Relationships Talk

Prince Albert of Monaco knows a thing or two about what it’s like for an American actress to marry into a royal family.

When his mother, Princess Grace Kelly, left her Oscar-winning acting career in 1956 to marry his father, Prince Rainier of Monaco, the media frenzy surrounding their fairytale wedding was perhaps even bigger than the one surrounding Meghan Markle and Prince Harry today.

His own wedding to Princess Charlene, a former Olympic swimmer from South Africa, also drew plenty of attention back in July 2011. So, obviously, he has some wisdom to offer to the nearly newlyweds for navigating married life under intense media scrutiny.

“I know Prince Harry and he’s a wonderful young man. If they ask me I would give them that advice, to make sure they have their intimate moments and to preserve those as much as possible because that’s so important for the balance of your life but also for your children you’re going to have,” Prince Albert told Hoda Kotb while giving Today an exclusive tour of his mother’s childhood home outside of Philadelphia.

Last July, before Harry and Meghan made it official, Prince Albert told People that navigating the press and royal protocol is, “a pretty tough act, especially in the British royal family, which is scrutinized by the press as no one’s been.”

“It was difficult for Charlene to handle,” he said. “I can’t imagine the difference now with the increased pace of news and social media.”

But he does think that Markle’s former career as an actress will help her.

“Mom said being an actress did prepare you a little,” Albert said about his mother, Princess Grace Kelly. “It familiarized you a little with the press. Mom taught us that you have to do all you can to protect your private life, but you also have to face the press at some points.”

Watch the full interview on NBC’s Today.

In college I had a family ethics professor state, “I believe in long courtships and short engagements.”

His advice about marriage has always stood out in my mind, not just in regard to marriage advice, but to many major life decisions. There are times when life forces us to act quickly, but it is important not to succumb to the tyranny of the urgent by recognizing that there is a time for prudence.

It has been reported that the Cumberland County Board of Chosen Freeholders are strongly urging the Cumberland County College (CCC) Board of Trustees to consider a jointure (a merger) with the Rowan College of Gloucester County (RCGC).

If we do not join together, what is the plan of action for the CCC Board of Trustees and Administration in addressing the enrollment and financial problem?

The potential jointure seems to be a marriage decision without the courtship period. I believe in new ideas to help our area, but I am also cautious. Caution is warranted because the data shows that Cumberland County does not always end up on the best side of deals involving the State and other governmental jurisdictions. It is vitally important that the interest of the students, and all of Cumberland County, be safeguarded through a proper process that is planned, transparent, and engaging with the community.

The CCC Board of Trustees approved a Memorandum of Understanding with RCGC to explore this concept. The rationale for this proposal, as I understand it, is to assist in the solvency of our local community college, expand educational opportunities for our students, and create economic opportunities.

These are laudable and rational goals. Now that we know the goals, the public should be made aware of the timeline and the specifics of the due diligence process that is being followed in making this major decision. Additionally, we need to know the range of alternatives that are also being explored that could achieve the same ends without a full jointure with RCGC.

In any corporate merger and acquisition timeline, there is a due diligence process that involves an intense study of the organization’s strategic position, financial data, operational assets, and legal matters. A robust process also consists of the use of a red team, “an independent group that challenges an organization to improve its effectiveness by assuming an adversarial role or point of view.” Following a thoughtful due diligence process is vital to successful ventures, and we must consider alternatives. I am hopeful that a robust procedure is being followed in making this decision, and that it will be shared with the public.

Additional questions need to be asked, and assumptions challenged, in this process. It is my understanding from Freeholder Director Derella’s letter regarding the potential jointure that one of the areas of concern is a projected $2 million shortfall in the CCC budget, and that steps have been taken to reduce the deficit to $750,000.

How does becoming a regional institution solve the national trends of lower enrollment in community colleges? The South Jersey Times Editorial Board reported that RCGC itself only had a .6% increase in enrollment for 2017-2018 and is projecting a flat enrollment for next year. How does marrying the two institutions solve the issue at hand?

If we established a blue-ribbon panel for considering opportunities for the vocational school, why not do so for the college?

If we do not join together, what is the plan of action for the CCC Board of Trustees and Administration in addressing the enrollment and financial problem?

I hope that the process that is being carried out explores the past, present, and potential future conditions of CCC. The outcome of this process should be presented to the stakeholders, namely: the taxpayers and students.

There should also be open forums that allow for a thoughtful exchange of ideas, and alternatives must be considered before any final decisions occur.

Director Derella’s letter also stated, “Revenue at CCC is tied directly to enrollment, and therefore revenue continues to decline.”

