*Black Twitter has had it with SteveHarvey offering up relationship advice to women so they put him on blast following his latest remarks at a recent event.
“I tell women this all the time. All men can change and all men will change but there is only one woman that we’re going to change for,” Harvey said. “It’s just one. We don’t change for all woman we only change for one woman. If he ain’t changing, you ain’t the one.”
Does he have a point or did he totally miss the mark?
Many folks have noted the issues with listening to Harvey when it comes to relationships… considering he’s been through two divorces and married wife Marjorie Harvey in 2007.
“Steve Harvey’s rise to ‘relationship guru’ has been fascinating to watch. I mean f— that n—- and his trash ass opinions, just stating it’s amazing that people will really let any ole damn body give them love advice,” one person wrote.
“Me going to Steve Harvey for relationship advice is like going to Birdman about money management,” another said. “Why would you listen to him?”
“Unpopular opinion: Steve Harvey speaks a lot of bull—,” wrote another.
“Steve Harvey is on his, what, third or fourth marriage now?” someone said. “He’s the LAST person I’d listen to for relationship advice, lol. Bless his soul.”
Are you feeling Steve’s message? Are fans being too critical? Sound off in the comments below.
DEAR ABBY: I’m writing in response to “Requires Companionship” (Feb. 7), whose husband has atypical Parkinson’s and she’s considering dating. My wife was diagnosed nine years ago, and she, too, has reached the point where she can no longer walk, write, or speak. We have, however, found ways to communicate and spend quality time together.
I tried to care for her at home, but over the last year and a half, it became too difficult. With the help of our daughters, we found a wonderful senior living place where she is happy. I go to the gym every morning, then visit with her and have lunch. I bring her clothes home to wash and take care of anything she may need or want. We spend the holidays together with the family at her place to make things special.
We are both 81, married 57 years. I, too, am lonely and sad at times, but I love her more than the world and want to make sure she is well taken care of and content. As for companionship, I have met some wonderful people at the senior living place, as well as at the gym and in restaurants I frequent, which helps with the loneliness.
If the shoe were on the other foot, I know she’d do the same for me. After all, that is what our marriage is all about, “in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.”
– Jim in Nevada
DEAR JIM: Your letter is inspirational. In your P.S. you asked me to print it to help others. Your letter, and others I’m including here, may help to put this sensitive subject into perspective:
DEAR ABBY: I am a young 57-year-old woman. My husband has Parkinson’s and brain tumors. We have a son with autism, so I have been a caregiver for more than 30 years of marriage.
To “Requires” I say: Take time for yourself, but do not tell your husband. Enjoy what years you have left and grab some of the happiness you deserve. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are cheating on your husband. The life you had with him was over emotionally and physically long ago. You have given up enough of your life. Your husband is having all his needs met and now it’s your turn.
Yes, I believe in marriage. But who is going to worry about you? People who judge you don’t understand and won’t understand. Joining a support group may help, but don’t put yourself on the back burner. You count, too. Good luck and God bless.
– Sandra in New Jersey
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 64-year-old woman who was in the same boat for 15 years. My husband was angry, passive-aggressive and reclusive. Leaving him to die on his own (of cancer) was unthinkable. So was actually dating.
What saved my life and sanity was Meetup. With my husband’s blessing, I joined and participated in five social groups with different interests – lunch with the ladies, dinners and hikes, craft clubs, etc. I was out with communicative people at least twice a week and came home happier, usually with restaurant treats and stories to share.
“R.C.’s” life does not need to feel like it’s over. It’s possible to plant new seedlings for the future while not causing any problems now.
– Wishing Her Well in California
DEAR ABBY: As the daughter of someone with Parkinson’s, I know what it’s like not to be able to talk with a loved one. My mom communicates by writing and using a voice assistance computer.
“R.C.’s” husband didn’t ask for this disease. He is feeling lonely, too, but he is not dead. She should work on developing a different approach to communicating with him. These patients may lose the ability to speak, but not the ability to think clearly and see what is going on around them.
— ♤Ntho tse monate♤ (@TheRealPholosho) May 15, 2018
Steve Harvey has made a career out of offering up relationship advice to women so it’s no surprise that he did so again at a recent event.
“I tell women this all the time. All men can change and all men will change but there is only one woman that we’re going to change for,” Harvey says. “It’s just one. We don’t change for all woman we only change for one woman. If he ain’t changing, you ain’t the one.”
In an apparent response to his newest piece of advice making the rounds online, many folks have called out the issues with listening to the radio and talk show host when it comes to relationships. He’s been through two divorces and married wife Marjorie Harvey in 2007.
“Steve Harvey’s rise to ‘relationship guru’ has been fascinating to watch. I mean f— that n—- and his trash ass opinions, just stating it’s amazing that people will really let any ole damn body give them love advice,” one person said.
“Me going to Steve Harvey for relationship advice is like going to Birdman about money management,” someone said. “Why would you listen to him?”
“Unpopular opinion: Steve Harvey speaks a lot of bull—,” another said.
“Steve Harvey is on his, what, third or fourth marriage now?” someone said. “He’s the LAST person I’d listen to for relationship advice, lol. Bless his soul.”
Improving your marriage is like getting in shape — they both take a lot of effort. PH888/Shutterstock
Peter Pearson likens improving your marriage to getting in shape, in the sense that “it won’t happen without effort.”
Pearson is a couples therapist and the cofounder, along with his wife, couples therapist Ellyn Bader, of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California.
When couples sign up for an appointment with him, he often has them agree to do the “Daily Double” beforehand, which he says is both an intervention and a diagnostic exercise.
The exercise sounds much simpler than it is: Twice a day, each partner has to say or do something to express to their partner that they love, value, respect, or appreciate them. At the same time, they have to avoid displaying any negative behaviors.
Ideally, the exercise would last a month, but Pearson said most couples can’t make it that long, so he typically prescribes two weeks. The kicker? If one partner slips, the couple has to start the exercise from scratch.
On the Couples Institute website, Pearson shares examples of positive behaviors, such as “I asked several questions before butting in with my reactions” and “When I had negative thoughts about my partners, I shifted to thinking of what I appreciated.”
Examples of negative behaviors include sarcasm, blaming or accusing, and “psychoanalyzing my partner during a difficult discussion.”
Couples who haven’t signed up for an appointment with Pearson can certainly try the exercise on their own. You can think of it as gamifying your relationship, the same way many app-makers have gamified the process of getting fit.
But beware: “It’s harder than it seems,” Pearson said. “People start learning some really interesting stuff about themselves.”
For example, having to stop yourself every time you’re about to berate your partner for being annoying might lead you to realize just how often you’re berating the person. And struggling to display politeness in a conversation with your partner might reveal how brusque you are typically.
On the website, Pearson writes: “You are the one in control of whether or to you do The Daily Double for thirty days. You can’t blame your partner if you don’t do it.”
*Black Twitter has had it with Steve Harvey offering up relationship advice to women so they put him on blast following his latest remarks at a recent event.
