Relationships Talk

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Looking for some dating advice?

Share-apy is probably not the place to get professional help–but it is a lot of fun.

The comedy event, created by comedians Sam Dee and Lisa Perrin, allows visitors to ask real-life questions and get personalized advice from the hilarious hosts.

Dee and Perrin are not therapists, but their mission with Share-apy is to provide a few laughs and to normalize common problems.

“Everyone’s got so much pressure on them to always show their highlight reel,” Dee said. “I think getting everyone together and showing that everyone has weird problems [makes you feel] not so alone in that.”

Both Dee and Perrin are involved with several other Cleveland-based comedy projects. Dee hosts the Nice Try Variety Show at Mahall’s, is a member of improv troupe Casually Late Stampede, and is creating an all-female comedy festival for the fall. Perrin is a member of improv troupe Asking For A Friend.

Share-apy came about after Dee saw musician Andrew W.K. giving life advice to fans at a show. Dee was inspired by the storytelling aspect, and wanted to put a humorous spin on it. She asked Perrin to join her, and the two melded their improv and standup backgrounds to create Share-apy.

Since then, Share-apy has hosted a string of successful shows at Forest City Brewery, with themes like “Body,” “Phobias,” “Lying,” “Childhood,” “Family” and “Confidence.”

“It’s been incredible to watch it evolve,” said Perrin. “It’s really great when we have so many people who want to come onstage and tell us a secret truth about themselves into the microphone. Watching that happen is wonderful.”

Dee and Perrin stressed that the point of Share-apy isn’t to make fun of people’s problems–instead, the event curates a safe space where their attempts at advice is the funny part.

Share-apy’s next show takes place Wednesday, June 27 at 8 p.m. at Forest City Brewery, and will focus on dating. Tickets to the show cost $5, and all proceeds will be donated to ActBlue to support children separated from their families by ICE.

As a sneak peek to their Wednesday night show, Dee and Perrin shared 10 tips for a successful date:

1. It’s best to find a partner who has the same sorts of issues you do, so you have something in common right out of the gate. Insecure? Of course you are! Fear of commitment? Perfect for now! Cynical? Well, what’s the point of being optimistic when you’re single! (Sam Dee)
2. On a first date, try using the app that blends your faces together to show what your future offspring might look like. (Lisa Perrin)
3. At the beginning of your first date, bring up religious and political beliefs because it is a quick way to know whether or not this is going to make it past appetizers. (SD)
4. Instead of going to a movie, try suggesting an unconventional activity for a date like a Civil War reenactment, rat hunting or arson. (LP)
5. Be sure to list all of your martial-arts training so they know your body is a weapon. (SD)
6. Everyone loves over-the-top romantic gestures! Make a portrait of your date out of their own hair and skin flakes and present it to them. (LP)
7. When a date is too attractive, one can become “Hot Blind” and not realize their date is a very terrible person. Bring a friend along to sit at an adjacent table to judge everything your date says. Then they know if they’re a viable partner or just a beautiful sleaze ball. (SD)
8. Find a reason during the date to show off something you can do that is impressive, like yo-yo tricks. (LP)
9. To save money on dates, consider science! Cloning technology has come a long way and you can always grow another you to keep you company. It also never hurts to have an extra set of organs lying around. (SD)
10. Impress your date with your sensitivity by suddenly crying for no reason. (LP)

This one grinds my gears because what if someone just isn’t into having a partner? Or what if the person who’s on the receiving end of this advice is single by choice for another reason, like trying to juggle school work, extracurriculars, and an internship? Or they’re balancing a full time job with a side hustle and trying to make time for friends?

Relationships don’t always fit into the equation at different times in our lives. So saying something pitying like the above phrase is condescending, and assumes far too much off the bat. Just because someone isn’t in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that that person is seeking one out at the moment.

So if you’re ever thinking of offering someone the above tidbits of advice, just sit back for a second before you make assumptions about their love life. While your friend will probably understand you’re coming from a good intention with your words, you’re still better off not insulting them in the first place.

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Clarke Gayford vowed to name his kid “Danger” before becoming a dad.

Gayford who with the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced the name of the daughter Neve Te Aroha Ardern Gayford at the weekend has previously spoken publicly about giving children “rad” middle names.

In a series of light-hearted videos made eight years ago before he and Jacinda became a couple, Gayford encourages parents to give their kids a middle name that says “they are not as old and as boring as they seem now”.

Gayford, who reveals his own boring middle name is Timothy, suggested parents choose a fruity name such as Delicious or a useful name such as Not guilty.

“The only times they are used is when you are doing something bad like when you are in court or getting married.

“Throw something out there that just makes it a little bit more interesting.”

He said he had already decided that he would call his middle child Danger because “then danger will quite literally be their middle name”.

While Gayford obviously had a change of heart over using the name Danger, he did take his own advice about choosing an interesting middle name for his first born and instead named her after the small rural Waikato town Te Aroha, which has a population of 3,906. Her second middle name Arden represents her mother’s last name.

Ardern told media on Sunday they had chosen Te Aroha as a tribute to the amount of love the baby had been shown.

“All of the names we were gifted along the way, I thought how do I reflect the generosity particularly from all of the iwi who gifted us names.

“Te Aroha seemed to be a way that we could show that love and generosity. It is also the place where all my family are from and I grew up under that mountain.”

Gayford features in five short clips on the You Tube channel “Rattle Ya Dags” where he also jokingly imparts other valuable and what he describes as perhaps controversial advice to viewers. He is among a raft of other well-known Kiwis, including Jason Gunn, Simon Barnett and Peta Mathias, imparting tips.

In the one titled Bad Relationships, Gayford tells people to start every new relationship badly such as not turning up to a date or kissing an ex so that their partner’s expectations of them can only improve.

“… Improve the relationship slowly therefore surprising your partner ‘oh you brought me flowers, you never brought me flowers before’ – surprise. You will also never hear those words remember when you used to, you were so much nicer when you used to do that’.

“Start slowly, improve slowly. Everyone wins. Trust me – I have had literally hundreds and hundreds of really successful relationships.”

Gayford also encourages people to visit places in New Zealand because they are “heaps radder” than those overseas “except Whanganui – that place is a shi**er”.

In what he considers to be other important advice, he also revealed that the “Dry clean only” label on garments is a lie and that the item can in fact be put in the washing machine. “Hell you can put it in my washing machine. Why don’t you grab your smalls, come round, lets go washing,” Gayford said.