Relationships Talk

Sachin Bhatnagar realized early that he needed professional help to break the low risk appetite which he felt was hindering the progress to his goals. He attributes it to a middle-class upbringing where savings were always channelled into government-sponsored savings schemes or bank deposits. But the ex-Air Force officer who kept up with the developments in the investments space with his reading knew that their savings could do a lot more. Sachin and wife Shivani both now work in the private sector and are committed to saving for their dreams many of which are centered around their 14-year-old daughter Sohani. A corpus to fund her education in a foreign university was top on the list as was her marriage expenses, a much-desired holiday abroad and early retirement.

The Bhatnagars decided that the services of a financial planner would help them get to their goals more efficiently and this led them to Taresh Bhatia, a Sebi-registered investment advisor and partner, Advantage Financial Planners LLP.

Taresh understood that Sachin was looking for professional support to get their financial house in order. He started with their goals.

“The first step was to help them define their goals clearly. It was important to prioritize them because their savings would not have supported all their needs and wants at that stage,” said Taresh. The idea was to add to their goal list as their savings improved which they actually managed to do in the third and fourth years. The next step was to do a forensic evaluation of their investments. “Their existing investment portfolio was not aligned to their goals and merely a drain on their savings,” said Taresh. The culprits were multiple low-yielding insurance policies including expensive unit-linked plans, the legacy of a previous tryst with an insurance agent. Taresh explained the risks to their goals of continuing to hold the low-return insurance products.

His solution was to surrender the policies that had no place in the investment portfolio so that the family’s savings could be better utilized in more appropriate products. “It took me some deliberation and time to gather courage before I could make the decision to exit at a loss,” said Sachin. He sees a silver lining in this experience too.

“Even though the insurance policies wound up doing more harm than good to my finances, it forced me to build the discipline to budget and save so that I could pay the premiums. This discipline has stood me in good stead,” he said.

The second challenge Taresh faced was to work on the risk aversion that Sachin’s conditioning had built in him. He used risk profiling to show Sachin how unfounded his fears were given the financial situation of the double-income household and convinced him to include equity for long-term goals that were more than 10 years away, like retirement.

“I used the first year to assess how Taresh’s advice worked for us,” said Sachin. And it did. Along with an equity focus aligned to the long-term nature of their goals, the Bhatnagars are now adequately covered with life insurance, health and other essential general insurance products. Sachin actively engages in selecting the investment products with Taresh’s inputs and analysis. They use an online platform to route their investible surpluses and to monitor and rebalance the investment portfolio on a schedule so that the asset allocation continues to reflect their goals. And there is place for fun too in their financial plan. Some of the profits from their equity investments realized on rebalancing the portfolio was even used for a family holiday.

Sachin is planning for early retirement so that he can give back to society. As a certified life coach, he wants to work with youngsters to help them realize their passion so that the career they choose is the one they enjoy. He now has the confidence that his life’s plan and financial plan are synchronized allowing them to follow their dreams.

Mistakes I won’t repeat

1. Play too safe with my investments

2. Invest in products that are not aligned to my goals

3. Not prioritize my goals

Phnom Penh: Everyone did well from Nary’s marriage to a Chinese man, except the young Cambodian bride herself, who returned home from the six-year ordeal destitute, humiliated and with little prospect of seeing her son again.

Her brother ran away with US$3,000 (RM12,600) after cajoling the then 17-year-old to leave Cambodia to marry. Brokers split the remaining US$7,000 (RM29,400) paid by her Chinese husband, who got himself a longed-for heir.

But her wedding to a stranger thousands of miles from home, in a language she could not understand, was ill-fated from the start.

“It was not a special day for me,” Nary said.

She is one of tens of thousands of young Cambodian, Vietnamese, Laos and Myanmar women – and girls – who marry Chinese men each year, plugging a gender gap incubated by Beijing’s three-decade-long one-child policy.

While the policy has ended, a shortfall of around 33 million women has left the same number of men facing life on the shelf.

