Category Archives: Marriage & Divorce
'Ultimate Date Night' in Elmira blends humor, marriage advice
If you want your marriage to last, you shouldn’t spend over a certain amount on your wedding. Buzz60’s Sean Dowling has more. Buzz60
Husband-and-wife comedians Jay and Laura Laffoon will host the event Sunday
Husband-and-wife comedians Jay and Laura Laffoon will host an “Ultimate Date Night” event for couples at 7 p.m. Sunday at Southside Alliance Church (530 Pennsylvania Ave. in Elmira).
As marriage counselors, authors and speakers, the Laffoons have interviewed thousands of couples about marriage and family issues, and they have no qualms about putting their marriage on display — flaws and all — for the good of relationships everywhere.
“Over the course of 30 years, there have been days I can remember when and where I got married, but for the life of me, I can’t remember why,” Laura Laffoon said. “Our show looks at what happens when the ‘Streetcar Named Desire’ collides with the ‘Locomotive Named Reality.’”
Intertwined with their humor, however, is a serious message.
“It takes courage to stay married,” Jay Laffoon said. “We love to golf and one of our favorite golf quotes is from Tommy Armour, who said, ‘If you want to play golf, you’ve got to learn to love the struggle.’”
Learn more at jayandlaura.com.
Tickets are $30 per couple in advance or $35 at the door; purchase at fln.org/tickets or call the Family Life ticket office at 800-927-9083.
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Millennials Are Reducing the Divorce Rate, Study Says
The generation that invented #RelationshipGoals seems to be practicing what it tweets.
The divorce rate in the U.S. is down a whopping 18 percent from 2008 to 2016, reports new data from University of Maryland sociology professor Philip Cohen, and it’s looking like millennials may take the credit. (Yay for the recognition we so desperately seek, right?)
Cohen’s analysis suggests that younger couples—Generation X and especially millennials—are waiting longer to walk down the aisle, and consequently, making more informed choices in their life partners.
“One of the reasons for the decline is that the married population is getting older and more highly educated,” Cohen told Bloomberg. Not to mention that extra time as a singleton allows them to focus on positioning their education status, careers, and financial situation in a better place than that of their 22-year-old selves surviving on Cup O’ Noodles and granola bars. Ideally, this causes them to unload less stress on their partners when they marry and begin to share preexisting personal problems in those categories.
Interesting to note, however, is that the number of people getting married in general is also decreasing. More couples have found contentment just living together—maybe even raising a few kids—but not making anything official on paper.
“Marriage is more and more an achievement of status,” Cohen explains, “rather than something that people do regardless of how they’re doing.”
And while baby boomers have continued to divorce at unusually high rates, all the way into their 60s and 70s, according to Bowling Green’s National Center for Family and Marriage Research, the overall plummet is still expected to continue.
“The change among young people is particularly striking,” Susan Brown, a sociology professor at Bowling Green State University also told Bloomberg. “The characteristics of young married couples today signal a sustained decline [in divorce rates] in the coming years.”
See more: The Best Marriage Advice EVER
Great job, team! You’ve earned the right to hashtag away. 😉
Dear Abby: Man confesses to long-ago affair with best friend's wife
Advice: If you have had a happy 40-year marriage, I think you should let it remain so. “Divorce” the “friend” and let it go.
DEAR ABBY: I found out a month ago that my wife and my best friend had a relationship 40 years ago when we were in our 20s. My friend hinted about it, so I asked him point blank and he confessed.
Obviously, if you can’t trust someone, he’s not your friend. My question is, should I ask my wife to tell me what went on or just sweep it under the rug and move forward?
Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what happened to make her stray, or how long the affair went on under my nose. I tried talking to her about it right after I found out, but she started crying, which is one of my weaknesses. I don’t like making folks upset, so I took the blame because I wasn’t a very good husband. We married very young, and I wasn’t ready. So, what do I do? — HURT AND ANGRY
DEAR H AND A: I would love to know your “friend’s” motivation for hinting so broadly that he’d had an affair with your wife that you’d ask him point blank. He seems more a troublemaker than a stalwart friend to me.
