Category Archives: Relationships

Riz Ahmed, Reid Scott play complicated characters in 'Venom'

LOS ANGELES — The Marvel Cinematic Universe’s norm is there’s no doubt about who’s good and who’s bad. Think of Thanos, the Vulture or Dr. Doom. There’s plenty of conflict in director Ruben Fleischer’s (“Zombieland”) action-filled “Venom,” but there’s a lot more gray area when it comes to the characters.

Even the film’s central figure of Venom is hard to peg because once the space-traveling Symbiote arrives on Earth, he ends up in the body of no-nonsense journalist Eddie Brock. What the two do together often crosses the line between good and evil.

Then there’s Dr. Carlton Drake (Riz Ahmed), a billionaire whose ambitions to seek sanctuary in space when Earth is no longer inhabitable, who’s behind events that set much of the story lines in motion. The question is whether Drake should be considered good or bad.

Ahmed understands there are some real world parallels to the character he plays, but none of them were a blueprint to create the complicated character of Drake. He took bits and pieces of a lot of people and blended that with what he saw in the comics where Drake appeared. The character first appeared in “The Amazing Spider-Man” No. 298.

Drake became a more important character in “Venom” because unlike in the comic book origin, there is no connection to Spider-Man. That’s why Ahmed’s got more time to play Drake’s many layers.

“My character is someone who is very well-intentioned,” says Ahmed, whose past works include “The Night of …” and “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.” “He’s doing a very ambitious thing. That same ambition that drives that initial mission kind of overtakes him.

“I don’t think of him as a bad guy. I don’t think he’s greedy or trying to hurt anyone. He’s just trying to make sure the human species evolves. Now, granted, he thinks he’s the pinnacle of human evolution as we already have it. There is an element of narcissism about him as he has a hunger for greatness.”

The hunger is what ends up giving Brock an alien version of a Jekyll and Hyde personality as he deals with Venom. The pair become so close Venom even gives Brock some dating advice about his former girlfriend, Anne (Michelle Williams).

This is another place Fleischer blurs the lines when it comes to his characters. Anne is now dating Dr. Patrick Mulligan (Reid Scott), and that should automatically make him and Brock enemies. But, Mulligan is far more textured than that, as he actually comes to the aid of Brock.

“The love triangle allows for the character to be seen in many ways,” Scott says. “We wanted to see him as an advisor — at least from Eddie’s point of view — because he’s with Eddie’s ex-girlfriend. We had a lot of fun with that because I tried to approach the character in that he got a huge kick out of Eddie Brock.

“The fact that he’s always been a fan of Eddie Brock makes for a nice bit of tension. In a movie like this, it’s all about heightening the stakes. The ultimate stake being saving the world, but all the way down the line he can’t even get the woman back he loves because she’s fallen for somebody else.”

It’s not just the roles that are complicated. The actors also have resumes that reflect a blend of comedy and drama. Scott has starred in a broad range of television projects from the deeply dramatic “The Big C” to the political comedy “Veep.” For Ahmed, this is the second big action movie for him, but he also has worked on small films like “Nightcrawler.”

Ahmed says the size of the production doesn’t change how he approaches each role.

“Each character belongs in their own world with their own reality and their own set of circumstances. You just have to commit to that,” Ahmed says.

Scott describes going from a comedy like “Veep” to a dark action movie such as “Venom” is his way of making sure no one forgets he can play a wide variety of roles. Now that “Veep” is coming to an end, Scott is trying to decide what acting road he wants to take next. He sees his role in “Venom” as a perfect bridge because the character is so complicated.

In the case of “Venom,” both he and Scott had to commit to highly textured characters. Blending good and evil is a lot like mixing sharps and flats in a musical composition. Ahmed’s aware of how music can represent a lot of different things because he has been performing as a rap artist under the name Riz MC. His new single, “Mogambo,” will be released Wednesday.

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Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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Amy Dickinson: Mom feels guilty letting kids into offender's home

Dear Amy: My father-in-law is a sex offender who abused his own daughters when they were children. He spent my husband’s middle school and high school years in prison.

I spent time in this home when dating my husband. His father and I never had any problems, but ultimately, I made the decision that I would not be involved with his parents after they continuously disrespected boundaries of mine.

I have not dictated to my husband regarding him having a relationship with them, and don’t have any interest in doing so.

My problem is, we have young children — a 4-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.

As our daughter has grown, I’ve become very worried about my judgment in ever letting our children spend time at their grandparents’ house.

I had relented earlier on and let my husband take the kids to their house, but now I feel it is wrong to trust them to go over there. I feel helpless, since I do not attend with them.

My kids have lots of cousins that they love. They will be excluded from activities if I put my foot down and don’t let them go to that house.

I feel guilty and lost. I don’t want to make my husband feel bad — his family has already been torn apart because of this.

No one will talk about the abuse that took place, and it’s almost as if it never happened. They cut the daughters who were abused out of their lives.

I don’t want to insult anyone or hurt my husband.

What should I do? — Worried Wife

Dear Worried: Imagine this: You won’t walk across the railroad tracks on a blind curve.

Instead, you send your young children scampering across — with no knowledge or information, no empowering education and no ability to discern about any possible dangers.

Granted, these girls are with their father when they are at their grandparents’, but from what you describe about this family, the parents have successfully banished his victims, have erased this very serious crime (it sounds as if he served at least five years) from their family narrative and are comfortable having children interact with a convicted sex offender in his home.

Please, never subject your children to a situation you aren’t willing to face yourself. You should either be brave enough to be with them, or you should make sure their father is empowered and vigilant.

