Category Archives: Relationships
Join the Dating App Throwing Parties for London's Elite
Inner Circle is London’s experiential dating app, co-founded in 2012 by David Vermeulen. It now boasts one million eligible users across the world
After a long relationship, I decided to try online dating. I tried two apps and was disappointed by both the quality of people and the actual user experiences of these services. I thought, this could be done better, so I started to build a dating platform with a focus on the highest quality and the best experience. Thus, Inner Circle was born.
Growth came organically for the app. It was the perfect mix of a great idea and the luck of starting at the right time and with the right people. We launched in Amsterdam and invited our friends, who invited their friends, and it snowballed from there. Before we knew it, we were living in cities around the world and hitting big membership milestones. I think the breakthrough moment was seeing a gap in the market for a dating app that focussed on experience.
There is no typical Inner Circle member. Our initial screening makes sure that everyone is genuine and who they say they are, and also looking for a real relationship. After that, it’s really an eclectic mix – there are bankers, teachers, actors, artists. Our members are young, attractive professionals from across the world and we work to ensure there is a variety of eligible people. To put that in a real-life example, in the early days we got picked up by KLM airline and attracted a lot of KLM staff. However, after a while we became worryingly close to becoming KLM-Dating.com, so the screening altered to provide a mix of members.
Our vetting process is a closely guarded secret, as it’s our recipe for success. All of our screenings are done in-house by a team who crosscheck Facebook and LinkedIn pages. They take into consideration the profile of the individual and the balance of members already on the platform.
The biggest reason for turning a member away is that the picture doesn’t show their face – you’d be surprised by how often this happens. If you cover your face with a Snapchat filter, you’re not going to get through.
The biggest dating faux pas is trying too hard. When you’re in a dating environment, everyone wants to meet someone and make it work, so if you relax and be yourself, you’ll be much more likely to find someone who you genuinely get on with. The absolute worst thing you can do is not be honest, because even if it works and you get on with someone, eventually they will realise that you weren’t being yourself and feel cheated; then you’ll be back at square one. Remember that you’re a catch, and the right person will see that.
We have had so many Inner Circle love stories. We actually have a baby wall in our office and on occasion, when people have met us directly at events, we have been invited to their weddings.
Going through a break-up sucks but remember, you’ve got this. Take some time for yourself and remember who you are.
My best piece of dating advice is simple – just be yourself. There’s nobody else like you and somewhere, out there, someone is looking for you.
https://www.theinnercircle.co/
Some hazards of online dating: Coombs
I have often been asked if I have used online dating and decided a few months ago to write a column about the trend. I began my adventure by interviewing friends that had tried it and mostly they were frustrated with it. I do know couples that have met that way and are married so it certainly has its benefits, but I also think it has evolved in time much like Facebook, which once was just a small place to share pictures of friends.
I heard some funny stories and after a few interviews I realized I was going to have to throw myself on there to truly understand the nature of online dating and what it has become. I began my journey by joining Tinder and Bumble. Tinder used to be known as the “hook-up” site and you enter minimal information about yourself and pictures. You are shown people in your area and if you want a chance to chat with them, you swipe right. If you don’t want to meet them, you swipe left and they disappear from your choices. If the person you liked also has swiped right, a match is created and you can message each other inside the Tinder app. Bumble works almost the same way with the one significant difference being that only the woman can start the conversation. If you don’t say something to the man you matched with within 24 hours, the connection disappears. With the advice of one friend, I added one more site called Plenty of Fish (PoF) which allows anyone to message you. I have drawn the following conclusions after several months of this online experience and here they are:
The danger of dopamine – When you match on Tinder or Bumble the screen actually pops up and creates a visual effect to show the match. Bumble actually uses the word “Boom” to show the match. This is much like pulling a slot machine and hitting a jackpot. I began wondering early on if people get more satisfaction from seeing how many people they can match with than actually looking for a true life match. The rush of dopamine is addictive and just matching may become the goal.
The pen-pal phenomenon – I had heard many other users complain about this issue of people just wanting to talk rather than meet. I personally experienced a few endless conversations that feel like long and uncomfortable interviews. These are not phone conversations. These are just endless messages that go on for days and people checking in on your life. The person has no intention of asking for your number or going out. One of my friends has a strict rule that if a person won’t agree to meet right away to see if there is a connection, she moves on.
