Relationships Talk

Just call him the family guy!

RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively 44-year-old Seth MacFarlane is dating his much younger co-star Halston Sage, 25 — and her grandmother can’t wait to meet him!

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with them dating,” Helen Schrage confirms to Radar.

“Everyone seems to be okay with whatever she is doing.”

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The funny Family Guy creator and the blonde, who’s nearly 20 years his junior, star together in the dark comedy Star Trek prequel The Orville.

While the twosome have kept a low profile about their budding romance, they were snapped heading to Sushi Park in West Hollywood, Calif., in February.

Despite the double-decade age gap, Halston’s grandmother says years has nothing to do with true love.

“If she is happy, we are happy,” she said, adding that when she heard the news she asked her son, Halton’s father, who said the actors are “good friends.”

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“Age sometimes doesn’t matter. They are the ones to decide if someone is too old.

“Maybe she needs that feeling of fatherhood,” she joked. “I don’t think so because it’s a close family.”

But at her own wise age she has learned to keep her mouth shut when it comes to doling out dating advice.

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“It is complicated to tell your granddaughter she shouldn’t do something and to give advice because they won’t listen,” admitted Helen.

“We can’t say don’t be with him, congratulations or it’s not a good choice. Only she can make that choice.”

For now, Helen looks forward to meeting her granddaughter’s famous beau.

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“I have not [met him] because he is in New York and she is there most of the time,” she continued.

“If he wants to meet me and she wants to, I’ll be here and open my arms to it.”

Before the former Nickelodeon starlet caught Seth’s attention, the actor-director-producer was linked to Game of Thrones actress Emilia Clarke, 31, and former Buffy the Vampire Slayer actress Eliza Dushku, 37.

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One Heartbreak Island contestant was able to call on some famous family support before embarking on his moment in the spotlight.

Twenty-five year old Julius Bennett is the brother of 2012 Miss New Zealand Talia Bennett and cousin of Kiwi actor Manu Bennett. The Auckland corporate product manager is one of 16 singles competing for love and $100,000 in TVNZ’s newest reality series, which begins screening on Monday night.

Speaking to Stuff ahead of the Fiji-set show’s debut, Julius Bennett said both had offered him important advice.

“Like this show, Miss New Zealand is full of big personalities, so Talia told me to just be myself and be genuine – ‘That’s what people will love and see in you’.

“As for Manu, I messaged him earlier on in the year and he thought it sounded like a really cool show and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. ‘To go to Fiji and have everything catered for you – just be yourself and enjoy the experience, rather than being all worried and panicked about how people view you’,” he said.

READ MORE:
* Heartbreak Island: Your 5 week break from reality awaits you
* Heartbreak Island: How do you actually win TV’s most complicated dating show?
* Heartbreak Island: Matilda Rice and Mark Dye front new Survivor-like reality series
* First look at Matilda Rice as host of Heartbreak Island
* Inside TVNZ’s sexed-up new reality show Heartbreak Island

While Bennett admitted he was not one to watch reality TV, he said he was drawn to Heartbreak Island because of his love of adventure, travel and pushing his own boundaries.

“I’ve travelled solo in the past so going to an island not knowing anyone doesn’t really scare me, plus I’d rather look back on my life having tried and failed at something, rather than not having had the confidence to do it.”

Julius Bennett was able to call on both a former Miss New Zealand (his sister Talia) and a Hollywood actor (his cousin Manu) for advice before embarking on Heartbreak Island.

He also said he came into the show, “100 per cent looking for love”.

“I’m at a time in my life where I would be open for a long-term relationship. I know if I fall for someone on the show, I’ll fall pretty hard.”

Describing Heartbreak Island as a cross between a dating show, Survivor and Big Brother, Bennett said he did break his non-reality habit in order to prepare himself for what he might encounter. “If only just to see how everyone interacts and plays those type of games.”

Julius Bennett is one of 16 young Kiwis competing for love and $100,000 on Heartbreak Island.

Getting used to cameras, interviews and being in the spotlight 24/7 were the hardest things to get used to, he said.

“There’s no escaping and, at the same time, the place was filled with a lot of strong personalities. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just it means it becomes complex from time-to-time and it is a pressure-cooker environment. Getting used to that pressure and handling it, while trying to be as genuine as you can, is quite hard.”

That said, Bennett thought it was an “amazing experience” and definitely something he would consider doing again. “Despite being initially very anxious and nervous about it, I really enjoyed it and, you never know, it could open up a few doors for me.”

