Married At First Sight’s Matty Lockett warns 2019 stars ‘not to let fame go to their heads’ – as he reveals the one contestant from his season who thinks they are ‘better than the rest’
Married at First Sight’s Matty Lockett has issued a warning to the stars of next year’s season: ‘Don’t think you’re better than anyone because you did a stupid show.’
In a furious rant posted to Instagram on Tuesday, the 28-year-old tradesman claimed that ‘some people’ from his season ‘let [fame] go to their heads’ – before launching a scathing attack against fellow contestant, Ryan Gallagher.
He said: ‘Little piece of advice to all doing season six, always remember where you came from and the people that matter.’
Having his say: Married At First Sight’s Matty Lockett (left) has warned next season’s contestants ‘not to let fame go to their heads’
Matty then revealed that Ryan, 30, had ‘deleted and blocked’ several former MAFS stars on Instagram, including Dean Wells and Telv Williams.
‘I think we’re starting to see Ryan’s true colours,’ he said, before criticising the former reality star’s stand-up comedy career.
‘If you want to be a comedian, actually be funny. And if you’re gonna give it, make sure you can take a beating,’ Matty continued.
Ouch! In a rant posted to Instagram on Tuesday, Matty claimed ‘some people’ from his season ‘let [fame] go to their heads’ – before launching an attack against Ryan Gallagher (pictured)
He then leaped to the defence of Davina Rankin, Ryan’s ‘wife’ on the social experiment who helped make him a fan favourite by ‘cheating’ on him with another groom.
‘Stop giving it to Davina, it’s not funny anymore and Davina made you who you are,’ Matty said.
Since Married at First Sight wrapped filming in March, the participants have regularly socialised together.
‘She made you who you are!’ Matty also leaped to the defence of Davina Rankin (right), Ryan’s ‘wife’ on MAFS who helped make him a fan favourite by ‘cheating’ on him with another groom
However, it appears the friendships Ryan formed with the likes of Dean Wells and Telv Williams have cooled in recent months.
Ryan was last pictured with Dean in early November and with Telv in August.
Daily Mail Australia has reached out for comment.
What happened? It appears the friendships Ryan formed with the likes of Dean Wells and Telv Williams have cooled in recent months, with Matty’s post suggesting he is now an outsider
“I promise to love, honor, and obey until death do us part.”
I said those vows when I got married, but no one told me it would be like this. Did getting married and saying those vows really mean spending every moment together with my spouse? I mean, we enjoy spending time together but I am starting to question whether or not there is such a thing as being too close.
Could we unintentionally be causing relationship problems and strain on our marriage by too much togetherness?
As life’s circumstances have changed, so has marriage. You will have many competing interests for your time, resulting in you and your partner spending every “free” moment with each other — talking, playing, having sex, and just being with one another.
You might be telling each other everything, bringing not only the office but the office gossip home too. You are not doing it on purpose; it just happens.
If this sounds familiar, it may be time to learn how to fix a broken marriage. Take a look at what you are bringing into your relationship and whether or not it’s productive for you and your partner.
Here is the best marriage advice on how to navigate 3 of the most common relationship problems men and women frequently encounter as part of married life.
1. You talk about work too much.
Many companies have started operating in a “do more with less” environment. (Do more with less but not with the increased pay, I might add). You might find yourself spending more time at work, possibly traveling, and becoming closer to people at work.
As soon as you get home every day, you share with your spouse all the ends and outs of your day at work. This includes who got a bad performance appraisal, who has a crush on who, who has problems at home, and it keeps going.
Yes, you want to share everything with your spouse, but should you?
I remember a story about a man who had a stressful job but a very happy marriage that had lasted many years. Each night, when he came home, he would rub a rock that he placed outside the door of his home. He explained that rubbing the rock was the reminder to leave all his work problems and issues at home and to be a husband and father when he walked in the door.
So, stop and think how much time you spend venting and raving about what is happening at work. Your spouse may not have a clue about who or what you are really talking about and really may not want to hear the same stories every day.
In an effort to avoid this rut, try coming home a few times a week, rubbing the rock at your door, and just be in the moment.
There are times when you should experience new things with our spouse. But what happens if you’re just not jazzed about your spouse’s favorite activities?
A great example is video games. Gaming is a hot industry and it’s not just for children. Adults of both sexes and all ages are into escaping through games. Your spouse may love playing games, but you will never be at the same skill level and you only get frustrated when you play. In fact, your stomach cringes every time you are asked.
How do you feel when you are playing? After you play? Resentful? Angry? The quality time you thought you were going to share just turned out to be only time spent — time you won’t get back.
The resentful and unhappy feelings you have when you continue to do something you really don’t want to can build up over time and put distance between you and your spouse. Don’t be afraid to let go and free your spouse to do something they enjoy without you.
