Welcome to Lo Que Siento, Noisey’s love advice column with LA’s new romantic, Cuco. Though he just turned 20, the singer-songwriter born Omar Banos has been blowing up since he broke out of Hawthorne last year with his debut hit “Lo Que Siento.” Since then, Cuco’s dreamy lo-fi sound, versatile musicianship, and lovelorn lyrics has been making crowds swoon and scream from Coachella to Gov Ball to Mexico’s Festival Ceremonia, while his Chiquito EP has continued to woo an ever-devoted fanbase. It figures, then, that our dude knows a thing or two about love and heartbreak—when he’s not just trying to figure it all out along with the rest of us. Each month, we’ll be taking your most pressing questions to give to Cuco, who’s here to serve up his best advice to help soothe love’s burn.
Cuco: I think if you’re trying to win over a Cancer, Cancers are very affectionate. I can’t speak for everybody, but I think Cancers are some of the hardest people to read. In just my own experience, there’s always an uncertainty of what we might want. We might depict the exact opposite of what we might feel sometimes. So that’s a hard one, I guess.
If he’s stalling, it depends on how long how’s been stalling. I stalled. lt took me awhile to ask my girlfriend out. If you already have something going, and he’s taking too long to really get into it, I’d say probably just drop him. You shouldn’t confuse yourself for too long.
Honestly, I can’t even figure it out myself. I’m like, the most jealous person ever. When it becomes an issue, I try to just close myself off and listen to music. I just get myself out of my head, because getting in my head is my worst enemy. I try to take a step back and not overreact. Jealousy can be a good thing to an extent in a relationship, but it always depends. You can’t care too much, but you also like can’t not give a shit either.
There’s a risk to losing a friendship if you express those feelings, but I think it’s important to get it out of the way. And even if they don’t like you back, you can still preserve that friendship. It might take you a bit to get over them, but it’s important to at least give yourself that closure, whether they like you or don’t like you.
I’ve been in that position a lot of times, and I don’t take my own advice. I’ve never told anybody that I liked them. Rejection is a scary thing. I’d say figure that person out first before you say anything, to know how they would react. But if the other person is gonna get weird about it, maybe that’s not somebody you want to stay friends with anyway.
It’s definitely hurting relationships. I feel like there are a lot of false standards and ideologies that people think make up relationships, and then if your relationship doesn’t live up to whatever you saw on social media, it can make you start to think you’re not doing “a good relationship,” or some shit like that. I feel like it’s very saturated. If you base your relationship off of social media, it can create a lot of distrust. It’s a privacy thing, too. People have more inches than they should in other people’s relationships. There’s a huge separation between virtuality and reality that separates a relationship. That’s not to say that everything on social media is wrong, but it makes you react certain ways about shit. It flattens interactions.
You’ve got to give yourself time after a relationship like that. It’s about going out with your friends and just focusing on yourself—really tuning into yourself as a person and learning to be more self-sufficient. Even if you’re already a self-sufficient person, it doesn’t hurt to be more self-sufficient, because after a relationship, you feel like you’ve lost a part of you. You’ve got to remind yourself of your own worth and whatnot.
I guess I feel like I struggle with that myself. But it’s something that I think other people should do, because I don’t have it myself, if that makes sense. I don’t necessarily have that self validation. I feel like even I struggle to do it, and in the meantime, it’s about riding and really just listening to music, going out. Maybe it’s the beach, maybe it’s a park. Go hang out with people, be outside and not on social media. I think social media is the worst place to go after a breakup for sure.
Damn. I’ve never honestly dealt with long distance. Right now my girlfriend comes with me a lot, so we’ve never had to be with being apart for more than a couple of weeks. But from my understanding, if you actually give a shit about each other, it’s going to work. If you’re on the same page about it, you won’t do something that puts the relationship in jeopardy. I think it can work, and if it gets unhealthy, then it’s just best to cut it. It’s a hard situation to be in. I’ll have to deal with it more when I start school in the fall. I’m not looking forward to being away.
