Category Archives: Marriage & Divorce
Guess How Ariana Grande Feels About Engagement Ring Shopping Now
Ariana Grande, a Cancer queen, is handling her split from ex-fiancé Pete Davidson better than most people handle being ghosted after two dates. She has returned her ridiculously expensive engagement ring, released a catchy (and respectful!) breakup anthem, and she’s already making playful jokes about the institution of marriage. This week, when the Zoe Report posted an Instagram about picking out “the perfect” ring for your fiancé, the 25-year-old singer couldn’t help but leave a little unsolicited advice for those looking to make the ultimate commitment to their partner. In the Instagram, a woman’s hand is adorned with what appears to be seven rings, most of which are apparently engagement rings. “13 tips & tricks for finding the perfect engagement ring (including the popular metal you should actually avoid),” the caption reads. Grande, who follows the Zoe Report’s Instagram and clearly has a lot of thoughts about engagements, figured she might as well toss in some concise input on how to find your partner’s dream ring: “don’t.”
In all fairness, Grande never said she “hated being engaged.” As she sings in her breakup anthem, she’s even “thankful” for Davidson. But right now, she doesn’t even want to think about marriage — she’s into doing her own thing. Engagements? Thank u, next.
Dear Abby: Man's reluctance to buy diamond ring jeopardizes marriage plans
Advice: I’m glad you asked. Give her the ring. It will be cheaper in the long run. Trust me on that.
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I love each other very much and have been living together with our children for five years. We intend to get married soon. Here is the rub: She’s “old school.” She believes she should receive a diamond ring as part of the marriage proposal.
I would marry her tomorrow, but I don’t believe in spending thousands of dollars on a piece of carbon. I understand that somehow she equates her value/social status with the size of her wedding ring (“I deserve a nice ring”), but I don’t agree. I think the expense is unwarranted and, quite frankly, as the person paying for most of it, unfair.
She has offered to chip in and even buy one from a used wedding site, but I’d rather spend that money on something we could both enjoy or at least on something more practical that she can enjoy. I can find the money to buy the ring, but in my heart, I don’t see the value or buy into the fantasy the diamond industry has put into some women’s heads.
What do I do? Cave in and give her what she wants because I love her? Or push for a compromise, which will definitely be an uphill battle and potentially spoil what is supposed to be a special thing in our lives? — HUNG UP ON THE RING IN RENO
DEAR HUNG UP: I’m glad you asked. Give her the ring. It will be cheaper in the long run. Trust me on that. And in the future, when she asks what you would like for a gift, tell her your fantasy is that she’ll make a comparable down payment on your next car. That way, she can make your dream come true.
DEAR ABBY: My father and his wife are retired and live across the country from us. Dad is hard of hearing and doesn’t like to use the phone, even with hearing aids. He also won’t text, so we mostly communicate by email.
The challenge is that he and his wife share an email account. She reads every message I send to Dad and often replies without telling him, so I’m never sure if he receives them or not. Also, if we’re discussing something sensitive — like finances or issues with my siblings — she’ll weigh in when it’s not really her business. In one case, she posted parts of our discussion on her social media!
I have talked to Dad about this. He says married couples don’t have secrets. I suspect he may not want his wife to be able to communicate privately with other people (she’s much younger than he is) and prefers the shared email for this reason. Is it unreasonable for me to want a direct line of communication with my father, or must I save up private conversations for the one time a year we are able to visit in person? — DISTRESSED DAUGHTER IN IDAHO
DEAR DAUGHTER: I’m sorry I can’t wave a magic wand and change your father. What’s going on should not be blamed on his wife. Because he has made plain to you that he sees no reason for privacy and wants her to be privy to your conversations, saving up those private chats until they are “in person” is exactly what you are going to have to do.
DEAR VETERANS: I salute your service to our country. My thanks to each of you, as well as to the brave men and women still on active duty, some of whom are in harm’s way. You personify patriotism and self-sacrifice with your dedication. I also would like to acknowledge your families for the sacrifices they, too, have made and continue to make every day. — Love, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Amy Dickinson: Couple resists pressure to attend family wedding – La Crosse Tribune
Dear Amy: My husband is from a European country. We are in our 60s.