3. You don’t have “me” time.
You have spent so much time doing what makes your spouse happy, something got lost along the way. You!
Do you remember the things you would take time out for that brought such a sense of peace and joy? Do you remember the things that you wish you still had time for? What would your marriage be like if you took the time to do something that brought you pure peace and joy each week?
It could be as simple as reading a book, taking a yoga class, taking time to meditate, reading the bible, or shooting a few golf balls on the range. You would begin to raise your anabolic energy level, which in turn would raise the anabolic energy in your marriage.
Now that you know how to save a marriage, here’s a challenge: try to implement one thing that would take away the quantity of time you spend with your spouse and replace it with quality time with your spouse. You’ll be sure to see a difference!
And a final, as my friend Lauren Solomon says, “Don’t treat your husband like your furry girlfriend!”
As the founder of Infinity Coaching, Carolyn R. Owens provides career, leadership and life coaching to moves individuals forward, allowing them to take command of their lives.
Photo illustration by Slate. Photos by Thinkstock/Getty Images.
Daniel Mallory Ortberg is online weekly to chat live with readers. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat.
Daniel Mallory Ortberg: Good morning! I’m already so mad on behalf of one of these letter writers. Let’s get started.
Q. My husband’s fantasy life: I discovered this weekend that my husband belongs to a website for people whose spouses or partners cheated on them. He posts there frequently, and he’s talked about our children, our financial struggles, and my infidelity with my boss. The thing is: I’ve never cheated on my husband. It’d be one thing if he’d created a fictional persona for this website. It’d still be misleading and a cause for concern, but the things he writes about our marriage are lies. A few times he takes an argument we had in real life and filters it through the prism of a man whose wife cheated on him.
I’m so upset. I haven’t talked to him yet, and part of me wonders if there’s a reasonable explanation. Why would he invest time creating this false portrait of our marriage? He’s never expressed concerns about my boss to me, and I’m not even that close to the other man. I could use some perspective: How concerning is this discovery?
A: It’s very concerning! It may be common to, say, rehearse arguments in the shower, or to fantasize that we’re more aggrieved than we really are in the midst of a disagreement, or generally to indulge in the occasional Secret Life of Walter Mitty–style fantasy, but this goes way beyond passive imagining and well into questionable territory. He’s presenting a false version of you to strangers in order to feel victimized and heroic at the same time. That takes away time and energy he could have been putting into your actual marriage! Whatever justification your husband tries to offer you—my guess is that his first response will be something along the lines of “I don’t really know why I do this,” followed by “It’s just blowing off steam, I guess” or “It doesn’t mean anything”—know that you have every right to be hurt, that your trust and intimacy have been violated, that your husband needs to find a better strategy for coping with disappointment and insecurity, and that you don’t have to just “get over it.”
Q. In-law used a racial slur: I’m Asian, and my husband and his family are white. Recently, my sister-in-law used an offensive slur about Asian people as a joke while speaking with me. I was visibly uncomfortable, as she tried to explain why it was just a joke, but I didn’t respond at the time because I didn’t want to ruin the event we were at. Later I told my husband about his sister’s comments, and he (unnecessarily) apologized to me but seemed to brush it off by saying, “You know she’s an idiot.” I didn’t push it further, but it’s been a few days and it’s still bothering me. My sister-in-law is married to a man of color and has biracial children. I know being related to a person of color doesn’t stop someone from being racist. However, I also know that she’s fiercely protective of her family and would be furious if anyone used equivalent language with them (because I’ve seen it happen), which is why I was taken aback at how casually racist she was with me. I don’t know what to do. Do I let it go? Do I bring it up to my husband again? Do I say something to her, and if so, when and what?
A: Lifelong jerks have figured out a really successful grift when they can get, without even asking, other people to offer, “Oh, they’ve always been [ignorant/rude/boorish]” as a defense of their behavior and to prevent any real accountability or change. What your husband meant, of course, was that his sister makes a big fuss whenever he’s tried to get her to apologize or stop doing something hurtful, so he gave up ages ago to make life easier for himself and wants you to do the same. But it’s such a flimsy defense!
You: “Your sister said something flippant and racist that upset me.”
Him: “Yes, well, she says flippant things a lot, so we’ve decided en famille that she just gets to do that indefinitely.”
Definitely bring it up with your husband again, and let him know that you’re going to talk to his sister soon and you’d appreciate his support, even if he thinks she’s an idiot. Since she said this to you directly, I think it makes sense for you to speak to her on your own behalf, rather than asking your husband to run interference for you. Tell her that this has been on your mind ever since she used the slur, that you didn’t find the joke funny, that you don’t want to hear her use that word again, and that you’d appreciate an apology.
