Category Archives: Marriage & Divorce
Ray J Offers Spectacularly Bad Advice To Cardi B And Offset Following Their Split – BET
News of Cardi B and Offset‘s recent breakup has taken the world by storm.
Hours after Cardi B posted a video annoucning her separation from her hubby of one year, social media was immediately flooded with hot takes on their situation and what they should do moving forward.
One person offering advice to the newly separated couple is none other than R&B crooner-turned-reality star Ray J.
During a chat with TMZ, the proud husband and father 6-month-old Melody Love Norwood, reflected on his relationship with Cardi and Offset. “Offset’s my brother and Cardi B is like my sister. They always show me love. They did some RayCon commercials for me. I love both of them. I wish them the best I hope they get back together,” he explained.
His good intentions aside, Ray J followed up with some questionable adivce for the couple. “My prayers are going out because I think they’re good for each other. Sometimes you make mistakes and you wanna get it right and learn from the mistakes. I can only just pray for them.”
Ray, who experienced a slew of drama over the course of his relationship with his wife Princess Love, opened up about how the timing of their split could impact both the newly separated rappers. “When you’re making a lot of money, you’re busy all the time, so you don’t really understand it until you go back home,” he said.
When asked about rumors of Offset allegedly preparing threesomes that didn’t include his wife, Ray J added, “The wife gotta be involved. If she’s not there its adultery. I don’t know everybody has a different relationship. Time heals all. You just gotta learn from it.”
Earlier this week, Cardi B took to social media revealing that she and Offset had officially called it quits. Shortly after news of their split went viral, alleged convos of Offset attempting to set up a threesome with rising rapper, Cuban Doll and a woman named Summer Bunni were leaked. Summer Bunni quickly took to social media apologizing for her role in the demise of Cardi and Offset’s marriage.
Check out Ray J’s commentary in full below:
NeNe Leakes Gave Eva Marcille This Sage Relationship Advice: It's Ok to Go to Bed Mad, But Beware of THIS – Bravo
Eva Marcille is officially a married woman. And when The Real Housewives of Atlanta rookie tied the knot with attorney Michael Sterling back in October, many of her fellow Atlanta ‘Wives were there to support her. The ladies brought the style; and not only that: NeNe Leakes came armed with some words of wisdom for the bride.
Eva recently told People about the toast that NeNe gave at her wedding, and the advice the comedian offered. “Basically to tune the world out,” she said. “And at the end of the day, after these vows are said, it’s us two for the rest of our lives, and to have each other’s backs. Especially through the bad. The good is fine, but the bad is when you really need to have each other’s back.”
The advice didn’t stop after the last dance, either. Eva added that NeNe has taught her “a few other things” about being a wife, including to roll with the punches. “You know how they say never go to bed mad? No.You’re going to be mad sometimes,” Eva recanted. “But what NeNe says, which is very, very true, is she says don’t go to sleep apart from each other, especially if you’re mad … Stay together, because that frustration will dwindle, but that separation will start creating a wedge … Always stay together, and every night, sleep in the same bed, even if you’re mad.”
Personal Space is Bravo’s home for all things “relationships,” from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.
Helpful man poses a MeToo riddle – Detroit Free Press
Dear Amy: I like to think that I am a caring and sensitive man – one who respects women and appreciates the spirit of the MeToo movement.
Therefore, a recent experience has me disturbed. I am looking for some objective feedback.
One recent evening, I was with a woman that I know well. We had drinks before, during and after dinner.
It became apparent to me that she was quite intoxicated and probably should head to bed to sleep it off. I helped her up the stairs to the bathroom. After a few minutes, when I heard the bathroom door open, I came back upstairs to check on her. This is when things got “tricky.”
She was naked, and she made strong sexual advances toward me.
I knew that the “right” thing to do was to help her get dressed and into bed for sleep, and then go on about my own business. But I was weak, partly due to my strong attraction to her. We engaged in sexual activity, and during the acts I believed there was a possibility that the next day she would not remember (or at least she might not remember how things got started). Yet I continued, and for this I am feeling remorseful.
Have I committed “date rape”? Am I a “predator”?
If the situation came to a courtroom, or if I were a public figure, would people judge me to be a “bad” man?
And finally, Amy, does it matter that this woman is my wife of 25 years?
– Wondering Husband
Dear Husband: I hope this didn’t really happen; I’m assuming instead that your question might be a disingenuous and rude little riddle, designed to trip up an unsuspecting reader.
However, let’s press on.
You ask for an objective opinion. Here’s mine:
Let’s establish at the outset that no, you are not a caring and sensitive man. No, you do not respect the MeToo movement. That much is quite obvious.
Taking the scenario you describe at face value – yes, you sexually assaulted your wife. She was drunk; you were sober. She wasn’t able to consent to sex – not that you asked her.
