Relationships Talk

We were in the middle of our honeymoon when I finally picked up the copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up that had been sitting in my suitcase. I’d pointed it out to my husband in the airport before we left for our flight to Croatia, and he surprised me by putting it on my seat when we boarded.

That day, though, I’d pulled out the book and brought it to the beach. Before I knew it, I was dog-earring pages. “This book is amazing,” I told my husband. I was not only going to return to America a married woman, but now, thanks to Marie Kondo, an organized woman! I couldn’t wait to get home and start piling, sorting, and tossing all of our unnecessary belongings.

Attacking my clothing was easy — I had so much. A robust coat collection of oversize, Scandivaian-looking men’s herringbone dusters that I’d collected throughout the years from various thrift stores and referred to as “the archives,” and sneakers that were pushing 15 years old. But once I got to the sentimental pieces — Marie suggests people do this category last — the fun sort of fizzled. It got a lot harder. I pushed through, though, following the book and asking myself, “Does it make sense for me to keep it, treasure it, or say thanks and get rid of it?” just like Marie suggests.

I made good progress, moving through these valued items slowly, but then I came across something that forced me to pause. Inside a large, accordion-style folder was everything I’d saved related to our wedding. It was filled to the brim with mementos: carnival specs, detailed notes from food vendors, notes on DJs, journals, magazine tearsheets, even Etsy purchase orders for our dog’s wedding day handkerchief. My husband and I don’t have tons of photos of and never hung onto things from early in our relationship, so this massive and heavy box of stuff felt important. I had to save it! But did I want it? Did it bring me any joy? Not really. It was an ugly box with a bunch of notebooks and loose receipts, and once I started looking through the papers individually, it kind of became an awful reminder of the “uglier” part of the wedding: the costs, the rules we had to follow about table settings and who would sit where. I lifted the large purple file folder, held it close, and whispered thank you.

I worried I’d regret this decision. That the wedding wasn’t just about the photos, but all the memories attached to it, receipts and all. But it’s been three years since I chucked that big bin, and I have no regrets. I never notice its absence, and I never wish I could sit down and go through old torn papers from our caterer, or wish I could look to see where I ended up sitting the cousins for dinner. The memory I hold onto lives in my mind — and in the cloud — and that brings me joy.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim

What has your latest role in “Creed II” added to your acting skills?
I think I have a lot more confidence. When you’re in a franchise film such as “Creed,” you have a sense of respect and reverence, but [also] a sense of ownership of your character. I was a new addition to the “Creed” franchise. Between Sylvester Stallone and Michael [B. Jordan] and Tessa [Thompson], all those people are mainstays. So then I come in, and it was one of those things where you hope you’re a lot more confident in your abilities. I have a greater sense of ownership of what I’m doing as an actor, which makes the work more fun.

What advice would you give your younger self?
Have fun, but also I would’ve told myself to be better prepared on a regular basis. I look back on certain opportunities and I wish I had been better prepared. You’re able to get more out of the job if you take time to prepare more. Now that I’m older, I have a lot more patience.

A lot of people are calling your role in “The Hate U Give” your breakout. What about your career up to this point prepared you for this?
I think all of the theater that I’ve done and all the series lead work that I’ve done. Working with August Wilson, working with Lynn Nottage, the director Daniel Sullivan, sharing the stage twice with Viola Davis, and then sharing the stage with Denzel Washington. You hone your skills, you hone your craft, you get better, and in doing that, there’s a level of confidence you have as an actor. Because you have that confidence, what I was able to bring was a sense of comfort and ease to the role. They always talk about actors “settling in” to a role, so when you settle into a role, you take ownership of it and it sits on you well. And I was able to do that. Twenty years of work is what best prepared me for this role at this time.

Did your relationship with theater change once you started work in TV and film?
You always wish you were able to do more theater. It’s funny how when you’re in theater, all you can dream about doing is film and television. When you’re doing film and television, all you can think about is going back to the theater. I always stayed close to the theater. For 18 years straight, I was doing at least a play a year. I always try to go back and see what my friends are doing, see what young people are doing, see new talent coming up and see if I can be of some support in some way to the young actors. Now I’m wishing I had time to go back to the theater and take three months to do a play.

How do you prepare now—whether for an audition or before you’re stepping on set?
I approach the work like it’s theater. Especially for “The Hate U Give,” I was able to take a month and sequester myself and really allow myself to find the role, allow myself to find the character, allow myself to build the character from the inside out. You do those things when you write your character biography, find his walk, the way he situates his mouth, the way he speaks. I really took time to create and craft the character. Often when you’re doing film and television, especially, you don’t have the time. Choose specific characters that are really attractive to you and let the character have the level of depth that someone may not have expected to see before.

Who was the casting director who gave you your first big break?
Mali Finn. This was 2000 and I was doing a play called “Jitney.” It was right around pilot season, which is January [and] February, and I got asked to come in for an audition for a TV show called “Gideon’s Crossing.” I go into Mali’s office, and she calls me in and she says, “Hey, have a seat,” and we proceeded to talk for 45 minutes. She asks me who I am, where I’m from, what I like to do. She got to know me. This was my first real audition in Los Angeles. She made me feel like I mattered. Then she said, “You’re going to come back in a few days, and I’m going to introduce you to the show creator. You have a good chance of getting this.” I was 25 years old. I ended up getting that job. It went to series for a season, and it was great.