I work part time, and he hasn’t worked in a decade due to health problems.
We are being pressured by his family to attend his sister’s wedding next year in Europe.
The costs would be astronomical for both of us to attend. We would have to stay with his mother, and one of us would have to sleep on a couch. Our little dog would have to be kenneled and we would be worried the whole time.
My husband hates weddings and social gatherings, and is refusing to go unless I go. He also says I should go without him.
His family is feuding. Half won’t attend this wedding (and they live there). His mother was yelling when I told her he didn’t want to go. She implied that his sister would be extremely upset if we don’t go.
My husband doesn’t want his sister to hate him.
What is the way out of this mess? — Hard Pass
Dear Hard Pass: You and your husband need to find one excuse (sorry, make that “reason”) to miss this wedding, and stick with it. Piling on various (completely valid) reasons to miss this wedding makes it seem as if you are trying to create a smoke screen. (Do you want to go without your husband? If so, then attend, but understand that this will not satisfy his family.)
Your husband should be dealing with this, for the following reason: These are his family members. Sending you out ahead as a human shield only creates more opportunities for them to bulldoze past you and appeal to him.
Understand that this family pressure stems from the fact that they want to see him! Rather than blame family members for wanting his presence, he should acknowledge this, and be respectful and firm in response.
He should prepare himself (rehearse, if necessary), and give a very polite “regret” to this invitation. If I were he, I would anchor to his poor health as a reason. If he is not well enough to work, then he is probably not well enough to travel to Europe.
He should contact the bride — not his mother — to say, “I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to make it home for your wedding. I’m very sorry to miss it, but I hope you will send us lots of pictures so we can enjoy your day from here.”
His sister, his mother and perhaps other family members will pile on the pressure, but you both need to stay calm and polite, and respond, “We know you are disappointed, but there is no way around this. We hope it is a beautiful day for you.”
Dear Amy: I had a tiny 12-year-old Chihuahua. I had her for eight years, but a month ago, I gave her to a friend, because I was gone all day and it wasn’t fair to the dog.
But now I miss her so much! I’m not away as much as I was — I’m home more now.
Is it wrong for me to ask for the dog back? My friend probably wouldn’t give her back anyway. She has already told me how much she adores her, but I’m wondering what you think? — Lonely Without Her
Dear Lonely: I wonder what was really going on that you surrendered this elderly dog to your friend. But yes, at this point, if things are different in your household, you should at least ask if your friend would give her back.
If the dog seems well-adjusted to both households, your friend might opt for a sort of joint custody arrangement, where you have the dog during times when she is away, and visa-versa.
Dear Amy: I am concerned about your advice to “Working on it in the Midwest,” who wanted to make amends for a drunken sexual assault he committed in college. I couldn’t believe that you actually suggested he should turn himself into police!
I am a lawyer. He could be facing years of jail time! You should have suggested he seek legal counsel before following your terrible advice! — Concerned
Dear Concerned: In my answer, I wrote: “Are you prepared to face the possible legal consequences (including being charged with a crime and/or sued) for admitting guilt for what you’ve done?”
I intended that as a (perhaps too subtle) suggestion for him to do his due diligence and understand all of the consequences.
Michelle Obama Says She and Barack Sought Marriage Counseling When They Needed It
For many, Barack and Michelle Obama‘s nearly-three decades long romance is the ultimate relationship goals, but the former First Lady wants people to know that a good marriage and partnership takes work — and that it’s not wrong to ask for help when you need it.
In an interview with Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts, Obama shared that she and the former president have gotten marriage counseling in the past to help “talk out our differences.”
“I know too many young couples who struggle and think somehow, there’s something wrong with them,” Obama said. “I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama — who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other — we work on our marriage and we get help with our marriage when we need it.”
Obama also shared how while it may seem that marriage is “supposed to be easy,” it is also an opportunity to learn about not only your partner, but yourself.
“What I learned about myself was that my happiness was up to me and I started working out more, I started asking for help, not just from him but from other people,” she said. “I stopped feeling guilty.”
Watch the Michelle Obama Good Morning America interview below.
