Category Archives: Marriage & Divorce
This is why Marie Kondo's advice on books really stings – The Sydney Morning Herald
Personal choice has become a personal attack in these thin-skinned times.
The topic was brought up again in an episode of Tidying Up, in which Kondo advised a woman to get rid of books she hadn’t read and probably never would. Author Anakana Schofield tweeted, “Do NOT listen to Marie Kondo or Konmari in relation to books. Fill your apartment & world with them… Every human needs a v extensive library not clean, boring shelves [sic].”
The tweet promptly went viral, sparking spirited debate.
As journalist Sophie Heawood tweeted, the idea of culling books feels like an attack on the very essence of many bookish types.
“Germaine Greer once said women carry big handbags as external manifestations of the womb,” she wrote. “[I’m] starting to wonder if people hoard books as external manifestations of our brains and that’s why we freak out at Marie Kondo saying get rid of em. We cling to them as proof of our intellect.”
Until very recently this was me.
Loading
My book collection, an ensemble organised in my own dewey decimal system of, say, women who lived by their wits (Dorothy Parker, Nancy Mitford), women whom I model my fantasy aesthetic on (Joan Didion, obviously), sexist male writers I secretly love (Roth, Updike), cult books that everybody including me enjoy dropping into conversation (Normal People, The Best of Everything, Franzen, sometimes) was a source of pride, if not a default personality trait.
I lugged boxes of books from sharehouse to sharehouse, and then into the first apartment my now husband and I shared. We combined our books, an unlikely merger of his weighty historical tomes and books on crypto-currency with my beloved coming of age novels that felt like they were written just for me (The Dud Avocado, The Pursuit of Love, A Room of One’s Own) and books I turned to in moments of crisis (be it comfort reading I Capture the Castle or reading Nora Ephron when I doubted everything).
I was that person who said I could never get a kindle because I liked the feel (the smell!) of books. And, secretly, I also liked them to be on display in my bookshelf.
But then we moved house late last year.
My books were packed into Woollies green bags and lugged, in a grumbling fashion, by our movers. I’ll do a cull, I promised myself as I packed up books I couldn’t really justify keeping: books bought on holiday for a quick holiday read, the Twilight books I secretly devoured one after the other, books from the course on erotic fiction I did at university and mostly kept to test people’s reactions.
Instead, a forced cull happened for me when Sydney was hit with a month’s worth of rain in two hours, flooding our garage and ruining almost half of my books which were waiting, ironically, for our new bookshelves to arrive as we were overflowing.
(Curiously, all of the Bret Easton Ellis remained unscathed. Something I haven’t quite processed my hypothesis for or feelings on.)
Firstly, I cried. Because you can’t really replace books, not truly. They were bought at certain times and read in certain moods. That can’t be brought back by a trawl on Amazon.
Many of my books were bought secondhand, some of them with inscriptions and, yes, a lot of them were books I wasn’t quite sure why I’d kept. Did they spark joy? Yes and no. Were they used or useful? Yes and no. I only re-read a very small number of books and let’s be honest, I never could get through Don Delillo and yet there he was on my shelf. Was I surprisingly upset by the prospect of having less books to show off about? Well, yes. Ouch.
Loading
I don’t think there should be a set number of books one should keep, and also books aren’t always about sparking joy; they can make you angry, or less alone, or inspired.
We might treasure a book because it challenged us or was beautifully written or because you read it when you were falling in love.
(A sidenote to this: while voracious readers tend to be my favourite people I married a man who rarely reads fiction and something I have learned along the way that simply reading a lot of books doesn’t automatically make you a more interesting person.)
Kondo is right in pushing us to think about which books we keep and why. Investing too much of your identity into stuff, even books, or how the world views you is a very effective way to drain happiness from your life. Crafting the perfect #shelfie for Instagram is about as soul filling as reading American Psycho.
And beneath all this (or beneath that towering, dusty stack of books perhaps) something might be lost — the pure and unadulterated joy of reading without any caveats, distractions or anything to prove.
Annie Brown is a lifestyle writer at The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.
Most Viewed in Lifestyle
Loading
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s stylist Aastha Sharma gives tips for brides-to-be – The Indian Express
Celebrity stylist Aastha Sharma shares fashion tips.
Every time Aishwarya Rai Bachchan walks the red carpet at the annual film festival at Cannes, her sartorial choices become the talking point of the day. Apart from the actor’s confidence and charm, much of the credit often belongs to her stylist who brainstorms for hours to deliver the head-turning outfit. And in the ongoing wedding season, who better than one of the best stylists of B-Town to take tips from?
We spoke to renowned celebrity stylist and the woman behind Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s magical Cannes outfits, Aastha Sharma, who took us through the logistics of putting together a bridal trousseau. Excerpts from the interview.
According to you, what should be the first concern of a bride while picking a bridal outfit?
The first concern of every bride should be that they shouldn’t look like their reference images. Your outfit should be unique. It should be your choice.
Which designers would you pick if you have to meet the brief of a contemporary Indian bride?
I would pick Gaurav Gupta, Anamika Khanna, Anita Dongre and Amit Aggarwal, to name a few.
