Relationships Talk

Comedian Patton Oswalt lost his wife Michelle McNamara in April 2016. They’d been happily married for 10 years. He has talked publicly about his grief, calling it more of a “numb slog” than a “healing journey,” and his experiences raising his 7-year-old daughter Alice without his wife.

Patton has used his talents as a comedian to work through his frustrations and pain with his characteristic biting sense of humor. He has been so candid about his grieving process that some of his fans were surprised to hear of his recent remarriage to Meredith Salenger.

Meredith had reached out to the recently widowed actor on Facebook, and they’d fallen for one another very quickly. They tied the knot in November 2017, about 18 months after Michelle’s death.

“It just felt like worlds were connecting, and everything was okay again,” Patton said. “I’ve only ever felt that level of joy once before in my life, and it was so profound and perfect it felt greedy to ever wish for it again.”

Patton’s re-marriage sparked a debate about life after grief. How long should a widow or widower wait before committing to another partner? How do you introduce a new person into a healing family? What is the right path forward? Well, that’s up to you, but one niche dating site called WidowsOrWidowers.com aims to provide thoughtful guidance and insights from people who have gone through similar experiences.

Founded in 2004, WidowsOrWidowers.com is the longest-running dating site designed exclusively for widows and widowers in the US. Annie Hunte originally launched the site in the UK after she lost her husband and realized how difficult it was to meet single men who understood what she was going through. She established a compassionate network to support bereaved singles going through unthinkable pain and heartache.

Today, WidowsOrWidowers.com has sister sites in the UK, Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, and South Africa. Singles around the world have used this platform to talk about their grief and find a path forward with the help of people who can offer empathy, support, friendship, and even a second chance at love.

Answering Common Questions With Experience & Wisdom

WidowsOrWidowers.com has steadily grown in the US, and it is particularly popular in large metropolitan areas in New York, California, Florida, and Pennsylvania. This free, family-run dating site gives a voice to widows and widowers across the country.

Annie and her son Edward have worked hard to understand the needs of American widows and widowers and provide a place where they feel welcomed and safe.

Edward said he has spent the last several months conducting SEO research to find out how visitors found WidowsOrWidowers and what questions they had about dating after the death of a partner. “These are people who might not be ready to date again,” he said. “They have a lot of questions and need good information.”

“Remarriage after becoming widowed is definitely not about forgetting your previous partner.” — WidowsOrWidowers.com

Annie has experienced loss herself and worked alongside widows and widowers of all backgrounds, so she is in a unique position to inform a niche audience and reassure them that they’re not alone. “We’re using the resources we have to answer questions, ” she said. “We’re providing as many answers as we can and hoping to become the go-to destination for widows and widowers worldwide.”

The WidowsOrWidowers Dating Advice section covers many different dating topics from the perspective of a widow or widower. The blog posts discuss everything from how to tell if someone’s interested to how to introduce a date to children. These are important and sensitive issues, and the writers take a thorough and thoughtful approach to advising singles on how best to proceed.

“This article is very good. It’s so true,” said Patricia, a widow who’d lost her husband of 35 years in 2017. “There was so much that I took for granted.”

WidowsOrWidowers is a bastion of hope for singles who may feel marginalized or forgotten in the modern dating scene. “Our focus is on what we can do to reach out to widows and widowers in the US,” Edward said. “And draw them to us.”

Preparing the Bereaved for the Online Dating Scene

Thousands of people have signed up to WidowsOrWidowers.com looking for a fresh start. The online community offers a safe, nonjudgmental place for singles who have loved and lost and now feel ready to think about dating someone new. Some users are still raw from a recent death while others have spent decades alone and yearn to have someone in their life again.

WidowsOrWidowers.com respects the emotional journey of every individual on the site and offers reliable resources and tools to help them along the way. Whether the dating site is recommending potential matches or highlighting a self-help book written by a widow, WidowsOrWidowers.com focuses on positive solutions to heartache.

“It’s an injection of positivity in their lives,” Edward said. “It’s giving them a place where they can be open to talking about whatever is going on in their lives.”

WidowsOrWidowers.com offers invaluable support to widows and widowers in the US and abroad.

The dating site’s advice articles and inspiring stories can validate the experiences and emotions of singles who may feel guilty or worried about moving on. Maybe they’ve never tried online dating, or they’re concerned how their in-laws will react. WidowsOrWidowers.com addresses these and other issues with a down-to-earth and optimistic tone.

“We talk from experience, and that’s reassuring,” Annie said. “Widows and widowers are not like other singles. Most of them have rather sad backgrounds they have to overcome if they want to start dating again.”

WidowsOrWidowers.com is a Resource for Grieving Singles

After the announcement of his 2017 engagement, Patton pushed back against criticism that this second marriage came too soon after his wife’s passing. He tweeted that he doesn’t care what the “bitter grub worms” say — he has found a way to be happy again in a new life, and that’s all that matters to him.

“After the darkness, I went through all the ways I had to strengthen myself to try to recognize joy again,” Patton said. “Meredith was a beacon I had to reach for.”

WidowsOrWidowers.com exists to help other singles find the courage and strength to move forward with their lives and find love after grief. Everyone’s journey is different, and it’s never going to be easy, but the dating site offers plenty of resources and support systems to help people through the healing process.