Ross Giblin

Talia Bennett was Miss New Zealand 2012.

The man who described “a coffee and a walk along the beach on a summer day” as his ideal date will have plenty of supporters tuning into Heartbreak Island. His mother is one of 18 children and his father one of seven. When asked why thought other Kiwis should tune into the show, he responded without missing a beat.

“You get to see me, with plenty of smiles and a few good one-liners. Plus, there’s plenty of drama and the challenges are so much fun. There are so many different personalities and you get to see them put together in such a pressure cooker. And, you get to see Fiji. You get a good taste of what our Pacific neighbours can provide, which is awesome.”

Hosted by Matilda Rice and Mark Dye, Heartbreak Island begins screening on Monday night at 7.30pm on TVNZ2

 – Stuff

Lucky for us, we get to live through the dating digital age where there is a plethora of new ways to get dumped and an increased chance you’re going to be faced with dudes who have wronged you again and again.

Thank you Facebook! Thank you Tinder radius settings!

However, as the digital space has evolved, so has our love for labelling our emotional states. Fortunately for women and men everywhere, ‘experts’ have spent a lot of time coining hilarious terms to label pretty shit dating situations that might have otherwise had you thinking ‘am I going f**king crazy for being annoyed?’.

And I, a woman of the people, have compiled a list some of my fave dating terms with some (completely unwarranted) advice on what to do if this happens to you…OR, what to do if YOU are the perpetrator, you dirty dog.

Shaveducking…

Definition – When you’re not sure if you’re attracted to a man or if you’re just attracted to his facial hair.

As a girlfriend of a man who has just shaved off quite an impressive beard, I am SO relieved there is a term for that hour of my life where I was seriously re-considering my relationship.

Advice – Make a decision on this one in 3-6 working days when your dude starts looking like himself again or at the very least, he stops stunning you everytime you open your eyes. Hot tip – spend time looking at his eyes or his butt to remind yourself of other features you enjoy.

Ghosting…

Definition – When someone disappears off the face of the earth with no warning. You go on a date, things seem good then…your date apparently doesn’t like you that much and drops off the radar.

Advice – This is a little controversial but hear me out; if you’ve been seeing this guy for a while and he was giving off serious vibes before ghosting you – he’s a dick and you deserve better. Go get yourself some ice-cream, wallow about it and take the time you need to move on. HOWEVER, if you met on Tinder and went on one date – I personally don’t think the person must formally tell you that you have not, in fact, swept them off their feet. Don’t wait around. Jump back on Tinder and give it another go.

Ghostbusting…

Definition – When the bloody nuisance of a person you ghosted keeps trying to contact you.

“You could have explained, I just want to know why, I wanted to make sure you’re doing well”. The list of reasons goes on.

Advice – If this has happened to you, I know it sucks but STOP texting him. You’re better than chasing after someone and that energy is energy better spent elsewhere.

Benching…

Definition – The modern word for a booty call. This is where one party keeps you at an arm’s length but calls upon you every few weeks just to let you know you’re still theirs. Complete f**kboy attitude.

Advice – If you’re tired of being benched I have one word for you sister; exclusivity. Sit down, have ‘the chat’ and if he’s not for it, he’s not for it. Then the ball is in your court to stay or leave. Unless he’s benching you for months at a time. That’s just a booty call and ‘the talk’ would be weird AF.

Breadcrumbing…

Definition – Pretty much the epitome of friends with benefits…but funnier to say. Breadcrumbing.

It’s where one person drops the other little hints of love often enough to keep them around, but never commits to full-time loving. They might make you dinner and go on nice dates, send you sweet texts or buy you presents. Hell, his friends might even know you exist and he might call you his girlfriend which is #verysweet #muchromance but you’re never going to get the happily ever after.

Advice – Attempt talks about future plans and where you’re headed. If he’s not receptive, you need to cut him loose. This one’s going to break your heart.

The catch and release…

Definition – Flirting hard with someone to reel them into a date only to cancel said date. Then doing it again and again because fishing is FUN!

Advice – Anyone who has ever been fishing will know it is in fact NOT fun and there are better ways to spend your time. Don’t fall into the trap of being on call time and time again. Tell him you’re busy and guuuurl, be busy.

“Pretty much the epitome of friends with benefits…but funnier to say. Breadcrumbing.”

Catfishing…

Definition – When a person pretends to be someone else online in order to get the other person to like them.

Don’t be fooled by the happy endings in the TV show, Catfishing is downright creepy.