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Q. Darling, you look exhausted: What do I say to a co-worker who keeps walking up to my desk with a big show of affection and then tells me how tired I look and how tired my eyes look? It’s a horrible thing to say over and over to someone, and she’s usually interrupting me, such that I need to look up directly from peering at my computer screen. It’s done with such a benevolent, huggy approach, but it feels like a weird maternal show of dominance at the same time.
A: Oh God, the full-body shudder this letter induced in me! I know exactly the kind of co-worker you mean, and I’m so sorry you have to deal with her terrible Coraline energy. This is the type of person who is likely to respond to any direct request—“Please stop commenting on how tired you think I look”—with a showy production of hurt and shock: “Well, I’m sure I didn’t mean anything by it. I had no idea you took it so personally.” This will be irritating but fine, and you’ll feel much better with a sort of icy reserve springing up between the two of you than you did flinching and steeling yourself every morning.
Q. Breaking point: I want another baby. It is irrational, but I want it more than anything. My husband and I have two boys, 6 and 3. My husband is upset with me over this. He says we would have to move (we have a small two-bedroom house), our income would suffer (day care is more expensive than the income from my part-time job), and he would have to give up our paid-off truck. He brought out a spreadsheet and listed every negative consequence of another child, and I just sat there. I started crying, and my husband told me I would need to make a choice whether I wanted to “destroy our family” over this or let it go. We went to counseling after our first baby. My husband didn’t want a second child, but I got pregnant. We agreed this would be the end, but I want another baby. This desire will not leave me. Am I crazy for this? My mother tells me that I am risking my marriage and that I should give it “more time” to see if my husband comes around. He is a great father and lives for our boys, but I don’t know if this is the breaking point or not.
A: This certainly sounds like the breaking point to me. There’s been a pretty serious breakdown in trust in your marriage if your husband is at the point of making spreadsheets and using language like “destroying our family.” You’re not “crazy” for having a powerful, emotional desire for wanting more children, but you can pay attention to that desire and acknowledge your feelings without letting them drive your choices. Having children really ought to be a unanimous decision. It sounds like a part of you is hoping that because your husband “came around” to having a second child, if you sort of tune out his objections now and try to get pregnant anyway, the same thing will happen again. But that’s wishful thinking that ignores your husband’s very clearly stated choice, and I think it will backfire. You’ve been to counseling before, and I think it’s time to go back. A therapist can help you find ways to mourn and honor your feelings of loss and help you and your husband find more effective ways to communicate than spreadsheets and silence.
Q. How do I tell my future in-laws that I am not like my snobby parents? I am a woman in my late 20s who is happily engaged. My engagement should be smooth sailing except for my parents, who have recently expressed their disdain for my fiancé. They think he is not good enough for me because he isn’t in a particularly well-paying career track, and his family is less well-off than ours. I am outraged and mortified at how shallow my parents are. My fiancé and his family are good, hardworking people and do not deserve my parent’s disgusting snobbery.
I consulted my fiancé about it, and he has since mentioned it to his parents. I have no idea how I am going to see their sweet faces again. I never want them to feel like they are in any way inferior to my parents, and I especially don’t want them to think I would ever see their son as somehow less than me. Do I bring this situation up to them? Act like it never happened? How do I make sure they know that my parents’ views do not reflect my own, without being insensitive about their relatively less cushy financial status?
A: You can make sure your in-laws don’t think you condone your parents’ rudeness by making it clear to your parents that you won’t tolerate any comments, direct or indirect, about how much money your fiancé or his family make. If they can’t commit to that, then they don’t get to spend time with you and your fiancé. Since this nasty, embarrassing behavior is coming from your side of the family, it’s incumbent on you to make sure that it’s at the very least contained. Your in-laws will know you’re different from your parents if you act differently, not because you’ve taken them aside and said, “I don’t care how much money you make.”
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Q. Breakup etiquette: Is there a proper way to break up? We were together 2½ years. We live far apart, but he spent summers at my place, and I visited him about 10 times a year. We also traveled together. We were excitedly planning a few more trips, he was “feeling really good about us,” and then he called and broke up with me. Aren’t I entitled to a discussion of some sort? Am I focusing my hurt on the wrong thing? I take it he has a history of choking at deep intimacy, but this sudden dumping makes me feel like I was deluded the whole time. It hurts.