However, the understanding for the NJ Community College system used to be that 1/3 of the costs was to be paid by the County, 1/3 by the State, and 1/3 by the students. An examination of the county’s and state’s investment in the college should also be conducted as part of a due diligence process. As a county, we have made a significant investment in a full-time Vo-Tech institution. Have we done the same with our community college? If not, why?

Innovative partnerships are vital to improving educational access and affordability without sacrificing quality and special needs. RCGC and Rowan College of Burlington County (RCBC) adopted the Rowan “brand” without losing their institutional autonomy. If it is genuinely determined that it is in the best interest of the institution that we assume the brand, can we do so without losing our autonomy?

If not, why?

Rowan University is not listed as a partner in the University Center for CCC; why are they not a partner? What are the reasons why we should marry with an institution that has not partnered in the same manner as our regional colleges/universities?

Can we have the 3+1 Rowan University program at CCC without the jointure? Why or why not? Does CCC need to merge with RCGC to link educational achievement with in-demand jobs in the marketplace? Why or why not? Are there other partnerships that we should explore that may be more benefiting to the goals of increasing education opportunities? These are some of the questions that need to be investigated and presented to the public.

The actor Ed Begley, Jr. said, “For decades, community colleges have been the backbone of the American Workforce Training. Because they are nimble and closely attuned to local community needs, they are inherently positioned to be influential leaders of the movement for a sustainable economy.” The community college was designed to reflect its community and serve its needs. Gloucester County and Cumberland County are vastly different. According to the US Census Data, here is a quick snapshot of some fundamental differences:

• Gloucester County has a population of 292,206 (2017) with 83.6% classified as white alone. 6.0% of the population identifies as Hispanic or Latino and, 10.9% identities as Black or African American alone. 29.9% of their population over 25 years of age have a bachelor’s degree or higher (2012-2016). The median income is $78,592 (2016) with a 7.8% of the population in poverty.
• Cumberland County has a population of 152,538 (2017) with 71.7% classified as white alone. 30.2% of our population identifies as Hispanic or Latino, and 22.0% identifies as Black or African American alone. 14.3% of our population over 25 years of age have a bachelor’s degree or higher (2012-2016). Our median income is $49,537 (2016) with 18.4% of our population in poverty.

These demographic differences are critical in the due diligence process of merging with a county that is very different from our own. Will a regional college be able to reflect and react to the needs of our community? How will merging with RCGC specifically help link Cumberland County students to regional jobs and opportunities that they might not have had without such an arrangement? How will it benefit the Cumberland County economy?

I am not opposed to a regional community college. I appreciate Director Derella’s letter to the community on this matter. I hope that an open dialogue with a data-driven presentation will continue in our community as the respective boards conduct a thorough due diligence process. It is necessary this process is free from political pressure or financial coercion. The Boards of Trustees for RCGC and CCC must be able to examine this issue without the threat of losing financial support. Each entity must do what is best for the students.

Another idea for the policymakers to consider is the creation of a blue-ribbon panel to explore how best to expand educational and workforce opportunities to Cumberland County residents. In 2008, a blue-ribbon panel was created in Cumberland County to examine the possibility of creating a four-year vocational high school. If we established a blue-ribbon panel for considering opportunities for the vocational school, why not do so for the college? A blue-ribbon panel would aid in the due diligence process, and allow for more voices and perspectives at the table.

I urge the CCC Board of Trustees and the Cumberland County Freeholder Board to make every effort to open the dialogue to the public by presenting all the facts and options that are available to us. I also urge my fellow citizens to be engaged in this process. We must ensure that our students receive the very best education, and that the community college system is in the best position to achieve this goal while aiding in expanding economic opportunities for our county residents.

In the end, a regional college may be the right choice—but we, the public, are not able to draw that conclusion without more information and more time. Perhaps we can date RCGC before we get married to it.

Respectfully Submitted,

Dr. Robin Weinstein

Upper Deerfield, NJ

*The opinions expressed above are my own and do not relate to my employment or other affiliations.

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There are few things more daunting—and seemingly impossible to perfect—than motherhood. But Ciara makes it look easy. Since giving birth to her son, Future, in 2014, and, more recently, 1-year-old Sienna, the musical artist has been documenting all of the trials and tribulations of raising kids, with humor and grace. “Mom Life 😍,” reads the caption of one photo she’s shared, with Sienna crawling onto her legs as she braids her son’s hair. And somehow, between such multitasking, Ciara has also found time to work on a new album—and design jewelry for Pandora.

Mother’s Day is the inspiration behind the latest campaign she’s fronting for the jewelry company. “[The collection] symbolizes being a mom and what that feeling is,” she explains. “There’s a limited-edition lock-heart charm and a cute pacifier charm, which I love because as a mom you always want to have a piece of your kids with you.” Here, Ciara doles out more thoughts on motherhood—from date night to diaper rash.

What was your first Mother’s Day like as a mother?