As a sex offender, your father-in-law is legally prevented from having access to children in schools or in the neighborhood. And yet, his own family — the people who know the most about his history — are placing children in his path.

I can understand why you don’t want to interfere with your husband’s relationship with his father, but you must advocate for your children. Talk with your husband about this and develop a strategy. Do this as parents and partners.

Dear Amy: “Concerned About Safety” asked for advice regarding her high-risk, thrill-seeking boyfriend. I think he should connect with a production company looking for brave stuntmen. There he would learn that science, technology and logistics play a huge role in making what seems deadly become survivable.

If he is really interested in doing what looks stupid, he should sign up for training and wise up on his high-risk survival skills. — SPS

Dear SPS: Several readers suggested a future in stunt work for this guy. Although I suspect he lacks the discipline, I love this idea.

Dating Advice: Seven things to NEVER say to a tall woman

For the mental well-being of all the tall women out there, please avoid saying the following seven statements …

I am a tall woman – 183cm tall to be precise. To a limit, tallness in women is considered a desirable trait, but when you are six foot tall, people begin to act like you’re a freak of nature.

This is clearly not desirable. I often look at petite, small women with envy: they are considered cute and feminine, whereas I am considered Amazonian.

As a tall woman, I can also never just melt into the crowd

I am always noticed, always looked at, always in sight. So sometimes, it can be tiring when strangers feel the need to comment on my physical appearance, when I just want to be left alone.

So, for the mental well-being of all the tall women out there, please avoid saying the following seven statements:

Wow! You’re so tall!

Really? Me? Tall? Never! I thought I was short! Come on people, surely you must know that I know I am unusually tall for a woman? How would you feel if I commented on your large beer boep, or your balding head? Perhaps I could comment on the fact that you have brown hair? Or blue eyes? I don’t need to point it out, because (and here’s the crux) you know. Plus, maybe you are a bit self-conscious of your bulbous nose. Maybe pointing it out will embarrass you? I know that being tall is not a negative thing, but it is so tiring to hear it every day. And eventually, I do start feeling like I am a bit of a freak (as if I am the only tall woman to ever have existed).

You must have really big feet? What’s your shoe size?

Again, seriously? Asking about my shoe size is none of your business and again, it hurts my feelings. You’re acting as if I am a circus act, and my feet aren’t that big (only a size 8). My advice is to use the following test: what would you say to a woman with really large breasts? You definitely wouldn’t stare at them and marvel at the size. “My, what big boobies you have!” And you certainly wouldn’t ask her what bra size she wears. It’s just rude and weird.

What’s the weather like up there?

Ha-freaking-ha. The only thing us tall women can do with this is smile weakly and edge away. Jokes about the physical appearance of other people are usually hurtful to the target of the joke. Apply the boob test: would you make a joke about a woman’s breasts being so large they enter a room before she does? I’m thinking you wouldn’t.

tall woman 1

Men must be so intimidated by your height!

Well, I am married to a taller man and I have dated shorter men, which was never a problem. Asking me this question implies that you think men don’t find me attractive. In a society where looks count for a lot, that can be hurtful.

Did you play netball at school?

I didn’t, actually. I was terrible at sports. Just because I am tall, doesn’t mean I am sporty. Are you going to ask a black person if he is a good runner because of his skin colour? Unlikely – you’d be considered a racist if you did. So why is it okay to assume things about me because of my physical appearance?

Could you get that down for me?

I honestly don’t mind helping people get things down from shelves, but only when I offer. I do not appreciate people asking me to get beans down from the top shelf while I am having a conversation with my husband about what to cook for dinner. Just because I am tall doesn’t mean I want to help you.

You must be at least six foot three!

This usually comes from men who aren’t six foot, but wish they were. I used to model. I was measured professionally. Trust me when I say I am six foot tall. This means you are definitely less than six foot. Please don’t try to bolter your own self-worth by making it seem I am taller than I already am. Thank you.

Are titles a big deal when dating?

Bakersfield, Calif. – Match.com declared October 2, “Define the Relationship Day.” So we spent time talking to people in Bakersfield about how important titles are while dating. 

When is the right time to have the “what are we” conversation? And just how important are labels in relationships? It turns out – both guys and girls feel strongly about this subject. 

Jordan Anderson is a sophomore at Bakersfield College. He says, “The biggest part of it is, labeling something means there’s more commitment in it.”

Anderson’s sentiment was that of basically everyone we spoke to: Titles are a big deal. Whether you are the one pining for a more ‘serious’ relationship, or trying to keep it casual – students at BC agree, defining your relationship with someone is both important and serious.

It’s not impossible to agree on a casual relationship, but the women we spoke to said they prefer exclusivity and a title pretty early on. 

And while the men also agree that titles are important, most of them say, they prefer more time in the casual dating realm before committing to any titles. 

Dating Expert Rachel DeAlto, of Match.com, has advice on how to navigate defining the relationship:

You know it is time to “DTR” when…

  • You spend more nights together than you do apart
  • You’ve met their parents

How to “DTR:”

  • DON’T approach DTR like it’s a big deal!
  • Avoid all lines akin to “we need to talk.”  
  • Use DTR day as an excuse! Try this script: “Hey babe – so it’s Define The Relationship Day. I’m thinking I’d like to define you as my boyfriend.”

NEVER, *EVER* TRY TO “DTR” IF:

  • They only call you once a week and reply to your texts three days later
  • They dedicate only one or two nights a month to spending time with you
  • You’ve never met one of their friends or family members
  • They’ve never talked about the future with you