Poverty drives many women from the Mekong region to gamble on marriage in China, double-locked by low education levels and a social expectation to provide for parents.

Others move for work but end up forced into marriage. The worst cases involve kidnapping and trafficking across porous borders.

There are happy marriages, with women also able to provide for the poor villages they left behind. But new domestic realities frequently unravel, leaving women at risk of abuse, detention under Chinese immigration law or “resale” into prostitution.

Nary – whose name has been changed on her request – spoke to a Cambodian marriage broker on her older brother’s advice.

“I trusted him,” Nary said in a whisper, as rain drove through holes in the tin roof of her family’s roadside shack outside Phnom Penh.

“My family is poor and I was expected to help them by marrying a Chinese man. So I went.”

But her brother stole the dowry that was meant to help the whole family and has since vanished.

To buy a wife in China costs between US$10,000 (RM42,000) and US$15,000 (RM63,000), a sum paid to brokers who give a couple of thousand to overseas associates for recruiting the brides.

A “dowry” of between US$1,000 (RM4,200) and US$3,000 is dangled in front of the bride’s family, while the young woman herself is last in the money chain, if she receives anything at all.

“Families are now looking to their daughters to see the ‘interest’ they can return to them,” says Chou Bun Eng, vice-chair of Cambodia’s National Committee for Counter Trafficking, referring to the money motive that prevails in some homes.

The marriage trade is big business – official figures say 10,000 Cambodian women alone are registered in the southern provinces of Guangdong, Guizhou and Yunnan.

Brides are often “warehoused” on arrival and their photos touted on WeChat and dating websites to would-be husbands.

The younger and prettier they are, the more expensive.

Nary travelled legally on a tourist visa to China but on arrival in Shanghai, she discovered the man who paid for her hand was a construction worker living in a village, not the “wealthy doctor” she had been promised.

In Cambodia, brokers and other third parties can be jailed for up to 15 years if caught, longer if the victim is a minor.

But convictions are rare, with brokers paying up to US$5,000 (RM21,000) to buy victims’ silence.

“The victims need the money,” a leading trafficking prosecutor said.

China also has laws against the practice, but enforcement is patchy in a country where family matters are given a wide berth by the authorities.

Nary’s marriage imploded one month after she gave birth to a baby boy, when her mother-in-law abruptly stopped her breastfeeding the infant. “She wouldn’t let me see him or even hold him,” she said.

The family pushed for divorce, but with an expired visa Nary knew that leaving the home would make her presence illegal in China.

Eventually she moved out and found a low-paid job for a few years in a nearby glass factory.

But her immigration status caught up with her and she was held in a detention centre for a year with scores of Vietnamese and Cambodian women, all with similar tales.

After her release, her mother reached out to a Cambodian charity who engineered her return in August this year.

Now she works for minimum wage in a garment factory, free from a bad marriage, but separated from her child.

“I know I will never see him again,” she says. — AFP

Why do we love Hallmark holiday movies so much? Perhaps it’s because they feature attractive couples who meet cute, overcome all obstacles, and enjoy a perfect holiday every single time. Unlike the rest of us mortal marrieds, who squabble, snap and fume at each other more often than we’d like to admit. It’s almost impossible to avoid conflict at this time of year, but experts assure us that there are ways to keep holiday stress from affecting your marriage.

Why do we get so bent out of shape during a time that’s supposed to be all about joy to the world and cozy family togetherness? “Couples can encounter a number of stressful situations, such as where to divide their time between each partner’s family, coping with family members who don’t get along, being financially overburdened, hosting events or out-of-town guests, traveling, and so on,” Dr. Marni Feuerman, a licensed marriage therapist in Boca Raton, FL, tells Romper. Add to that the hassle of trying to create an Instagram-worthy holiday, and you’ve got a pressure-cooker situation that would terrify even the Grinch.

Keeping your relationship strong in the midst of the holiday chaos takes some work, but the results are worth it. Follow this helpful expert advice, and you and your partner might even outdo the Hallmark couples in the seasonal cheer department.