It was so sweet. My husband surprised me in Washington, D.C., where I was on tour. It felt really good to be thought of and I felt like I accomplished something great and [finally] realized it. Sometimes when you’re going through emotions, you don’t even realize what happens. To really say, ‘Wow, I’m a mom and I’m doing all right,’ felt good. It was very special.

It’s nice to have moments like those to pause and reflect. How do you think motherhood has changed you as a person?

It’s changed me for the better. It’s made me not sweat the small stuff. I think [being a mom] gives you more compassion in life, and more love in your heart. I have to say, I do love giving love [laughs] but I want to give more. There’s nothing sweeter than putting a smile on your kid’s face; there’s nothing sweeter than putting a smile on another kid’s face.

Pandora

Do you have your own Mother’s Day routine nailed down at this point, or does it change every year?

I wake up and roll with the flow, and take in all the love everyone gives me. My husband has always been really thoughtful and I love celebrating my mom, my grandmother, my mother-in-law, and grandmother-in-law as well—all the women in my life.

How is it different from other holidays for you?

It’s not so much about what you’re doing in your work world. I step outside of who I am as an entertainer. It’s about stripping everything down to realness and the necessary moments in life.

How do you make sure that you take care of yourself when you’re looking after everyone else in your family?

That’s a really good question. I’ve been saying I need to work on taking care of myself more, because naturally I want to take care of everyone else. I think that’s one area I can get better in, honestly. What’s been helpful for me is making a schedule. When I have things mapped out, I’m able to compartmentalize as I need to. Like, this block is for my phone calls, this block is for my meetings, this block is for my kids, this block is for Mommy and Daddy time.

How often do you have quality time with your husband, Russell Wilson?

We traditionally do date night every Friday. I have to say it’s been pretty cool because it’s the part of the week we look forward to and it gives balance since we’re both always on the go. There’s something about the energy that goes into preparing for that day.

Have you found a strong community of other moms that you can confide in?

Oh yeah. It’s crazy because when I look around now, pretty much most of my friends have kids. So it’s been really cool to go on that journey together and be able to share notes and things we do to take care of our little ones when something happens—if it’s a diaper rash or whatever. It’s funny when you get those old-school remedies too, from your grandmother. It’s been cool to give my friends advice as well.

Pandora

What kinds of tips do you give them?

The thing I’ve always shared is you don’t want to measure one baby by another. Let your baby roll at their own pace. Also, it will all come to you. Someone told me that before, when I was like, “What is being a mom all about?” It’s crazy because you’ve never done it before and it sounds like this foreign concept, but then your maternal instinct kicks in and you really do figure it all out. You create your own unique plan that works for yourself and your family and that’s really beautiful.

You’re friends with Kim Kardashian, and your kids have played together. Has she given you any parenting advice?

It’s been years since our little ones have played together, but she’s always been a really sweet girl. You can tell that she really loves her kids. I think there’s something sweet about seeing your friends and their sincere love for their kids. You see them grow through that experience.

How do you explain your world to your children, as far as fame goes and keeping them protected?

It’s interesting because they’re still really young, so they’re not aware. It’s something that I think about. I think the biggest thing is making life as normal as possible and making sure that they’re having the best opportunity at life and being able to do all that they aspire to do; [giving them] the support system they need to be who they are and find their own voice. That’s really important to our family.

Your son has already carved out a modeling career at quite a young age.

[Laughs] He’s a little rock star.

Does he have any projects coming up?

Schoolwork? Artwork in class [laughs]? I really believe in letting my kids find out who they are and find their direction. He just started doing T-ball, which is really cool. He’s been killing it, if I may say. He got a grand slam on the first hit, which was awesome. I think the key is keeping your kids active. Sienna is so much fun, and I can tell she’s going to be able to hang with her brother. Once she’s walking, look out.

Meghan Markle won’t be the first American in recent history to marry into British nobility.

Illinois native Julie Montagu has been married to Luke Montagu, the future Earl of Sandwich, long before the “Suits” actress accepted Prince Harry’s marriage proposal.

Montagu, the Viscountess of Hinchingbrook, came forward to shed light on what the 36-year-old star will face when she ties the knot with the red-haired prince, who is sixth in line to the throne, in a new documentary for the Smithsonian Channel titled “Million Dollar American Princess: Meghan Markle.”

The special looks at the high-profile relationship through a historical lens to spotlight how this revolutionary real couple is following in a long tradition of exceptional American women who married into European nobility.

Like Markle and Harry, the Montagus met through mutual friends. Montagu was a single mom of two when she captivated her beau. They tied the knot in 2001 and share four children.

“I found out my husband was part of this noble family simply by looking at a credit card of his that had his title on it,” Montagu told Fox News. “His credit card had Viscount Hinchingbrooke on it.”

