Tag Archives: dating advice

TLC's Chilli Advises Black Women to 'Date Outside Race' [VIDEO]

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*Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas of TLC wants Black women to be more open to dating outside their race.

While speaking with Essence to promote the eight-part Netflix music documentary series “Once In A Lifetime Sessions,” she offered up some dating advice for sistas, saying: “I want for women — especially for women of color — to not be so closed minded when it comes to love.”

She continued to stress her point saying, “God made all of us and you may not find your husband because you’re trying to stick to one group. You’ve got to be open.”

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tlc (t-boz & chilli)

She also noted, “You want the person who’s the best person for you, no matter what color he is.”

As far as her own love life, Chilli revealed that she is indeed “testing the waters” and dating someone currently…and “he is not Black.”

Chilli has been publicly linked to Usher Raymond, Nick Cannon, Floyd Mayweather and comedian Wayne Brady (click HERE if you missed that).

She previously got candid about her dating preferences for the VH1 cameras on “What Chilli Wants”. The series documented her search for Mr. Right and during the show, she revealed that she desired a man that didn’t smoke, drink or eat pork.

You can catch Chilli and T-Boz in “Once In A Lifetime Sessions” now streaming on Netflix.





Amy Dickinson: Couple wants to resist Mom's church marketing

Dear Amy: What can be done about my boyfriend’s overly religious mother, who repeatedly invites us to attend her church? She has invited us ever since we started dating, but now the pressure is really on.

Her very small congregation (15 to 25 people) is actively looking to expand.

The pastor has tasked every church member with contacting family, friends and neighbors as a way to garner new congregants. Now we both receive phone calls and mailers from her about church events, tent revivals, etc.

I am about ready to stop taking her phone calls. Both of us have said that we’re not interested numerous times. We are both agnostic, and I am from a nonreligious family. The last time this subject came up, I told her that if I ever felt the need to go to church, the first place would be my grandparent’s church.

Any thoughts? — No Church for Me

Dear No Church: I have a suggestion for you: never walk into a used car lot alone, because you are unwittingly ripe for the plucking.

The mistake you seem to have made with this woman’s earnest marketing was to actually dangle the prospect of church. When you said, “If I ever felt the need to go to church…” what she heard was, “I’m thinking about it!”

You should say to her, one time: “It worries me that you keep asking me to attend your church. I respect that you are religious and love your church. But I’m not a Christian. I don’t go to church, so I hope you’ll stop asking.”

Mailers can be recycled. Phone calls can be dodged.

Dear Amy: I’m very close with my immediate family. In fact, I set my brother up with his fiancee, an old friend of mine I’d known for years.

I’m over-the-moon excited for their wedding, but my happiness was dampened when it was revealed that I was the only member of the groom’s family with no involvement in the wedding whatsoever. I am not in either bridal party (the other two siblings are), and I haven’t been asked to do so much as a reading at their ceremony. There were no tensions or arguments that could have brought us to this point, in fact, we were planning a vacation together before the wedding so they could take some much-needed relaxation on my dime.

It has recently come to light that every member of the bridal party is much different than me in appearance. Specifically, I would have been the stereotypical “fat bridesmaid.”

I used to be extremely fit, but after an unfortunate injury and resulting surgeries, I’ve packed on a considerable amount of weight. I’ve been perfectly healthy since and am working to get back to a healthy weight.

Everyone else in the bridal parties fits a very neat and tidy uniform aesthetic, whereas I would be the only black sheep in what would have been an ill-fitting bridesmaid’s gown.

Should I bring this up to my brother or future sister-in-law, who until recently I was very close with? We used to talk often, but ever since I was excluded from the wedding festivities, it’s been radio silence. — Reluctant Wedding Guest

Dear Reluctant: Your brother and his fiancee have the right to include — and exclude — anyone from their wedding ceremony.

You in turn have the right to react to it, and I think you should.

I agree with your suspicion that you are being excluded because of your size.

This sort of madness is what separates the brides from the Bridezillas.

Here is a polite (albeit passive) way of calling them on it: “Hi, this is embarrassing to bring up, but I can’t help but notice that I am the only family member not to have any role in your wedding ceremony. I’m not asking for a specific role, but I’m worried that I might have done something to offend or upset you. I introduced you two, and I’m very happy about your future. I hope you both feel you can be honest with me.”

No drunken retaliation toasts, please.

Dear Amy: “Frustrated” shared her heartbreaking ordeal of having her (currently sober) heroin-addicted daughter living with her and her husband — possibly for the rest of their lives.

You suggested that they might be able to renovate their house inexpensively in order to give everyone some privacy. Dang! I thought this was both practical and possible. I didn’t expect it. — A Fan

Dear Fan: Breaking up spaces can sometimes help to keep relationships intact.