Advice – Run for the hills. And fast.

Stashing…

Definition – This is when someone is stashing you away from their world. I’m talking about not being introduced to friends or family and not accepting any public recognition of being together.

Advice – Some people are just private, particularly two weeks in. But if it’s been 6 months you need to address it. You do not get dressed up just to watch TV and go to dive bars.

Submarining…

Definition – My 15 y/o boyfriend…jks (but really). This is when things have ended, but the other person still emerges from the depths every so often just to remind you they’re alive…Because you care. Quite similar to benching except the continuous re-emergences are not necessarily for romantic or sexual reasons.

Advice – This is neither here nor there on my scale of relationship woes. Chances are if this person is only contacting you digitally, your lives don’t intertwine in the real world. You don’t really need to give it any sort of attention if you don’t want to.

Cuffing…

Definition – This is a less kinky (read; less fun) version of what it sounds like. Cuffing is where the other person acts like they are cuffed to you – but only when it suits them. Is it winter? Are they on a rebound? You bet they wanna be Netflix and chilling aaaaall damn day because they’re a bonafide cuffer.

Advice – If you feel like you’re in one of these you need to 1) Notify your friends and family you’re alive because you’ve probably been in a hole of passion and cuffing for goodness knows how long 2) consider where it’s going for you.

Cushioning…

Warning; if this at all resonates with you, GTFO.

Definition – Cushioning is where the other party can see things heading south in their current relationship and then YOU act as the cushion for their demise. I’m going to make a call and say this will usually come in the form of a drunk ex calling or texting you ‘they miss you’.

Advice – GTFO

Drafting…

Definition – This is the prepping stages for cushioning. It’s the period where one person spends time playing the field to scope out whether you are chill/fun/stupid enough to settle into a cushioning season.

Advice – Shut it down. You’ve got better things to do than listen to some dude rattle off how terrible his current girlfriend is and much better you’d be.

Cricketing…

Definition – When you leave someone on read for a period of time just to torture them.

This is the definition of evil but also I’m pretty sure it’s just another hilarious word for ghosting (recognising a trend?).

Advice – Refer back to ghosting.

Zombie-ing…

Definition – Quite similar to the term ‘douchebag’ this refers to the act of ghosting someone (see above) only to return to their lives of YOUR OWN FREE WILL. Just like a zombie that you didn’t ask for, BAM they’re back from the dead and trying to wriggle into your life.

Advice – Don’t play into it. Unless the person is coming back with a seriously regretful message, ignore it. Zombies aren’t friends.

Dationship…

Definition – A dationship is when you’re ‘in’ a relationship but it’s more like you’re dating. You’re a couple but you just know they’re not ‘the one’.

Advice – I’m not against this one tbh if you’re both happy plodding along but if you think the other person feels like you’re marriage material, then you gotta shut it down or there will be a flashy new dating term named after your shitty actions.

Freeclimbing…

Definition – Finding out details by stalking the other party’s social media presence, friendship circles etc prior to meeting them to get a one up on them.

Advice – I mean, we’re only human and curiosity is natural so a little sneak peek at what you’re in for never goes astray but do not go back further than you need to. If you start dropping in how much you love cars because you saw cars on his Facebook in 2009 you then need to keep up car chats for the length of the relationship.

Same goes with creeping on ex-girlfriends – it’s tempting, but weird.

Megadating…

Definition – When you’re dating several people at once and are juggling the game.

Advice – I’ve got no wise cracks for this. If you can manage this you deserve a medal because it is TOUGH. I mean, the worst that can happen for you is you meet someone you’re actually head over heels with and you need to let all six go… eh.

I could go all day with this and the internet is not short of delivering weird terms to describe every possible scenario if you need a little giggle or sanity check. Alas, a girl’s gotta get on with her real life with real people who are not ghosts or Zombies.

Just know, you are clearly not alone if this shit happens to you! And if you’re doing one of the above, be a good person – just have fun doing it ????

This post was originally published on Showpo.

John Aiken is a relationship and dating expert featured on Nine’s hit show Married At First Sight. He is a best-selling author, regularly appears on radio and in magazines, and runs a private practice in Sydney and exclusive couples retreats.

Every Saturday John joins 9Honey exclusively to answer your questions on love and relationships.

If you have a question for John, email: dearjohn@nine.com.au.