What colours do you think brides should be experimenting with these days?
All gold, full metallic and jewel tone shades and if you’re looking to really experiment then you can wear white.
Deepika, Priyanka, Sonam – whose bridal look did you like?
I loved every bit of Sonam’s wedding looks.
If you had a chance to dress Aishwarya Rai Bachchan on her wedding day, how would you have done it?
Exactly what she wore. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was a stunning, classic look and I loved it.
What fashion trend would you personally love to see making a comeback?
Indian by Manish Arora.
What tips do you have for brides-to-be?
Don’t think about engulfing yourself in heavy lehengas and heavy jewellery. Strike a balance and always be comfortable.
Who is your biggest fashion inspiration?
Tilda Swinton.
Who according to you is the best-dressed actor/actress in the industry? And among the newcomers, whose style do you like the most?
Advertising
Sonam Kapoor, hands down. Among the newcomers, I would say Ananya Panday and Janhvi Kapoor.
How a Fort Worth Woman's Idea to Pay for Wedding Turned Into a Small Business – NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth
Weddings, football and the holidays keep this local businesswoman plenty busy as she uses her decorating skills to make sweet treats for her clients.
Tay Mendoza-Gardner had an idea to help pay for her wedding, but her talent for creating unique cookies has since turned into a bustling side business.
For Mendoza-Gardner, the early beginnings of her business Fort Worth Galletas started while she and her husband were planning their wedding. The idea at the time was to make some extra money to help pay bills off a little faster.
“So I started making cookies, since I like to bake, and I can draw and kind of have an artsy side to me. So I decided to give this a shot and see how it went, and ended up not being too shabby at it,” Mendoza-Gardner said.
And her “side hustle” has taken off. She was going to stop and give it all up after she got married but after a year, Tay is still at it getting orders from people for all kinds of special occasions — Dallas Cowboy watch parties, Texas-themed cookies, birthday and holiday parties, engagements parties, even custom cookies for companies across North Texas.
“I started this little side business just making them for a little friends here and there, and ended up getting more orders, just kind of a little ripple effect,” Mendoza-Gardner said.
But, she admits this side hustle comes with some challenges. She works full time in the oil and gas industry, a job she says she still loves, and is committed to.
“I like doing it. On top of my full time job though, there’s days where it becomes a lot and the lack of sleep kind of makes me second guess kind of not doing it anymore, but I try to limit my orders for the week so that way I don’t have the lack of sleep and it’s not as bad,” Mendoza-Gardner said.
And she gives advice for those looking to start a little something on the side to make some extra money.
“I would definitely say to research your clientele and make sure that it would be worth it. Once you start buying supplies it becomes kind of like a small addiction,” Mendoza-Gardner said. “You’re like oh, I need this, I need that, trying to put it all together, trying to use it here and there. Just make sure that the money that you’re spending for your supplies, you’re actually get your money’s worth out of it because it can add up pretty quick.”
But, she says, so far so good and that side cash isn’t so bad either.
“Just the side cash is good here and there just to pay for little things,” Mendoza-Gardner said.
She says, time management is critical. A side hustle can be very time consuming, especially when you have a full time day job. So she says the key is taking on what you can handle, so you can maintain your quality of work on the side.
Ranveer Singh was asked to give Ranbir Kapoor relationship advice. Here is his answer – India Today
Before Deepika Padukone found her happily-ever-after with Ranveer Singh, she was in a relationship with Ranbir Kapoor. Even after Ranbir and Deepika parted ways in 2009, they have remained on great terms with each other. In fact, Ranveer also shares a friendly equation with him.
In a recent interview, Ranveer was asked to dole out some relationship advice to Ranbir, who is currently going strong with Alia Bhatt. Ranveer said that Ranbir “mature” enough to know how to handle a relationship and did not require any advice.
“Ranbir is his own person. He is mature, he is an adult. He has seen life. And I’m sure he is capable of making his own decisions. He doesn’t need advice from anyone,” Ranveer said.
Currently, Ranbir is in a steady relationship with Alia. With even their families giving the relationship their stamp of approval, buzz is that Ranbir and Alia are planning to get engaged in the near future.
Apparently, Neetu Kapoor is keen that the couple exchange rings in June, but they want to wait till the release of the first installment of Ayan Mukerji’s fantasy drama Brahmastra, which marks their first film together. Brahmastra, which also features Amitabh Bachchan, Mouni Roy, Nagarjuna Akkineni and Dimple Kapadia, will hit the theatres on Christmas 2019.
When Alia was asked about her marriage plans in an interview last year, she had said that it would have to wait. “When will I marry? Why is everyone asking me when I am getting married. The same question is coming all over. So you know, I am only 25 years old. I think it’s too soon to get married right now,” she had said.
ALSO READ | PM Narendra Modi and young Bollywood star in Selfie of the Year. See pic
ALSO SEE: Ranbir Kapoor and Alia Bhatt lead young Bollywood at meeting with PM Modi
ALSO WATCH | Alia Bhatt opens up about her link-up rumours with Ranbir Kapoor