It wouldn’t be the only surprise Montagu discovered along the way. She said marrying into British aristocracy meant mastering traditional customs like a pro in a country far away from her Midwestern roots.

“So it’s one thing of learning how to drive on the wrong side of the road — I still consider England driving on the wrong side of the road,” she explained. “But then, of course, it’s the other thing of learning how to curtsy, of understanding how to set a formal table.

“Granted, [Markle] may never have to really set the table, but she’ll have to understand which forks go with what course, what knives, learning to eat with the fork in her left hand and the knife in her right hand.

“Even when you finish eating, you have to put your fork and knife a certain way. It’s little things like that, that she is going to have to learn.”

Montagu also stressed that just because Markle is marrying into the royal family, it doesn’t mean she can casually greet them.

Julie and Luke Montagu on their wedding day.  (Courtesy of Julie Montagu.)

“She can’t just really call people a lot of the times, especially in a public function, by their first names, and understanding that when she addresses somebody like another Duke or another Duchess, it would be ‘your grace,’” she said. “When she addresses Kate [Middleton] and [Prince] William, it would be ‘your royal highness.’”

But Montagu, who divides her time between London and her family’s historic house at Mapperton, said she wasn’t surprised that Harry fell for a California girl. In fact, she insisted the British have quickly warmed up to the fairytale romance.

“… The British are incredibly excited,” said Montagu. “Listen, we’ve had sort of this bad rap as Americans, because of Wallis Simpson. So the British are like, ‘Another American divorcee. Look at what happened the last time.’ The last time King Edward had to abdicate because he wanted to marry the love of his life, and now Harry’s able to marry the love of his life without having to go through any red tape, and he immediately got the queen’s blessing.

“Everybody’s really embracing it because it does make the British royal family much more modern and saying ‘This is life.’ Yes, people do get divorced and that should bear no weight on whether or not Harry can marry somebody that he loves or not.”

The small town Midwestern girl said she isn’t surprise that Harry quickly fell for a California girl like Markle.

Britain’s Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle after they announced their engagement in November 2017.  (Reuters)

“I think Harry was drawn to Meghan because she’s full of life,” said Montagu. “She’s energetic, she’s totally optimistic, she has this drive in her. I think, for me, I see a lot of similarities in Meghan and Princess Diana, in this sort of slightly breaking the rules a little bit, but having this energy and being very well received and well loved… Of course, she’s going to have her critics, [but] so did Princess Diana… I think it’s the American energy.”

After the November 2017 engagement, Markle had to give up her thriving acting career and popular lifestyle blog to prepare for her new life as a royal. However, Montagu stressed Markle will be able to put her experience as a Hollywood star to good use in the House of Windsor.

“I have this feeling that we will see Meghan somehow back in the spotlight, whether it’s behind the screen or on the screen,” she said. “I think, for now, she’s taking on this new challenge and she’s going to be newly married. So they’re going to take on these wonderful charitable works together, that they’re both passionate about, and she is an excellent speaker. I’m sure that’s obviously from those years of acting. Those years of acting have really prepared her for this role.

“… She’s already broken, in a sense, some rules… by not always wearing sleeves, not wearing pantyhose all the time, wearing those ripped jeans. It wouldn’t surprise me if, in 10 years’ time, she goes back to acting or starts to produce something.”

Meghan Markle has given up her acting career in America to pursue her new life as a royal in the U.K.  (Reuters)

But one piece of advice Montagu has for Markle after the wedding is to never forget her American roots. Montagu revealed that even after living in the U.K. for 20 years, she has proudly kept her “wonderfully nasally American Midwest accent” despite her four children bearing a British accent.

“The biggest piece of advice I would give Meghan… stay American,” said Montagu. “Keep your American roots, keep your American accent… Don’t let the weather bring you down. It’s easy to do.

“And still have that high energy because that is what… I really feel that the English love about Americans. Our optimism, our energy, our go-getting attitude. And the cup is always half-full for us… Keep that and stay rooted in your American traditions and culture.”

And for the wedding day, Montagu has two predictions: Markle will need to prepare to literally carry the weight of centuries-old royal history. But, she will do in an American style.

Meghan Markle greeting fans in the U.K.  (Reuters)

“I had to wear a tiara to my wedding and it was a family tiara,” she said. “… I’ve heard a lot of people say that they’re predicting she’s going to wear a British designer. I’m going to go out of the box. I think she’s going to wear an American designer, but then she’s going to have that British tiara on top of her head.

“That’s history right there, rooted on top of her, but she’s going to have that American designer all over her… She’s going to basically link the two together.”

“Million Dollar American Princesses: Meghan Markle” airs Sunday, May 13 at 9 p.m. on the Smithsonian Channel.