Category Archives: marriage advice
Barack Obama Says Everyone Should Ask These Three Questions Before Choosing a Mate: New Book
If you’ve every wondered about the secret to Barack and Michelle Obama‘s happy marriage, the answer might have just been revealed.
In a new book by former White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer, Yes, We (Still) Can, the author shares a revealing conversation he had with his then-boss on his last day on the job in 2015.
As they chatted about future plans, Pfeiffer opened up about his girlfriend — and clearly gave off signals that things were getting serious.
“So are you guys moving together? This is the one, huh,” Pfeiffer recounted Obama as asking him, per an excerpt shared on Twitter and on the Huffington Post.
Obama then quickly offered some fatherly wisdom, in the form of three questions he believes everyone should ask themselves before choosing a potential mate.
“Here’s the advice I give everyone about marriage — is she someone you find interesting?” Pfeiffer says Obama asked him.
Pfeiffer admits the question puzzled him at first, but Obama then clarified: “You will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what she has to say about things.”
Question number two is a little more self-explanatory: “Does she make you laugh?”
And finally, Pfeiffer writes that Obama told him “I don’t know if you want kids, but if you do, do you think she will be a good mom?”
Fortunately for Pfeiffer, he was able to answer yes to all those questions, and the president later attended his wedding — one of four weddings the former president attended of couples who met through him and his work.
Chip Somodevilla/Getty
The Obamas have been open about their strong bond, which continues today after 25 years of marriage. In May, Michelle shared a throwback photo from their October 1992 wedding, and confirmed the pair are “still having fun.”
RELATED VIDEO: Michelle Obama Talks Life After the White House – and Why Barack Is Mad About Their New Home
“Twenty five years later, we’re still having fun, while also doing the hard work to build our partnership and support each other as individuals,” she wrote. “I can’t imagine going on this wild ride with anybody else.”
And last October, the former president honored his wife with a sweet video message he unexpectedly delivered during Michelle’s talk with Shonda Rhimes at the Pennsylvania Conference for Women in Philadelphia.
“I had to crash this party because today we have been married for 25 years,” Obama said in the video. “The idea that you would put up with me for a quarter of a century is a remarkable testament to what a saintly, wonderful, patient person you are.”
“It was a lot easier for me to do it,” he added with a smile, “because the fact of the matter is that not only have you been an extraordinary partner, not only have you been a great friend, somebody who could always make me laugh, somebody who would always make sure that I was following what I thought was right, but you have also been an example to our daughters and to the entire country.”
Barack Obama's Relationship Advice Is 'Better Than 99% Of The Advice Columns On The Internet'
Amanda Litman, co-founder of Run For Something, tweeted a photo of that specific excerpt, with the caption, “Barack Obama’s relationship advice to @danpfeiffer is better than 99% of the advice columns on the Internet.”
“Here’s the advice I give everyone about marriage — is she someone you find interesting?” said Obama. Pfeiffer writes that he was initially confused by this, but Obama continued.
“You will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what she has to say about things.”
Obama added two more things people should ask themselves when it comes to marrying someone.
“Does she make you laugh? And I don’t know if you want kids, but if you do, do you think she will be a good mom?” Obama said. “Life is long. These are the things that really matter over the long term.”
Pfeiffer writes that he “now gives everyone advice about relationships.”
Of course, every relationship is different, and there are many things to consider when it comes to marriage, but just about anyone can take Obama’s advice to heart.
(H/T: TODAY)
Barack Obama Said This Is How You Know You've Found 'The One'
If former President Barack Obama ever gets sick of the paid speaking circuit or signing deals to produce Netflix originals, he might want to give writing an advice column a shot.
Obama’s former communications director Dan Pfeiffer describes receiving some excellent advice from the then-president in his new book, Yes We (Still) Can. Pfeiffer ― now the co-host of Pod Save America ― wrote that on his last day at the White House back in 2015, he was discussing his future plans to Obama and let it slip that he planned to move in with his then-girlfriend Howli Ledbetter.
“So are you guys moving together? This is the one, huh?” Pfeiffer recalled Obama asking. When Pfeiffer replied yes, the president reportedly said that the “advice [he] gives everyone about marriage” is to ask yourself three questions about your potential spouse.
“Is she someone you find interesting?” Obama said, according to Pfeiffer. “You will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what she has to say about things.”
Questions one and two were just as weighty, though they required less explanation.
“Does she make you laugh?” Obama reportedly asked Pfeiffer.
Then, the conversation turned to kids.
“I don’t know if you want kids, but if you do, do you think she will be a good mom?” Pfeiffer recalled the president asking. “Life is long. These are the things that really matter over the long term.”
Luckily, Pfeiffer said he answered all the questions in the affirmative. (How awkward would that limo ride have been otherwise?)
“Howli is incredibly interesting and funnier than I am, and will be a phenomenal mom,” Pfeiffer said he told the president.
“Sounds like she’s the one. Lucky you,” Obama reportedly responded.
Pfeiffer and Ledbetter married in October 2016 ― one of four weddings Pfeiffer said he attended that year of couples who had met while working for Obama.
“Obama was always very proud of the hundreds of relationships that had sprung from his campaigns and his administration,” Pfeiffer writes in the book.
Given that the former president and first lady celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary in October, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better matchmaker.
Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images
As for how to stay married that long, Michelle Obama passed on some sage advice of her own while on Ellen DeGeneres’ show in 2015.
“What I’ve come to find is, you don’t sweat the small stuff,” she said. “The journey that we’ve taken together, the fun we’ve had, the challenges we’ve faced, the two beautiful children that we’re raising — I kind of give him a pass now when he leaves his socks on the floor or tells that story for the one hundredth time and wants us to laugh at it as if we first heard it.”
A relationship that’s always evolving and a lenient attitude toward dirty socks on the floor? Sounds like a recipe for success to us.