The mystery of pictures – Some people don’t put up any pictures and some people put up drawings or sculptures so you are just supposed to be impressed with their name and age. I suspect that these people are married or don’t like the way they look. I also noticed that in many profiles men only show pictures with hats on. If this means a man is bald I think they should show it and be proud of it. Honesty starts building in any connection right from the start, whether you are online or not.
New words – I had to search a few words to understand people’s profiles. Sapiosexual was one I had never heard of and I kept seeing it. It means that a person finds intelligence incredibly attractive. So, I guess I found out I am a sapiosexual. I thought all people prioritized intelligence but apparently some more than most. I also kept coming across the term ethically non-monogamous. There are lots of people on these sites that are married and apparently if your spouse has approved an open relationship you are ethically non-monogamous.
I have more to report and intend to write more in my next column. My experience thus far has led me to remember something I once heard a comedian say about dating and I am adding my own thoughts based on what I have discovered with online dating.
Dating in your 20s is like going to an apple orchard and every tree is filled with apples. You walk around looking at all these different apples on different trees and consider which type of apples you like — green, red, big, little, etc. There are so many options that you casually consider what you want to eat and there are so many choices that you don’t worry about running out of apples. Dating in your 30s you realize that all of the apple trees are gone and the orchard is empty. Dating in your 40s you find that many of the apples are back, but now they’re in a market instead of an orchard. You see all of the apples in the market and you think “wow, look at all these apples, I’m going to go and take a look and maybe have a bite.” When you walk into the market, the apples all look nice in their stands. When you go pick up an apple you realize that each apple has something wrong with it. One apple has a worm. The next apple has a bite taken out of it and the final one you grab has a bruise. The apples are back, but they’re not new and fresh like they were in the orchard. Online dating exposes many of these issues and I look forward to sharing my final conclusions in my next column.
Katie Coombs is a native Nevadan and mother of four children. You can reach her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/UncommonSenseKC/.
Read or Share this story: https://www.rgj.com/story/life/2018/09/05/some-hazards-online-dating-coombs/1207974002/
Sara Foster Offers Jennifer Garner Dating Advice After Their Hilarious Instagram Exchange (Exclusive)
Jennifer Garner‘s famous friends are so ready to set her up with some eligible bachelors!
The 46-year-old actress — who is currently single following her split from Ben Affleck in 2015 — is clearly a catch, and if she ever needs a wing woman, Sara Foster is her girl.
ET caught up with Sara at Rachel Zoe’s Spring 2019 fashion show at the Hotel Bel-Air on Tuesday, where she revealed what type of guy she’d love to set Jennifer up with on the dating app Bumble.
“I love Jen. She’s to me, like, my total girl crush,” gushed Sara, who serves as Head of Creative for Bumble BFF and Bumble Bizz with her sister, Erin. “She’s the best. She can cook, she can really do it all. She can, like, kick your butt, and she’s beautiful.”
“Plus she’s the best mom,” Sara, who shares a daughter, 7-year-old Valentina, with husband Tommy Haas, continued. “I always tell her, ‘You make me ashamed to be a mom, to be a human.’ Because she’s genuinely perfect.”
So, what type of guy deserves a woman like Jennifer? According to Sara, someone “athletic.”
“People say all these [wonderful] things on a red carpet, lifting everyone up, but I’m actually being really honest… Jen Garner is actual perfection,” said Sara. “I said [to her], ‘Let’s get you on Bumble,’ because guys are obsessed with her.”
“I would set her up with an athletic guy,” she added. “She needs an athletic guy. Like, [someone] strong that can take her because she can kick [butt].”
In case you missed it, Sara and Jennifer’s dating discussion all started when the Peppermint star posted this hilarious shot of herself unashamedly rocking goggles in the pool:
Sara commented on the pic, writing, “What do I have to do to get you on Bumble and have this be your profile pic?”
“You can have this for the poster,” Jennifer jokingly replied.
Despite her split from Ben, Jennifer has remained on good terms with the actor, whom she shares three kids with: Violet, 12, Seraphina, 9, and Samuel, 6.
The 46-year-old actor is currently in rehab, after Jennifer drove him to a Los Angeles-based facility last month. A source told ET at the time that Jennifer is “relieved” her estranged husband is now in “a safe place.”