A: There’s no way to break up with someone that doesn’t hurt, but being blindsided can be especially painful. I don’t think of it as a question of entitlement, but I do think it’s perfectly fine for you to say, “I want to be able to have a discussion.” It may be that he had private reservations he didn’t want to share with you; it may be that there were warning signs you missed; it may be that he suddenly got cold feet and chickened out at the thought of having a painful breakup conversation. You could, I think, ask him if he’d be available to have a slightly longer talk about what went wrong—over email or text, even, if calling sounds too painful. But if he doesn’t respond, I don’t think you should waste your time trying to chase him down. The sudden and abrupt end to your relationship doesn’t mean that you were deluded. It just means that he didn’t know how to have a difficult conversation.
Q. Re: Breaking point: The letter writer hasn’t listed a single good, rational reason why. She admits that it is “irrational.” Her husband has responsibly listed pros and cons. She is too immature to have another child. Does she just like being the center of attention while she’s pregnant? Why would the letter writer want to risk her marriage? Her husband should insist on using a condom or have no sex at all, since she can’t be trusted not to get pregnant. Previously, he told her he didn’t want a second child, but she got pregnant anyway.
A: I agree that the letter writer’s husband should be very careful about their birth-control method, if they are indeed still having sex at this point. I’m not so worried about establishing divisions between “rational” and “irrational” desires. I think it’s meaningful and important to talk about desires that aren’t rooted in logistics, but I am worried that the letter writer is framing her own feelings as so big and all-encompassing that they cannot be discussed or reasoned with, only resisted or given into. That’s both untrue and unhealthy.
Q. Who is Papa? Four years ago my sister had a baby, and when he was learning how to talk, his grandparents, my parents, became “GoGo” and “Papa.” My husband and I now have a 16-month-old daughter. I’m known as Mama, her dad is Dada, and she’s just starting to call my parents GoGo and Papa at everyone’s encouragement but my husband’s. He cringes every time anyone refers to my dad as Papa but has never said anything to my parents—instead, he privately fumes to me that he thinks “Papa” should be his name. I told him he needs to speak to my dad if he has an issue with it; he tells me I need to since it’s my dad and it would be “a lot nicer coming from me.” He wants to start encouraging my daughter to call him Papa, but I just don’t agree. I don’t see why he needs to be referred to as Dada and Papa when our daughter has already settled on Dada for him. Even my cousin’s kids refer to my parents as GoGo and Papa, it’s just become who they are.
My daughter is starting to name all her family members in pictures, and when she gets to my parents, my husband says, “That’s Grandma and Grandpa.” I can see the confusion on her face. I feel so torn. I don’t want to make what I feel like are unnecessary waves in my family, but I also want to support my husband, which he says I’m not doing. I told him I love him, but I feel like he should let this one go. Please help.
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Kane County Clerk John A. Cunningham wishes to provide information to couples who are seeking to get married during the holiday season.
Couples wishing to get married in Kane County must apply for a marriage license prior to getting married.
In order to apply for a marriage license, couples must appear together at the Kane County Clerk’s Office, 719 S. Batavia Ave., Bldg. B, Geneva, or at the Aurora satellite office, 15 E. Downer Place, Aurora. There, couples can present valid identification including proof of age, complete and sign the marriage license application, and pay the $32 application fee in cash only.
The clerk’s office processes applications for marriage licenses from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, and 8:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Wednesday. Plan to arrive at least 30 minutes before closing to allow enough time to complete an application.
Marriage licenses are issued to the couple after the application is completed in the clerk’s office. Licenses are valid beginning the following calendar day after being issued and are valid for 60 days.
Couples who wish to get married in a courthouse ceremony can go to either the Kane County Courthouse at 100 S. Third St., Geneva or the Kane County Judicial Center, 37W777 Route 38, St. Charles.
Regular hours for marriage ceremonies are 2:30 to 4 p.m. Monday-Thursday, and 1:30 to 4 p.m. Friday. Couples do not need to make an appointment as marriages are performed on a first come, first served basis.
However, the courts will be closing early Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, and New Year’s Eve, Dec. 31, and the hours for marriage ceremonies will be from 10 a.m. to noon.
For information about how to apply for a marriage license, application fees, or acceptable forms of ID, visit kanecountyclerk.org or call (630) 232-5950.
The Kane County Clerk’s Office is responsible for issuing marriage licenses for all ceremonies performed in Kane County. The clerk performs several major functions, including custodian of county records, chief election official, registrar of vital records, passport acceptance agency and tax extension. The clerk’s office provides information and resources to residents at www.kanecountyclerk.org, twitter.com/KaneCoILClerk and www.facebook.com/kanecountyclerk.
![Ouch! In a rant posted to Instagram on Tuesday, Matty claimed 'some people' from his season 'let [fame] go to their heads' - before launching an attack on fellow contestant, Ryan Gallagher.](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2018/12/18/02/7547812-6506041-In_a_startling_tirade_posted_to_Instagram_on_Tuesday_the_28_year-a-17_1545101486100.jpg)