Damn, that’s a bitch, because I’m the exact same way. For me, I can get into a mode of self-sabotage, where I start to believe things are too good to be true. My mind just goes to how it’s gonna go wrong, or how it’s not gonna work. I’m always over-caring for the people I love. Not just in relationships, but in general. I cling and push away at the same time. I still struggle with keeping myself grounded, but I that’s all we can do. So with falling hard and quick, at that point you need to kind of get away from people—not become antisocial, but just get away for a bit from the person that you fell for. Especially if it’s a recurring thing, because then that’s not healthy on their part, you know? It’s about really taking that time away from whoever you’re getting really attached to, and remembering that you’re your own person, and they want you to be your own person too.
Stay tuned for our next call for question submissions by following Noisey on Twitter.
While we do our best to help you out with women-related issues, sometimes you really need more tangible advice. By tangible, I mean you need a more visual sounding board to get a fresher perspective on women each time, and although we’re really good at it, written words can be lost in translation, and you might need a more talkative narration of what to do, when you’re totally lost in the women department.
So, we’ve selected 6 ‘relationship and dating’ YouTube channels for you to seek some advice through a dating expert, whenever the need arises. Maybe give them a listen, once a while, to gain another healthy perspective?
TrippAdvice is a dating coach who loves to help men gain their confidence and attract women they desire, naturally. His videos usually revolve around topics like ‘how to make yourself more attractive’ , ‘how to talk to women’, ‘how to spark an attraction and get them to meet you’ and ‘how to eventually find a girlfriend’.
He does about three videos a week, so that’s enough fodder to last you for a while! So, if you’re confused about how to get into the game, definitely give his channel a look.
Dating Logic gives specific advice on dating and managing relationships. It helps in looking at the nuances of attraction, infatuation and love and it’s helpful for those who’re newbies in the dating world. From understanding body language to helpful gestures, they cover just about everything.
They post about 7 videos a week, so maybe try and keep up?
Kezia Noble is a celebrity dating coach and the most popular one out there to help men understand women. Her tough love methods have earned her a reputation of being the ‘b***h with a heart”! Wow, I am sure she does a good job of it too.
She helps men from across the board, on any dating/relationship advice they need about women, so don’t hesitate to shoot her any questions. Her ‘how to get a woman to think about you non-stop’ is the most watched video. She posts one video a month but I am sure it covers all the questions she gets asked regularly.
Her mission is to get men more dates and meet women as naturally as they can. She’s a TED speaker as well and she believes both men and women need to be as natural as they can, to find their better halves. She posts one video a week, so you can catch her accordingly.
Dan Bacon is the best at giving relationship advice to modern men and tries to help you get through with the present day dating trends. He posts about two videos per week, and his most watched video is on ‘how to get a girlfriend’
Johnny Berba specialises in coaching men who suffer from social anxiety and lack confidence when they’re around women. He has helped numerous men gain their confidence back in social spheres around women, just through his videos. I believe they’re worth a watch. He posts one video a week.
It doesn’t matter where these relationship and dating experts are from, as long as they help you out. I guess all issues concerning dating and relationships are universal, and if there is someone who gets your worries in life, it’s worth giving them a listen!
The Bold Type co-stars – who portray Jane Sloan and Richard Hunter, respectively, on the Freeform series – shared their best relationship tips and opened up about their personal experiences during their recent visit to the Young Hollywood studios.
Some of the common love life dilemmas they discuss are how to deal with being ghosted, what to do if you’re stood up on a first date, and how to handle those awful “three dots” and read receipts when texting.
Other issues they address include how to respond if someone doesn’t like you back and what to do if you’re afraid that taking the next step will ruin your friendship.
Watch below, and don’t miss The Bold Type Tuesdays at 8/7c on Freeform!
Donald Trump told Theresa May she should sue the EU rather than negotiate over Brexit, she has told the BBC.
The US president said on Friday at a joint news conference he had given Mrs May a suggestion – but she had found it too “brutal”.
Asked by the BBC’s Andrew Marr what he had said, she replied: “He told me I should sue the EU – not go into negotiations.”
It came as another government member resigned over her Brexit plans.
Robert Courts said he quit as a parliamentary private secretary – an unpaid ministerial aide – at the Foreign Office to “express discontent” with Mrs May’s policy before key Brexit votes on Monday.
“I had to think who I wanted to see in the mirror for the rest of my life,” he said in tweet.
He could not tell his constituents he supported Mrs May’s proposals “in their current form,” he added.