“This has been a rough few days and [Jennifer] wants nothing more than to feel [Ben] is getting the help that he needs,” the source said, adding that Garner has “been Ben’s rock” throughout this process. “She is used to putting on a brave face, and handling Ben’s addiction, but the process has been very exhausting for her. She won’t give up on Ben because he is the father of her kids.”
Hear more in the video below, and let us know on Twitter (@etnow) who you would personally love to see Jennifer date!
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Colton Underwood Gets Advice From Sean Lowe, ABC's Original 'Virgin' Bachelor
Colton Underwood will need all the help he can get as ABC’s latest leading man on The Bachelor, but if he needs advice on navigating the dating pool as a virgin Bachelor, there’s one man he can turn to.
Sean Lowe, a former football player who starred as The Bachelor in Season 17, was in a similar boat when he helmed the ABC dating show back in 2013. Lowe wasn’t technically a virgin at the time, but at age 24 he made the decision to stop having sex outside of marriage. Lowe held out during his reign as The Bachelor, even adapting the show’s overnight Fantasy Suites for his situation.
Lowe, who is now happily married and a father to two sons with wife Catherine, his final pick on The Bachelor, told Entertainment Tonight he understands why producers cast Colton, a 26-year-old virgin with no shady past, as the franchise’s new Bachelor after Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s controversial season.
“He has an All-American feel to him, he’s likable and a good-looking, athletic guy. Given those tangible attributes, it’s going to be good for the women there; they’ll be attracted to him and it’ll build a lot of buzz and create a lot of drama as well. … They also want to build Bachelor in Paradise, and by choosing someone who was on Bachelor in Paradise, that helps give a little credence to that show as well.”
Lowe went on to compare his season of the ABC dating show to Colton’s, admitting that when he was first announced as The Bachelor five years ago, the critics came out in full force because they thought he would be a boring lead. But Lowe reiterated that “nice guys” like Colton have “typically done pretty well for the franchise… especially when a love story starts to develop, people really root for the nice guy.”
Sean Lowe’s reasons for abstaining from sex were different than Colton Underwood’s. Colton, a football player like Sean, has said he devoted his life to sports and let his dating life fall by the wayside. The 26-year-old says he is not waiting for marriage to have sex, but instead for the right “heart.” While Sean’s reasons for abstinence were completely faith-based, he still has some advice for the incoming Bachelor star.
“I was met with countless interviews where that’s all anyone wanted to talk about. It was kind of frustrating, because on the one hand it’s something you’re proud of, and on the other hand I was thinking, ‘I just got engaged to this amazing woman and I’d rather talk about this than how weird it is in this day and age to be waiting.’ My advice to Colton is be who you are, stand up for what you believe in and don’t take anything personally!”
As for those potentially awkward Fantasy Suites which are used for overnight dates with the final three contestants on The Bachelor, Lowe revealed he talked with production ahead of time to make it clear what his intentions were.
“I talked to production before those evenings started and said, ‘I want to make it clear to the women that this isn’t about sex. I don’t want to have sex, but I think that time alone without cameras is important.’ I wanted them to capture that on TV, which they did. I wanted the people at home to not have any bad ideas about what I was doing. I wanted it to be clear to the women and the viewers at home that this wasn’t about sex, it was just about having that time.”
Sean also revealed that it helped him to remember that his family would be watching the show, another reason that it was important that he remain respectful as The Bachelor.
“That’s my advice: just keep in mind that Grandma is watching!” Sean said.
Sean Lowe said he hopes Colton’s Bachelor contestants will sit down with him and hear his side of his slow romantic life instead of judging him ahead of time.
“At the end of the day, if a woman has a problem with it, she’s not going to be the one for him,” Sean said. “Hopefully, he finds some good women who really support his decision and those are the contenders in the long run.”
Many Bachelor fans are already pegging Colton Underwood as Sean 2.0. Spoiler king Reality Steve tweeted that Sean Lowe has been the franchise’s “only successful Bachelor” and that producers “must feel Colton is the closest thing they’ll get to Sean,” a guy with “character, morals, [and] no shady past.”
Indeed, out of 22 seasons of the ABC reality show, Sean Lowe remains the only Bachelor to ever marry his final pick. Maybe Colton Underwood will make it two.
The Bachelor returns to ABC in January.