READ: The Hate U Give Filmmaker Heralds the Rise of Amandla

Do you often wish you had more time to sequester yourself and build out characters?
Yes, especially as you get older. As you get older, characters become more nuanced. When you’re a kid in your 20s and 30s, you show up, you’re handsome, you say a couple lines, you might take your shirt off, and you get the girl. As you get older, life is complicated so the characters have to get complicated.

Reflecting on those earlier roles, how do you mark progress?
Those characters were all a reflection of where I was in my life. Marriage and getting older gets infused into the roles. What really reflected it was when I had children. When I look at “Lincoln Heights,” what I did in my early 30s, that was a father, but I didn’t have kids. I think I was just married. Then I fast-forward to “Seven Seconds” and “The Hate U Give,” and it’s a different kind of father. It’s informed differently because I’m a different man. I carry that responsibility of fatherhood. Now it becomes more of a responsibility than it does just being a job.

How do you keep from burning out?
I was 30 years old, and my mentor said to me, “Russell, at some point in your life, you’re going to have to put life first.” What I began to do was place more value in my friendships, place more value in family. I didn’t invest in frivolous things and frivolous people. That keeps me from burning out.

Was that experience a rarity?
It is a rarity. I don’t really feel that people in general really care about the work. I think they look for somebody whose image or look is right. I’m glad I came along when I did. I felt that my work was appreciated. I was allowed to be an artist. You get a different level of respect that may not be appreciated today.

Why do you think that is?
There’s so much content—sometimes too much content. We just need people to fill the void. What happens is people aren’t given time to grow. There’s no proper mentorships now. I think students who are coming out of college and conservatory, or some not at all, are given leads that they’re not ready for. They’re not taking the time to learn and develop, to make mistakes, to watch an actor or actress that’s seven, 10 years their senior. How do you come onto a set and how do you address the people who knock on your door and say they’re ready for you? How to be on time? All the things you learn by watching people. People are given opportunities too young, you don’t get a chance to learn that. You’re put in a leadership position and you haven’t been taught how to lead. And I think it’s a problem. It’s not their fault, it’s just the nature of where the business is now. There’s so much content happening that kids don’t know what they’re doing.

As someone with more experience, do you have this sense of responsibility when you walk on set?
I am the elder statesman, so I do have a responsibility to let younger actors know there is possibly a different way. Or let them know that they may or may not have handled that situation appropriately. They might disagree, they might not appreciate it in the moment, but I know that’s my responsibility and I take it very seriously because that’s how I was treated. I came from a [household where you] do what you’re told, and when an elder speaks, you listen and you wait your turn and you learn. If you’re quiet long enough, you’ll learn a lot more. I think that young people are eager to let people know, “I’m here and I deserve to be heard!” And that’s fine and good, but at the same time, most aren’t ready to lead. When you say, “I’m ready,” you can’t go back.

How important is mentorship in the industry?
I like mentorship and advice to happen organically. If I’m working with young actors and there’s a moment in there, I’ll take it and I’ll give advice or we might have a conversation. For me, that’s the best way to give back.

Others start preparing for the extension of their UK visa or citizenship application. Breytenbachs have prepared some general tips for clients to keep in mind to ensure a smooth visa application process.

Do not let your current UK visa expire

Not letting your visa expire may sound like a very obvious thing to do, but one will be surprised how many people forgetfully do so.

Make sure that you make careful note of when your visa will expire, and mark on your calendar! You will also have to allow enough time to prepare your extension or new visa application.

If your UK visa has expired and you are still in the UK, please contact Breytenbachs without delay to help salvage the situation!

Always have a valid and current passport

It is always better to ensure that your passport is valid and current, in case of an emergency. If your passport has expired or will expire before you submit your UK visa application, you must apply for a new passport. For certain visa applications, you will be required to have a longer validity date left than others.

Keep original documents

Most UK visa applications will require original documents. We therefore highly recommend that you keep all original birth certificates, marriage certificates, degree certificates or any important documents. It is often a very long process to apply for such documents again from authorities. So, to save yourself a lot of time and hassles – save those originals.

Follow the rules of your UK visa

Every different UK visa or permit has their own rules attached to it. Ensure that you know what the rules are and that you follow these rules carefully. If you break any immigration rules attached to your UK visa, it might jeopardise any future extension application. If you are unsure about what you may or may not do, contact your Breytenbachs consultant for advice!

Follow the straight and narrow

When you eventually apply for British Citizenship, you will have to fulfil a good character requirement. Try to be the best citizen you can be! You can do this by ensuring your taxes and National Insurance contributions are up to date.

Bankruptcy and criminal convictions can also jeopardise your citizenship application.

Save money for the application fee

Unfortunately, visa application fees are very expensive, and so are the Immigration Health Surcharge (IHS) attached to UK visa applications. Fortunately, the IHS is not payable with ILR and citizenship applications. Rather save upfront, than qualifying for ILR and not being able to afford to apply.

Fulfil the English Language Requirement

There are different ways to fulfil the English language requirement. Ensure that you can fulfil the requirement at the correct level. You are welcome to double check with your Breytenbachs consultant.

Don’t book travel overseas

Breytenbachs advise our clients not to book any overseas holidays or trips until they have their approved application and documents back. The Home Office processing times vary for different types of applications and depending on the volume of applications they have.

Get professional help

At Breytenbachs, we understand that there is lots of information to take in and lots of requirements to meet, and it can be very overwhelming. Why not arrange a consultation with Breytenbachs and allow us to ease the burden and help you with the application?

Please note that the information in this article does not constitute professional advice. It is provided for general information purposes, without giving any warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. Visit the Breytenbachs website for more details at www.bic-immigration.com, or fill out the form below.