Dear John,

I’m a very extroverted person who loves to be with people. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is an introvert who needs alone time to recharge. Because of this, it can sometimes feel a bit upsetting when he chooses to spend time alone instead of with me. I know it’s just because we are different people, but I can’t help but feel a little off about it. We already have really busy schedules so any potential time feels precious.

Any advice on how to handle this?

JOHN: In short, you’re going to need to suck it up. Everyone comes with a package. For instance, some people are workaholics, some are divorced with kids, some have overinvolved mothers, some have chronic back pain, and some may travel a lot for their business. In your case, you have a guy who happens to be quiet and introverted. He enjoys his own company and isn’t into small talk. If you really want this to work, then you’re going to need to embrace this.

I often hear disgruntled people tell me that they’re angry because their partner won’t change. They admit they knew they were different going into the relationship, but thought they could be ‘trained’. When this doesn’t happen, all hell breaks loose. With your relationship, you’re struggling with the fact that he’s not like you and that there’s no change in sight.

‘I love being around other people. My partner doesn’t.’ (Netflix)
The fact is, for a relationship to work there needs to be a healthy balance of separateness and togetherness. In your case, you like more one-on-one time with your partner, whereas he prefers doing his own thing. You like to socialise and he doesn’t. You’re not going to change this. Instead, you need to embrace it and look for ways to enjoy the difference rather than to wish it could be different.  

My advice here is to let him have his down time in his cave to re-charge his batteries. After all, he’s going to get it whether you like it or not. While he’s doing this, spread your wings and socialise with your family and friends, and pursue your hobbies and interests. Then, when he’s ready to come out and connect, schedule in some time with him to do this. That way he gets his ‘man time’ and you get your ‘together time’. It might not be as much as you want, but at least you can stay busy during his downtime, and when you are together, he will be open, present and happy to engage with you. 

Dear John,

I have been struggling in my relationships for several years. My partner has deep anger and simply doesn’t get along with anyone. I resent him for pushing away my eldest children, I no longer have friends, and my family don’t like him.

We have two children, aged 5 and 3, and our eldest is autistic. My partner clashes with him terribly – they both make each other very anxious, and all the years of therapy comes undone within five minutes. I feel entrapped because he holds the key financially and I raise the children. He doesn’t withhold money but knows I can’t survive without his wage. I feel lost and like I’m a fraction of the person I used to be emotionally.

WATCH: Fellow MAFS expert Mel Schilling explains the difference between healthy and unhealthy fighting. (Post continues.)

Dear John,

I’m 28 and hanging out regularly with a guy for the last six months. I think he’s great and could see myself being with him long term. It’s more than friends with benefits, but we haven’t had ‘the talk’ yet. How do I bring it up and get us out of this ‘relationship limbo’?

JOHN: I have to say I’m a little surprised you’re still in limbo after six months. You’re 28 and usually the big talk will have happened by this stage, so I can absolutely understand why you want to push this along now. You need some clarity about your relationship, and having this talk will flush out his real intentions.  

There always comes a time when you’ve got to have ‘the talk’ about exclusivity and long-term relationship goals. This will differ for all couples, but it will usually be influenced by how old you are, how long you’ve been together, your overall compatibility, and your need for commitment. After 6 months together and being 28 years old, you’re ready to get serious and move this forward. The longer you wait, the more anxious and insecure you’re going to become. So it’s time to jump in.

‘It’s more than friends with benefits, but we haven’t had the talk yet.’ (Screen Gems)
When bringing this up, I think it’s a good idea to initially be playful and lighthearted about it all. Pick a time when you’re alone, uninterrupted, feeling close with one another, and preferably outside of the bedroom. Ask him, “So what are we doing here with us?”, “Where do you see the two of us headed?”, “How are you feeling about the future?” and “Where do you want to head with this?” These types of openers should get him talking and hopefully he’ll leap right up to the plate and commit.

However, if he gives you vague, cute and non-committal responses, like “I don’t know what you mean?”, “I haven’t given it much thought”, “I’m just a ‘now’ guy, I don’t like to plan ahead” and “Why, what do you want?”, then be more direct. Tell him you need a clear commitment from him now about his exclusivity, his relationship expectations and his long-term plans. This should get you on the same page immediately, and if he still can’t tell you, he doesn’t see you as a long-term option.

If that’s the case, I’m afraid you need to take a deep breath and move on. He was never going to commit.

The opinions expressed in this column are for general informational purposes only, are based on limited information and are not professional advice. You should always seek your own professional advice for your circumstances. Any actions taken are the sole responsibility of the reader, not the author or 9Honey.