If you have had a happy 40-year marriage, I think you should let it remain so. OK, so neither of you were angels. “Divorce” the “friend” and let it go.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 30, married and the only female analyst in an office with 12 men. I love my job and I enjoy working here, but it is very hard to prove yourself as a woman in a male-dominated industry.
There is one other woman in my office, a recently divorced administrator I barely know. She’s very open about her online dating and sex life, and I am at a loss. I feel it’s extremely inappropriate for her to share detailed information with me in the workplace. I’m also afraid the guys will hear her and take me less seriously as a professional and equal.
I have tried politely changing the subject, ignoring her or avoiding her, but nothing seems to work. I don’t want to embarrass her by telling her flat out to not discuss her sex life with me, but I’m not sure what else I can do. What would you suggest? — COVERING MY EARS
DEAR COVERING: What the woman is doing can be considered sexual harassment, and in most sizable businesses — yours appears to be one — there are policies in place to protect employees. I suggest you tell her that hearing about her sexual escapades makes you uncomfortable and to please stop. And if she doesn’t, discuss it with either human resources or your employer.
DEAR ABBY: My gentleman friend and I are senior citizens who live together. We have acquired a dog and cat. I pay for the cat’s food, vaccinations and litter. He pays for the dog’s food and vaccinations.
Last week my boyfriend accidentally slammed the door on the cat’s tail. Part of it had to be amputated, and the bill for surgery, drugs, cone, etc. came close to $400. Neither of us is hurting financially. Who do you think should foot this bill? — MOTHER OF FUR BABIES
DEAR MOTHER: That poor kitty! I not only think your “gentleman” friend should foot the bill, I think he should have volunteered to do it. If he didn’t, shame on him.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Dr. Patty Ann Tublin's Tuesday Tips of advice for the workplace and social situations
(WTNH) – Relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin is helping you improve your life in the workplace and in social situations.
Tom in Orange: I hate giving presentations at work. AND I really hate when I get interrupted with questions during my presentations because I get totally thrown off point. Can you help me deal with questions without being totally thrown off track?
Dr. Patty Ann: Here’s the good news: many times people ask questions because they are engaged and interested in your presentation. If they are asking questions because they are somewhat confused, for whatever reason, this gives you an opportunity to clear up any confusion they may have so they may get the most out of your material.
My first suggestion is to be as thoroughly prepared as possible on the subject matter you are presenting. Nothing will ever make you feel more confident going into any presentation than being as prepared as possible, although you can never really anticipate every question someone may ask.
IF it is possible, and appropriate, ask people to hold off on any questions they may have until after you’ve made your presentation. IF that is not appropriate, then do the following:
– Make sure you understand the question being asked by getting clarification.
– If you don’t know the answer, say so and then add: I will look into that and get back to you. AND make sure you DO follow up.
– Answer the question posed as clearly and concisely as possible. Stay focused & answer the exact question being answered – do not go off on a tangent -otherwise you will sidetrack yourself.
Then, if you do forget where you were in the presentation before the question was asked – don’t be shy to ask the attendees, in a light hearted manner: “Now what were we talking about again?”
Brit in New London: My best friend is having an emotional affair. She thinks it’s no big deal because she is not having sex with her “friend.” I told her she is wrong. It is a big deal. Am I right?
Dr. Patty Ann: Yes Brit! You are totally right. Having an emotional affair can be just as damaging to a marriage as having a sexual affair. And if you are not sure whether your relationship with someone has turned into an emotional affair ask yourself this question: Am I telling my friend intimate things about my life that I would normally tell my spouse? If the answer to this question is yes, you are having an emotional affair, If you want to stay in a healthy marriage you need to stop having a relationship, of any kind, with this friend immediately.
Submit your questions to Dr. Patty Ann Tublin on Twitter: @drpattyann
