Toya Bush-Harris has a lot to celebrate and viewers will get to see her doing just that when Married To Medicine returns to Bravo this weekend.space“>
While we have watched Toya and her husband Eugene struggle through some serious obstacles, they’re proud to be out of debt and out of the ht seat when it comes to troubled marriages.
The couple seems to be in a great place after buckling down and paying off their heft debt to the IRS and now that they have weathered that storm together, their future is looking very bright.
“It really took us to buckle down and realize we couldn’t keep spending the way we were. We aren’t using any credit cards and every dollar we earned went toward those taxes. Once we sat down with accountants and tax attorneys, we learned that if we would have prolonged this they would have kept taxing us. We set a goal of eighteen months to two years and we did it. It was heartache but it was worth it. After we paid it off, you could see that a load came off of my husband and it’s so worth it for him to not be so stressed,” she reveals in our exclusive interview.
“The first few seasons, people judged me based on the material things I would talk about and I have to take ownership of that too. I did talk a lot about our cars and clothes and I don’t think people saw who we were. I think it was more difficult for my husband to get to a place where he didn’t use credit cards because that’s how he got through medical school. For him, it was normal. For me, it was terrifying.”
5 things to expect on season 6 of ‘Married To Medicine’
When asked which luxuries were the toughest to give up, Toya says the quality time she spent with her hubby was the hardest habit to kick.
“It was difficult only because we like to go out, have fun, and spend time with our friends. Also the traveling. We made it a priority to go away by ourselves without kids to nourish our relationship so when we had to cut the personal trips that was hard. It inspired us to hurry up and pay it off.”
Viewers will likely notice a lot less bickering between Toya Bush-Harris and her husband this season and that’s something that didn’t come easy for the pair.
“Ten years of marriage is hard work. Trust and believe, she says. “Here’s the deal. My husband and I never stopped counseling. We call them yearly checkups. Every year we go back to the same counselor who saw us before we were married. There is going be something different every year that will put some type of strain on the marriage. I don’t know how to handle every situation that comes our way. I didn’t know how to handle the tax issues because I thought I married into a very secure life and I knew my husband would always take care of his family without any issues. And for my husband, him feeling like he wasn’t supporting the family the way he wanted to and had let his family down, those two things alone put us in a place where we were arguing a lot and not having intimate moments.”
Toya Bush-Harris is hoping that a few of her friends can learn a thing or two from seeing her make big changes in her own relationship.
“I think the most important thing I can offer my friends is the fact that they watch Eugene and I and they may consider our arguing disrespectful, they have to admit that it is a form of communication. I think what they did is get to a place where they weren’t communicating,” she says. “When you get to a point where you would rather ignore it, talk to your girls about it, pretend it doesn’t exist…nothing good is going to come of that. Sometimes fighting is better than not speaking at all because at least you’re communicating. Some things, you’re just going to have to argue about. You have to argue with a goal in mind. It’s not to make him mad, it’s to come to a mutual agreement or understanding.”
Harris says she feels bad for Quad and the humiliating issues she’s facing right now. “I have given her advice on how to be strong and how to not let it change her view on marriage and to stay positive,” she says. “If that’s the man God sent her then it will work out but if its not then your man is still waiting.”
Married To Medicine returns to Bravo on September 2 at 8/7c.
One woman’s version of happily ever after.
“The problem is, everyone gets so swept up in this Disneyland view of what marriage actually is that they completely forget all financial literacy.”
These are the sage words of wisdom from Rhiannon*, a Melbourne woman who recently split from her husband of many years. While she by no means came out of the split with the same level of financial comfort she had while she was in the marriage, Rhiannon credits this with being able to emerge from the marriage relatively secure.
“I never took his name, and before I met him I already had investments and substantial savings from working in a high level IT job,” she says.
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Could you be a victim of financial abuse?
“Growing up, my parents were in a rather unhappy marriage, and I knew my mother wanted to leave. She eventually did, but the only reason she was able to do so was that she had earned more money than my father, and had kept some separate.
“I think when you grow up seeing something like that, you always plan for the contingency of having to leave one day.”
While things weren’t always troubled between Rhiannon and her partner (“no one starts off a marriage expecting it to end,” she exclaims), things soured with the arrival of their child.
“My husband always wanted to have a child, while I was a bit more reluctant. When I did agree to have a child, I had some fertility issues. I had a miscarriage and it was very traumatic. I’d been wanting to make a change from IT anyway, so when I got pregnant we decided I would take time off to look after our baby.”
When Rhiannon’s baby did come along, the couple eventually discovered that their little girl had a disability, which meant more challenges and time than they’d been prepared for.
“It can be frustrating parenting at any time,” Rhiannon says, “but when your child has a disability it is just so much work. Assessments, then diagnosis, then specialist appointments and treatment. It is taxing on parents, more so when you’re basically a single parent because your partner works so much.”
Rhiannon acknowledges that no one starts a marriage expecting it to end, but still thinks women should take financial precautions. Photo: iStock
While Rhiannon remained at home to care for their child, she experienced a form of ‘financial dependency’ for the first time in her life, and says it “terrified” her.