Rivers still gets kick out of being one of the guys

LOS ANGELES—Los Angeles Chargers wide receiver Keenan Allen is always there on third down, using his footwork, his deceptive strength and his sure hands to catch passes. Travis Benjamin and Tyrell Williams are speedsters who can run past the defense. Mike Williams is a big target.

On the field, Philip Rivers has the people he can count on when he needs to make a play. Off of it, he’s at least eight years older than any of his receivers.

So when he needs to know who sings a song they’re talking about, he goes elsewhere.

“My oldest daughter is 16,” Rivers said with a smile, “she helps.”

On the field, the 36-year-old quarterback is counted on to make the right play. Off the field he still has to be one of the guys in a locker room that manages to get younger and younger every season. And Rivers somehow has to keep up.

When teammates want to play a digital game of pool or a quick round of cellphone putt putt, Rivers is game — even though he’s the same guy who avoids social media like it’s Von Miller or Justin Houston.

“When it comes to certain details, who’s singing this, what song is that, which app does this, I just have no clue,” Rivers said this week, at ease with being one of the Chargers’ old guys. “The general chatter? I can chime in and hold my own.”

But it takes effort.

Because he’s the team’s general, he has to be able to chatter — his youngest teammates say he’s great at it — even if he uses words they’re not used to hearing.

Williams, the team’s first-round pick in 2017, started to chuckle as he imitated Rivers when he’s heated — rearranging the letters from expletives to end up with phrases such as “dag gummit!”

“Whenever he replaces curse words, that’s the funniest thing,” Williams said, as 25-year-old tight end Sean Culkin did his best Rivers impersonation one locker over.

Earlier this week Rivers was the oldest player on the roster, and then 38-year-old Antonio Gates was re-signed. In addition to having one of his favorite targets on the field, Rivers welcomed the return of conversation that just wouldn’t have flowed without the veteran tight end around.

Early Wednesday, the two old teammates talked about the changes in high school football around the country — the sophisticated offenses, the high-tech scoreboards, the summer leagues and the improved facilities. For most of the team, it’s all they’ve known.

Said Rivers: “I can’t talk about not having seven-on-seven passing camps with these guys, ‘They used to not have seven-on-seven camps?’ In the ’90s, we just worked out and ran in the summer. You showed up and the play sheet was 10 plays.”

Gates is the only Charger remaining from Rivers’ earliest days as a pro, the rest of his closest teammates either retired or playing elsewhere. That could cause a veteran to disconnect, but Rivers won’t let that happen.

“The thing I think you want to do as your core guys have come and gone, you still want to be a teammate,” he said. “I say this with all honesty — it’s my favorite part of this game, being a teammate. You don’t want to lose that.”

On defense, 33-year-old tackle Brandon Mebane is the resident old head, annoying the rest of the defensive lineman when he tries to take control of the music.

He complains about the quality of modern lyrics — he prefers R&B — and talks about how practices and training camp used to be so much tougher.

These are classic “old guy” moves.

“I don’t try — at all,” Mebane said about acting young. “I stick to what I know. I try to be the DJ, and nobody wants to hear what I want to play.”

Being the old guy comes with other challenges. If Rivers catches a teammate sneaking a nap or snacking too often, part of him bristles. But, then he remembers …

“Why am I going to let that drive me crazy? Why not encourage them along to do all (the right) things, and let them be who they are?” he said. “They’re 24.”

While his teammates might not go to Rivers for dating advice or for the latest in pop culture, they can talk about football. Ultimately, that matters most.

“He plays like he’s been in the league a long time. He plays old, like he sees everything before it comes,” Williams said. “He reacts faster. He’s seen it all. Whatever comes at him, he knows what adjustments to make.”

Whether Rivers or Mebane, the Chargers vets don’t walk around the locker room trying to be who they’re not, offering opinions on the latest trends or newest styles. That’s just not them, and their younger teammates can appreciate that.

“I think what makes (Rivers) relatable, it’s just him being who he is,” 23-year-old defensive end Isaac Rochell said. “For a lot of young guys, we see him as this old, wise football character. And he is that. Because that’s our expectation — a good old-fashioned quarterback. He’s relatable.

“Mebane’s that way too. If a guy is in that position, you have to be transparent. What you see has to be what you get, to meet the expectation and give good advice when good advice is necessary. That’s what they do.”

©2018 Los Angeles Times

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I got all the lover talk, but what about the lover action?

Days earlier, she had texted me as I approached a leather factory during my trip to Turkey. I couldn’t help but notice it was 3:15 a.m. PDT. This wasn’t the first time she had asked me for dating advice, but it was the first time she admitted interest in the other party. “Do you want to date him?” I asked. “I’d love to,” she responded. A familiar sinking feeling crept in. “Does he want to date you?” I asked, already aware that he must. “I guess so, we’re always hanging out,” she replied.