“We value the life experience of each member,” according to the website. “At WidowsOrWidowers.com, it is our number one goal to help you find that special someone who will understand what you’ve been through.”

Rihanna just made history as the first black woman to grace British Vogue‘s coveted September issue, and to top it all off she dropped some solid advice in the accompanying interview.

The ‘Wild Thoughts’ singer discussed everything from relationships to body image (psst, she even revealed the science behind that ‘thicc’ bod), leaving us armed with the knowledge to grab life by the balls, Riri style.

Rihanna chatted with the editor in chief, Edward Enninful (for what was his first September issue too), and she had some stellar words for anyone starting a relationship.

As reported by Buzzfeed, Riri said: “I think a lot of people meet people and then they’re dating the idea of what the person could become, and that person never shows up and then they’re just mad disappointed.”

She added: “A person can always get better, they can always get worse, but you’ve got to be fine with what you met them as.”

Basically, if you’re already tryin to change ’em… they probably ain’t right for you.

Her wise words didn’t end there.

The singer has never been afraid to address the topic of body image, from clapping back at fat-shamers to proclaiming “savages come in all shapes and sizes,” when she dropped her ‘Savage’ lingerie line, and she touched upon the topic once again.

Edward asked her what it’s like to be the woman other women “fancy,” to which she responded: “Okay, you’re asking the wrong person. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m ‘thicc’ now,” she said.

Rihanna has opened up about her “fluctuating” body type in the past, and now she’s dished further on some of the science behind body shapes.

“I’m about to get back into the gym and stuff, and I hope I don’t lose my butt or my hips or all of my thighs. I’ll lose some but not all. And I think of my boobs, like, ‘Imma lose everything, everything goes!”

“But, you know, it comes with a price. You want to have a butt, then you have a gut,” she revealed.

Iconic.

So there you have it, folks, bodies are imperfect, ever-evolving things that we should be hella proud of no matter what stage they’re at.

This isn’t the first time Riri has got real about her changing body.

Chatting to The Cut earlier this year, she explained: “I actually have had the pleasure of a fluctuating body type, where one day I can literally fit into something that is bodycon, and then the next day—the next week—I need something oversize; I need a little crop here and a high-waist there to hide that part, you know?”

Sure, it’s not exactly a ground-breaking discovery that bodies don’t stay the same, but we have to applaud Riri for making it known that it’s OK to fluctuate. So whether you’re snacking or gyming today, here’s to loving your bod.

This gal is literally an endless source of wisdom.

When you get a pat on the back for something, you’re more likely to do it again, right? So if your date or partner pulls through on getting back to you quickly, don’t be shy about acknowledging it.

“When your partner does what you ask of them, it gives you a great opportunity to say ‘thank you!’ and show your appreciation,” adds Goldstein.

Giving them props shows them that timely responses matter to you, and if they know that’s something you value, they may try to make it a habit.

Feeling like you went from texting amateur to ace? You may not be able to actually control when someone gets back to you, but these tactics could help to inspire a speedier response.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Everybody has a piece of wisdom to share when it comes to romance and, TBH, I’d take a lot of people’s pearls of wisdom with grains of salt. I mean, let’s face it: Not everyone knows what they’re talking about. That being said, there’s also a decent amount of people with some pretty fantastic advice out there. Like Rihanna. Recently, in Rihanna’s British Vogue interview she dropped some wisdom bombs about love.

Rihanna graces the cover of British Vogue‘s September 2018 issue and, throughout the interview, she keeps it extremely real. After admitting that she gets “a lot of boy-advice questions,” she decides to throw in this absolutely flawless piece of advice:

I think a lot of people meet people and then they’re dating the idea of what the person could become, and that person never shows up and then they’re just mad disappointed. A person can always get better, they can always get worse, but you’ve got to be fine with what you met them as.

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

I think anyone who’s ever tried to change someone they dated can agree that it is an impossible feat. Rihanna is right. Don’t bother trying to change someone — there are better uses of your energy.

This isn’t the first time Rihanna’s pulled through with the fantastic guidance when it comes to our love lives.

Back in 2015 she told T magazine:

Guys need attention. They need that nourishment, that little stroke of the ego that gets them by every now and then. I’ll give it to my family, I’ll give it to my work — but I will not give it to a man right now.

Back in 2016, she warned Vogue readers of the dangers of settling:

I always believed that when you follow your heart or your gut, when you really follow the things that feel great to you, you can never lose, because settling is the worst feeling in the world.

And Rihanna isn’t a hypocrite, either. No, Rihanna follows her own advice like it’s scripture.

Jason Kempin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

In fact, in her recent breakup with billionaire Hassan Jameel was apparently a direct result of her refusal to settle. “Rihanna and him were together for a while,” a source told MTO News. “It was a good relationship, but now it’s over.” Apparently, the source continued that Rihanna just “got tired of him. She gets tired of men sometimes.”

And we all know there’s no shot Rihanna’s going to waste her time waiting around for some snooze of a dude to miraculously become fun.

Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Later in her British Vogue interview, editor in chief Edward Enninful asked her how she became everyone’s girl crush. “OK, you’re asking the wrong person. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m ‘thicc’ now,” she responded with a laugh. “I don’t know.”

UGH, why can’t we all hang out with Rihanna every day? I guess we’ll just have to settle for reading this article over and over again until the end of time.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!