As cracks began to form in their relationship, Rhiannon knew she wanted to leave the marriage.
“My daughter was witnessing a house full of tension and I didn’t want her to be exposed to that, to not have a role model of healthy adult relationships,” she says.
“While I never suffered physical abuse, I certainly suffered emotional abuse, so I knew I had to leave.”
The splitting of Rhiannon and her ex-husband’s finances took a year, with, as usual, lawyers being the biggest winners. She says that if she had her time again she would have kept more of a link to the workforce while she was caring for her daughter, and agreed on an income for that time to be paid by her husband.
“It might sound controversial,” Rhiannon says, “but why shouldn’t women be paid for the childcare work they undertake so that their partners can continue their careers as normal? My ex-husband was unable to contribute much in the way of time when it came to helping out with childcare, but he was certainly in a position to offer me financial compensation for my time, and contribute to my super for the time I wasn’t in official employment.”
Romance should never eclipse the need for financial literacy. Photo: Getty
Ultimately, when the division of funds happened, Rhiannon’s separate savings and investments, as well as the fact that she had contributed equal amounts to the purchase of their home throughout their lives, made splitting things a lot simpler. Still, she says, she doesn’t think the courts help much.
“Forget the court system as an avenue for getting what is owed to you financially,” she says.
“In theory, the courts are there to protect your interests, in practise it’s the lawyers who win and it can take too long to get what is yours in the meantime. My advice to all women is that you have to take responsibility for your own financial affairs ALL THE TIME. When you are in a period of dependency you need to have a firm agreement in place for what your partner is contributing to you and your future.”
Now single and sharing custody of her daughter, Rhiannon has been able to use investments and her savings to fund training in a new career as a life coach, and is optimistic about the future.
“Go in with your eyes open, planning for any eventuality,” Rhiannon says.
“You, and only you, are responsible for your financial security. So make sure you have a plan.”
Today (August 31) is Equal Pay Day. Here is some advice from The White Caravan Foundation:
Berkshire Hathaway CEO Warren Buffett believes making money means nothing without having another person, such as a spouse, to share the wealth with. Thursday, he’s celebrating his 12th wedding anniversary with his wife, Astrid.
“It’s much more fun achieving things in life with a partner, there’s no question about it,” Buffett told Forbes. “It’s really a huge advantage from a personal standpoint to have a wonderful partner.”
“That’s true obviously in marriage, I mean that’s the most important decision that you make,” he added. “Who you marry, which is the ultimate partnership, is enormously important in determining the happiness in your life and your success and I was lucky in that respect.”
Scientific research backs up Buffett’s advice. A study by Carnegie Mellon University found that people with supportive spouses are “more likely to give themselves the chance to succeed.”
Researchers studied 163 married couples and found that those with supportive spouses were more likely to take on big challenges. Those who accepted those challenges reported experiencing more personal growth, happiness and psychological well-being just a few months later.
Buffett told Forbes that his first wife, Susan Buffett, was one of his “greatest teachers,” along with his late father, Howard, and late mentor Benjamin Graham.
Susan died away in 2004. She had been the 17th richest woman in the world, worked as a director for Berkshire Hathaway and served as the Buffett Foundation’s president.
In 2006, Buffett remarried to longtime friend Astrid Menks in a notably low-profile wedding held on the same day as his 76th birthday. Buffett, dressed in his business suit, and Menks, wearing a silk top and white pants, held a small ceremony at Buffett’s daughter Susie’s house in Omaha, Nebraska. Buffett’s sons were out of the country, so the only other people there were Susie, Menks’ sister and the judge who officiated during the 15-minute ceremony.
Though you may not have a choice in determining how you were born and raised, Buffett said, “you have something to say about who you marry.”
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Salman Khan is no stranger to headlines! While you must be thinking that Salman’s probably in the news for his upcoming film Bharat, you are probably wrong.
Salman Khan is now making news for the television show Dus Ka Dum. Salman is hosting the finale episode of his show alongside his ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’ co-stars, Shah Rukh Khan and Rani Mukherji.
Twenty years since the release of their film ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, the audience will finally see all the three stars sharing the screen together! While the stunning promo of the final episode has already taken the social media by storm, one can’t help but adore the phenomenal chemistry that the three stars share.
What seems to be a thrilling episode, the promo shows Rani and Salman merrily dancing to Shah Rukh’s famous dance number, ‘Lungi Dance’. By the end of the promo, Shah Rukh can be seen giving tips to Salman on how to deal with women.
It is in between this fun and frolic that Rani asked the Bharat star to have kids. In the promo video, the three stars are seen playing some fun games, one of which is changing baby diapers. Salman and Shah Rukh can be seen participating in the game, while Rani is shown judging the game. This is when It is when Rani asks him to forget about getting married and just have kids.
All said and done, it will be interesting to see the finale episode of Dus Ka Dum as nobody would like to miss a chance to see the beautiful chemistry of the trio.
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