
So without further ado, here’s my list of helpful advice for a healthy marriage — or, more accurately, words of warning to her fiance:
1. Doing the dishes together will not bond you. Invest in a dishwasher, load it and take a nap together instead.
2. Do not hover. If you know more about the minute-to-minute whereabouts of your spouse than prison officials know about early-release inmates with ankle monitors, you need to back off and get a hobby.
3. Do not resist public displays of affection. PDA is good. Plus, if you hold hands with her in the mall, there is a chance it will keep her from going into the craft store.
4. If she asks “do I look fat?” do not pause. The answer is always no.
5. Never, ever suggest that anything be 50/50 unless the same is true for your bank accounts.
6. Just because you shared your feelings in your wedding vows doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.
7. If you have a fight, wait at least three days before asking, “What’s for dinner?”
8. Think of “time of the month” only as the day your cell phone data plan resets.
I texted an ex to ask him if he had anything to add from his current relationship, and he strongly agreed with No. 7 — apparently while dining at a McDonald’s.
Go, love!
Jada Pinkett Smith Drops More Inspirational Relationship Gems And We're Taking Notes
Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images
Jada Pinkett Smith can do no wrong, especially when it comes to dropping inspirational gems on just about any topic.
In this week’s dose of inspiration, Smith spoke about infidelity in relationships, explaining that it can be hard to overcome in a relationship, but it’s not impossible.
RELATED: Will Smith Is Amazed That He And Wife Jada Pinkett Smith Have Been Together ‘More Than Half [Their] Lives’
RELATED: The Spot-On Marriage Advice Ruby Dee Once Gave Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
“People gon’ mess up so here’s the thing: Make sure you’ re with someone who’s interested in mastering themselves and everything they come with,” she said. “And I know there’s a lot of pain that comes with infidelity but relationships are a spiritual endeavor.”
Smith added more inspiration in the video’s caption shared on Instagram earlier this week.
“Most of us come into relationships with a bunch of traumas and high expectations,” she began. “Traumas and expectations can be a painful mix because it’s our traumas, and the false beliefs they create, that keep us from offering our best to ourselves and others.”
“We are all a bunch of open wounds slamming into each other all day … everyday. Successful relating is not for the weak at heart. This is why I believe relationships are a spiritual endeavor,” she added, complete with the hashtag #selfmastery.
Now that her Facebook Live show, Red Table Talk, has been on hiatus until next season, Smith has been keeping her fans inspired and informed with weekly inspirational chats.
Were you taking notes? Because we definitely were!
Nev Schulman and Wife Laura Perlongo Didn't Know What to Do With Themselves After Their Wedding: 'What Now?'
For years, Catfish cohost Nev Schulman and Laura Perlongo were running on adrenaline. After seven months of dating, the couple — who admittedly “went into it fast” — announced in 2016 they were expecting their first child together. Then, after welcoming daughter Cleo in October 2016, the parents threw themselves into wedding planning. When that was over, Schulman, 33, and Perlongo, 32, didn’t quite know what to do with themselves.
“There was a month where we were just looking at each other like, ‘OK. What are we planning next?” Perlongo told Us Weekly at the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards in New York City on Monday, August 20. “Like, we had the kid and now we’re married. Oh God.”
The creative director noted that the month after they tied the knot was the hardest. “There’s all this build-up and everyone’s so excited and you have got this great wedding, and all your friends and family are there,” she explained. “And then the day after, you’re like, ‘Cool what now?’”
Nev Schulman and Laura Perlongo attend the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall on August 20, 2018 in New York City. Mike Coppola/Getty Images for MTV
Now, the pair, who cohost the Facebook relationship show We Need to Talk, are back in planning mode. Perlongo is pregnant with baby No. 2 — a boy! “We’ve got the girl thing down, we got it, and now we’re like, ‘Oh, we’re gonna have to learn everything again, too,’” she told Us. Added Schulman: “It’s a whole new set of weird concerns and worries.”
Schulman and Perlongo took to Instagram to share their pregnancy news on August 15. They celebrated their two-year wedding anniversary one month earlier. When it comes to marriage advice, Schulman told Us: If the [heat] cools off a little bit, that’s actually probably healthy and good. You can’t expect that insane love and passion all the time.”
Sign up now for the Us Weekly newsletter to get breaking celebrity news, hot pics and more delivered straight to your inbox!
6 Women Share What They Know After Their First Year Of Marriage
Of course, there are usually legitimate reasons why people get divorced and there should be no stigma around it (arguably, the process should also be made easier). If you want to reduce the risk of divorce, you’d be wise to implement some damage limitation. A recent study of heterosexual couples, presented at the International Association for Relationship Research (IARR) conference in Colorado, found that marital disagreements take a toll on our mental and physical health. Disagreeing over topics such as children, money, in-laws and leisure activities can be as bad for us as smoking and drinking, which is as good an incentive as any to work on your marriage or long-term relationship.