Mr Courts replaced David Cameron as the Conservative MP for Witney, Oxfordshire in 2016.
Defending her Brexit blueprint on the Andrew Marr show, the prime minister said it would allow the UK to strike trade deals with other nations, end free movement of people, and end the jurisdiction of the European Court of Justice.
A White Paper published on Thursday fleshed out details of her plan, which advocates close links with the EU on trade in goods, but not services.
Before the paper was published, Brexit Secretary David Davis and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson resigned, along with several junior government figures, saying it would not deliver the Brexit people voted for in the 2016 referendum.
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Mrs May laughed off the president’s legal action suggestion, but added: “Interestingly, what the president also said at that press conference was ‘don’t walk away’.
“Don’t walk away from those negotiations because then you’ll be stuck. So I want us to be able to sit down to negotiate the best deal for Britain.”
Donald Trump declined to spell out what his advice to Mrs May had been, in an interview with US TV network CBS, but added: “Maybe she’ll take it, it’s something she could do if she wanted to.
“But it was strong advice. And I think it probably would have worked.”
Ahead of his meeting with Mrs May, Mr Trump told the Sun newspaper her Brexit proposals would “probably kill” a trade deal with his country.
But hours later he said a US-UK trade deal would “absolutely be possible”.
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Leading Tory Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg has called the White Paper a “bad deal for Britain”.
He told the BBC’s Sunday Politics: “The government unfortunately believes that Brexit is not a good thing in itself, it seems to think it has to be tempered by non-Brexit.”
He said Mrs May, who campaigned to keep Britain in the EU in the 2016 referendum, had failed to grasp the “enormously positive” opportunities offered.
He described her as a “Remainer who has remained a Remainer”.
He also said she would have to change her policy in order to get it through Parliament, without having to rely on Labour votes.
Mrs May urged Brexiteers in her own party to “keep their eye on the prize” of Brexit – and said her plan was the only workable way to deliver it.
‘Very difficult to bring an action’
Analysis by BBC legal correspondent Clive Coleman
Frankly, it is difficult to see any grounds for the UK suing the EU.
Like any other member state, the UK can sue the EU in relation to any specific measure it has taken which breaches EU law.
Such action would be heard at the European Court of Justice, the ultimate arbiter of EU law.
An example would be if the UK was denied agricultural subsidies, or structural funds to which it was entitled under EU law.
The Conservative government of David Cameron successfully sued when the European Central Bank said it would only license financial institutions within the Eurozone as clearing houses for transactions in euros.
The UK and the EU have not reached a Brexit agreement yet, so there can be no action for breach of that agreement.
Parties to a negotiation are under what are known as “procedural duties” – for instance, to act in good faith.
But it is very difficult to bring an action, within a negotiation, on that basis. Some would say that even attempting to do so would seriously harm the negotiation.
Mrs May’s message comes ahead of crucial Commons votes on trade and customs policy in the coming week, with Tory Brexiteers tabling a series of amendments to the legislation.
Mr Rees-Mogg said he was not expecting either the Customs Bill or the Trade Bill to be voted down at this stage. There are also likely to be amendments tabled by Remain supporting MPs.
Mrs May told Andrew Marr: “Some people are saying they want to vote in the Trade Bill to keep us in the customs union. I say that’s not acceptable, that’s not what the British people voted for.
“Others are saying that perhaps we cannot have the bill at all. That would be damaging to our ‘no deal’ preparations.
“So let’s just keep our eyes on the prize here. The prize is delivering leaving the European Union in a way that’s in our national interest.”
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Mrs May insists her plans would allow the UK to strike its own trade deals, despite agreeing a “common rulebook” with the EU on cross-border trade.
She said such rules were needed to protect jobs in firms with supply chains that crossed borders and deal with the Irish border issue.
Labour Party chairman Ian Lavery said Mrs May’s “so-called plan” did not “stand up to scrutiny”.
“No-one – not the public, Parliament or the Conservative party – is happy with Theresa May’s offer. This has descended into a shambles,” he said.
Labour MP Ian Murray, a member of the People’s Vote campaign, said the British people needed a vote on the final deal.
Labour Deputy Leader Tom Watson said it was not the party’s policy to back another referendum – but said it should not be ruled out.