Read more:
No, you did not commit “date rape.” You did, however, commit “marital rape.” You pursued an incapacitated woman for the purpose of having sex with her. Yes, this makes you a predator.
Importantly, and unfortunately – your wife is married to a man who thinks this is a clever and legitimate question worthy of some sort of debate. I genuinely feel sorry for her. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Turn in your good husband card. You are a cad.
Dear Amy: You ran a question from “Pay it Forward,” who was insulted when a stranger in line at the store offered to pick up their tab. “Pay” refused the gesture.
Here is my response: My wife of 40 years died last week. She died suddenly, during a routine medical procedure.
I couldn’t face another night eating alone, so I reserved a table at a favorite restaurant – an expensive gourmet place that my wife and I frequented.
After appropriate hugs and condolences from the staff, I was seated next to a social older couple who ordered what I was going to select. I asked about their order and the conversation turned to some things that we both had in common.
Eventually, I explained my lack of a dinner companion. We chatted amiably, friended each other on Facebook and they departed.
I motioned for my bill and found it has been taken care of by my newfound friends.
Their kindness and generosity made me tear up. (Of course, I reached out to them to thank them.)
My point is that the ability to accept an act of kindness is a lost art and it is this country’s most desperately needed form of etiquette.
We can’t give kindness if we don’t learn how to accept it.
– Thomas
Dear Thomas: My sincere condolences. You have attached the perfect lesson to accepting this generosity, and I think your story is going to inspire a lot of people to do the same. Connecting with others helps keep all of us afloat.
Dear Amy: Ah, your advice to “Middle Schooler” about dealing with testing jitters made me smile … especially this part: “…imagine a big, friendly golden retriever sitting calmly beside you while you take your test.”
What a great image! I’m not in middle school, but I’m going to use it.
– A Fan
Dear Fan: Well, it works for me!
You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamyamydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter askingamy or “like” her on Facebook.
Read or Share this story: https://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2018/12/07/metoo-marital-rape/2090928002/
Life is too valuable to waste in a loveless, onerous marriage – Detroit Free Press
Dear Carolyn: I’ve heard “life is too short” a lot lately. It makes me think I’ve wasted significant time, energy and money in a 23-year relationship that has caused me so much pain and exhaustion.
My husband is difficult and controlling. Both tendencies come directly from his family: His mother is a controlling narcissist.
When I was younger, I thought I just needed to improve and that would relieve some of his anxiety, selfishness and control issues. It was not until I had children that his tendencies really caused me to question what I was doing.
We live close to his family, all of whom have – on several occasions in recent years – given me the silent treatment, called me names, and generally caused me a lot of stress. After therapy, I’ve been able to establish good boundaries with his family. And I’ve tried in many different ways to talk with my husband to make him understand what I am going through. Since his family is his norm, he doesn’t fully comprehend.
He now has meltdowns on a weekly basis that include the silent treatment and sometimes name-calling. I respond calmly most of the time, because I just have to accept him for what he is, since he refuses to seek help. I have three small children and a household to care for – he helps out at home only when and if he feels like it, and usually nothing too taxing. I also am the sole provider for my household. So, I work full time and have a full-time household with little support.
I may have the opportunity to move for my job. I think perhaps physical distance from his family might work. Does it ever help in these situations? It is the only thing I haven’t reasonably tried.
– Life Is Too Short
No, it’s not. You haven’t tried divorce.
I’m not saying you should have, just that you haven’t.
Generally I avoid pointing out things people hardly need to be told – I don’t explain there’s such a thing as adoption, for example, to people struggling to conceive, because duh – but the blind spot in your letter seems so vast I feel compelled to make an exception:
Divorce is a valid legal and emotional remedy for 23 years of pain and buffer against 23 more.
Life is too short? Maybe. I say life is too long to justify spending its duration with an apparently capable partner who doesn’t contribute emotional support, income, or proportionate domestic effort – you don’t even mention love, anywhere – and who does contribute selfishness, stress, poor boundaries, a nasty family, and weekly meltdowns/name-callings/silent treatments.
Read more:
I’m glad you found therapy helpful and I’m glad your boundaries with his family have held. But allow me to suggest that wasn’t a solution unto itself, but instead was Part 1 of a difficult but overdue long-life/short-life overhaul.
Please explore Part 2 in private consultation with a very good lawyer, and in therapy again, solo. (If he miraculously relents, then he goes solo, too.) Read “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. Don’t skimp on self- and child-preservation, or safety, especially given a possible relocation. Assume he’ll make this as tough on you as he can.
But ask yourself: If you were your child, would you want to grow up in this home?
Email Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.
Read or Share this story: https://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2018/12/07/marriage-problems-advice-relationships/2125730002/
